Friday, July 03, 2015

When "honey do" lists become much more.

For those of you who don't know your history, please understand that the Negro slave in Louisiana suffered just as much (if not more) than the slave in places like Alabama and Mississippi who were picking cotton. I know that there is this misconception that they were treated better because of the French codes which originally governed their owners and such, but don't believe it. Planting that sugar cane in the brutal Louisiana heat and humidity was no joke.

Anywhoo, I am saying all this to explain what I have been going through for the past couple of days.
That not unlike this poor brother in the pic above, I have been put on some serious housework detail.

You see, my lovely wife happens to be from the aforementioned Louisiana, and she takes this honey do list thing to a whole different level. She happens to be a descendant of those Louisiana slaves, and girlfriend is no joke when it comes to putting in hard work.

We happen to be preparing for guests for the 4th of July holiday, and it's time to get chez Field in order. I ask her why we can't just pay people to come in and get things in order, but she is having none of it.

"See Wayne, that's your problem, you grew up with helpers all around you like the Fresh Prince, so you don't appreciate the importance of hard work". Putting on a suit and talking all day is not hard work."

First of all, not true. The Mrs. visited my family in Jamaica when we were still dating and she remembers our helpers around the house who waited on her hand and foot. But if you understand anything about Third World life and living in Jamaica, you know that having helpers around the home is not a big deal. Most folks living even a middle class existence in Jamaica can afford to have a helper because help is so cheap.

The poor Mrs. mistook me for someone raised in a  life of privilege, and it has been ingrained in her way of thinking ever since. Now, as a result, she has been determined to break me like Master Waller did Toby.

"Sorry Wayne, I grew up with hard work.  My parents expected us to work, just because we can afford to get help doesn't mean that it's good for us."

Ok I admit that I am from the Maroon stock, and if we are going to be honest, my ancestors would have rather fought than work on the plantation.

Not Mrs. Field, girlfriend is from a long line of hard working Louisiana folks, and her ancestors worked on those sugar plantations.

"I sure hope your little man cave is clean, I am going to do a full inspection later."

So a couple of hours later she is going all Full Metal Jacket on me and giving me the Sergeant Hartman treatment.  "Boy you call this clean? Give me that duster."  The only thing worse than doing all this work around the house is failing at it and having to watch Drill Sergeant Field work me over like a new recruit.

"Hey honey, can you get some mulch out of the garage and put it in the flower bed under the tree out front?"

This is not good.

But then, like a gift from above, one of my boys must have felt what I was going through and comes to my rescue.

"I hear your cell phone? Tell your boys no tennis today; you have work to do."

Nobody knows the trouble I've seen  Nobody knows my sorrow....

*The pic with this post is from theguardian.com, and it is another poor brother (not the Field)  putting in work. Under the watchful eye, I am sure, of a similarly terrifying boss.  

**Photo by  Graeme Robertson







 

32 comments:

  1. Interesting.

    My heritage is a mixture of Maroon and Red-Leg.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Anonymous7:16 PM

    "The poor Mrs. mistook me for someone raised in a life of privilege, and it has been ingrained in her way of thinking ever since. Now, as a result, she has been determined to break me like Master Waller did Toby."

    Field, you should have married a ww. It's not to late to get a divorce before she breaks you!

    What the hell were you thinking when you married her? By now you ought to know the coast is never clear with a bw in your life.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Anonymous7:17 PM

    My heritage is a mixture of Maroon and Red-Leg.

    6:57 PM
    -------------
    What the hell is Maroon and Red-leg?

    ReplyDelete

  4. The FieldNegro said...
    that's your problem, you grew up with helpers all around you like the Fresh Prince


    It's one thing when a troll points out your privilege...


    mistook me for someone raised in a life of privilege

    Boarding school?

    Raised in the house, but field certified.

    ReplyDelete
  5. Yisheng10:09 PM

    ROTFL @ Field!!!!

    ReplyDelete
  6. Anonymous10:30 PM

    Yisheng, you laugh at the strangest things. There is nothing funny about this post.

    Why do you laugh at another person's suffering?

