John, there is no cornbread and greens on here. This is an upper class menu for elites like us. Can't you go upscale just for once? You ARE the Minority Leader, you know.
Obama: Okay, so this is the final list of Tea Party congressmen we hate the most. Should I leave the flaming poop on their doorsteps, John, or do you want that honor?
Boehner: Flaming poop? What happened to that plan where we have your Secret Service guys shoot them? I liked that one better.
The President: Well, John, for someone whose last name is so close to boner, you sure were a limp speaker. Still, you know we're going to miss you after they elect the kind of shoutycracker imbecile we know they're going to elect. So good luck!
Well, he's a good dog I've had him for years He used to get up when I'd walk by Now he just lifts up his ears And he thumps his tail on the floor When I talk to him And when I talk too long he just ignores me And he goes to sleep again He's a good dog I got him as a pup I tried to teach him all the tricks But then I just gave up 'Cause he's never acted very bright Though his eyes they've got this glow And I think he actually knows some things that Actually I don't And he never barks at strangers But then he never barks at cars And he howls at the coyotes While they're howling at the stars And he scratches at the back door 'Till someone lets him in And then he scratches at the other side To get back out again He's a good dog One of these days I'm gonna have to drive him into town Have him put away 'Cause he don't hear that good no more And he can't hardly walk But until then I look at him And I say He's a good dog
Am here to testify what this great spell caster done for me. i never believe in spell casting, until when i was was tempted to try it. i and my husband have been having a lot of problem living together, he will always not make me happy because he have fallen in love with another lady outside our relationship, i tried my best to make sure that my husband leave this woman but the more i talk to him the more he makes me fell sad, so my marriage is now leading to divorce because he no longer gives me attention. so with all this pain and agony, i decided to contact this spell caster to see if things can work out between me and my husband again. this spell caster who was a woman told me that my husband is really under a great spell that he have been charm by some magic, so she told me that she was going to make all things normal back. she did the spell on my husband and after 5 days my husband changed completely he even apologize with the way he treated me that he was not him self, i really thank this woman her name is Dr Aluta she have bring back my husband back to me i want you all to contact her who are having any problem related to marriage issue and relationship problem she will solve it for you. her email is traditionalspellhospital@gmail.com she is a woman and she is great. wish you good time. He cast spells for different purposes
Propaganda - Several environmental groups are planning a major climate rally that will draw hundreds of thousands to the National Mall on Sept. 24, the day Pope Francis speaks to Congress and is expected to address the public afterwards http://www.washingtonpost.com/news/energy-environment/wp/2015/08/25/for-pope-franciss-d-c-visit-environmental-rally-of-up-to-200k-planned/
Reality - Pope’s Visit To D.C. Inspires Hundreds To Rally For Climate Justice http://thinkprogress.org/climate/2015/09/24/3705248/climate-justice-rally-pope-francis/?utm_source=feedly&utm_medium=webfeeds
"Obama: Okay, so this is the final list of Tea Party congressmen we hate the most. Should I leave the flaming poop on their doorsteps, John, or do you want that honor?
Boehner: Flaming poop? What happened to that plan where we have your Secret Service guys shoot them? I liked that one better."
So I predicted a speech by Boehner, drunk and wearing only his tighty-whities, in which he rips the Tea Party a new one.
He has now delivered. Well, not on the tight-whiteys part -- that was only wishful thinking on my part. And I don't know how intoxicated Boehner was; I leave that determination to those who actually witnessed his speech.
But he definitely didn't mince words about his House colleagues:
“The Bible says: ‘Beware of false prophets.’ There are people out there spreading noise about how much can get done.”
He went on: “We have groups here in town, members of the House and Senate, who whip people into a frenzy believing they can accomplish things that they know – they know – can never happen.”
He made a further swipe at the radical right when he gave his advice for future Republican members of Congress: “Have the courage to do what you can do – it’s easy to do what you can’t do.”
“The whole idea that we were going to shut down the government to get rid of Obamacare in 2013, this plan never had a chance,” he said, adding that it was a “fool’s errand”.
Asked whether he counted Ted Cruz, the senator for Texas who is running for the Republican presidential nomination, as one of his “false prophets”, the speaker replied: “You could pick a lot of names. I’ll leave you to choose them.”
Having demurred, he then pointedly alluded to a speech at a recent fundraiser in which he had called Cruz a “jackass”.
My only criticism is that he should've dropped more f-bombs.
I protest! My entries were the best. Don't you wish to reconsider, And admit your choice was just in jest, 'Cause my heart is growin' bitter, From this hopeless, empty quest.
