"And you, systematic Utopians, who make an abstraction of human nature, fomentors of atheism, fed on chimerae and hatreds, emancipators of woman, destroyers of the family, genealogists of the simian race, you whose name was but lately an outrage, be satisfied: you shall have been the prophets, and your disciples will be the high-priests of an abominable future!"
With as much authenticity as he can possibly display, Sen. Bernie says... "The change that's coming when I'm president will be everything you hope for and rightly deserve."
Bernie to woman: Listen, I know I'm a little on the older side but look at it this way,my experience.....oooohhh I'm so dizzy,I'm gonna faint...get my pressure pills...no...get my heart pills...no my bone pills...no my cholesterol pills...no my pacemaker...no my Nexium...oooh it musta been the Viag...um never mind! I'll just hold on to your strong black woman shoulders mkay, till either you or I drop!
Bernie: Don't panic okay! But I think I'm about to have a stroke! Reach into my left pocket,get my cell with my cardiologists number, and dial...FAST!!!!and the ambulance...damned Viagra!!!
Bernie: My campaign advisers have informed me that to get elected, I need to better understand the needs of the minority voter. For this reason, I would ask you to hold very still while I lean in and perform a procedure I learned from Mr. Spock on Star Trek, called the "Mind Meld."
Bernie: Can you feel the Bern energy running through you? Heal baby sister, heal! Yes, tell your folks what I did here for you and I need everybody's vote, sister....don't forget.
Listen little girl. I know you're thinking the grass is greener outside the plantation. Having the freedom to vote, think, act and feel on your own can be a scarey thing. Can you imagine going into a voting booth and having to think about who you are going to vote for? Isn't it easier to go in and automatically vote for whoever has the D beside their name? Can you imagine fliping the channel and watching Fox News? Isn't it easier having us tell you what to think about Fox News so you won't have to make your own decisions about Fox News? Its best you leave the think to us.
Listen little girl. I want you to come back to my office in a few minutes. There i will have my favorite website Cumbang on... We can watch it together and i will proceed to touch you in your special no-no places. From there i will show you what it's like to feel the BERN!!!!!!!!
Woman to Bernie: Why should I vote for you, Bernie?
Bernie to woman: Because Progressives know what is best for you black folks. Don't ask questions or look at the lack of results, just keep voting for the Democrats, Hun.
Can you imagine fliping the channel and watching Fox News? Isn't it easier having us tell you what to think about Fox News so you won't have to make your own decisions about Fox News? Its best you leave the think to us.
Woman: Hell no I won't watch Fox News, I prefer not to watch Republican propaganda from college dropouts like Sean Hannity. Teh stoopid is way too strong over there. I'm not against it though, stupid people need programs to watch.
Woman: Thank you so much for not stooping to stupid racist language about plantations and respecting my intelligence as a voter.
Bernie: I understand why you don't vote for Republicans who support confederate history month, praise the kkk and run states that are last in education, health and employment. As a Jewish man I can respect your view of the Republican Party. For you to vote for them would be like me voting for the nazi party. We like and respect reasoned voters like you and will never try to shame you into voting for me.
Woman: Thank you so much for for supporting stupid racist language of my people and making plantation life so enjoyable. You know my people lack intelligence and are the lowest information voters out there. So please make sure you keep the D on da ballots.
Bernie: I understand why you might vote Republican. The poorest, most violent, least educate areas in this country have majority blah populations and controlled by Democrats. And in these areas there are high rates of unemployment and incest. I promise you things will get better. I know you are thinking. Hilter was a socialist.So how can a jewish man be a socialist too? For you to vote for Republicans would be like voting for massa to put y'all back in chains.. We like our voters stupid for the cause so they will never try think and vote on they own.
Woman: I really hate racist Republicans because they say things like this: "Thank you so much for for supporting stupid racist language of my people and making plantation life so enjoyable. You know my people lack intelligence and are the lowest information voters out there. So please make sure you keep the D on da ballots." And then they have the nerve to wonder why I would never support their party. Let's not even mention the fact that their leading candidate is backed by several white supremacist organizations.
Bernie: As a Jewish man I understand your feelings and appreciate your intelligent and thoughtful participation. Too bad the other side doesn't see you as a fully informed and rational adult and only see you as inferior. It's sad isn't it?
Woman: Did you hear about the Republican lawmaker who praised the kkk? I saw it here, http://fusion.net/story/261615/georgia-lawmaker-praises-kkk-compares-opponents-of-the-confederacy-to-isis/
Bernie: Yeah, they are pretty racist huh? Too bad they don't even realize it.
Woman: Do white separatist organizations back you?
Bernie: Of course not, I'm not running as a Republican.
Oooooohhhhhh the scary kkk boogieman!!!!! Oh peese Bernase, protect us the gopeesklan. Cause dey be scarying mes. ---------------- Uh no asshole, no one is scared of the klan but don't expect me to vote for a party that wants to honor them. Typical conservative genius.
