Tonight's post is all about bad relationships. One story is from right here in my area, and the other one comes from far away Detroit.
Let me start with the Detroit story because this one takes the cake. (Or should I say the car)
When I hear sisters lamenting about the shortage of good black men, I feel their pain, I really do.
And you honestly can't blame a sister sometimes for looking past certain bad traits in their men if the good ones far outweigh the bad ones. But there are certain things that one should not ignore in a relationship no matter what. Like when, for instance, your man steals your car on your first date. That shit is just not cool. I mean the woman was nice enough to go date night in her whip and you steal it?
"FERNDALE, Mich. - Police in Michigan say a first date went from bad to worse when a Detroit man skipped out on the restaurant bill, then stole his date's car.
Police say 23-year-old Terrance Dejuan McCoy had dinner with a woman April 24 at Buffalo Wild Wings in the Detroit suburb of Ferndale. The woman says the two met a week earlier at a Detroit casino and she knew McCoy only as "Chris."
The woman told police that McCoy said he left his wallet in her car and asked for keys. He then sped away in the 2000 Chevrolet Impala.
The Daily Tribune of Royal Oak reports that police identified McCoy by a photo he'd sent to the woman's cell phone, and his phone number. McCoy is charged with unlawfully taking the car, a five-year felony. He waived a preliminary exam and was bound over for trial Thursday. "
What the hell is wrong with these brothas in Motown? Not only does he stiff her with the bill, --That's what you get for going to "Buffalo Wild Wings" on your first date-- but when girlfriend went outside her car was gone. That is some gangsta shit. (Oh field how do you know it's a brotha? They didn't show his picture. Stop it!) Anywhooo, that shit was fowl, but it's not always the men who behave badly.
Take this case, for instance. This brotha went Jack Johnson on us, but the results are no different: Another bad relationship. (Field how do you know it's an interracial relationship? They didn't show his par amour's picture. Stop it!) This brotha, like the one in Detroit, ended up in jail, but in his case it seems his milk might be clean.
"NEVER imagined my duties at the Daily News would include providing couples' counseling.
But there I was, on a three-way phone call this week with Maureen Picozzi, who lives in Wissinoming Park, and Tyrone Jeffreys, who's locked up at the city's House of Corrections.
I'd received a letter from Jeffreys, 29, asking for help.
But there I was, on a three-way phone call this week with Maureen Picozzi, who lives in Wissinoming Park, and Tyrone Jeffreys, who's locked up at the city's House of Corrections.
I'd received a letter from Jeffreys, 29, asking for help.
In May, Picozzi, 27, told cops that Jeffreys - her ex-boyfriend and father of her child - had broken into her house, screamed at her, then taken her keys and car without permission. Police arrested Jeffreys, who has been incarcerated ever since, unable to post 10 percent of his $50,000 bail.
The thing is, Picozzi now says her story isn't true. She told me that she'd lent Jeffreys her Ford Crown Victoria, so he could look for work. When he returned it, they got into one of their huge arguments. Exasperated, she said she concocted her story to get Jeffreys "out of my hair."
This isn't the first time, Picozzi told me, that she called the cops on Jeffreys, on pretenses that "weren't always true."
A few years ago, Picozzi said, she accused him of rape. He got locked up. The charges were dropped. They reconciled.
Another time, she told me, she said Jeffreys had assaulted her. He got locked up. The charges were dropped. They reconciled.
And in January, she got a restraining order against Jeffreys - but kept in touch with him anyway.
"I said he abused me," said Picozzi, who's between jobs right now. "I was sick of him coming around whenever he wanted."
Both of them figure that, in the last six years or so, Picozzi has called 9-1-1 "maybe 10 times" to report crimes by Jeffreys - "some happened, some didn't," she said."
Hey, I know; maybe Dejuan's date and Tyrone could hook up. I am just saying.
No story coming out of the motor city would surprise me; that place is on meltdown.
ReplyDeleteSigh., I'm a little on the mean side tonight. The theme for Jaws almost kicked in. I better keep my opinion to myself for now.
ReplyDeleteOkay Tyrone needs to stay in jail for being stupid. Stupid is a felony right? If he was stupid enough to get back with that woman after false rape charges then do not pass go stay in jail.
ReplyDeleteHey, I know; maybe Dejuan's date and Tyrone could hook up.""
ReplyDeleteNow that was just wrong, lol.
Yeah, Im with Monie here - the dude in the latter case (hell, both of them) was dumb as hell. When someone falsely acuses you of a crime, you dont go back to them! Not even if youve actually done stuff to them before and didnt get caught! You thank your lucky stars and keep on moving.
I must be old cause I dont think Id let some dude I just met take my car keys for 5 minutes. And thats even with the crappy car I have!
