TIMING

I had this friend once who wasn't the best looking guy in the world, but I swear he always had the most gorgeous women on his arms. When I finally asked him how he did it, he told me something that I will never forget: Field, he said, it's all about timing.

With women your timing always has to be right. You have to know what to say at the right time; when to call at the right time; and when the time is just right for that other thing. Life is all about timing.

So I was thinking about that dude when I saw the latest cover of Golf Digest Magazine. Clearly they don't get the concept of proper "timing" over there.

I am not a big conspiracy guy, but I couldn't blame the Obamaholics if they cry set up from "the man" on this one. I mean are you kidding me? Poor O man can't buy a break. Just being in a picture with Tiger these days has got to be toxic. I bet they saw that pic at the White House and said, NOOOOOO! And how about the heading:? "10 TIPS OBAMA CAN TAKE FROM TIGER". Ahhh no thanks Tiger, I think his O ness will pass on those tips right about now. Maybe later.

Oh field stop it, the Magazine went to press and they couldn't stop it. There is no conspiracy here to sell magazines or to make the president look bad. What did you want them to do, stop the presses and shoot an entirely different cover?

Well yes; that is exactly what I expected them to do. Of course....on second thought, maybe not. I think, in retrospect, I expected them to do exactly what they did.

*Pic courtesy of Sports Pros(e)

He loves the sinner not the sin.

Here in A-merry-ca Tigermania has reached what can only be described as surreal dimensions.

Over at the "fair and balanced" news channel their most popular personality is comparing him to O.J. Simpson. (That ought to keep the base fired up and watching for a few more days while the feeding frenzy goes into full gear.)

But tonight I am not going to talk about golfers who think that only blonds have more fun. Nope, tonight I want to talk about something far more important. You see, over in Africa, there is a country that is actually considering putting Gays to death for their lifestyle. ( Actually I think that there are other countries in Africa with similar draconian laws, but tonight I am going to post about one in particular.)

Yes folks, if seems that if you are queer in Uganda, the wages of your sin might soon be death.

I wonder where the Ugandans got that idea? Oh field, they have a lot of AIDS in Africa, maybe they associate AIDS with the Gay lifestyle and it's a public health issue. Nope not buying that. -There are much more serious factors causing the spread of AIDS in Africa- No, I think I know the real reason that the Ugandans were inspired to want to kill the queers.

My friends, it seems that our missionary friends have been busy spreading the gospel and christian values to the "dark continent"

"Critics have called the Anti Homosexuality Bill due to come before "Purpose Driven" Uganda's parliament in early 2010 a "kill the gays bill." As detailed in a new report from a religious right watchdog group, networks tied [1, 2,3] to Rick Warren's mentor and doctoral dissertation advisor have played a major role in organizing and inspiring Ugandan legislators who have spearheaded the legislation, which would mandate the death penalty for homosexual acts.Homosexuality is already legally a crime in Uganda that can lead to lifetime prison sentences, but the new bill would require the death penalty for something termed "aggravated homosexuality" and might even lead to the execution of HIV positive Ugandan citizens. Rick Warren has refused to denounce the new bill."

Well color me shocked! You mean the same Rick Warren whose purpose driven life led him to court the most powerful men in A-merry-ca? That Rick Warren? That sweet caring soul? Nooooo, I don't believe it. I wonder if he is a member of "The Family"? Folks, if you are not up on "The Family", you had better start getting up to speed really fast; especially if you are a secular/agnostic/progressive, like moi.

Oh well, I guess Rick and his pals have to start somewhere. Maybe if they kill enough of those queers in Africa they will get the message around to the rest of the world and those queers will change their evil ways.

They can do it the easy way, or they can do it the hard way. I am sure Rick and his friends would much prefer the easy way. That just seems more like the christian way to go.

The whites would like to trade their number one pick in the "Race Draft". Any takers?

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"I am going to blog about this Tiger mess again, and then I am going to leave it alone"

I can't believe that I previously wrote that. What was I thinking? Like A-merry-ca is going to let me leave this story alone. Our collective prurient interest is too strong. Throw in the racial angle and we can't drive past the train wreck just yet.

It didn't take long did it? But now A-merry-ca is reminding Tiger's black ass that he is black again. (I was wondering when I was going to get a chance to post that *pic ArtMaggot sent me a few days ago. Well, as it turns out, I didn't have to wait long. Remember Dave Chappelle's joke about the "Race Draft"? I keep seeing it over and over in my head.) Leave it to Rush to say out loud what a bunch of folks from a certain segment of the population is thinking. Apparently Rush doesn't think Tiger is helping the black frame of mind.