"I promise you, there is no one more committed than I to the State Religion of America, Negro Worship"
ReplyDelete"And you, systematic Utopians, who make an abstraction of human nature, fomentors of atheism, fed on chimerae and hatreds, emancipators of woman, destroyers of the family, genealogists of the simian race, you whose name was but lately an outrage, be satisfied: you shall have been the prophets, and your disciples will be the high-priests of an abominable future!"
ReplyDelete--Alfred de Falloux, De l'Unite Nationale, 1880
Bernie: Don't panic,just walk away quickly okay! There's a hijab wearing woman next to you with a back pack bag on!
ReplyDeleteBernie: I'm feeling dizzy, mind if I hold on?
ReplyDeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteWith as much authenticity as he can possibly display, Sen. Bernie says... "The change that's coming when I'm president will be everything you hope for and rightly deserve."
ReplyDeleteBernie to woman: Listen, I know I'm a little on the older side but look at it this way,my experience.....oooohhh I'm so dizzy,I'm gonna faint...get my pressure pills...no...get my heart pills...no my bone pills...no my cholesterol pills...no my pacemaker...no my Nexium...oooh it musta been the Viag...um never mind! I'll just hold on to your strong black woman shoulders mkay, till either you or I drop!
ReplyDeleteBernie: "look into my eyes!"
ReplyDelete(I just hope and pray my eyes look sincere as I tell her all these boocrap lies we politicos are wont to spout!)
Bernie: Don't panic okay! But I think I'm about to have a stroke! Reach into my left pocket,get my cell with my cardiologists number, and dial...FAST!!!!and the ambulance...damned Viagra!!!
ReplyDeleteBernie to woman: Do you remember if I said I was 98 yo or 88? Help me please!
ReplyDeleteBernie to woman: Can you tell me what I'm running for??? Please! Why am I here? Whats my name???
ReplyDeleteIs that my Depends leaking or am I sweatin' too much?
Woman: Hold up Sanders, what am I the magic negress or something? I'm still worrying 'bout the backpack standing next to me!
Woman screams: RUUUNN BERNIE RUUUUN!!!! and not for office either!!!!
Major LOL, Lila: You should be writing for Comedy Central :-)
ReplyDeleteBernie: My campaign advisers have informed me that to get elected, I need to better understand the needs of the minority voter. For this reason, I would ask you to hold very still while I lean in and perform a procedure I learned from Mr. Spock on Star Trek, called the "Mind Meld."
ReplyDelete
ReplyDeleteExcuse me, but do you have a lint brush?
I get it sister, Black Lives Do Matter. Trust me... I won't do you like Obama did you.
ReplyDeleteBernie: Can you feel the Bern energy running through you? Heal baby sister, heal! Yes, tell your folks what I did here for you and I need everybody's vote, sister....don't forget.
ReplyDeleteThank you for coming, Ms. Token. I'm going to need for you to stick close to me throughout the southern state primaries.
ReplyDeleteShizzle My Nizzle
ReplyDeleteDon't panic but there's a creepy lady trying to kiss you. When I say run, RUN!
ReplyDeletePX
Faith_and_Fairness said...
ReplyDeleteMajor LOL, Lila: You should be writing for Comedy Central :-)
11:04 PM
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Yeah, and those mfs are prolly stealing my jokes! xD
But um...no...they don't hire Puertoricans on there :) They be white with a couple of token Blacks thrown in for, you know, pc ;)
Shizzle my nizzle ... they told me to say that ... what is that? ... Yiddish? ...
ReplyDeleteListen little girl. I know you're thinking the grass is greener outside the plantation. Having the freedom to vote, think, act and feel on your own can be a scarey thing. Can you imagine going into a voting booth and having to think about who you are going to vote for? Isn't it easier to go in and automatically vote for whoever has the D beside their name? Can you imagine fliping the channel and watching Fox News? Isn't it easier having us tell you what to think about Fox News so you won't have to make your own decisions about Fox News? Its best you leave the think to us.
ReplyDeleteListen little girl. I want you to come back to my office in a few minutes. There i will have my favorite website Cumbang on... We can watch it together and i will proceed to touch you in your special no-no places. From there i will show you what it's like to feel the BERN!!!!!!!!
Woman to Bernie: Why should I vote for you, Bernie?
ReplyDeleteBernie to woman: Because Progressives know what is best for you black folks. Don't ask questions or look at the lack of results, just keep voting for the Democrats, Hun.
Republicans Bad. Democrats good.
Woman: Well truth be told, Senator I'm voting for Hillary because she...
ReplyDeleteBernie: You don't want to vote for Hillary.
Woman: Um, I don't want to vote for Hillary.
Bernie: You want to vote for me.
Woman: I want to vote for you.
Woman With Glasses behind her/Thought Bubble: Hmmm, the Force is strong with this one.
