That's a fair question, and it is one that I am all too glad to help my friends in the majority population with.
And just to show you what a nice guy I am; I have prepared a racism quiz to help you out.
Here goes: (No peeking at the answers, please)
1. Your son (daughter) goes off to college, and they surprise the entire family by bringing their African American girlfriend (boyfriend) home for Thanksgiving.
What do you do?
A. After fainting you ask for a glass of water.
B. You hurry and try to prepare some macaroni & cheese and watermelon for your child's new friend.
C. You pull your child's new friend to the side and try to figure out how serious the relationship is.
D. You ask to talk to her (his) parents.
2. Black folks using the N-word to each other really bothers you.
A. Because you want to use it yourself and you are sick of the double standard.
B. Because you heard it so much as a child and you didn't have a happy childhood.
C. Because you only associate the word with gangsta rappers.
D. Because you really do find the word offensive.
3. When you see an extremely articulate black person on television you
A. Think it's a white person in black makeup.
B. Think to yourself: They must have been adopted by a white family.
C. Wonder to yourself when Denzel started making commercials.
D. Figure they must be from California.
4. You are stuck in traffic on the highway and late for a very important meeting. There is an exit coming up that will get you around the traffic. The only catch is that it goes through a very black neighborhood. What do you do?
A. Say that the traffic isn't really that bad after all and settle in.
B. Get on the cell phone and call the people at the meeting and let them know that you will probably be late.
C. You check with your crime app on your cell phone to see just how bad the area is.
D. You lock your car doors and go for it.
5. Since Barack Obama became president it has been
A. Hell for all white males.
B. Hell for the country.
C. Hell for republicans.
D. Hell for terrorists named Osama.
6. My favorite kind of music is
A. Anything that doesn't have that black jungle beat in it.
B. Country, because it shows the real pain of working class whites.
C. Blues, because it shows the real pain of the Mississippi Delta.
D. Reggae, because it just makes me want to light up.
7. The Klan is
A. Misunderstood.
B. Need a serious makeover.
C. Not as popular as you think.
D. Everywhere in thought.
8. When I see a group of black males approaching I cross the street or hold on to my purse tighter if
A. No ifs. I just do it.
B. There are two or more.
C. There are three or more.
D. They are wearing hoodies.
9. This "white privilege" debate is just
A. More liberal BS to make white males look bad.
B. Created by black people to get more goodies.
C. So confusing.
D. Not relevant to all white people.
10. All black people like fried chicken.
A) True
b) False
11. All black people can dance.
A) True
B) False
12. Those commercials with at least one black couple or black person is a true reflection of my reality.
A) True
B) False
13. I have never visited another country and don't want to.
A) True
B) False
14. In 25 years we won't know America anymore.
A) True
B) False
15. I have started a sentence like this in the past: I don't want to sound like a racist but....
A) True
B) False
Answers:
All A answers get 0 points.
All B answers get 2 points.
All C answers get 3 points.
All D answers get 4 points.
#10 Is True; if you got it give yourself 3 points.
#11 Is False; if you got it give yourself 3 points.
#12 If you selected True give yourself 5 points.
#13 If you selected False give yourself 3 points.
#14 If you selected False give yourself 3 points.
#15 If you selected False give yourself 5 points.
If you got less than 10 points you should leave now, as I am sure that you are late for a Klan meeting somewhere.
If you got between 10-30 points, you might not be out marching in sheets and a hood, but you are at home cheering them on.
If you got between 30-40 points, congratulations, you represent most of the people in America.
If you got over 40 points your honorable Field Negro card is in the mail.
No-Slappz 0
ReplyDeleteLegacy 0
Bill 25
Kinky Con 5
All other anons 1
1. Your son (daughter) goes off to college, and they surprise the entire family by bringing their African American girlfriend (boyfriend) home for Thanksgiving.
ReplyDeleteWhat do you do?
Ask them if they want a drink.
