In honor of that classic Sergio Leone western starring Clint Eastwood and Lee Van Cleef.
I have decided to lift the name from the movie for this post.
It seems every blogger is doing lists these days. And sometimes, I actually feel guilty for acting like those lazy bloggers and not putting some serious writing down. But these thoughts last about as long as it takes me to eat a plate of ackee and salt fish. -Not long- So here are three lists, aptly named; the good the bad, and the ugly. [By the way, I don't mean ugly in a physical sense. The ugly column represents when bad is beyond... well bad, and ugly is the next best thing to describe that person's behavior or actions]
I will start with the Good: (These lists are not in any particular order)
1. Angelina Jolie- I have spoken about girfriend before on this blog, and she is an honorary field-negro. Her work for the children of Africa earns her a place on the field-negroes list, and the way Mrs. Pitt is going, she could be here for awhile.
2. Bill Gates-The Bill and Linda Gates Foundation has been giving tons of his money towards very worthy charities. Now that's putting your money where your mouth is.
3. Warren Buffett- Like Bill Gates above, will be donating 37 thousand million dollars. -Think about that number for a minute. Yep, old Warren will be donating his entire 85% stock in Berkshire Hathaway to Bill and Melinda Gates for charitable work. The field-negro is writing for a grant as soon as he is finished with this post.
4. Morris Dees- This great champion and hero to the civil rights struggle; is one of the reasons I decided to get into the legal profession. He co- founded the Southern Poverty Law Center in 1971. And his pro bono work on behalf of poor blacks in the early sixties helped to pave the way for the 1964 Civil Rights Act, and the 1965 Voting Rights Act.
5. Bill Keller- Editor, the New York Times. Don't worry about all the facist and right wing wack jobs calling for your head and the prosecution of your paper. Trust me, they will get over it. Besides, once the mid term elections are over, it will be as if this never happened.
6. Bono- I loved how you pressed the G-8 countries and the IMF to grant debt relief to poverty stricken Third World countries. You have used your star power in a great way. "It's a beautiful day" indeed.
7. Jack Kemp-Always principled and always upright. A Good man, with some good ideas.
8. Bill Cosby- Yeah some of it was dirty laundry, but it needed to be said.
9. Harry Belafonte-Keep speaking your mind calypso man.
10. The soldiers in Iraq- Fighting a war that should not have been declared in the first place. I have said this before, but it bears repeating: History will not be kind to frat boy and this war.
The Bad:
1. Clarence Thomas- "High Tech Lynching"? For you to even compare yourself to the thousands of poor negroes who were lynched and brutalized in this country shows just how ignorant and out of touch you really are. Oh, and I loved your decenting opinion in the Guantanamo case. Is there ever going to come a time when you don't side with Scalia on an opinion? Just wondering.
Affirmative action was made for you my man, because Stevie Wonder can see that you are on the court for one reason and one reason only. Well, let's just say it aint your intellect.
2. Karl Rove- What you are doing to John Murtha is a disgrace. You are a little weasel whose life is driven by how many votes you can get for your party. Oh if that phony picture of you in cuffs
going around on the internet could only have been true. I would have been doing cart wheels over the liberty bell.
3. Hillary Clinton- I hope you live to regret your voting for this war, and pretending to be a hawk to get votes. Like your husband, your soul is driven by polls, and whatever way you think the wind is blowing. Get some conviction, and some guts for crying out loud. You should have kicked Monica Lewinski's ass, that would have been a start.
4. Kofi Annan-You are leading the U.N. at a time when genocide is taking place in Darfur, and women and children are being raped in the Congo on a daily basis. Get off your ass and do something. And I don't believe for a minute that you were not somehow involved with the "oil for food" scandal, and you didn't line your pocket. Yeah, like your own son was going to leave you out of that little scam.
5. Rick Santorum- This junior senator from my home state acts like he is the symbol of moral virtue. Yet, this thief has been ripping off lobbyist for years, and was using Pennsylvania's tax dollars to home school his kids, while he lived in Virginia. Talk about hubris.
6. Paris Hilton- No shape, no talent, lot's of money, and a racist to boot.
7. Al Sharpton- I have seen first hand what a phony this guy is. When the cameras aren't rollng, on the good reverend, he could care less about the indigent and the poor. But once the cameras are on him; watch out!
8. Geraldo Rivera-If Sharpton is a race hustler, this guy is a news hustler. Now he is on FAUX NEWS, and you gotta wonder how this so called journalist sleeps at night. I guess as long as those "fair and balanced" checks don't bounce he is cool with it.
9. William Jefferson-Resign now, and save us all -your race, your family, and your fellow democrats- the embarrassment. I guess you never thought they would look in the refrigerator huh. Well, at least you didn't hide it in the stove.
10. Star Jones-Just shut up and go away. I never liked your petty ass anyway. From now on, the only "View" I want to see of you, is your forever shrinking backside walking away.
The Ugly:
1. Clarence Thomas-Yep, a twofer. I despise this guy that much.
2. Wayne Lapierre- Hey Wayne, every time some poor kid gets shot, you should feel equal pain on some part of your body. Of course it still wouldn't be enough, but it's a start.
3. Jack Abramoff-Just sentenced to 5 years and 10 months. Once a powerful lobbyist, now the entire lobbying scandal in Washington centers around him. Now you know who your real friends are Jack.
4. Rush Limbaugh- So the "Man" is coming down on you ha Rush? Welcome to my world buddy. Hey, did you have fun on your little jaunt down to the Dominican Republic? Why didn't you take anyone with you? Hey, not that there is anything wrong with that :)
5. O.J. Simpson-O.J., you killed Nicole, and you are walking free. If I were you I would just go away. But noooo, your black ass stay in the news for one dumb thing or another. You won't stop until "Mr. Charlie" gets you right where he wants you; under the jail! Oh, and don't think I forgot what you did to John Carlos and Tommie Smith. You sold them out back then, and before you killed Nicole and rediscovered your race; you would have done it to them again.
6. Rupert Murdoch- He gave us FAUX NEWS. Nuff said!
7. Michael Jackson- Nope, I am not going to leave Michael alone. All this Peter Pan s**t has got to stop. You are a grown ass man dog!
8. Ralph Reed-One of the most dangerous men in America. With the help of his christian coalition buddies, almost turned this country into a theocratic state. -See Iran- Now he is running for Lieutenant Governor of Georgia. Be afraid Georgia, be very afraid.
9. Dick Cheyney- Come on, just look at the guy, do I even have to explain why he is on this list? Besides, he shot a man!
I'm out.
Thursday, June 29, 2006
Monday, June 26, 2006
Will The Real Ving Please Stand Up?
This is the first and last time the field-negro will post pictures of himself on this blog. This is being done for a reason. -Well two reasons actually- The first one is to help a friend win a bet. It seems she has had a running battle with another friend who occasionally reads my blog, and who swore up and down I was another mutual friend of theirs. My friend, who actually knew who I was, bet this sceptic, and begged me to post my picture so that she could collect on the bet. Well here it is, and I want my cut.
Now the second reason is to have a little fun with you, and to warn my man Ving Rhames that he better check his credit cards at all times. (Just Kidding) But seriously, this happens to me every time my man Ving is in a major movie. It started with "Rosewood", then it was "Pulp Fiction", then"Con Air", and now right into the "Mission Impossible" franchise. I will be out somewhere and invariably someone will come up to me and say: "You look just like Ving Rhames" Now if its a white person, they will say something like: " You look like that guy, I can't think of his name, you know, the one from 'Mission Impossible', or -----insert one of the movies I named above here--- And so it goes, until my man's latest project dies down, I will get stares in restaurants, on the street, and at work. Of course I have a standard answer for that comment, and it goes something like this: "Yeah, but I sure wish I had his money". Now this Ving Rhames thing has gotten ugly at times for me too. After "Pulp Fiction" I caught hell from my friends about a certain scene in the movie. Some went as far as to mimic that now infamous scene where Ving gets...-well we won't bother to describe it. Let's just say when Ving is caught in an uncomfortable position- whenver they saw me. Thank goodness that movie is behind me.-No pun intended- although every now and then, it plays on cable, and if I happen to see it, I start worrying all over again, that the jokes will start from my boys.
