Condi, we need to talk.

While we enjoy the guts and athleticism of our swimmers in the Olympics, and we obsess over where the Breck Boy is sticking his johnson; the world, as we know it, is going to hell in a freaking hand basket.

Many of you poo pooed my recent post about my Condi jones, and you said that I was being flip about my desire to...well, swing an episode with her. But imagine if Mrs. Field had given me permission, and I had been allowed to...well, get to know her better.

Can you imagine the opportunity your humble field Negro would have had to influence world affairs? While pillow talking with Condi , for instance, I would have had an opportunity to give her my humble opinion about her boss and what a colossal fuck up he has been.

For instance, now that the Russians have destroyed the A-merry-can trained Georgian army, and pretty much pimp slapped that entire country, has it ever occurred to your boss that none of this would have happened if the neocons in his administration had kept their damn ambitions in check? While they were busy planning their grand scheme to conquer the Middle East, they forgot that a former *KGB(thanks ac.nerd) agent was leading an increasingly more powerful and proud mother Russia into a new century.

So now our military is tied down in Iraq and Afghanistan, and all the frat boy can do is plead with Putin to pull back his troops. Too late, the red army is hell bent on putting an ass whopping on President Saakashvili's troops, and they will not stop until there is total humiliation, surrender, and regime change. You know Condi, kind of like what we did in Iraq. But field, this is different, this was a sovereign nation with a democratically elected leader. Really? But so was Iraq. And although their leader wasn't "democratically elected", quite a large segment of their population was fine with the job he was doing. Besides, I thought we went into Iraq to prevent them from attacking us with WMD's?

And didn't the Russians go into Georgia because the Georgians attacked one of their states (South Ossetia) which wanted to align themselves with Russia? Don't most of those people in that state consider themselves Russians? If that's the case, couldn't we argue, that Putin, in essence, was coming to the defense of his own people?

So what are we going to do now? The Russians have flexed their muscles, and all we can do is watch. Oh your boss, the frat boy, will make his usual pronouncements condemning what the Russians did; but so what? Putin will just continue doing what he has been doing for the past few days: shaking his dick at us, and giving us his ass to kiss. (Still think you can see into his soul now frat boy?) Putin might be a lot of things, but he isn't stupid.

And Condi, I hear that you yourself had a heated phone conversation with the Russian Foreign Minister, Sergei Lavrov, after he told you that the Georgian President must go. Then the Russian Ambassador, Vitaly Churkin, said this to our Ambassador: "I'd like to say straightaway that regime change is an American expression....We do not use such expression". See what a mess the frat boy put you in Condi? See how he tied your hand? You can't even do your job anymore. And to think you have a doctorate in this shit.

"Russia has invaded a sovereign neighboring state and threatens a democratic government elected by its people. Such an action is unacceptable in the 21st century.. The Russian government must reverse the course it appears to be on and accept this peace agreement as a first step toward solving this conflict,..."

Yeah whatever frat boy. And somewhere down in a very hot place called hell, a man with a thick mustache and a funny beret is laughing his ass off.