2. Black folks using the N-word to each other really bothers you.
A. Because you want to use it yourself and you are sick of the double standard.
3. When you see an extremely articulate black person on television you.
B. Think to yourself: They must have been adopted by a white family.
4. You are stuck in traffic on the highway and late for a very important meeting. There is an exit coming up that will get you around the traffic. The only catch is that it goes through a very black neighborhood. What do you do?
Pull my Glock 21 out of the glove box, set it on the seat, and go for it
5. Since Barack Obama became president it has been
B. Hell for the country.
6. My favorite kind of music is
California biker acid rock
7. The Klan is
Irrelevant
8. When I see a group of black males approaching I cross the street or hold on to my purse tighter if
A. No ifs. I just do it.
9. This "white privilege" debate is just
All of the above
10. All black people like fried chicken.
Everybody likes fried chicken
11. All black people can dance.
Some badly.
12. Those commercials with at least one black couple or black person is a true reflection of my reality.
Usually, no one's reality.
13. I have never visited another country and don't want to.
Been to a dozen. About to leave this one.
14. In 25 years we won't know America anymore.
I don't know it now.
15. I have started a sentence like this in the past: I don't want to sound like a racist but....
Never. I don't care if I sound like a racist. I know I am not.
Although my score on your quiz is probably around -12.
ROTFLMBAO!!!
ReplyDeleteComment of the year, BRAVO Field!!!!
"If you got between 30-40 points, congratulations, you represent most of the people in America."
ReplyDeleteAre you saying most of the people in America are that dumb?
You are such a cynic.
I tend to give people a little more credit, and would guess less than 20.
Oh Lord! Field you have gone and done it now. When Kinky and Bill see this they are going to have a field day with it. LOL
ReplyDeleteI must say I like your test but I think you were a little hard on the grading for my white friends.
Hell, most FN Negroes couldn't pass it simply because they wouldn't know how those white folks would react when they showed up for dinner.
And considering every White has a gun that they WILL USE, well, it's effing dangerous to be going home with your white blond girlfriend. It could be the last house you ever visit.
In all fairness I don't know how I would react if my kid brought home a Becky or a Brad.
ReplyDeleteBlogger PilotX said...
ReplyDeleteIn all fairness I don't know how I would react if my kid brought home a Becky or a Brad.
9:38 PM
-----------------
Considering you live on the South Side in Chicago, and you have unabashedly let every one know you are a racist and don't want Whites in your house and neighborhood, you probably would either disown your kid, or shoot your kid.
Field, this is a great post. You really are creative, when it comes to chasing the big R.
ReplyDeleteThank you. lol
"Considering you live on the South Side in Chicago, and you have unabashedly let every one know you are a racist and don't want Whites in your house and neighborhood, you probably would either disown your kid, or shoot your kid."
ReplyDeleteDumbest comment of the year?
"Dumbest comment of the year?"
ReplyDeleteYours or his?
Pretty good, Field!!
ReplyDelete"Yours or his?"
ReplyDeleteObviously yours.
SB, is an outlier. :)
ReplyDeleteBut I know some folks like that.
Curious SB, where do you plan to live when u leave America?
PilotX, at least u are honest. Quite a few black folks would have that reaction to their kid coming home from college with Bob Jr., or Becky.
ReplyDelete"3. When you see an extremely articulate black person on television you"
Field, as an additional choice for the number 3 question. I'm adding "Affirmative Action" for their convenience. You see, it seems every little professional achievement outside their delusional idea of black dysfunction is called "Affirmative Action". They seem to be stuck on stupid with those two words.
I would also like to take this time to apologize to Black Sage, where ever you are (I think).
ReplyDeleteOn a previous thread I tried to attack him, but in my late night confusion it was done in error. For some reason I took him for Shady Grady.
LOL. Thank you.
Pilot X: "In all fairness I don't know how I would react if my kid brought home a Becky or a Brad."
ReplyDeleteLet me help. If your daughter brought home a white guy, you would be somewhat alarmed or even disappointed. When he's gone you will start reminding her how "evil" white men are and how she will be used for sex.
If your son brought home a white girl, you would give him that confirming look, you might also give him that fatherly squeeze on the back of his neck. You will then begin to trip over yourself all night trying to impress that young lady.