".. Limbaugh said, “Black unemployment is terrible. The black frame of mind is terrible. They’re depressed. They’re down, Obama not doing anything for them. How’s that hoax and change working for ya? They’re all livid. They thought there was going to be an exact 180 degree economic reversal, and it’s done nothing but get bad for everybody, but they’re especially upset about it because they look at him as one of them, and now they feel abandoned, and I’m sure Tiger Woods’ choice of females not helping them out with their attitudes either.”' [Link]

Huh? First of all fatso, Tiger is Calabanasian or whatever the f#^* he likes to call himself, so please don't try to dump him off on us now. And don't even try to lump his O ness in with my man. Obama has a white mother yet he considers himself a black man. It's why he will always have a place to come home to (metaphorically speaking) no matter how bad he f&^%# up. Us black folks are like that, we tend to circle around our own. Hell, even O.J.; and that hurt, because the man did murder his wife. But some people are so predictable. Rush, it's not black folks who are in a "terrible" frame of mind" because of what Tiger did, it's people like you who were all too willing to accept his phony ass front. You did it because he liked to pal around with CEO's who looked like your sorry behind while pretending that he wasn't who he was. And you and all your middle aged white male friends who envied his golf swing and his blond wife, were all too willing to look past his blackness and see____________[fill in that blank] whatever it took to soothe your racial angst.

So sorry Tiger, as the bimbo parade continues and they all have a certain hue, your Calabanasian ass is looking more and more like just another slave catching house Negro with some self hatred issues. Not one sister? How about an Asian "jump off"?...... Yeah, I didn't think so.

One blogger wrote the following:

"If Tiger Woods had cheated on his gorgeous white wife with black women, the golfing great's accident would have been barely a blip in the blogosphere."

I take it he is talking about the black blogosphere. I still think we would have been talking about him, but maybe in another context. I know that if I am going to be honest, I wouldn't be looking at him the way that I do now. Still, articles suggesting that the distance between Tiger and blacks are widening because of this latest scandal have it wrong. That distance has been very wide for as long as the Calabanasian man has been around. But now that he has hit a bump on his putting green, just watch how some people try to close it for us.

School should be for learning.

I have gotten a lot of e-mails about the story I am going to blog about. Some folks have commented about it on this blog, and some bloggers have written posts wondering why I don't have the (rhymes with stalls) to blog about it.

What are they all talking about? I will tell you. Because I do have the (rhymes with stalls) to blog about it.

It seems that recently at predominantly African American South Philadelphia High, a number of Asian student have come under attack and have been the victims of gang style "beatdowns". Now some of those Asian students are boycotting school until Philly's finest and the school district can guarantee their safety.

My first thought when I heard this story was that the media had it wrong. I am somewhat familiar with the dynamics of South Philly's Asian population, and I didn't think that it would be a stretch to say that it all could have been gang related on both sides. Or, that this was just kids retaliating for something that had happened before. But knowing that I was going to blog about it I asked around, and from what I have been hearing my initial take on the incident was wrong.

There is no excuse for the behavior of these Negroes. They need a serious intervention. You do not attack another person because of their race. You just don't.

They messed with your family member, they are from another high school, they live in another part of town and you are at war with them over turf...whatever. But race? Not cool young bucks, not cool. And Philly School District can we stop with the bull s&*^ that this is not racially motivated? Come on now, pretending that there is no problem won't make it go away. It was racially motivated, and if every one of those black kids doing the attacking were honest that is what they would tell you.

'"We are outraged," said Xu Lin of the Philadelphia Chinatown Development Corp., who works with immigrant students. "The parents are very, very concerned."'

I don't blame you Xu Lin, I would be "outraged" as well.

"School officials say this week's clashes were an aberration that belie strenuous efforts to improve race relations and cultural awareness. "What gets lost in all of this is the fact that the school, the community and the students have worked hard over the past two years to foster that kind of positive learning environment," said James Golden, the school district's chief safety executive. "Despite what happened this week, that positive learning environment prevails."

Mr. Golden WTF are you talking about? A "positive learning environment"? No sir, that's not a positive "learning environment". It would be a "positive learning environment" if you were training for a heavy weight championship fight. It's not a "positive learning environment" if you want to learn in school. Damn! And people wonder why inner city schools are so f&*^d up. (I am trying to cut down on my cursing so hang with me.)

So where does this come from? First, let me say that black folks are not alone when it comes to this type of antagonistic behavior towards other racial groups. But lately, in the age of Obama, black folks have come under heightened scrutiny for their actions. It's why this is a national news story. We represent the same group that the president of these divided states comes from, so our group is under much more scrutiny now. See what those blacks did, they are just as racist as everyone else. Now that they are in power [snicker snicker snicker] there is no telling what they will do. This is a favorite tactic of some conservatives because they can use it to deflect from their own racism.