    ReplyDelete
  7. Anonymous10:57 PM

    Field, I was wondering if I could stop by this 4th July?

    ReplyDelete
  8. PoopAvenger11:33 PM

    All I hear from white people (men especially) is: WHINE WHINE WHINE WHINE WHINE WHINE WHINE
    Just stop already. It's old, tired and boring.

    ReplyDelete
  9. Anonymous11:47 PM

    PoopAvenger, STFU. Go wrap yourself in the Confederate flag tomorrow.

    ReplyDelete
  10. Anonymous12:24 AM

    That's a nice picture of you Field, I see you puttin in work!

    ReplyDelete
  11. Anonymous12:27 AM

    Purple sow, did you say you were mixed with a red link sausage, or are you related to this little guy: https://encrypted-tbn3.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcSz1hnTsMVzoKljNsX1k8yMoaSZ6MeFOqdSBRYRIpahB5TRDBBg

    ReplyDelete
  12. Anonymous1:21 AM

    "That's a nice picture of you Field, I see you puttin in work!"

    That's not Field.

    It's Hugh Muir, a columnist for the Guardian, a newspaper based in the UK (but now expanded to cover the US and Australia as well).

    ReplyDelete
  13. Anonymous1:55 AM

    "What the hell is Maroon and Red-leg?"

    "Redleg" is the Caribbean equivalent of "redneck": historically, a poor white person.

    Lots of them are ethnically Irish, a group the English regarded as almost as lowly as blacks and persecuted the hell out of. Their ancestors often ended up in the Caribbean due to "debt slavery." (Similarly in the U.S. and Australia.)

    Maroons were escaped slaves who formed small self-governing black societies in areas not under white rule (usually areas that were undesirable for colonization for some reason).

    FYI, Florida is part of the U.S. partly due to Maroons. Florida was nominally a Spanish colony, but Spain didn't really bother to develop or govern the territory because it was mostly swamp unsuitable for productive farming. This made it a prime destination for runaway slaves -- it was certainly easier to get there from the Deep South than trying to make it all the way up north across the Mason-Dixon line.

    Between the slaves escaping there and the pirates and other criminals who also liked to operate out of this lawless area, you can imagine that the rulers of the South quickly became very angry with their next-door neighbor. Secretary of State John Quincy Adams referred to Florida as "a derelict open to the occupancy of every enemy, civilized or savage, of the United States, and serving no other earthly purpose than as a post of annoyance to them."

    Ultimately, the U.S. government demanded that the Spanish either start governing Florida, or else hand the territory over to become part of the U.S. Spain picked the second option and Florida was annexed into the U.S. in 1821.

    ReplyDelete
  14. Anonymous7:06 AM

    The Purple Cow said...

    Interesting.

    My heritage is a mixture of Maroon and Red-Leg.



    We know that, we always said you were a blithering Maroon.

    As for the red leg part, use larger tampons..Sally.

    ReplyDelete
  15. The person in the pic, as the anon above accurately pointed out and I pointed out in the post, is not me. And from reading the article it does not seem that Mr. Muir is as bothered by the housework as much as I am.

    Let's get this right folks, I am already being hounded for $ by some photographer whose photo I used back in 2013.

    I took it down and acknowledged the error as soon as I was notified, but still with the lawyers.

    Anon @10:57, you are welcome to come by.

    Just don't come too late. I have a serious tennis game in the morning that I have t get up for. :)



    ReplyDelete
  16. SFNorCal9:55 AM

    Blacks are too accepting of mediocrity.

    ReplyDelete

  17. field negro said...
    Let's get this right folks, I am already being hounded for $ by some photographer whose photo I used back in 2013.

    I took it down and acknowledged the error as soon as I was notified, but still with the lawyers.



    Why not just pay for using the photo?

    If someone used my music without my permission I would want to be paid.

    It only sounds fair.

    ReplyDelete
  18. You play tennis? I should have brought my racket. Anyhoo here in Philly hanging out and damn there are some fine women.
    Uh, why is the Mrs allowed in the man cave? No girls allowed!