But other than that, it's cool, no harm no foul. Heck, Ving needs to be the one that's worried. After all, he is the celebrity with a lot more to lose if the field-negro decides to pretend he is Ving one day, and do some very un Ving like things. I can see the headlines now: ACTOR VING RHAMES ARRESTED FOR DRIVING HIS LEASED PORCHE 911 OF SPEEDS IN EXCESS OF 120 MILES AN HOUR. Again I kid . I will be a good field-negro and uphold Ving's image and not do anything to put him in the news. Although I was thinking....I wonder if Ving knows Lark Voorhies? Mmmmm, maybe Ving and I need to talk.
While I am in an entertainment mode, I was tinking about something. I was driving to work this morning and a Luther Vandross classic came on the radio. Man did he sound good. I mean that brother could sing like an Angel. So anyway, I was thinking, in my life time was there anyone that could do it better than Luther? I am not sure, and in order to help myself, I came up with a list of my top ten balladeers or crooners of all time. No explanations needed just their names: [This order could be jumbled by reversing ten and one and visa versa and you wouldn't get an argument out of me]
1. Luther Vandross
2. Sam Cooke
3. Nat King Cole
4. Marvin Gaye
5. Dennis Brown
6. Frank Sinatra
7. Will Downing
8. Brian Mcnight
9. Al Green
10. Smokey Robinson
This was a male solo list only. So some great group singers like Phillipe Wynne, and Frankie Beverly were left off. As were the greats from the female side. I will get to them next time. Hey, I was listening to Luther OK!
Now the second reason is to have a little fun with you, and to warn my man Ving Rhames that he better check his credit cards at all times. (Just Kidding) But seriously, this happens to me every time my man Ving is in a major movie. It started with "Rosewood", then it was "Pulp Fiction", then"Con Air", and now right into the "Mission Impossible" franchise. I will be out somewhere and invariably someone will come up to me and say: "You look just like Ving Rhames" Now if its a white person, they will say something like: " You look like that guy, I can't think of his name, you know, the one from 'Mission Impossible', or -----insert one of the movies I named above here--- And so it goes, until my man's latest project dies down, I will get stares in restaurants, on the street, and at work. Of course I have a standard answer for that comment, and it goes something like this: "Yeah, but I sure wish I had his money". Now this Ving Rhames thing has gotten ugly at times for me too. After "Pulp Fiction" I caught hell from my friends about a certain scene in the movie. Some went as far as to mimic that now infamous scene where Ving gets...-well we won't bother to describe it. Let's just say when Ving is caught in an uncomfortable position- whenver they saw me. Thank goodness that movie is behind me.-No pun intended- although every now and then, it plays on cable, and if I happen to see it, I start worrying all over again, that the jokes will start from my boys.
But other than that, it's cool, no harm no foul. Heck, Ving needs to be the one that's worried. After all, he is the celebrity with a lot more to lose if the field-negro decides to pretend he is Ving one day, and do some very un Ving like things. I can see the headlines now: ACTOR VING RHAMES ARRESTED FOR DRIVING HIS LEASED PORCHE 911 OF SPEEDS IN EXCESS OF 120 MILES AN HOUR. Again I kid . I will be a good field-negro and uphold Ving's image and not do anything to put him in the news. Although I was thinking....I wonder if Ving knows Lark Voorhies? Mmmmm, maybe Ving and I need to talk.
While I am in an entertainment mode, I was tinking about something. I was driving to work this morning and a Luther Vandross classic came on the radio. Man did he sound good. I mean that brother could sing like an Angel. So anyway, I was thinking, in my life time was there anyone that could do it better than Luther? I am not sure, and in order to help myself, I came up with a list of my top ten balladeers or crooners of all time. No explanations needed just their names: [This order could be jumbled by reversing ten and one and visa versa and you wouldn't get an argument out of me]
1. Luther Vandross
2. Sam Cooke
3. Nat King Cole
4. Marvin Gaye
5. Dennis Brown
6. Frank Sinatra
7. Will Downing
8. Brian Mcnight
9. Al Green
10. Smokey Robinson
This was a male solo list only. So some great group singers like Phillipe Wynne, and Frankie Beverly were left off. As were the greats from the female side. I will get to them next time. Hey, I was listening to Luther OK!
Sunday, June 25, 2006
The Miami Seven
Last Thurday, FBI agents stormed the poverty stricken Liberty City section of Miami.
According to the agency, they were looking for al-Qaida extremist who were plotting to blow up the Sears Tower in Chicago, as well as various FBI buildings. The agents, acting with laser like precision, used blow torches to blow off the warehouse doors where the alleged plot was bing hatched. And when it was all said and done, seven men, (five American citizens, and two Haitian nationals -one of them here illegally) were arrested. The arrest was done with great fanfare, and the usual media bltiz that follows these types of events. So of course, there was the usual wall to wall coverage on all the 24 hour cable news shows, and front page stories on the cover of all the major newspapers. The Attorney General held a press conference to praise the work of law enorcement, and FBI Director, Robert Mueller, appeared on Larry King to further explain to the nation that; " it's an ongoing operation..." There were statements from both the Governors of Florida and Illinois, and the U.S. Attorney for Miami, R. Alexander Acosta, basically echoed everything that Attorney General Gonzales said, by reiterating how important of a blow this was to the war on terror. Officials went on to say that; "this was a part of a radical black Muslim group planning terrorist acts".... Yep he said "radical black Muslim group". Oh ohh, you do know what this means don't you black folks; it means welcome to the war on terror, you have now officially become a part of the suspect class.
But I will talk more about that later. For now, let's look at another statement made by the FBI: "There was no credible threat that has gone beyond criminal discussion...". And yet another statement from law enforcement, this one from U.S. Attorney Acosta. "The city of Miami is under no imminent threat" Ok, so you mean all those FBI agents that flooded Liberty City with the precision of our army in Iraq was just there for show? As I am starting to watch and listen to this story, a picture is starting to emerge, and I gotta tell you, something just doesn't smell right out here in the fields.
Here is why I can't get this funny stench out of my nortrils. These men weren't Muslims nor were they Islamist terrorist. Who were they? Well, according to most accounts, they were a bunch of poor, misguided, unemployed, and dare I say, bumbling group of men. Who it would appear, had come together to form some sort of a religious group. They called themselves "Seas of David" and they practiced physical fitness and other rituals as part of their religion. In fact, according to one of their members, a man known as Brother Corey,- who was not arrested- they were peaceful, and only wished to spread their religious message into the sorrounding community. By all accounts, they were harmless, and they stuck out in the Liberty City neighborhood like sore thumbs. -Hardly the actions or modus operandi of hardened terrorist- No one in the neighborhood thought they posed a threat, and in fact, many people in the neighborhood thought they were somewhat of a joke. By all accounts the Boy Scouts could have taken them down. They had no weapons, no actual explosives, and no funds to carry out their alleged plot. Unlike the guys from upstate New York who actually went to Pakistan for training, these guys, by all accounts, never even left the country. So why all the hoopla over the capture of this gang that couldn't shoot straight; or shoot at all for that matter?
Well, if you listen to many cynics, it's all a part of frat boy's strategy to bring the nation's focus back to the war on terror, and to show the country that he and his team are on top of things. -After all, there is a mid term election just around the corner- I don't happen to be quite so cynical. Although, like my man Arsenio used to say;"It does make you wanna go mmm".