I'm just taking an educated guess based on statistics.
"For some reason I took him for Shady Grady."
ReplyDeleteHow could you confuse those two? Shady Grady actually has sense.
"How could you confuse those two? Shady Grady actually has sense."
ReplyDeleteThey both are somewhat like the same (I have my reasons). But I have more negative history with one rather than the other. And maybe Sage deserved my tolling that night too, but for some reason I had the other one in mind when I was gunning. I just wanted to clear the air. Fair is fair.
For some reason I took him for Shady Grady.
ReplyDelete......
I guess being a fake ass troll is popular these days.
"I'm just taking an educated guess based on statistics."
ReplyDeleteSays Kinky Con's girlfriend. Troll on sis, troll on.
1. Your son goes off to college, and surprises the entire family by bringing his African American girlfriend home for Thanksgiving
ReplyDeleteWhat do you do?
C. Smile and pull your son to the side and ask him his opinion of her pubic hair.
2. Black folks using the N-word to each other really bothers you.
D. Because you really are tired of hearing blacks repeating the same few words they know over and over. N-word, mutha-fucka, I aks you, where muh money?
3. When you see an extremely articulate black person on television you
A. Think the speaker is an actor who goes right back to ebonics when the camera stops.
4. You are stuck in traffic on the highway and late for a very important meeting. There is an exit coming up that will get you around the traffic. The only catch is that it goes through a very black neighborhood. What do you do?
B. Get on the cell phone and call the people at the meeting and let them know that you've had to take a detour, but would anyone in the room like you to pick some crack since you're in the hood?
5. Since Barack Obama became president it has been
A. Great for Americans now that everyone knows that even if you send one of them to Harvard, give him a law degree and elect him president, he's still hated by his Muslim brothers.
7. The Klan is
A. Something we Scots have.
8. When I see a group of black males approaching I cross the street so
A. I can get close enough to see them and make a positive ID at the precinct house if necessary.
9. This "white privilege" debate is just
A. an expression of envy.
10. All black people like fried chicken.
B) False. Some like it. Others looovvvee it.
11. All black people can dance.
A) True
12. Those commercials with at least one black couple or black person is a true reflection of my reality.
A) True. I see at least one black couple or one black person every day in the back seat of a squad car.
14. In 25 years we won't know America anymore.
A) True. Because Kanye and Kim will use America for a baby name and copyright it.
15. I have started a sentence like this in the past: I don't want to sound like a racist but....
B) False. I've never started a sentence because I've never been convicted of a crime.
PilotX said...
ReplyDelete"I'm just taking an educated guess based on statistics."
---
You can guess all you want, but you've proven time and time again that you can't understand statistics.
"You can guess all you want, but you've proven time and time again that you can't understand statistics."
ReplyDeleteAnd you don't understand how to read. I didn't make that statement. Typical.
Is this the same old no_slappz? This one seems a bit, uh how do we say, less refined?
ReplyDeletePilotX said...
ReplyDelete"I didn't make that statement."
-----
If you can't understand statistics, you really shouldn't be making any statements.
Why don't you just go back and restock the beverage cart.
I will when you learn to read. Admit your mistake like a good troll. Ha!
ReplyDelete
ReplyDeletefield negro said...
PilotX, at least u are honest. Quite a few black folks would have that reaction to their kid coming home from college with Bob Jr., or Becky.
Would it make a difference if it was your son or daughter bringing home the white date?
Anonymous Bill said...
ReplyDeletefield negro said...
PilotX, at least u are honest. Quite a few black folks would have that reaction to their kid coming home from college with Bob Jr., or Becky.
Would it make a difference if it was your son or daughter bringing home the white date?
Weezy, we be movin on up.
Don't have kids so I can't answer that question.
ReplyDeletePilot, I think we are seeing the real slappy. You can't hide what u are forever.
Dear Mr Field, in the interest of your readers, they want to know if you pray or not?