"John, you should have kept your job as speaker...this is the poll and umm that is the closest your azz was gonna get to the white house. By the way, tears at your resignation...nice touch."
Well, he's a good dog I've had him for years He used to get up when I'd walk by Now he just lifts up his ears And he thumps his tail on the floor When I talk to him And when I talk too long he just ignores me And he goes to sleep again He's a good dog I got him as a pup I tried to teach him all the tricks But then I just gave up 'Cause he's never acted very bright Though his eyes they've got this glow And I think he actually knows some things that Actually I don't And he never barks at strangers But then he never barks at cars And he howls at the coyotes While they're howling at the stars And he scratches at the back door 'Till someone lets him in And then he scratches at the other side To get back out again He's a good dog One of these days I'm gonna have to drive him into town Have him put away 'Cause he don't hear that good no more And he can't hardly walk But until then I look at him And I say He's a good dog
John, there is no cornbread and greens on here. This is an upper class menu for elites like us. Can't you go upscale just for once? You ARE the Minority Leader, you know.
ReplyDeleteObama: Okay, so this is the final list of Tea Party congressmen we hate the most. Should I leave the flaming poop on their doorsteps, John, or do you want that honor?
ReplyDeleteBoehner: Flaming poop? What happened to that plan where we have your Secret Service guys shoot them? I liked that one better.
Anon11:19pm, that was funny. You have my vote for the best caption. No one can beat it.
ReplyDeleteObama: This is the latest in high-tech gadgetry, I can see them but they can't see me.
ReplyDeleteBoehner: The latest, Mr. President? You're looking through a hole in that thing.
Obama: This is the latest in high-tech gadgetry, I can see them but they can't see me.
ReplyDeleteBoehner: The latest, Mr. President? You're looking through a hole in that thing.
The President: Well, John, for someone whose last name is so close to boner, you sure were a limp speaker. Still, you know we're going to miss you after they elect the kind of shoutycracker imbecile we know they're going to elect. So good luck!
ReplyDelete-Doug inOakland
Obama: I can't believe that Detroit Democratic fool lit his lighter at the gas pump.
ReplyDeleteBoehner: I can.
http://www.usatoday.com/story/news/2015/09/26/man-causes-fire-at-gas-station-after-trying-to-burn-spider-as-he-filled-his-car/72903236/
Well, he's a good dog
ReplyDeleteI've had him for years
He used to get up when I'd walk by
Now he just lifts up his ears
And he thumps his tail on the floor
When I talk to him
And when I talk too long he just ignores me
And he goes to sleep again
He's a good dog
I got him as a pup
I tried to teach him all the tricks
But then I just gave up
'Cause he's never acted very bright
Though his eyes they've got this glow
And I think he actually knows some things that
Actually I don't
And he never barks at strangers
But then he never barks at cars
And he howls at the coyotes
While they're howling at the stars
And he scratches at the back door
'Till someone lets him in
And then he scratches at the other side
To get back out again
He's a good dog
One of these days
I'm gonna have to drive him into town
Have him put away
'Cause he don't hear that good no more
And he can't hardly walk
But until then I look at him
And I say
He's a good dog
Obama's Farewell to His Nemesis,
ReplyDeleteJohn Boehner.
You were always there,
A sidekick more kick than side,
Someone of whom to beware,
Who showed more pluck that pride.
You were always near,
A speed-dial away on my Blackberry,
More threatening than Rosey Grier,
Though you told me not to worry.
You were always smilin'
Sure smiles to hide the tears
Only moments away from cryin'
Into mugs that held our beers.
You were always singin'
About a "Wonderful Day"
Not that one was breakin',
But to keep the pain away.
Copyrighted 9-26-2015 by the author.
All rights reserved.
@Doug: I love "shoutycracker."
ReplyDeleteSums up the whole Tea Party constituency.
Are you a poet?
anotherbozo said...
ReplyDelete@Doug: I love "shoutycracker."
Sums up the whole Tea Party constituency.
Are you a poet?
How bout them, Smelly Coons in the CBC?
No, I shamelessly stole that word from one of my favorite bloggers, Driftglass.