But I keep going back to that statement, that there was no iminent threat that went beyond criminal discussion. I mean really, what does that mean? I will give you an analogy: Every one that reads this blog knows that I am always trying to find ways to hook up with Lark Voorhies. And I gotta tell you, in my mind ....well, let's just say Lark and I have spent some pretty interesting times together. So have I actually made out with Lark Voorhies, do I even have a shot? As much as it pains me to say so, the answer is no! -Please follow my Lark Voorheies analogy here. You see, I have about as much of a shot of getting with Lark as these idiots had of blowing up the Sears Tower. And because I keep thinking it, doesn't make it more likely to happen. Another thing, just because I have these thoughts about Lark Voorhies, it doesn't mean I that should I be arrested for stalking her? They are, after all just thoughts. Do you see the analogy? -If you don't I will understand, I just had to get Lark in this post somehow- Even if you don't agree with me on the seriousness of the charges, you have to admit that as far as the war on terror goes, this was a lot of hoopla for a pretty lame catch.
Now I am not saying these guys should not have been arrested for something; I don't know, maybe conspiracy. After all, you just can't have discussions about killing people with total strangers, and go around taking pictures of potential targets. So I am not giving this gang of idiots a total pass. But you have to wonder just how much this informer helped to entrap these men on terrorism charges with the promise of money, clothes, food etc.. I gotta tell you, there are some brothers here in Philly who would join the klan if you gave them the right amount of money, so I'm not impressed with this FBI sting. And I have some serious questions about how the entire thing went down. Sorry, but an informant or mole goes into a depressed neighborhood like this, sees a vulnarable group, and starts promising them the world; more than likely you will get something. The leader of this group,- Narseal Batiste- seemed more like a hustler than a terrorist to me, and he thought he found his perfect mark in this informer. This is not unusual in the hood, there are hundreds of guys like Mr. Batiste trying to find ways to hustle groups every day. -See my previous post about some pastors in the hood- Unfortunately for him, he has really stepped in it this time, and has bitten off way more than he can chew.
I want to make this clear, I understand we are still at war with Islamic terrorist, and I know that they would just as soon slit the throat of this field-negro as they would any other American. And I also know, that home grown terrorist can be dangerous.- See what happened in London last summer- But situations like this past week make me uneasy. I start wondering if the war on terror is being politicized, and if we really needed all the ballyhoo over the capture of a bunch of not too smart guys from the hood. Especially when real al-Qaida operatives could have placed deadly gases on New York subway trains, but passed on it because they felt like it. Oh, and up to the point of me writing this post, they have not been heard from let alone captured. Now that's scary! Have all the news conferences you want when you capture those guys.
As I mentioned earlier in this post black folks have now become a part of the suspect class in the war on terror. So I am also pretty pissed off about this latest arrest for selfish reasons. I know now that my previous pass at airport checkpoints is over, and I will now be scrutinized just as hard, if not harder, than the Arab guy next to me. Now I will just have to add "FWB" to "DWB", and be ready to have my ID ready at all times in airports too.
Hey, maybe that's what they wanted all along......mmmm.
**Just a note: The field-negro has added "Media Matters" to this blog. I know that they are left leaning, and I do try to stay as neutral as possible in the political gang wars. But I like the fact that they show actual clips, and as we all know, the tape doesn't lie.
Peace!
Thursday, June 22, 2006
NEVER FORGET!
A gentleman by the name of James Cameron passed away recently, and I am willing to bet that most African Americans have no idea who he was. Mr. Cameron was over ninety years old when he died, and he was the founder of the "Black Holocaust Museum in Milwaukee. But that's not why I am talking about him in this post. You see, Mr. Cameron was one of the very few people to survive a lynching. That now infamous picture of his two friends hanging from a tree in Marion Indiana should have included him. But someone among the mob of barbarians shouted to let him go, and miraculously, they did just that. Thankfully, he lived to tell his story over and over again. And it's people like Mr. Cameron, -through his accounts, and his work to create the museum- that has always helped to remind us of what a horrible country this used to be, and what a horrible country it can become, if we are not vigilant. The following are just reminders of some of those negroes who were not as fortunate as Mr. Cameron:
SAM HOSE-Lynched, 4/23/1899, Newman, GA.
Mr. Hose killed his employer over wages. He was hanged, burned, and skinned; his genitals mutilated by a lynch mob. Some of his body parts
were taken by onlookers.
WILLIAM BROWN-Lynched, 09/1919, Omaha, NE.
Mr. Brown was dragged from the Douglas County jail
by a lynch mob. He was shot, hanged, his body dragged through the streets,
and burned. Pieces of the rope that was used to lynch him were
sold as souvenirs for 10 cents a piece.
THOMAS SHIPP & ABRAHAM SMITH-Lynched, 08/07/1930, Marion, IN.
These were Mr. Cameron's companions on that faithful night.
They were accused of killing a white man and raping a white woman.
Of course they never received a trial, and none of the alleged perpetrators were prosecuted.
RUBIN STACY-Lynched, 07/19/1935, Fort Lauradale, FL.
Taken by a white mob from deputies near Miami.
This homeless tenant farmer's crime was scaring a white woman
in her home when he went to knock on her door. Out of work and hungry, he was simply trying to get something to eat.
LINT SHAW-Lynched, 1936, Royston, GA.
MICHAEL DONALD-Lynched, 03/21/1981, Mobile, AL.
He was lynched by three white men who went looking for a black man to kill-any black man- after another
black man was acquitted by a predominantly black jury of killing a white police officer.
"I do forgive you. From the day I found out who you all was, I asked God to take care of you all, and he has"
~Marge Donald~(Mother of Michael Donald) to her son's killers.
Good for you Ms. Donald, I am glad you have the capacity to forgive and call on your God for strength. The field-negro, on the other hand, is not so forgiving, and not so willing to forget.
That's where the anger comes from, and that's what drives me to keep reminding
my fellow Americans -especially black folks- what unchecked power is capable of doing to people.
Those were just a few of the thousands of my people lynched at the hands of white mobs.
No trials, no due process, no dignity in their death. -I am sure family pets had better burials back then. Just remember when the flag wavers tell you how great of a country this is, and how lucky you are to be living in the "greatest country on God's green earth". When blinded by hatred, what some of these God fearing people did to their fellow human beings, and how many of their fellow citizens turned away.
Thanks Mr. Cameron!
Sunday, June 18, 2006
My Take On The News
Happy father's day everybody. The field-negro is actually blogging off the plantation. (Isn't technology beautiful?) Anyway, the field-negro escaped from the plantation for a little R&R. But I love you, the reader, so much, that I still decided to give you my take on the latest news. So here goes.
"Legislators Must Step Up On Guns"
The murder count in Philly has now reached 169. Just last week a four year old girl was shot and critically wounded when some young animals masquerading as human beings had a running gun battle in her neigborhood. Now I can't say this enough; laws are needed in this state (Pennsylvania) to limit the sale of handguns, especially in large urban areas. There are some cowards in Harrisburg who refuse to take a stand on a bill (HB871) that would do just that. And some of those political whores have even voted no on the bill. (God forbid they give up that NRA money) Not surprisingly, every one of them are republicans. But don't worry, they sleep well at night. They could care less about some little black girl in inner city Philadelphia whose death will never effect their isolated suburban world. No, something will have to happen closer to home for them to take note. (Like maybe another Columbine style shooting) Now as bad as this is going to sound; I hope something happens soon, because we just can't go on like this much longer.
"Barbara Strisand's Tickets Set Record At $750"
WTF? Has she lost her "Funny Girl" mind? Better yet, have her fans lost their minds? If there is even one person that drops $750 to hear that has been sing, they are in serious need of mental help. Heck give me the $750. I will payoff the doorman at the Wachovia Center to get you inside, get you better seats, and even get you a limo ride to and from the concert. After all of that, I will still have money left over for myself for service fees.
"Ohio Congressman Earmarked Millions For First Lady Library"
What a wonderful husband. It seems republican congressman Ralph Regula of Ohio, (A senior member of the House Appropriations Committee) has helped earmark $4.5 million in federal money to help create a national historic site called the National First Ladies Library.