ReplyDeleteAnon 9:10:
ReplyDeleteHis father is a Pastor, he was raised in the church, praying must be like second nature to him! Think about it. I know, thinking is hard for you but try :) Either way, all those years of being in the presence of worship and prayer leave a permanent veil of spirituality on a person, so he's covered! :) Which is another legacy his parents gave him!
Dear Mr Field, thank you for the quiz for Whites. I knew the day I found your blog that I would learn a lot about myself and everyone in my all-White family.
ReplyDeleteI took the quiz and happy and very much relieved to know that I am not racist and neither are my family members, or distant cousins.
I plan to let my Christian brothers and sisters know in church this Sunday and will suggest that all church members visit your blog and 'take the test'...to see if they are true Christians. My guess is they will pass with flying colors.
Mr Field, you seem like a very fair man, who doesn't have an ounce of prejudice in your bones. Oh, I know, I know what Bill and Kinky say about you. But I have trust in you.
Anyway, I digress...What I want to know is when will you be posting the racist test for Blacks? I ask because there are some black folks at work that I am sure are racists. A stringent racist test for Blacks will show some of these black folks who they 'really' are.
Also, it will eliminate Bill's whining about 'double standards'... and Kinky calling you a racist.
Also, I would like to include such a test in my interviews for potential black employees. In addition, it would be nice to hand out to black employees with some tenure in service. I need to determine who to keep and who to fire.
Mr Field, I have a feeling your test for Whites will be embraced by a Democratic Congress and WH and will be mandatory in government and law enforcement...It would weed out all the white racists on the job... And, that would be a good thing.
DQAE @9:47am, thank you for your input. It is exactly what I would expect from a genius like you.
ReplyDeleteI am surprised that you are now commenting under an anonymous name. After all your criticisms about 'anons' not having the guts to have an ID, you become an anon?
How confusing!!
RIP Maya Angelou.
ReplyDeleteThis is a big hit to the bad poetry industry.
ReplyDeletePilotX said...
ReplyDeleteIn all fairness I don't know how I would react if my kid brought home a Becky or a Brad.
Would you call a white person that said that a racist?
Hhmmm.
RIP Maya Angelou
ReplyDeleteIf you value your life and property choose racism.
ReplyDeleteThis is an Extra Stupid Post Today Field...
ReplyDeleteAs if the Racists would answer any of the questions truthfully...
and what would it accomplish if they did...?
Meanwhile the groups that are supposed to serve the intrests of Black People continue to sell us down the river at every turn...
Nevermind that Black Folks suffered some of the Worst losses in real estate equity in the 2008 financial crisis....
CBC= Congressional Black Cacus....
"In June 2013 28 CBC members sent a letter to the Department of Labor, urging it to reconsider a rule requiring retirement account managers and investment advisers to act in their clients' best interests -- what is known in finance as a "fiduciary duty." Fudge told us she was worried the rule would limit minority access to financial advice. But the letter was actually written by Robert Lewis, a lobbyist at the Financial Services Institute, who forgot to scrub his metadata from the document before circulating it around the Hill.
Inter Affiliate Swap Clarification Act...
H677 ...
Large portion of the CBC is still trying to push it through on behalf of Wall St.
This goes back to having the money to Purchase Politicians..
Ohhh look a Quiz on Racism...
LOL..you are an interesting character Field...
Never deviate from the script...
Anonymous said...
ReplyDeleteIf you value your life and property choose racism.
---
It is the smart choice.
Keep your head on a swivel, I say.
Teach a man to fish and be responsible for themselves and he will be a republican. Give a man free food, welfare and no responsibilities to learn and achieve and he will always be a democrat.
ReplyDeleteAll hail Obozo.
I laughed out loud FN, you're the best as usual.....:-)
ReplyDeletegaz
Steal a fish and he'll always be a racist, white republican.
ReplyDeleteIf you've ever said "That's wayciss!" on any comment thread, or demonstrated your formidible name-calling skills by using such words as 'sheboon', 'jig', 'apes', 'Traycoon', 'Obamo', 'Obozo', 'Obummer', 'Moochelle', etc., then you are undoubtedly a snivelling, scum-scucking, bottom-feeding "wayciss". Next!
