Real men needed to make boys into men.

I recently read a story about a poor woman from Walker, Louisiana who was murdered by her own son. The details of the case were stomach churning.

The young man was clearly troubled, and somewhere along the way he lost his sense of humanity. And sadly, as is often the case with these types of stories, he had no father in his life.

I picked up on that sad ---and all too familiar--- tidbit towards the end of the story.

"Island, though, had a “really hard life” that included a troubled relationship with his mother, Singh said.

Singh said Island told him that Wooley would not let Island leave his home, though Island did run away one time to a nearby apartment. He said Island told him that at times, Wooley would abuse Island.

But Island also had a tattoo of his mother’s name on his chest, Singh said.
“He never really acted like anything was wrong,” Singh said.

Island had mentioned being from California and said his father would send him money in the mail, Singh said.

“But he (the father) was never really around,” Singh said."

Oh yes, his father sperm donor was never around.

This is a recurring theme. And it is one that I have blogged about in the past.

Our community would be so much better off if the men among us would do a better job of being fathers to their children. Particularly their sons. I know this from my professional experience as both a criminal defense lawyer and a magistrate in the family court system. It is a serious problem.

I got into a discussion on this subject on twitter earlier with some sisters after retweeting an article from Boyce Watkins. He was telling single mothers how to raise a "sorry black man". And, as is to be expected, they pushed back. "Why is it always the poor mothers who get called out?" "Oh yeah, as usual, blame the poor woman." Ok I get it. And what people like Mr. Watkins should get is that without the sperm donor who brought the "sorry black man" here, the job of the "single [black] mother" gets that much harder. And of course the single black mother has to realize that before she becomes a single black mother she has to make better choices when it comes to the men in her life as well.

Watkins opines: "My own mother was a 17-year old single mom until she married my second father three years after I was born.  And it was her commitment to raising me with more discipline than my male friends that guided me away from the same gutters, prison cells,  and rehab clinics that many of them occupy to this day.So, if you want your son to grow up to be a horrible father and husband for somebody else, here are a few things you can do".... Stop!

She should not have to raise her son alone, period. And shame on the next man who is going to cause that single black mother to have to do it.