But I digress. Back to my question: Where does it come from? Home? Ignorance passed down from generation to generation? Peer pressure? Maybe. A sick form of jealousy? These kids come from neighborhoods where the only people they see with businesses are Asians. Is there some hidden resentment for that? Or is it just a lack of exposure to other cultures? These kids have barely left the confines of their own neighborhoods -and they are in high school now. Forget China, these kids have never been to Chinatown and it's in their own damn city.

I would suspect that the behavior of these students (and I use that word loosely) can be traced to a little of all of the above. Whatever it is it's wrong, and it needs to be checked. The school board has suspended ten students. Let's hope that if there is a real racial problem at Southern High, these suspensions will be just the tip of the iceberg.

"Using Lin as a translator, ninth-grader Chaofei Zheng said Friday that he wants to get an education, make friends and improve his English. He said there are nice students at the school and that he doesn't understand the reason for the attacks."

Chaofei, neither do I.

Just because white folks do it.....

Philly is a city that is full of history and traditions. And one of Philly's most storied traditions is the rowing spectacle known as the Dad Vail Regatta. It is an annual rowing competition between colleges that attract the very bluest of blue bloods among us. Needles to say it is very white.

Recently Philly lost the event and fifty years of tradition to the tony New Jersey community of Rumson. Poor Mayor Nutter didn't see it coming, and he has been taking a lot of heat for it ever since. So now the hand wringing and pontification has begun. One African American columnist has summed up the feelings of black folks in this city who want to see the Regatta come back, but in a more racially diverse form.

"It seems organizers are mulling the possibility of bringing the Dad Vail Regatta back to Philadelphia in 2011. This after dumping the city for deep-pockets Rumson, N.J., for the 2010 regatta.

What's a 50-plus-year relationship got to do with it?
I'm just saying Dad Vail sounds like a two-timing boyfriend.
Everyone, it seems, is all up in oars and blaming Mayor Nutter for not fighting to keep the marriage gliding - even though the Dad Vail broke it off and found another sugar daddy without the city even knowing. And all for money, of course.

Rejection hurts. After all, the Dad Vail's prestige draws more than 125 elite college crew teams. Not to mention that the cash-strapped city could sure use the millions in revenue that 100,000 rowing fans are sure to toss around...

...Well, it hurts for some people. Of course, we always take back misbehaving boyfriends, but if the city had any foresight, it would shoot for a better version.
One that's a lot more representative.

Especially as our cash-strapped city tries to decide what events to fund, I'm not sure I'd put money into a public event that - unintentionally or not - has become a private endeavor.
The Dad Vail would mean a lot more than just a nerve-racking traffic hassle if it belonged to everyone.

No diversity. The cry for diversity along Boathouse Row has been ongoing for years now." [Link]

"Diversity"? Why? Black folks, can we talk? Why is it that you want to be included in everything that white folks do? Seriously, what the hell is that all about?

There are just certain things that we don't do or enjoy as a race. (I am, of course, speaking in generalities, so please save your comments about all the times you went skiing with your uncle Leroy. ) And as far as I am concerned, that's cool. White folks love to bungee jump and sky dive. Black folks like to watch a nice kung fu movie or play some dominoes. White folks like to water ski and scuba dive; black folks like to jet-ski and play frisbee in the sand. White folks like to ski, black folks like to sit in the ski lodge and talk shit. And on it goes. We have differences, and there is nothing wrong with that.

When events such as the Dad Vail Regatta go down and it's all lily white, there is no harm no foul as far as I am concerned. They spend money in the city and everyone benefits. I don't hear white folks screaming to be a part of the Greek Picnic. Why? Well I am guessing that they understand that it's an African American event, and there is no need to demand inclusion.

Not -some of-you black folks. If the white man is doing it, you want in. Stop it! As long as they are not saying you can't participate even if you wanted to, it's cool. Leave them alone to have their fun.

You Negroes can find other things to do.

BTW, please don't confuse my stance on this issue with my 12% rule. One is dealing with

an organized pre- planned gathering. The other deals with spontaneous happenings or events that are open to the general public. (Such as the movies which is what I use it for.) I just wanted to get that out of the way to preempt the field is a hypocrite comments.

Oh, and before I go; remember that story about Lincoln University trying to make classes on weight loss mandatory for graduation? Well it seems that they have changed their minds. There is nothing like a little added pressure from the overweight lobby to make "the man" cave...let me stop.

Sorry, he doesn't quite fit our corporate image.