ReplyDelete"Teach a man to fish and be responsible for themselves and he will be a republican."
ReplyDeleteWho commits suicide at age 28 because he's sick to death of only eating fish.
1. Set an extra place for dinner.
ReplyDelete2. Isn't really any of my business.
3. Continue watching TV.
4. Take the shortcut.
5. Oddly, rougher on black people.
6. Jazz and it's children.
7. A joke compared to structural racism.
8. I see black people doing so.
9. A necessary national conversation.
10. Everybody loves fried chicken.
11. Dancing is a lost art.
12. T
13. F
14. We can hope.
15. F. Anything following that qualifier is pretty sure to be racist.
-------------------
I'd like to say that we lost a national treasure in Prof. Maya Angelou yesterday. I remember reading her "I know why a Caged Bird Sings" when I was a sullen skinny 10 year old being pretty mercilessly bullied by a neighbor. It changed, if not saved, my life, and I remain grateful. I'm far from alone in that regard. May she rest in peace.
Whitey's Conspiracy is desperately non-racist.
ReplyDeleteHe needs your love and approval.
You can piss on his cringing, supplicating body, and he'd effusively thank you.
Throw the dude a bone once in a while.
Thanks Whitey, I thought the world of Maya Angelou. No better human has graced this planet. I will miss her.
ReplyDeleteMs.Nǚwáng said...
ReplyDeleteSteal a fish and he'll always be a racist, white republican.
-----
http://jaysolomon.files.wordpress.com/2008/10/white-people.jpg
You will never get that fish.
Anon2:45pm, stop pissing on yourself. You stink.
ReplyDeleteSorry to hear about Ms.Angelou, she was good people.
ReplyDeleteWC already has an honorary Field Negro card. Of course he passed with flying colors.
ReplyDeleteThe pale one needs NO quiz. Believe me. With the handcuffing of Black Children, Black Teens been THROWN THROUGH WINDOWS, & the shooting of UNARMED Black Teens by pale folks, is it any wonder why the WORLD DESPISE the PALE ONE ? I HATE RACIST PALE FOLKS with the WHITE HOT INTENSITY of a THOUSAND SUNS. We need COMPLETE SEPARATION from THEM & their WARPED MINDS. These CREATURES Will impose SANCTIONS on Black & Brown People for SO-CALLED " HUMAN RIGHTS VIOLATIONS. Are you kidding me, the way this BEASTS been COMPLICIT in the OVERTHROW of Governments in Africa, Iran, Guatemala, & Chile. H/LL is not HOT enough for these SATANIC BARBARIAN S.
ReplyDelete1) None of the above: Greet them and talk to them like anybody else
ReplyDelete2) None of the above: It's an ugly word.
3) None of the above: Listen to their message and decide if I agree with it or not.
4) D or None of the above: Go for it, car doors lock automatically when I hit 15-20.
5) B: Hell for the country
6) None of the above: Anything that has a good beat
7) None of the above: Irrelevent backwards idiots
8) None of the above: Depends on how they are acting
9) A: More liberal BS
10) False, don't believe in blanket statements.
11) False, see above
12) False, most commercials are not a reflection of my reality
13) False
14) True, but that is relatively true for all generations
15) False
field negro said...
ReplyDeleteWC already has an honorary Field Negro card. Of course he passed with flying colors.
----
Does that mean he's allowed to cup your balls?
"Who commits suicide at age 28 because he's sick to death of only eating fish."
ReplyDeleteHa!
"Teach a man to fish and be responsible for themselves and he will be a republican."
Just men huh? And they act like they don't have a war against women. Women can fish too ya know! Sexist!
"Would you call a white person that said that a racist?"
ReplyDeleteDepends.
"Give a man free food, welfare and no responsibilities to learn and achieve and he will always be a democrat."
Unless you're a hard working union member who supports the Dems because you know the gop hates unions and wants to outsource your job. That would make you smart. Now as for those who get free food and are on welfare who vote Republican...........