Oh and get this, his wife runs the joint. "This is a national treasure" he said of the site. "It's the only one of it's kind that tells the story of first ladies. It's a great story for American history"
Yeah, I can't wait to hear what Nancy Reagan's favorite type of china to use for state dinners was. Apparently, over the years, this guy (Regula) has made a habit of inserting earmarks that are beneficial to him in various spending bills, so this is nothnig new for the good republican from Ohio. Interesting state that Ohio, I am starting to think the buckeye state might be the center of midwestern political corruption and not Illinois.
"AK-47 Designer Regretful"
It seems Mikhail Kalashnikov, the designer of the famous AK-47 assault rifle also known as the Kalashnikov, or"bushmaster", has been having some serious regrets about his brain child. The AK-47 is now the weapon of choice for terrorist all over the world. -Osama bin Laden can be seen in video tapes with one- And it's the weapon of choice for rebel armies in places like Mozambique and Lebanon. The rfile is cheap, easy to use, and very effective. Kalashnikov admits that the weapon was sold to many third world countries for practically nothing with the intent of aiding liberation struggles. The end result has been that the AK-47 is more prevalent than food in many of these countries, and kids as young as ten years old have become masters at using it. How sad, that Mr. Kalashnikov used his brilliance to invent an instrument of death, and not somethimg beneficial for mankind.
"Somali Leaders Say They Warned U.S."
It seems frat-boy's state department and the military has bungled yet another one. As a result, his foreign policy when it comes to Africa continues to be a mess. Apparently, by aiding the war-lords, the U.S. has only helped to strengthen the Islamist forces there. The report says; that in early March, nine of Mogadishu's most prominent community leaders seceretly flew to neighboring Djibouti and pleaded with the U.S. military officials to stop funding the war lords who were devastating their city. Of course, we ignored their warnings, and as a result, the Islamist militia is set to take control of southern Somalia where officials believe that at least two senior al-Qaeda operatives are hiding. Folks, this is going to get worse before it gets better, the Islamic Courts already control Mogadishu, and Jowar, and are set to move on Baidoa where the internationally recognized transitional government of that country has set up shop. So the next time one of frat-boy's Kool-Aide drinkers try to tell you what a great job he is doing on the war on terror, remind them of the festering problem in East Africa, and it's potential implications.
"Why GOP's Winning War- Of Words"
Dick Polman, who is a pretty good political writer for the Philadelhia Inquirer, thinks that while the democrats remain divided over the war in Iraq, the republicans are rallying around Karl Rove's talking points; which is stay the course in Iraq. According to Polman, many democrats, including pollsters like James Carville and Stan Greenberg, think the democrats need a message. Because although the public at large has had it with frat-boy, they can't turn to the democrats, because they have no message themselves. I happen to agree. The problem is, that democrats, like republicans, have no real core convictions and their bottom line is always trying to find ways to hold on to their power. Sadly, as a result, the democrats especially have become a party of polls and going whichever way the popular wind blows. This is a sure recipe for disaster, and having leaders like Nancy Pelosi, and Harry Reid are like gifts to the republican Gods. Irresolute, and indecisive; you have to wonder how these people became so powerful in the first place. Whatever the case, democrats better figure it out fast, or else this mid-term, that little weasel of an equivocater from Texas, (Karl Rove) will be jigging all over the white house lawn.
"Street Shooting Kills Five In New Orleans"
It's possibly drug related, and it happened right in the Central City neighborhood.
If only Katrina could have taken out these animals when she passed through the "Big Easy"
it would have been a big relief to this particular field-negro.
"George Bush doesn't care about black people..." No Kanye, ignorant ass black people don't care about other black people.
Sports
And now on a lighter note, let's talk some sports:
I see the Phillies have lost six in a row; now that's more like it.
My Jamaican grandmother used to say: " Gad naw sleep"
This means simply, God is not sleeping, and he always punishes you for your past deeds.
I have said this before, but it bears repeating. The Philadelphia Phillies have historically been one of the most racist clubs in baseball. They were the last National League team to integrate and they passed on Roy Campenella who was right here in Philly, because he was black. When the Blue Jays played the Phillies in the 1993 world series, most black folks in this city were cheering for the Jays and not the "fightens" with their squad of good ole boys. So yes, I am officially off their band wagon for this year, and it was an easy call to make.
I see team U.S.A. gutted out a nice draw with the Italians. That's great, but the match of the day was the Ghana Czech Republic match. That was a beautiful thing to watch. The speed , and ball artistry of the Ghanans remineded me of the "beautiful game " made famous by the Brazilians. Ghana won 2-0, and it could have been 5-0 had it not been for some unbelievable goal tending by the Czech keeper. Not only did Ghanas winning give team U.S.A. a chance, but it sets up a great game next Thursday between the two countris. Go "black stars"! (Who else did you expect the field-negro to cheer for?)
So the Miami Heat has tied the series with the Mavs. Oh oh, I guess we should have let that sleeping giant (Shaq) lie huh. Come on Avery, you better step up and get your boys to play.
It's crunch time now baby, I am rooting for you and the Mavs only because of your Jaguar connection, so don't let me down.
Sorry to see Mr. Multiracial man drop out of the U.S. Open. Of course I am no big fan of Multiracial man, but it would have been nice to see him and lefty go down the stretch on father's day. At least the real field-negro on tour (That would be Vijay) still has a shot.
Hey that's it for me folks, but before I go, a word about father's day:
This is supposed to be a day of celebrating the bonds that are shaped between a father and his child. And praising all the father's that give so much to their families and their children without any fanfare on a daily basis. For those of use who have experienced that bond with our fathers throughout our life time, we know that it's priceless. And we know that we wouldn't be where we are today without it. A father who stays at home and makes sure his family in in tact is a hero to everyone of us who understand its importance. Sadly, many of our children have never experienced this feeling, and will never know what a father's love feels like. This is equally sad for both boys and girls. For the girls, it makes for insecure women, who lack self esteem, and who latch on to the first loser that comes along, so that he can take the place of the male figure she never had in her life. For the boys, it's a lack of guidance and discipline. The type of discipline that's needed to make it in a society that demands so much of us as black men. I long for the day when father's day will hold as significant a meaning in my community as it does in others, and the men in my community will step up to the plate and do for their families, as they always seem to be able do for themselves.
Peace!
Thursday, June 15, 2006
Day Trip
I want to tell you about a memorable day trip I recently had thanks to a court management conference that the field-Negro attended. This post will not really focus on the conference itself, but on a fascinating experience I had while on my way to it. I think it will surprise you.
Anyway, first a PSA:
I have been getting a lot of e-mails and flack from people who visit the field-Negro's web, about the tone and approach of some of my posts. The complaints usually go something like this: Why all the venom, why the mean spiritedness, and why don't you ever have anything good to say about anybody field-Negro? Must you always resort to name calling and trying to belittle and disparage people who disagree with you, can't you be more civil in your discourse? Well I suppose I could, but I don't want to, besides, usually when I write I am angry, so if that's the tone of my post, so be it. Hey, it's my site, so I reserve the right to say just about whatever I damn well please. For instance, If I want to call Thomas Sowell a republican pimp, I am free to do so. If I want to call LeShawn Barber a republican whore, I can do that too. And if I happen to say that Ann Coulter looks like an emaciated witch with the neck of a camel...well, you get the picture :) Thank goodness America is about choices, so fortunately for you, if you don't happen to like what the field-negro is saying, there are a million other blogs that I am sure will cater to your point of view. One thing the field-negro won't do though, is screen or censor the posters-You will notice all the Aryan brothers posting of late- I welcome everybody , and I am glad that I can help to bring the slime out of the wood work, so that everyone can know what type of country we really live in.