Although dude might be doing me a favor...hmm...food for thought...lol.
L
lolz@Monie
ReplyDeletecan't top that--
only an asshole would make shit up so that your boyfriend go to jail, that is fucked up stupid, only thing worse is that they made up.
ReplyDeleteHilarious but pathetic...Pathetic but true...True but just damn ridiculous! Thank you because I needed a good laugh today.
ReplyDeleteThe games people play. Smh!
ReplyDeleteThe first story sounds like a undercover dope fiend move. The second story sounds like a woman with some serious mental issues. Smh!
ReplyDeleteIn the first story, the woman should have gotten the 411 on him first, check out what type of friends he has, etc. That's like going out with a complete stranger.
The second story, again the 411 on her too. After the first incident, he should have kicked her to the curve and moved on. When people pull the types of moves she did, it does not get better, it always gets worse.
A few years ago, Picozzi said, she accused him of rape. He got locked up. The charges were dropped. They reconciled.
ReplyDeleteField,
I have a very close friend going through a nasty divorce at the moment. Long story short, the soon to be ex had him hauled out of his home and thrown in jail on totally specious charges. It cost him $4500 to get out of jail on charges that were later dropped. The point of this anecdote is that he is still willing, hoping even, to reconcile.
I'm guessing that this is not an irish thing or a black thing, but a stupid male thing. Universal, kind of an XY thing.
"No story coming out of the motor city would surprise me; that place is on meltdown."
ReplyDeleteThat's no excuse, History Dude. You sound as if that kind of treatment is exclusive to Blacks in Detroit. It's not. That is the way Blacks operate in relationships all across the USA. It is based strictly non-intimacy; there are no feelings in the heart, only feeling in the genitals, nothing more.
Yep, when it comes to morals, some Blacks rank right up there with alley cats when it comes to relationships. They just don't know how to relate in a healthy functional manner to each other: low self-esteem and self-hate breeds sick abusive relationships for desperate people.
Didn't Tyler Perry make a movie about this called I can do bad all by myself?
ReplyDeleteBrother Field....(off topic) Yesterday when the press was in a frenzy to report on Brother Vick, we had just a blip from our own media (Daily Press) about the gunning down of three young boys on our killing street. Having watched "Lil Vick" growing up in Newport News, I hope his message now can help change some of the insanity that exist here as well as his new home in Philly.
ReplyDeleteThe former case strikes me as typical crackhead behavior. Only a crackhead could do something so fucking senseless. Guess when it "calls" you, you just gotta go to it. It don't fuck around.
ReplyDeleteThe latter case? Well, we men can get a bit hooked when it comes to the kitty, especially if it's good kitty.
"A few years ago, Picozzi said, she accused him of rape. He got locked up. The charges were dropped. They reconciled."
Yep, that must have been one hell of a kitty.
Oh snap ! WTF ? She cast my man among murders and booty bandits - and he goes back to her ?
ReplyDeleteNow that's some good or his first and only "poonie charm"
DAMN! They sittin on this month's top 10 reality show ; An enterprising FN might tack on an entertainment law shingle - just sayin . ;-)
Oh snap ! WTF ? She cast my man among murders and booty bandits - and he goes back to her ?
ReplyDeleteNow that's some good or his first and only "poonie charm"
DAMN! They sittin on this month's top 10 reality show ; An enterprising FN might tack on an entertainment law shingle - just sayin . ;-)
FN, I encounter many of these stories on my caseload. Females are becoming meaner and meaner. They use 911 as a leverage to keep the man in line and if that doesnt work they use the man's child(ren). Its as though they dont know any better. It takes years to help the female unlearn these behaviors and to actually see their future without the said man.
ReplyDeleteAlso, the first story, the guy must have experienced a bad date and needed to get away -fast, or his wife texted him wanting to know where the hell he was and he needed to get home - quick.
Lola, WTF? Do you still have that car? I am going to set up a pay pal on this bad boy and get a collection going for you.:)
ReplyDelete"FN, I encounter many of these stories on my caseload. Females are becoming meaner and meaner. They use 911 as a leverage to keep the man in line and if that doesnt work they use the man's child(ren)."
DD, tell me about it. When I retire form my current position I will be writing a book about that very thing. (The children part)
Gregory, I know the same guy.
"The games people play.."
Hey ganny, remember that old Spinners song? "Games people play" Yeah that was a jam. Don't ask me why I just thought about it.:)
Brother Panther, what are we going to do to stop these killing fields? Honestly, I am about to give up. Maybe the shit just can't be stopped.
Buffalo Wild Wings? Man, that is one high-class date!