"If you've ever said "That's wayciss!" on any comment thread, or demonstrated your formidible name-calling skills by using such words as 'sheboon', 'jig', 'apes', 'Traycoon', 'Obamo', 'Obozo', 'Obummer', 'Moochelle', etc., then you are undoubtedly a snivelling, scum-scucking, bottom-feeding "wayciss". Next!"
ReplyDeleteGood point Pam. Problem is most racists don't know they're racist. What's that old joke about most klan members claiming they're not racist?
http://thinkprogress.org/justice/2014/05/28/3442176/63-percent-of-new-yorkers-arrested-for-gun-related-murder-charges-are-13-to-25-years-old/
ReplyDeleteInteresting article.
http://www.alternet.org/civil-liberties/casual-racism-v-institutionalized-racism?paging=off¤t_page=1#bookmark
ReplyDeleteInteresting article.
Geez X, you read some trash sites.
ReplyDeleteYou should try the reality-based community for a change.
"I HATE RACIST PALE FOLKS with the WHITE HOT INTENSITY of a THOUSAND SUNS"
ReplyDelete---
I don't know if I maybe I'm overreacting, but I'm sensing a hint of hostility here.
Perhaps you would like to come down to our next Sensitivity Night at the Presbyterian Church and speak to our group on how we can bridge some of the 'gaps' between our communities. It could be a very rewarding experience for all of us.
It's pot-luck so if you don't mind bringing a side dish, that would be great. Potato salad is always appreciated!
The iconic picture that we relate to the 60s- is that of a Black female child surrounded by four National Guards escorting her into the newly segregated school.
ReplyDeleteNow present day- the future iconic picture of today (2010s) will be that of the police escorting Black males OUT of the schools handcuffed.
Sorry to be off todays topic which entertained my inner soul. Many silent smiles for me. Thank you Brother Field.
The local schools now call police for ANY threat or negative interactions. So Brother Field's blog cause me to stop and pause.
What america needs to do is face the REALITY that PALE male PRIVILEGE is a MENTAL ILLNESS, but i won't hold my breath on that. I really believe that...
ReplyDeleteNO, I KNOW that RACIST pale folks MUST feel some REAL PAIN. The pale male is, without a doubt, T.H.E most SATANIC BARBARIAN in the known World. The EVILS of this CREATURE is second to NONE. Black Men DO NOT storm on a College Campus & Move House & CONSTANTLY GUN people down. These pale males are TERRORIST & UNSAFE in the GENERAL POPULATION. It's NOT Black Men in hoddies that concerns me, it's the PALE males. What makes theses you CREATURES behave the way you do ? Is it because pale folks have 90% DNA of the PRIME APE ? I don't know. And there's NO American CULTURE, I've found more CULTURE in an average pot of YOGURT. america is the most EVIL COUNTRY on Planet Earth & will be judged as T.H.E most BRUTAL in HIS-STORY. No other Country even comes close. Amazingly, the MAJORITY of pale folks DO NOT CARE. The CRIMINALLY CONTROLLED MEDIA serves as the BULLY or MUSCLE to MURDER & make WAR for this CRIMINAL CABAL.RACIST pale folks are the UGLY FACE of this EVIL & HATEFUL BIRD. RACIST pale folks are right there in the Worlds FACE using their Military to RAPE, MURDER, & STEAL whatever they want. WHY ? because these pale BARBARIANS think
they can do WWHATEVER THEY WANT.So keep it up PALE ONES, but know this, ALL THINGS must come to an END.
"NO, I KNOW that RACIST pale folks MUST feel some REAL PAIN. The pale male is, without a doubt, T.H.E most SATANIC BARBARIAN in the known World. The EVILS of this CREATURE is second to NONE"
ReplyDeleteStop beating around the bush! Tell us how you really feel.
"The local schools now call police for ANY threat or negative interactions. So Brother Field's blog cause me to stop and pause."
ReplyDeleteYeah, 16 year olds have fights. We all did it but now you go to jail. Sad.
"You should try the reality-based community for a change."
ReplyDeleteSuch as?
Catching up with old posts. This shoulda gone viral, Field. No. 3 is hilarious!
ReplyDelete