Now back to my road trip. So the court system -my employer- has a bus waiting to take us down to Delaware where the conference is being held. I arrive bright and early and scope out where I am going to be sitting for my trip. Now it's early, and I really don't feel like talking to anybody, so I scope out a spot towards the back of the bus-yeah I know I know I can sit in the front now- where I think I will more or less be left alone.
As we load up, I spot the head of our courts security heading my way. A nice fellow with a Marine style hair cut who is straight out of central casting to play one of those movie drill sergeants that we always see. He is a good guy and I like him, but the field-negro just wasn't in the mood for any company. Of course, as luck would have it, he sits right next to me. Hi John, (not his real first name) I muster up a smile and I think he is seeing right through my phony platitudes because he just kinda nodded at me. Hi field, I didn't know they signed you up for this detail- Detail? Okay, definitely a military guy- yeah, I figured it's a good way to get out of the office I mumble and feign fatigue by stretching out my hands.
We are heading out of Philly and on to 95 south, my seat mate is itching for a conversation, I can see it in his eyes. I start to feel bad, and figure what the heck, I will say something to the guy, just for conversation sake. "Hey weren't you in the reserves John?" He looked surprised that I broke the silence like that. "Yeah I was a full time Marine but I retired and became a reservist a few years back." Now I remembered, John had actually served in Iraq, and was away for quite awhile. I remember the e-mails we got that we should pray for him while he was over there. "Hey you were in Iraq right?" I said. "Yeah I was." Now he looked like he didn't want to talk. But my curiosity was up; I suddenly found him interesting. I told him about my brother- in- law, who was still in an army hospital in San Antonio Texas, and who was recovering from shrapnel wounds and burns he suffered when a suicide bomber drove right into a Humvee he was the lead gunner on. I told him about how messed up he was, how he still can't hold his one year old daugther the right way, and how his wife thinks a total stranger came back from Iraq. Now the poor guy wakes up screaming in the middle of the night, and sits in long moments of silence without looking at any thing in particular.
John told me about leading a platoon of men over there during some of the bloodiest days of the conflict. How he didn't lose anyone, but some of his men suffered serious injuries. He said he still goes down to Bethesda Maryland to visit the men who are still recovering from wounds they suffered over there. He told me he could relate to my brother in law and what he was going through. He said every time he is driving down the highway, and sees a parked car on the side of the road he becomes uneasy. ( I was thinking to myself that my brother in law told me the same thing) He told me about the time he went to Disney World and while he was carrying his son on his shoulder, a fireworks display went off, and how he instinctively dropped to the ground, almost injuring his son because it sounded so much like an explosion from Iraq. Now he was in a far away place himself, probably reliving those long hot days in the urban jungle that is Bagdad, where every breath could be your last. I watched him for awhile in silence, and in away, I felt guilty. Guilty because he and people like my brother- in- law had gone through it, and I hadn't. I thought of all the chicken hawk republican talk show hosts; like the droopy eyed Hannity and Rush the addict, and how easy it was for them to sit in their studios every day and rant about what a great war this is, when they had no fucking idea. I thanked him for his service, and told him that no matter how people feel about the war, they appreciate the soldiers and what they have been doing for us. I finally confessed to him that I was against the war, that I thought his commander in chief made a serious blunder, and that we would have been better off going to Afghanistan instead. He said as a soldier he had no choice, but even if he did, he would have signed up for this war. He said that he thought it was the right thing to do. Funny, I never asked my brother- in- law how he felt about the politics of it, but I suspect his answer would be similar. It's because unlike the chicken hawks, they actually have something invested in the outcome of the war. For some it's emotional, and for some -like my brother-in-law- it's both physical and emotional. They left something over there and they don't want that sacrifice to be in vein. I can't say I blame them, had I gone, I would probably feel the same way.
We talked some more; he gave me his war stories and I related some of the ones my brother- in- law told me. He gave me his home phone number and e-mail address, and told me to give it to my brother in law. He said he wanted to touch basis with him. -- I guess he wanted to hear the stories from him and not second hand from some civillian. We laughed, talked some more, and talked about our own urban war stories from the urban jungles of Philadelphia as well. (You wouldn't believe some of the stuff that happens in big city courtrooms)
The bus started to slow down, and we realized that we were at our conference. Wow, that ride was too quick. Now I was starting to wish the conference was alot farther away. I really enjoyed my time with this Marine. And I will see him from an entirely different perspective every time I enter the building and see him and his crew at the metal detectors.
The rest of the conference was anticlimactic, and the ride back was not nearly as fulfilling. Every one was beat and we slept the entire way. But hey, I already had my fill for the day. My education and training took place on the bus to the conference, not at it.
Semper Fi!
Sunday, June 11, 2006
The Field-Negroes Take On The News
Hi everybody, it's Sunday Morning again, and massa has thrown out his paper.
Time for the field-negro to grab a quick read and give you his take on the latest news.
Three Found Hanged At Gunatanamo:
This is somewhat troubling although if you read this blog you know my view on the Guntanamo situation. I am not nearly as outraged as many people on the left and the world wide human rights groups are. First, (unless I am missing something) the conditions there don't seem nearly as bad as many would have us believe. And although I understand there might be some due process issues with the people being held there, an argument could be made that they are still prisoners of war. So sorry, the field-negro is not crying a river for those being held on the army prison surrounded by the Caribbean sea. There are minorities being held in this country for crimes they didn't commit, and in worse prison conditions than Guantanamo. So unless it is shown that these men were tortured and hanged, I am inclined to believe that they hung themselves to make a religious and political point.
U.S.-Nato Shift Allows Taliban Resurgence:
This is great, just what we need, a Taliban resurgence in Afghanistan. Reports are that Taliban fighters have launched a large spring time offensive and they have been emboldened by a lack of a U.S. led coalition in the Southern part of that country. My position is, and has been all along, that we should not have gone into Iraq, but should have invaded Afghanistan with the full force of our army. This is where Osama is, and it is where we face the most threat from terror. If the Taliban is allowed to energize themselves, like the Russians before us, we will be in for a long painful war. More troops on the ground there and out of Iraq would be one sure way to prevent history from repeating itself.
And speaking of Iraq. I am not even going to comment on the death of that animal and butcher Zarqawi. Why? Because it will have zero effect on the insurgency in Iraq. Zero! And if anyone doubts what I am saying just look at todays head lines about Iraq. More beheadings, more car bombings, and more sectarian violence. So inspite of wall to wall celebration coverage from FAUX NEWS, and frat boy grinning ear to ear and declaring significant progress in Iraq, the death of Zarqawi means nothing.
Geno's Owner Draws Buzz -And Maybe A Bias Suit:
Now this story has more of a local Philadelphia flavor, but it's an important one because it has some national implications.
Here is the deal. When you think Philly you think cheese staek, and there are only two must visit cheese steak joints for tourist when coming Philly. They are Pat's and Gino's. Now these two spots have hosted Presidents, world leaders, foreign and local dignitaries, actors, and just about every average joe that has visited Philly over the years. So here is the problem, one of these joints have posted a sign in their eatery which declares: "This is AMERICA WHEN ORDERING SPEAK ENGLISH" The owner, Joey Vento,-nice Italian name- isn't backing down, and not surprisingly he has become a darling to the right wing radio talk show circuit in this town, and nationally as well. He says (and I am paraphrasing now) when his ancestors came to this country they had to learn to speak English, and these other immigrants should do the same.
Joey, with all due respect, you sound like a complete moron. I can only hope every other Philadelphian will do what I am going to do: And that is never visit or bring any out of town guest to your ignorant xenophobic establishment again. Whether you like it or not big guy, your eating joint has become a Philadelphia institution, and by excluding people who don't speak English from ordering in your establishment, you not only hurt your own bottom line, but you hurt Philadelphia's tourism as well. So please every one, from now on, PAT'S steaks only when in Philly.
Gingrich May Run For President In 08:
Newt Gingrich? The same Newt who cheated on his wife while she was very ill, who was involved with scandals left and right while in Washington, and who pioneered the contract ON America movement? That Newt? Geeez, I can't wait.