ReplyDelete-Doug in Oakland
ReplyDeleteAm here to testify what this great spell caster done for me. i never believe in spell casting, until when i was was tempted to try it. i and my husband have been having a lot of problem living together, he will always not make me happy because he have fallen in love with another lady outside our relationship, i tried my best to make sure that my husband leave this woman but the more i talk to him the more he makes me fell sad, so my marriage is now leading to divorce because he no longer gives me attention. so with all this pain and agony, i decided to contact this spell caster to see if things can work out between me and my husband again. this spell caster who was a woman told me that my husband is really under a great spell that he have been charm by some magic, so she told me that she was going to make all things normal back. she did the spell on my husband and after 5 days my husband changed completely he even apologize with the way he treated me that he was not him self, i really thank this woman her name is Dr Aluta she have bring back my husband back to me i want you all to contact her who are having any problem related to marriage issue and relationship problem she will solve it for you. her email is traditionalspellhospital@gmail.com she is a woman and she is great. wish you good time.
He cast spells for different purposes
ReplyDeletePropaganda meets reality.
Propaganda -
Several environmental groups are planning a major climate rally that will draw hundreds of thousands to the National Mall on Sept. 24, the day Pope Francis speaks to Congress and is expected to address the public afterwards
http://www.washingtonpost.com/news/energy-environment/wp/2015/08/25/for-pope-franciss-d-c-visit-environmental-rally-of-up-to-200k-planned/
Reality -
Pope’s Visit To D.C. Inspires Hundreds To Rally For Climate Justice
http://thinkprogress.org/climate/2015/09/24/3705248/climate-justice-rally-pope-francis/?utm_source=feedly&utm_medium=webfeeds
Hundreds of thousands down to hundreds.
Ouch.
"Obama: Okay, so this is the final list of Tea Party congressmen we hate the most. Should I leave the flaming poop on their doorsteps, John, or do you want that honor?
ReplyDeleteBoehner: Flaming poop? What happened to that plan where we have your Secret Service guys shoot them? I liked that one better."
Winner so far.
So I predicted a speech by Boehner, drunk and wearing only his tighty-whities, in which he rips the Tea Party a new one.
ReplyDeleteHe has now delivered. Well, not on the tight-whiteys part -- that was only wishful thinking on my part. And I don't know how intoxicated Boehner was; I leave that determination to those who actually witnessed his speech.
But he definitely didn't mince words about his House colleagues:
“The Bible says: ‘Beware of false prophets.’ There are people out there spreading noise about how much can get done.”
He went on: “We have groups here in town, members of the House and Senate, who whip people into a frenzy believing they can accomplish things that they know – they know – can never happen.”
He made a further swipe at the radical right when he gave his advice for future Republican members of Congress: “Have the courage to do what you can do – it’s easy to do what you can’t do.”
“The whole idea that we were going to shut down the government to get rid of Obamacare in 2013, this plan never had a chance,” he said, adding that it was a “fool’s errand”.
Asked whether he counted Ted Cruz, the senator for Texas who is running for the Republican presidential nomination, as one of his “false prophets”, the speaker replied: “You could pick a lot of names. I’ll leave you to choose them.”
Having demurred, he then pointedly alluded to a speech at a recent fundraiser in which he had called Cruz a “jackass”.
My only criticism is that he should've dropped more f-bombs.
B:Wait, this is the secret Republican to reclaim the White House? Uhhhhhh, looks like the lyrics to Destiny Child's "No No No" to me.
ReplyDeleteJ: That's right. We all jump up like in Glee and start singing everytime you say anything.
B: Good luck with that.
A Plea To the Bench
ReplyDeleteI protest!
My entries were the best.
Don't you wish to reconsider,
And admit your choice was just in jest,
'Cause my heart is growin' bitter,
From this hopeless, empty quest.
That's right. We all jump up like in Glee and start singing everytime you say anything
ReplyDelete"John, you should have kept your job as speaker...this is the poll and umm that is the closest your azz was gonna get to the white house. By the way, tears at your resignation...nice touch."
ReplyDeleteSee ya later Orange Man, Mr. Black Around the Gills.
ReplyDeleteWell, he's a good dog
ReplyDeleteI've had him for years
He used to get up when I'd walk by
Now he just lifts up his ears
And he thumps his tail on the floor
When I talk to him
And when I talk too long he just ignores me
And he goes to sleep again
He's a good dog
I got him as a pup
I tried to teach him all the tricks
But then I just gave up
'Cause he's never acted very bright
Though his eyes they've got this glow
And I think he actually knows some things that
Actually I don't
And he never barks at strangers
But then he never barks at cars
And he howls at the coyotes
While they're howling at the stars
And he scratches at the back door
'Till someone lets him in
And then he scratches at the other side
To get back out again
He's a good dog
One of these days
I'm gonna have to drive him into town
Have him put away
'Cause he don't hear that good no more
And he can't hardly walk
But until then I look at him
And I say
He's a good dog