ReplyDeleteField,
ReplyDeleteI don't think the killing fields can be stopped either. So many of these areas are just too far gone. Broken homes combined with a lack of jobs, combined with few educational skills, combined with the lack of access to the most critical tools needed for success(the digital divide, something you should blog on) makes it an almost hopeless situation.
Some crazy assed people out there.
ReplyDeleteRemember the story of a couple in Long Island where in the 1960s the guy threw acid in the woman's face? She married after he came out of jail. He, in turn, went back to jail on a scam he and his lawyer were perpetrating. She was nice looking young woman. I think she rebuffed his advances and he came to her house and threw acid on her face.
You need to find out more about people's backgrounds and be more cautious with folk you don't know.
I just finished watching Tyson. He called Desiree Washington a filthy swine.
History dude,
ReplyDeleteI wonder if there is really a digital divide, when every child I see has a cell phone, with as much power as a PC.
These children do not lack access to mass communication, where they an not able to find out about the world around them. Over a hundred channels of digital TV in the household. One could learn Chinese if immersed in one their channels.
Therein lies the problem; direction and guidance.
@FN
ReplyDeleteI have a House Negro nomination to make:
Tara Setmayer, To the Contrary Panelist
If you get a chance please check out the first 10 minutes of this weekend's To the contrary and watch Tara defend the "great White hope" comments among other things.
She was in rare House Negro form.
You sound as if that kind of treatment is exclusive to Blacks in Detroit. It's not. That is the way Blacks operate in relationships all across the USA. It is based strictly non-intimacy; there are no feelings in the heart, only feeling in the genitals, nothing more.<<<
ReplyDeleteYou must not ever watch ABC's Primetime or NBC's Dateline. There are plenty of stories about white folks in toxic relationships (or doing something stupid)...which have wound up with someone being screwed over or murdered.
And just look at the "dates from hell" stories MSNBC.com or Dear Prudence offers up to readers. So, it's not just a black thing.
Remember the story of a couple in Long Island where in the 1960s the guy threw acid in the woman's face? She married after he came out of jail. He, in turn, went back to jail on a scam he and his lawyer were perpetrating. She was nice looking young woman. I think she rebuffed his advances and he came to her house and threw acid on her face.<<<
ReplyDeleteThere is a documentary on this sad tale, Crazy Love.
http://www.crazylovefilm.com/
http://movies.nytimes.com/2007/06/01/movies/01craz.html
Really, Field, isn't rather presumptuous of you to assume that Terrance is black? Clearly, you have never heard of my old chap from the club, Terrance Dejuan McCoy Harrington Witherspoon IV. Yes, he's a descendant of those Witherspoons, or shall I say the Witherspoons?
ReplyDeleteYou might say the Witherspoons invented Buffalo Wings, by virtue of their ownership of the entire chicken disassembly industry. While I am not familiar with the details of his schedule -- the Witherspoons being somewhat notorious for their jealous guarding of their privacy -- I am confident that young Terrance Dejuan was merely familiarizing himself with the end uses of the family patrimony.
It sounds as if he had found himself in need of emergency transportation to return to a board meeting. You see, his Jaguar is a vintage model, and reliability has always been an issue. It could happen to any of us.
I am certain the Witherspoon family will be happy to replace the young woman's car. She need merely have her representative call at the Witherspoon estate to make the arrangements. It is located on the eastern shore of Maryland, in a spot where one would expect it to be. If there should be any trouble, the woman's representative need only mention a "Mr. Grinder."
"Buffalo Wild Wings? Man, that is one high-class date!"
ReplyDelete"It has always been a mystery to me how men can feel themselves honoured by the humiliation of their fellow beings."
Mohandas Gandhi
"Buffalo Wild Wings? Man, that is one high-class date!"
ReplyDeleteWell, I guess it beats Micky D's.
Sharon, I agree, there are lots of folks with some seriously f&*$$d up relationships in this country. Look at the man and his wife (I think it was his wife) who held that poor girl for 18 years and had two kids with her. That is some sick shit.
grinder, "you so crazy".
Sharon in WI-"You must not ever watch ABC's Primetime or NBC's Dateline. There are plenty of stories about white folks in toxic relationships (or doing something stupid)...which have wound up with someone being screwed over or murdered."
ReplyDeleteI don't watch TV. Sharon, it's not good for the mind and heart. Besides, do you believe all of that crap on TV? Even the news is wrong. What difference does it make if Whites have crazy relationships? That does not diminish the fact that Blacks still have unhealthy screwed up relationships where the sista gets her hard earned car stolen by a typical shitass black man.
I am curious. Why do you always pick out my posts to comment on? You must be attracted to me.
BTW, I left you a private message in the previous post where you were whining and crying about dolls and monkeys.