Carribbean Braces For Tropical Storm:
Just two weeks into the hurricane season, and we already have a major storm churning off the coast of Cuba. Go ahead, laugh at Al Gore, but he was right; global warming is a serious issue.
I saw his new movie about that subject, and it scared the s#&* out of me. Gore was right about the internet, right about the Iraq, and he is right about the environment. Now I have met the man, and at the end of the day, I would still rather play a round of golf with frat-boy than with Gore. So he still has some image issues he needs to work on. He is still too stiff and robotic, and unfortunately for him, Americans like their leader to be open and engaging sort of like frat-boy.
Wouldn't it be nice if we could put Gore's brain with frat-boy's personality?
An Overdue Deal For Apprenticeships:
This is another local Philadelphia story but one that I am sure many African Americans -especially in large Northern cities- will recognize. Recently the Philadelphia School District signed an agreement with the Philadelphia Building and Construction Trades Council to allow up to 425 apprenticeships over the next four years. This is long over due, and to hear many old-time black Philadelphians tell it, not having such a deal in place, is what has created the poverty gap in this city between blacks and whites. You must understand, that the Philadelphia public high school system is probably about 85% black, and so, it's fair to say, that the black children in the district will benefit greatly from this program.
But it wasn't always so. For years blacks in this city were excluded from getting the work in the skilled labor unions like the electricians, carpenters, plumbers, etc. where jobs could pay as much as $40 an hour. These jobs went to the Irish, Italian, and Polish immigrants in this city, while the blacks were excluded and had to settle for work in the much lower paying labor unions. Can you imagine if poor inner city kids can be given a chance to make up to $40 an hour, as opposed to working for minimum wage at a fast food restaurant? This move was prompted because the number of blacks in the skilled trades continue to be very minimal, - no accident I am sure- and there is no guarantee that this new program will change much in the short term. But it's a start, and I am glad the problem has been exposed, because it has been a dirty little secret in this city for way too long.
Sports:
On a lighter note, let me talk a little sports with you.
Another great Philly fighter, B-Hop did his thing last night in Atlantic City and took Antonio Tarver to school. (Lopsided unanimous decision) At 41 my man is the truth, he says this was his last fight but I think he might still have a couple of good fights left in him. I have met him a few times, and not only is Hopkins a great champion, he is a class act. So he gets much love from the field-negro.
Man I am loving this world cup. I only wish the "Reggae Boyz" were there. But guess what, T&T did the Caribbean nations proud by playing Sweden to a 0-0 draw. My money is still on Brazil to win the whole thing, but France, and Argentina will be a tough out too.
Every reader to this post knows by now that I am a track man, so I am going to give some props to Xavier Carter. (Sprinter from LSU) All my man did was win four titles at the NCAA outdoor track and field championships. The only other person to ever do that was none other than the late, great, Jessie Owens. (1935-36)
Speaking of world cup, it seems the German team has some players of color on their squad, and it has upset some German fans who seem to have forgotten about World War II and a certain man with a funny mustache. Anyway, we all know that racism is a huge problem in Europe, and it has reared it's ugly head in professional soccer over there. Let's just hope there aren't any ugly incidents at this world cup. Oh, and we need more GOOOOOOOALS!
By now every one has heard about the lcoal horse Barbaro who won the Kentucky Derby and then broke his leg in the following leg of the triple crown. He had some of the best veterinary surgeons from the University of Pennsylvania working on him, he has been the lead story on local and sports news, he has been on the front page of all the local and some national papers, and he now has a huge fan club all over the United States praying for his recovery. I don't want to rain on Barbaro's parade but... HE IS A HORSE!! Who gives a damn whether he lives or dies? Some of the same people crying over this damn horse will read about some innocent kid being shot to death in North Philly, shrug their shoulders, and go right back to drinking their morning tea. Or, they will head to Ruth Chris tonight to chow down on a well done steak courtesy of some poor cow. So enough of the Barbaro stuff already! Give me a gun, I would shoot the horse myself to make the story go away.
The Heat go down in game one. Shaq my man, you have got to learn to hit at leat 50% of your free throws. 36.8% aint gonna get it done. I am still rooting for the Mavs though, my man and fellow "Jaguar nation" alum, Avery Johnson, is the coach so... GO MAVS!!
Mmmmm, now that Jason Grimsley (A pticher) has been busted with performance enhancing drugs, will everyone get off Barry's case? I doubt it, because Barry is Barry, he just broke the beloved Babe's record, and some folks (including sports writers) are pissed off about that.
But this Grimsley thing confirms what I have been saying all along, there are alot more pitchers and hitters juicing, and if Barry was on the juice, he was just one of many. He just happened to be so good at what he does, that his performance took him way over the top and ahead of everyone else. So maybe the hate Barry movement will die down now, and he will get in the "Hall" on the first ballot like he deserves.
The NHL Stanley Cup finals are on. Is anyboy watching? .......Anybody? Never mind.
Well bye for now folks, I gotta head back to the fields and do some work, as well as deal with some other pressing issues. Like whether Tamala Edwards (Channel 6 Philadelphia news) and Lark Voorhies are the same person.
Mmmmmm.
Monday, June 05, 2006
The Field-Negroes Racism Quiz
Folks consider this post a self improvement exercise from the field-negro. Yes, it's the Oprahization[sic] of the field-Negro's blog. I am going to give you a little pop quiz to help you realize if you are a racist or to help you recognize racism when you see it.
This is necessary because black folks are always crying racism, and white folks are always saying that they are not. Now this is no ordinary quiz, it comes from years of experience as a field-negro, and extensive interviews conducted with my black and white friends. (Honest white folks by the way, who are not afraid to tell the field-negro how they really feel)
Ok, here goes. And no peeking at the answers.
1. You - a black person- are invited to a picnic being thrown by some white co-workers to celebrate your birthday. As you enter the picnic area, displayed prominently on the main picnic table, are rows and rows of fresh juicy watermelons. Your white co workers are racist. True or False.
2. You- a black female- are sitting behind your desk at your very corporate job, when a white co-worker comes behind you and starts rubbing the top of your head. They then declare; I just love how that feels. This co-worker is a racist. True or False.
3. You -a black person- are at a party with all white people when the DJ starts playing some old Prince tunes. The white party goers all turn to you and ask you to bust a move. They are racist. True or False.
4. You -a black person- are asked to show your ID by the cashier after making a purchase with your American Express gold card. The cashier is a racist. True or False.
5. You-a black person- approach an elderly couple sitting in their car waiting on the light to change. As you get closer you notice that they lock their car doors. They are racist. True or False.
6. You-a black person- are sitting on a plane and bored out of your mind. The white passenger sitting next to you--- in an attempt to be accommodating offers you the sports section of his "USA Today". He is a racist. True or False.
7. You- a black person- are sitting at the light in your brand new Chrysler 3000, when a young white boy pulls up next to you; his tape blasting a rap song with the word n****r in every sentence. This white boy is a racist. True or False.
8. A white person is watching the NBA finals, and he is secretly wishing that there could be just a few more white starters on each team. This white person is a racist. True or False.
9. A white person notices that the for sale sign on his white neighbor's lawn is gone. He goes outside to check it out, and see an older black lady with about seven young black males unloading furniture from the back of a pick up truck. She explains to him that these are her seven grandsons, and that thanks to a section 8 grant, she will be moving in right next to him. He immediately heads inside to contact your real estate agent. This white person is a racist. True or false.
10. A white person subscribes to the 12% rule. If he attends any public venue and more than 12% of the people there are black; he immediately make plans to leave. This white person is a racist. True or False.
Answers:
1. FALSE: White people love watermelons too. Don't be so sensitive. Now if someone at the picnic had said: "Hey look it's field-negro, look at the nice watermelons we got you field-negro, help yourself." Well, that person would have been racist.
