Every Thanksgiving

I think of that joke. You know the one; if the Pilgrims ate cats instead of turkeys....I won't tell the rest of it, because I think it's a sexist joke and "kitty" might be lurking.

I am from Jamaica, so growing up I never really celebrated Thanksgiving (Although there was a brief period in my life when my family lived in Michigan and we did the whole turkey thing I think my parents just wanted to fit in). So now that I am an adult I have a hard time getting into Turkey Day. Yeah I know there is always a football game on, but it's always the Lions for crying out loud! And how more fucked up can you get than the Lions?

A-merry-cans lose their minds over Thanksgiving. This is a great time to be in A-merry-ca . Unless, of course, you happen to be a turkey. If you are a turkey I feel your pain, because this isn't a very good time of the year for you. Unless you happen to be the turkey the President pardons. But that turkey has connections, and he is just one of a million turkeys. Actually this year the frat boy pardoned two turkeys. "Oh field leave Scooter Libby out of this." OK sorry. Besides, I think that was last year. Bottom line, if you are a turkey you are pretty much fucked.

So it's Turkey Day; you stuff your face, shoot the breeze with family members, and the next thing you know, you are off into dreamland. (There is something in turkey that actually makes you sleepy. It's true!) Mrs. Field gets really pissed at me every year around this time because she wants to enjoy Turkey Day (Mrs. Field is A-merry-can). Me, I never understood what all the hype was about. I mean honestly, what are we celebrating? Tricking some poor Indians? I bet those 20 black people that came over to Jamestown with the rest of the Pilgrims didn't eat any damn turkey. Chicken maybe, but no turkey. And now that I think about it, why can't we eat chicken instead of turkey for Thanksgiving?

So anyway, when we go to the grocery store it's always a big production with Mrs. Field. She has to get "Butterball" turkey (Like it makes a difference) . And depending on how many people we are having over, she has to make sure the turkey's weight is just right (You can't have a 20 pound turkey for just two people I guess). And everything around the turkey has to be perfect as well (Mrs. Field doesn't use stuffing because she is from Louisiana). The right types of seasoning, cranberry sauce, pumpkin pie, whip cream, potatoes for the potato salad, dirty rice, ground beef...........you know what; maybe this whole Thanksgiving thing ain't so bad after all.

Shit, since it's already a holiday I might as well make the best of it. And fuck the Lions, I will be sleeping by half time anyway.