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I have been struggling with something since W's recession hit us, and maybe some of you racism apologist can help me with this. Why is it that the unemployment rate for black folks with college degrees is twice that of what it is for their white counterparts? And higher, even, than whites with less credentials?

I know that the unemployment rate for black males is something like 17%, and that's high. But given the amount of black men without college degrees and criminal records etc., I can somewhat understand that. But how do the racism apologist explain the number of college educated African Americans standing in the unemployment line? Oh field, it's because they get degrees in meaningless disciplines like psychology and communications, so they are overqualified for some jobs and "under qualified" for others. As a result they are left out of the job market. It has nothing to do with their race. Stop your whining, everything isn't about racism. Here in A-merry-ca all you have to do is work hard, get your degree, and you will live the A-merry-can dream....Yeah that's the ticket.

I was listening to Michael Medved the other day, and he is a man I disagree with maybe 99% of the time. He was even saying that while America has come a long way when it comes to matters of race, these new unemployment numbers clearly showed that racism still exists in America.

Of course some...scratch that; damn near all of his conservative callers disagreed. They chalked it up to everything from cultural differences and the need for a comfort level with similar people in the work place, to affirmative action making whites think that even black folks with college degrees were not qualified. It was painful to listen to. And even Medved seemed embarrassed for his peeps.

The irony, of course, is that while most whites think that his O ness is doing a bad job primarily because of the unemployment rate; most of the people who are unemployed (and the primary reason for the high numbers in the first place) are black folks just like his O ness. A-merry-ca is in a recession. But black A-merry-ca is going through a depression.

Sadly, a great part of the problem is us. We do need to take control of our own businesses and become more entrepreneurial in our endeavours so that we can do the hiring instead of depending on other folks to hire us. Still, some of these large companies- with their last hired first fired [Negro] policies- need to get checked. We patronize those companies, and many of them get corporate welfare. Welfare which comes from tax dollars that some of us black folks who are actually working have to pay.

So for all of you who think we are in a post racial A-merry-ca, slow down the love train just a little. There aren't just two colors in A-merry-ca that we need to reconcile. There are three: Black, white, and green.

*Pic courtesy of AOL Black Voices.

The Audacity Of Condescension

"Don't play with me!" Mr. Gibbs, I think you better listen to that sister. That, my friends, was April Ryan of American Urban Radio, dressing down White House press secretary, Robert Gibbs. Mr. Gibbs, you deserved that.

And now I really have to wonder about the folks his O ness have been surrounding himself with. Would Robert Gibbs have told a white male pool reporter (or even a black male one) to calm down and compare his behavior to that of his child? But wait, let me make sure I get the quote right: "Gibbs instructed her to "calm down" and to take a deep breath," adding "I do this with my son and that's what happens."' Yep, that's what he said. Not cool Mr. Gibbs. Not cool. April, expect to see your name and your mug on some [right]wingnut sites in the coming days.

Now, having said that, it's time to attack black a little bit as well. April, WTF kind of question was that? This is the White House not some Hollywood studio or a Page Six New York Post briefing.

"Ryan claimed that there have been whispers around Washington insinuating that Rogers had overstepped the traditional role of her title at the event to become the 'belle of the ball,' thus 'overshadowing the first lady.'" Huh? Girlfriend, you can't be serious with that line of questioning. Come on now, "whispers around"? You are a reporter. Leave the rumors and innuendos to us bloggers.

So yes, it was an inappropriate question. But it was one that Gibbs should have done a better job of handling. He is the White House press secretary for crying out loud; he should know how to handle such things without letting his hidden issues rise to the surface.

Boy I wonder how many other people around his O ness have these hidden issues? I am sure it won't be long before we find out. Some folks just can't keep their issues hidden for long.

A Tiger Question For The Ladies.

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I am going to blog about this Tiger mess again, and then I am going to leave it alone. (I hope)

To be honest, this post really isn't about Tiger, it's about one of those Men are from Mars deals that I am struggling with. The women who read this blog will have to help me out with this one.

So here goes my question:

If you are having an affair with a man you know to be married, why is it that you only get upset when you find out that he is creeping on you AND his wife? (Remember that old blues song? "Your husband is cheating on us"?) Seriously, what is all that about?

So now we find that all sorts of women are coming out of the woodwork on Tiger because each of them are starting to find out that there were others. Noooooo. So he is creeping on his wife and you don't think he will creep on you?

And I love this Rachel Uchitel character. First she was willing to take a lie detector test and swore up and down that there was nothing between her and Tiger. Then, as the other women started to surface, she promised to hold a news conference. (Hmmm, I wonder what she was going to say?) Of course that news conference was called off today by Philly home girl and news hound, Gloria Allred, because....well, chi ching chi ching chi ching. Let's see now; Gloria takes about 25%....not a bad pay day.