2. TRUE: Not only is this co-worker racist, they are dumb too. Actions like that can lead to an ass kicking. NEVER EVER touch a black female's hair without permission. Heck, her man or husband can't touch her hair without her permission.
3. FALSE: So they think you can dance because you are black, that's no big deal. Being able to dance is a good thing. (Now shuffling, that's a different story)
4. FALSE: If the cashier asked the white person in front of you for ID too. TRUE: If they did not
(That was a freebie question, you can have no wrong answer here)
5. FALSE: Those old white people aren't racist, they are just smart.
6. TRUE: Big time racist. He assumes that all black people want to read about is sports. Why didn't he give you the business page?
7. FALSE: If you have a problem with young white boys vibing to rap songs with the word n****r in it, get on the black rappers who write the lyrics.
8. FALSE: You best believe I wish like hell there were more brothers starting in the NHL. And unless it's a Philly team, I always cheer for the team with the most brothers. So I can't knock the white guy for doing the same thing. He cheered for Bird, I cheered for Magic. No harm no foul.
9. FALSE: Seven young males, and a grandmother! Heck; I don't care if they are black, white, yellow, or brown. I would have been calling my real estate agent too.
10. TRUE: That was a give away question just in case the quiz is too tough for you.
So how did you do? If you got between 8-10 right you are a race expert.
Jessie should call you first before he makes a move.
If you got between 5-8 right keep working on it you are getting there.
If you got 3-5 right you might have some issues. This blog should be required reading for you on a daily basis.
And if you got less than 3 right; well, there is always the republican party. (I kid, I kid)
This is necessary because black folks are always crying racism, and white folks are always saying that they are not. Now this is no ordinary quiz, it comes from years of experience as a field-negro, and extensive interviews conducted with my black and white friends. (Honest white folks by the way, who are not afraid to tell the field-negro how they really feel)
Ok, here goes. And no peeking at the answers.
1. You - a black person- are invited to a picnic being thrown by some white co-workers to celebrate your birthday. As you enter the picnic area, displayed prominently on the main picnic table, are rows and rows of fresh juicy watermelons. Your white co workers are racist. True or False.
2. You- a black female- are sitting behind your desk at your very corporate job, when a white co-worker comes behind you and starts rubbing the top of your head. They then declare; I just love how that feels. This co-worker is a racist. True or False.
3. You -a black person- are at a party with all white people when the DJ starts playing some old Prince tunes. The white party goers all turn to you and ask you to bust a move. They are racist. True or False.
4. You -a black person- are asked to show your ID by the cashier after making a purchase with your American Express gold card. The cashier is a racist. True or False.
5. You-a black person- approach an elderly couple sitting in their car waiting on the light to change. As you get closer you notice that they lock their car doors. They are racist. True or False.
6. You-a black person- are sitting on a plane and bored out of your mind. The white passenger sitting next to you--- in an attempt to be accommodating offers you the sports section of his "USA Today". He is a racist. True or False.
7. You- a black person- are sitting at the light in your brand new Chrysler 3000, when a young white boy pulls up next to you; his tape blasting a rap song with the word n****r in every sentence. This white boy is a racist. True or False.
8. A white person is watching the NBA finals, and he is secretly wishing that there could be just a few more white starters on each team. This white person is a racist. True or False.
9. A white person notices that the for sale sign on his white neighbor's lawn is gone. He goes outside to check it out, and see an older black lady with about seven young black males unloading furniture from the back of a pick up truck. She explains to him that these are her seven grandsons, and that thanks to a section 8 grant, she will be moving in right next to him. He immediately heads inside to contact your real estate agent. This white person is a racist. True or false.
10. A white person subscribes to the 12% rule. If he attends any public venue and more than 12% of the people there are black; he immediately make plans to leave. This white person is a racist. True or False.
Answers:
1. FALSE: White people love watermelons too. Don't be so sensitive. Now if someone at the picnic had said: "Hey look it's field-negro, look at the nice watermelons we got you field-negro, help yourself." Well, that person would have been racist.
2. TRUE: Not only is this co-worker racist, they are dumb too. Actions like that can lead to an ass kicking. NEVER EVER touch a black female's hair without permission. Heck, her man or husband can't touch her hair without her permission.
3. FALSE: So they think you can dance because you are black, that's no big deal. Being able to dance is a good thing. (Now shuffling, that's a different story)
4. FALSE: If the cashier asked the white person in front of you for ID too. TRUE: If they did not
(That was a freebie question, you can have no wrong answer here)
5. FALSE: Those old white people aren't racist, they are just smart.
6. TRUE: Big time racist. He assumes that all black people want to read about is sports. Why didn't he give you the business page?
7. FALSE: If you have a problem with young white boys vibing to rap songs with the word n****r in it, get on the black rappers who write the lyrics.
8. FALSE: You best believe I wish like hell there were more brothers starting in the NHL. And unless it's a Philly team, I always cheer for the team with the most brothers. So I can't knock the white guy for doing the same thing. He cheered for Bird, I cheered for Magic. No harm no foul.
9. FALSE: Seven young males, and a grandmother! Heck; I don't care if they are black, white, yellow, or brown. I would have been calling my real estate agent too.
10. TRUE: That was a give away question just in case the quiz is too tough for you.
So how did you do? If you got between 8-10 right you are a race expert.
Jessie should call you first before he makes a move.
If you got between 5-8 right keep working on it you are getting there.
If you got 3-5 right you might have some issues. This blog should be required reading for you on a daily basis.
And if you got less than 3 right; well, there is always the republican party. (I kid, I kid)
Sunday, June 04, 2006
He Talk Like An Idiot
Joseph Phillips, -Bill Cosby's T.V. son-in-law Martin- recently wrote a book titled "He Talk Like A White Boy." Unfortunately, I must take issue with some of the things he had to say. Now I have no problem with Mr. Phillips trying to make some money, this is America, and believe me, writing a book aimed at a conservative audience by bashing his own people, will no doubt make him some serious chedder. It works every time. Just ask conservative race pimps like Thomas Sowell, and Walter Williams.
I also have an issue with Mr. Phillips trying to ride on the coat tails of the Cos. He is writing about an issue that we as a people already know exists, and one that the Cos himself has spoken about on numerous occasions.
Nevertheless, I will try to analyze Mr. Phillip's book for you: In one of the book's opening anecdotes; Mr. Phillips makes a comment in an accelerated English class, and a black student says; "He talk like a white boy!" Phillips said he thought to himself, "What does that mean?" He then explains that instead of chastising the girl or dealing with the substance of the remark, the teacher merely corrected the girl's grammer. "No LaQueesha, Joseph speaks like a white boy" That, says Phillips, was the beginning of his life. Apparently, this incident with LaQueesha -who by the way I have serious doubts as to whether this was the girl's actual name. Too perfect, too sterotypical- so traumatized the young Joseph that it would shape his thinking and the very way he views the race problem and societies ills in America. It, in essence, turned him to conservatisim.- Or that's what he would want us to believe- Then, he goes right into the tired old black conservative victim line. He claims that he has received many angry e-mails from blacks labeling him a sellout etc. but he just keeps plugging along. Poor Joseph, he is so misunderstood, and to think, it started when he was a youngster just trying to speak properly.
As I wrote in another blog; black people will see right through this crap. Too many of us grew up understanding that speaking properly (NOT WHITE) and mastering the King's English was an important part of learning. And the thought of teasing someone because they spoke properly never even entered our minds. I still remember my sister and I being teased for our Jamaican accents by our peers when we first moved to this country. It wasn't necessarily a bad thing, and we didn't take it that way. Kids have been teased for a lot worse; the way they dress, where they live, you name it. The truth is, kids react to things that are different and kids say dumb things. So those kids weren't discouraging my sister and I from learning, or putting any social pressure on us because we had funny accents. (Heck, according to some of my friends, I still have a funny accent) They were merely expressing the fact that we spoke different than the other kids around us. Which might have been the case with Mr. Phillips. The fact that LaQueesha said "a white boy" just shows that her frame of reference might have been limited. If Joseph had a Spanish accent, she might have said; he talk like a Spanish boy, so what? Anyway, for the sake of this argument, I am going to give Mr. Phillips the benefit of the doubt, and assume that LaQueesha meant it as a bad thing, even though Mr. Phillips just happened to be speaking properly.