    ReplyDelete
  19. Field, you don't talk much about your personal life but when you do it's amusing.

    Maroon stock, eh? By coincidence a brother (I have one black friend!!) last week recommended this vid called "El Cimmaron" by, of all things, an avant-garde German composer who went to Cuba and got inspired.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ulj-GNI9CQA

    If you don't like the music check out the story—of Esteban Montejo, an ex-slave who lived to be 105! Worked in the cane fields, fought as a revolutionary, lived through it all.

    https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Esteban_Montejo

    That music/narrative is also available on YouTube in French and German...

    ReplyDelete
  20. You know who12:48 PM

    Whites are too accepting of mediocrity.


    There

    ReplyDelete
  21. Go Pack Go2:28 PM

    Too many retards here for my liking. I'm out, losers.

    ReplyDelete
  22. @2:28, GREAT now GTFOH with your caper nuts!

    DQAE

    ReplyDelete
  23. Anonymous3:30 PM

    What a bunch of maroons!

    ReplyDelete
  24. ""Redleg" is the Caribbean equivalent of "redneck": historically, a poor white person. Lots of them are ethnically Irish, a group the English regarded as almost as lowly as blacks and persecuted the hell out of. Their ancestors often ended up in the Caribbean due to "debt slavery." (Similarly in the U.S. and Australia.)"

    It's a bit of a simplification to say many of them were Irish, and that the Irish were treated unduly badly. The Red Legs were basically poor white people, most of whom came to the Caribbean as indentured servants, and they were as likely to be English as anything else. They were ALL treated badly, the Irish no more so than the working class English. It was class prejudice as more than it was ethnic prejudice.

    I have more English, Basque and Portuguese DNA, than I have Irish - as well as the required Yoruba and Mande, of course.

    ReplyDelete
  25. No Pack No4:51 PM

    Too many retards here for my liking. I'm out, losers.
    ----------------------------
    And suddenly there were no retards as soon as that asshole left. Funny that.

    ReplyDelete
  26. Josh and Yisheng make stupid dirty ghetto children6:05 PM

    Serious question: Why are blacks allowed to be racist?

    ReplyDelete
  27. McFred6:22 PM

    If you look up "cunt" in the dictionary, you'll find Yisheng's ugly mug.

    ReplyDelete
  28. Anonymous7:16 PM

    "They were ALL treated badly, the Irish no more so than the working class English. It was class prejudice as more than it was ethnic prejudice."

    I was referring to the Irish being treated uniquely badly back in their own country, not so much as being treated worse than other indentured laborers in the Caribbean.

    I don't think there's much doubt that the English treated the Irish worse than they did their own population (somewhat comparable to US Jim Crow, actually -- denial of political rights, inability to own property resulting in sharecropping, etc). There's a reason why there was such a massive diaspora of the Irish population all over the world (both voluntary and forced).

    In other words, indentured servitude was the result of poverty and affected all poor people the same, but Irish people were more likely to be IN poverty in the first place as a result of discrimination.

    As to the composition of indentured servants in the Caribbean, I'll defer to your knowledge, but I was under the impression that a high percentage of the convict labor there was of Irish ancestry, just as in the early U.S. and Australia.

    ReplyDelete
  29. @6:22, the word cunt is as close as you'll ever get to the real thing, asparagus d**k.

    But then pubescent boys are your true preferences, aren't they?
    DQAE

    ReplyDelete
  30. Anonymous9:24 PM

    Anonymous DQAE said...

    @6:22, the word cunt is as close as you'll ever get to the real thing, asparagus d**k.

    But then pubescent boys are your true preferences, aren't they?
    DQAE

    You'll never get a white man you're a she-boon.

    ReplyDelete
  31. Anonymous10:49 PM

    "You'll never get a white man you're a she-boon."

    No one wants a white man, they all have little dicks!!!

    ReplyDelete
  32. Anonymous10:52 PM

    The Purple Cow said...

    Interesting.

    My heritage is a mixture of Maroon and Red-Leg.

    Did you say you were part moron, and part jack-leg?

    ReplyDelete