But I digress. Back to my original question: What is it about the "jump off'" that makes her only feel offended when she finds out that she might be "jump off" number two or, god forbid, number three?

Just curious. Maybe if Tiger had asked some of these kinds of questions he wouldn't be in this mess.

*Pic courtesy of Getty images.

One less wingnut in 2012.

"I will smash them one against the other, even parents against children, says the LORD. I will not let my pity or mercy or compassion keep me from destroying them." ~Jeremiah 13:12-14~

Did someone take the book of Jeremiah out of Mike Huckabee's bible? Poor Governor Huckabee. All those pardons guided by his faith might have finally caught up with him. Maurice Clemmons , -A-merry-ca's black bogeyman of the moment- was not the first person that Huckabee pardoned who went on to do some seriously f*&#%d up things, it's just that he has now become the most notorious.

I bet you never heard of Wayne Dumond or Glen Green. If you haven't don't feel bad. Most people outside of Arkansas haven't heard of them either. Like Clemmons, they were the beneficiaries of Huckabee's mercy. With a little prodding from his brothers in Christ, the good gov. made sure that these animals got back on the street because they were able to hustle the gov. and his friends into believing that they could change their spots.

I don't mean to pile on Mike Huckabee. Honesty, of all the GOP candidates who ran against his O ness, he seemed to be the most fundamentally decent. But I can't ignore the hypocrisy on the right. If you saw him [Huckabee] on Bill O'Reilly's show you saw how O'Reilly told him that he was not at fault for releasing these monsters to society, and that he was a stand up guy for even being on his show and talking about it. Huh? Are you kidding me? Imagine, for a minute, that Huckabee is a dumbocrat; do you think the reaction would be the same from our [right] wingnut friends? Of course it wouldn't; but such is the hypocrisy and spin that goes on when it comes to politics here in A-merry-ca.

Joe Conason writing for Salon.com doesn't like Mike Huckabee. This is what he wrote:

"During the 2008 campaign, Huckabee's arrogance and stupidity mostly escaped the full scrutiny of the national press corps, in part because his stint as a contender was so brief. But next time, if there is a next time, he should get no such free pass -- and his claims to divine guidance ought to be thoroughly debunked. "

Yes it should. And of course the problem with "divine guidance" is that we never know what the man upstairs is really planning. Sometimes it might not be in the best interest of us mortals. For example, right about now it's looking like he never wanted his humble servant, Mike Huckabee, to be president in the first place.

"Preaching To The Choir."

I heard the speech by his O ness tonight, but rather than a long post about it I am going to just leave it alone. I have already added my two cents to this debate. Besides, my mama always told me...well, let's just say that I am taking a wait and see attitude when it comes to Afghanistan. Get used to that word boys and girls, we will be hearing it a lot over the next three years. I won't be as tough on his O ness as some folks have been, but I am not going to pretend to like this new strategy, either. I wonder how we are going to pay for this new "surge"? I am willing to pay an added war tax, I wonder if my [right]wingnut friends who have been advocating for more troops will be willing to do the same? I doubt it. Lawmakers are supposedly jittery about this new war effort, and they should be. Thirty thousand troops at a million per man is a lot of dead presidents. Sorry, poor choice of words. It's a lot of money.

Still, West Point was a nice touch O man. All those men and women in uniform giving the commander in chief their undivided attention. I just hope you know what you are getting into . I know you said the comparisons to Vietnam aren't fair, but sorry, when it comes to war the American people tend to view all of them the same. When Bryan Williams starts leading "The Nightly News" with those coffins coming into Dover those comparisons will be made, fair or not.

So O man, for the record, I am not feeling this latest move, even though it beats being in Iraq;a place we had no business being in the first place. At least OBL might still be hiding out in the mountains of that region somewhere, (Thanks for blowing the chance to get him frat boy. Air strikes and Afghani intelligence? ) and we know that he is the mastermind behind the attacks that killed over three thousand Americans.

And speaking of Iraq: The evil one was at it again today. This guy just can't help himself. He won't shut up until AG Holder puts his ass in handcuffs.

“I begin to get nervous when I see the commander in chief making decisions apparently for what I would describe as small ‘p’ political reasons, where he’s trying to balance off different competing groups in society,” Cheney said.

“Every time he delays, defers, debates, changes his position, it begins to raise questions: Is the commander in chief really behind what they’ve been asked to do?”

Blah blah blah. Where is Elin Woods with those golf clubs when you need her?