The truth of the matter is; there is still a lot of ignorance in our communities, because sadly, poverty and ignorance often go hand in hand. Also, the negative influences our children face when it comes to learning is a problem, we all recognize that. But is this particular problem worthy of a two hundred plus page book? I don't think so. The only people that want this book are conservative whites. It offers a little salve for their souls, reinforcement from one of their ideological soulmates to let them know that they are on the right side of the debate. To them, here is this wonderful black man with a similar political philosophy, and just because he talks like them, he is being vilified by his people. It's the "Tyranny of Opinion" according to Mr. Phillips. Black cultural gate keepers watching how you speak so that you don't stray too far from the script. Has he ever thought that it's not so much how he talks but what he says that bothered LaQueesha? What if LaQueesha and Joseph were previously listening to some Earth Wind & Fire tapes, and Joseph said something like;" Hey don't you have some Nirvana we can listen to?" See, that's not talking like a white boy, that's thinking like a white boy, regardless of how he said it. That could have been LaQueesha's problem with Joseph all along. Joseph wants to be a white boy. If some white "red neck" in Kentucky were to say; dem der negroes be comin dawn her en causing all serts of problems fer us. How would we classify that? I mean, he is a white boy, is he talking like a white boy, or just like a white red neck? And if he attempted to speak properly, would other red necks now say; he talk like one of dem der Yankees? I don't know, it's just a thought. For instance, when little white kids in the burbs imitate their favorite rap stars and start fe shizzeling their parents, is that a good thing? Should the parents now say; Johhny, you talk like an inner city black boy, you stop it this minute! Or should they say, our Johnny sure talks like a black boy how cute, it's so nice to know that little Johhny is street smart. See how crazy this stuff can get? We can go in all different directions with this one. Which is why Mr. Phillip's book and the interest it is drawing is so perplexing to me.
The truth is, I don't have all the answers to the question of the added pressure peers but on each other when it comes to learning. But Joseph Phillips has taken a universal problem and made it just a black one, when we all know that it's a lot more complicated than that. It's a problem that touches peer pressure, societal expectations, and proper role models for our children. Yes we do have problems in the black community with this issue, because we too often dumb down expectations, and exalt in ignorance. But that is something we should be working on with our community groups, schools, and local politicians. Not writing books for our conservative brethren so that they can continue to pass judgment about us. Judgments, by the way, that they are all more than willing to accept as gospel.
Mr. Phillips I am going to suggest that you try to work on your acting, because you obviously have a lot of free time on your hands. I have seen your work, so acting might not pay you as much as this does. But I bet you will sleep better at nights.
Thursday, June 01, 2006
Random Thoughts From The Field-Negro
OK it's the end of the week, and I need to get my dome shaved.
I do what any self respecting field- negro would do, and make a move to see my man the barber.
As I kick back in the barber's chair, enjoying the feel of shaving cream on my face, I start to wonder about some things.......
For instance, I was wondering, why so many elected black leaders let us down? I am specifically referring to one William Jefferson, a democratic congressman from Louisiana. Even if what is alleged isn't true. ($90,000.00 literally in cold hard cash found in his refrigerator, supposedly taken from a bribe) The man's actions during Katrina was enough to call for his resignation. What he did, (ordering the guards to go and secure his own home in uptown New Orleans while the rest of the city was under water) should have been enough for him to step down from his position. But of course, he did not, because like so many who are drunk with power and greed (see my previous post about Tom Delay) he chose to stay. Now I am willing to bet $90,000.00 that he wishes he hadn't. Mmmmm, I wonder what my favorite Louisiana blog, "we saw that" will have to say about this one?
I was wondering, who the f**k is Simon Crowell? How dare you rip Prince for not speaking to anyone during his American Idol performance. Hey Simon, field-negro says the "Purple one" has earned that right. He made me dance in the fields to jacks like "1999," "Pop life," and, his most underated tune ever; " I could never take the place of your man" When you can churn out tunes like that Simon, then get back to me with your criticisms of the "Purple one".
I was wondering, why are we wasting time and money looking for Jimmy Hoffa?
I was wondering, if I should give Angelina Jolie honorary field-negro status and I think I will.
Hey, she deserves it. She has done quite a lot of work for children in Africa, she also went to the motherland to have her baby, and she pretty much walks the walk on a daily basis. So all of you Angelina haters fall back. Girlfriend keeps it one hundred percent, which is more than I can say for many of our own black celebrities.
Just a thought, why are black conservatives so defensive? I know it's hard being a minority among minorities. But you get so much love from the majority population--- even though you have zero influence over the black populace, that you should be enjoying the ride. You should not become defensive and play the victim card every time someone calls you out on an ideological point. We don't think you are all Uncle Toms, house negroes, or oreos. (Just maybe 99% of you; just kidding) And many of you actually mean well. It's just that some of your ideas for fixing the plight of black folks here in 2006 happens to be a bit off, not to mention unrealistic. But keep plugging away at it in the grand old party; hopefully, they will give you a seat at the table one day. I firmly believe that all black folks shouldn't be lumped together in one politrickal party, and at least you offer an alternative.
Here is another thought, why can't there be a Martin Luther King drive, street, or boulevard going through the white part of anytown U.S.A. ?
I was wondering, have you ever seen an Asian bum?
I was wondering, why did ABC News kick Susan Vargas from the anchor chair and give us that lame ass Charlie Gibson?
I was wondering, why is it that when a young white girl is tragically killed, it's wall to wall news? Especially on Fox. Now it's the Clemson coed found dead in her apartment. I feel for her and her family, but... let's just say there are killings in the hood every day, and guess what, they aint gonna be on Fox or CNN anytime soon. Because like "Doughboy" said; "Nobody cares what happens in the hood."
Speaking of Fox, I was wondering, why doesn't the FCC prevent them from calling themselves Fox News? It should be Fox entertainment. News is supposed to be fair and unbiased, not a mouthpiece for one politrickal party over another.
I was wondering, why is it that when a white celebrity has a bunch of hangers on around they are called an entorouge? But when a black celebrity has a bunch of of his boys around him they are called a posse?
I was wondering, why the heck did Katie Couric take so long to say goodbye? Ok we get it, you are leaving, please go already! Heck, you are just going down the dial any damn way, so go!
I was wondering, why do white sportscasters always refer to white ball players as smart, and tenacious? While the black players are always referred to as athletic and instinctive?
Just wondering, why was there a statue of a fictional boxer (Rocky) in front the Spectrum in Philadelphia, when one of the greatest heavyweight fighters of all time (Joe Frazier) is from right there, and there are no statues of him anywhere? Mmmmmm.
I was wondering, now that Barry has caught and passed the Babe, will he finally hang it up? I say he should, if only to piss off his detractors.
I was wondering, why is there no outcry over the fact that Knick's coach Larry Brown could earn as much as 40 million dollars for one years work? (If the Knicks buy out his contract) Yet people scream about how over paid athletes are. Could it be because an old white man is supposed to have a lot of money, but some young black guy is not? Oh, and just an update on Larry Brown: He just recently referred to himself as "a dead man walking." No Larry, it's more like a rich old white man walking.
Just a thought; but why did Roger Clemens decide to come back now? Yep, I have heard the whispers too. Now I am not saying he was on the juice, but I am curious, would roids effect a pitcher's performance just like it allegedly does a hitter's?
That's it from the field-negro folks, my man has hooked up my dome and I am heading back to the fields.
Thanks Mr. Barber, I will see you next time.