@Culturegeist, x*D
ReplyDeleteBut they're all good! Poor Bernie, he be feeling the BERN bad! ;)
Can you imagine fliping the channel and watching Fox News? Isn't it easier having us tell you what to think about Fox News so you won't have to make your own decisions about Fox News? Its best you leave the think to us.
ReplyDeleteWoman: Hell no I won't watch Fox News, I prefer not to watch Republican propaganda from college dropouts like Sean Hannity. Teh stoopid is way too strong over there. I'm not against it though, stupid people need programs to watch.
Ctrl...@11:12, and lilac@9:21.
ReplyDeleteWoman: Thank you so much for not stooping to stupid racist language about plantations and respecting my intelligence as a voter.
ReplyDeleteBernie: I understand why you don't vote for Republicans who support confederate history month, praise the kkk and run states that are last in education, health and employment. As a Jewish man I can respect your view of the Republican Party. For you to vote for them would be like me voting for the nazi party. We like and respect reasoned voters like you and will never try to shame you into voting for me.
Yaaay! So far Control and me winning! But the night is still young...
ReplyDeleteWoman: Thank you so much for for supporting stupid racist language of my people and making plantation life so enjoyable. You know my people lack intelligence and are the lowest information voters out there. So please make sure you keep the D on da ballots.
ReplyDeleteBernie: I understand why you might vote Republican. The poorest, most violent, least educate areas in this country have majority blah populations and controlled by Democrats. And in these areas there are high rates of unemployment and incest. I promise you things will get better. I know you are thinking. Hilter was a socialist.So how can a jewish man be a socialist too? For you to vote for Republicans would be like voting for massa to put y'all back in chains.. We like our voters stupid for the cause so they will never try think and vote on they own.
Woman: I really hate racist Republicans because they say things like this: "Thank you so much for for supporting stupid racist language of my people and making plantation life so enjoyable. You know my people lack intelligence and are the lowest information voters out there. So please make sure you keep the D on da ballots."
ReplyDeleteAnd then they have the nerve to wonder why I would never support their party. Let's not even mention the fact that their leading candidate is backed by several white supremacist organizations.
Bernie: As a Jewish man I understand your feelings and appreciate your intelligent and thoughtful participation. Too bad the other side doesn't see you as a fully informed and rational adult and only see you as inferior. It's sad isn't it?
Woman: Did you hear about the Republican lawmaker who praised the kkk? I saw it here,
ReplyDeletehttp://fusion.net/story/261615/georgia-lawmaker-praises-kkk-compares-opponents-of-the-confederacy-to-isis/
Bernie: Yeah, they are pretty racist huh? Too bad they don't even realize it.
Woman: Do white separatist organizations back you?
Bernie: Of course not, I'm not running as a Republican.
Woman: did you hear about this? http://www.cnn.com/videos/politics/2015/08/27/white-supremacists-donald-trump-lavandera-dnt-erin.cnn
ReplyDeleteBernie: Sad isn't it?
Woman: Is James Bold backing you?
Bernie: Of course not, I'm not running as a Republican.
Stop it PilotX.
ReplyDelete"We'll pay for all that shit by taking back the money the billionaires stole"
ReplyDelete
ReplyDeleteAnother Sandra bland, black youth arrested at 2:00am and found dead in isolation at 9:55am (Gynnya McMillen)in Kentucky
http://www.rawstory.com/2016/01/detention-staffer-used-martial-arts-hold-on-16-year-old-gynnya-mcmillen-before-she-was-found-dead-report/
"We'll pay for all that shit by taking back the money the billionaires earned"
ReplyDeleteThere.
Oooooohhhhhh the scary kkk boogieman!!!!! Oh peese Bernase, protect us the gopeesklan. Cause dey be scarying mes.
ReplyDelete"We'll pay for all that shit by taking back the money the billionaires stole"
ReplyDeleteThere, fixed it correctly.
Stop it PilotX.
ReplyDeleteNEVER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Oooooohhhhhh the scary kkk boogieman!!!!! Oh peese Bernase, protect us the gopeesklan. Cause dey be scarying mes.
ReplyDelete----------------
Uh no asshole, no one is scared of the klan but don't expect me to vote for a party that wants to honor them. Typical conservative genius.
"As my road manager already told you, Mrs. Johnson, it's $49.99 for a healing. This isn't charity work, I'm sorry."
ReplyDelete"Bern, I don't want to feel you and I don't want you to feel me. Now, Ted Cruz, mmmm...."
ReplyDelete
ReplyDelete"Feels tight?" "Okay, how about we let it out a little in here?"
The truth is I'm a university educated white rich privileged male; even when I say I'm on your side, I'm still the enemy.
ReplyDeletenow thats a good little pickininny..don't move while i look into your eyes for any sign of intelligence.
ReplyDeleteWow, some nasty comments.
ReplyDeleteField's thinking is wrong, period. But, it is also wrong to return his philosophy in kind!
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