Love, your favorite Anon, 911.
I am curious. Why do you always pick out my posts to comment on? You must be attracted to me.<<
ReplyDeleteHon, you are ANONYMOUS. I do not know you from Adam. How to you make the leap that I always comment to your posts. Get over yourself.
Furthermore, I did not receive any private correspondence from you.
My point is, is that people who engage in crazy relationships is a part of the human condition, not the purview of black folks. capisce?
omg, anymous thinks he left a "private message", Sharon, be careful, a nut left me some messages where he even knew where I lived.
ReplyDeleteKathy,
ReplyDeleteAdvice taken.
@Sharon in WI,
ReplyDeleteI was being facetious. Don't listen to that nutty Kathy.
yes anonymous, you were being "facetious" lol, i just nutty. my husband take care all your messages now.
ReplyDelete@Sharon in WI-"Furthermore, I did not receive any private correspondence from you."
ReplyDeleteThe message was a comment to you in the thread "Isn't She Cute?" Anybody can read it. I see my sense of humor doesn't come across too well, I forgot about that...esp. with people like "one- flew-over-the-coo-coo's-nest- Kathy." She obviously comes from an over-reactive fearful family.
@Kathy, "yes anonymous, you were being "facetious" lol, i just nutty. my husband take care all your messages now."
ReplyDeleteIt sounds like you going deeper and now you are threatening me?
grinder, "you so crazy"
ReplyDeleteI try, Field, I try.
1) There is no shortage of good black men for good black women who want them. Period.
ReplyDelete2) Why is being psycho in relationship always highlighted with the woman as psycho? That first story was relatively harmless as compared to the second.
3) There is NO shortage of good black men, it's simply a ploy created by racists to keep black men and women in discourse where their relationships are concerned.
STOP believing the hype so called field negroes!!!
@Fly-"3) There is NO shortage of good black men, it's simply a ploy created by racists to keep black men and women in discourse where their relationships are concerned.
ReplyDeleteSTOP believing the hype so called field negroes!!!"
Thanks Fly. It's nice to hear a black woman on this blog speak up for good black men. Most comments are constant negatives by most on this blog (LI, Grata, FP, etc). The fact that all other woman on this blog remain silent must mean that they agree.
I really don't think it's a ploy by racists, anymore. The negative image of all black men is promoted by members of our own race who call themselves Field Negroes.
Of course, no one wants to be called a House Negro- so everyone these days claims to be an upstanding trustworthy Field Negro. Hence, the term "Field Negro" has been morally diluted. Field Negroes today no longer have the integrity and trustworthiness once needed to be one.
In reality those claiming to be Field Negroes are really House Negroes in disguise...wolves in sheep clothing. There are a lot of them.
Thanks again for the support.
What I find sad is that when a sista has a "good black man" staring them right in the face, they tend to not even recognize it most of the time. Hell, that's women in general.
ReplyDeleteA lifetime of "chasing the bad boy" and wanting a "challenge" has forever warped the American woman's view of what "manhood" is. It's quite sad.
@Kathy, "yes anonymous, you were being "facetious" lol, i just nutty. my husband take care all your messages now."
ReplyDeleteIt sounds like you going deeper and now you are threatening me?
9:32 PM
anymos 9:32pm
deeper? not at all,lol.
lol, deeper? ha ha ha lololo, you are such an anonymous, chicken shit asshole, i laughing now.
@Kathy-learn to speak english you nutty racist bitch.
ReplyDeleteLOL... Sharon and Kathy, an Anony with a paranoid identity complex.
ReplyDeleteSharon, I can tell which Anony he is though, (Mr. one ball(s) who was stalking me and getting into "women" conversation months back). I can tell from his writing.
LI-"Sharon, I can tell which Anony he is though, (Mr. one ball(s) who was stalking me and getting into "women" conversation months back). I can tell from his writing."
ReplyDeleteLOL...Who would want to stalk you?
La, "paranoid identity" LOL!
ReplyDeleteAnymous:you write:
@Kathy-learn to speak english you nutty racist bitch.
Puedo hablar, escribir, y leer en ingles y espanol, entiendo un poco de frances, portugues, y un poco de aleman, y estudi mandarin por ocho anos, chupas huevos, cochino.
@Kathy-your foul mouth english is improving. Your kids must be confused when it comes to moral values.
ReplyDelete@Kathy, Mi hija estudia Mandarin y espanol tambein!
ReplyDeleteAnonymous said...
ReplyDeleteThanks Fly. It's nice to hear a black woman on this blog speak up for good black men.
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
It's easy to speak up for good Black men when you're used to them, LOL!! But don't get it twisted, I ripped Steve McNair a new one!!!