What would the Colonel do?

I have to hurry up and do this post, because I have to catch my birds play the stinking cow-girls later.

I caught my man Dave Wilson from The Grio on NBC this morning , and he was talking about the latest controversy surrounding black folks.

This one involves a KFC ad. that dealt with a poor Aussie stuck between a bunch of Yawdies and fellow West Indians while his cricket team plays the Windies. Dude breaks out a bucket of chicken and the natives are suddenly cool with him. The point of the ad. seems to be, break out some chicken around black folks, and no matter what the situation, they will be distracted. Because when it comes to black folks, it's all about the chicken.

Now here is the thing: folks have been sending me e-mails about this ad. ever since it went viral, and Honestly, I saw the insensitivity of it, but I never expected it to get any play with anyone else besides us racism chasers. Why? Well, over the past few months, I have seen many instances of corporate insensitivity to black folks, and the Aussies showing their clulessness. So this was just par for the course as far as I am concerned.

I want to also state for the record, that I understand more than anyone how passionate Windies fans are about their cricket and the intense rivalry with Australia. Which is what makes this ad. so fraudulent and bogus to begin with. There is no way in hell that a damn bucket of chicken could distract a bunch of West Indians from focusing on their cricket. (Especially in a "Test Series" with the Aussies.) So that's two strikes against the clueless ad. execs.

Anyway, as is usually the case, it's mea culpas all around; the ad. has been pulled, and all is well that ends well. No one wants to offend those black A-merry-cans and their newly elected president. Besides, KFC knows who is buttering their bread.

"KFC Australia is removing the television advertisement that was being run in conjunction with the Australian cricket season," the chicken fast food giant announced in a statement."We apologise for any misinterpretation of the ad as it was not meant to offend anyone."

So it's all good Colonel. You have to do a whole lot more than that to pull us black folks away from you.

Give me chicken or give me death!

Ahhh hell no! Sorry, I am going to have to get with my patio dwelling friend, Oprah, on this one.

Oprah, have you lost your mind? Why are you lending your name to a KFC giveaway? I know times are hard and I guess you want us black folks to eat right by eating that new grilled chicken they are serving up (not going to work, my cousins love them some fried chicken and the original recipe too damn much), but you have got to stop it. Your little stunt damn near caused the folks in New York to have to call the National Guard. FREE CHICKEN? IN THIS ECONOMIC CLIMATE? AND IN NEW YORK? Oprah that's just asking for trouble. Some news outlets are even saying that your giveaway, or lack of it, sparked "civil rights era protest" . CIVIL RIGHTS ERA PROTEST OVER SOME DAMN CHICKEN? So this is how a revolution starts: Promise a bunch of chicken loving A-murder-cans freebies and not deliver.

Black folks are crying "fried chicken racism." Come on field, it is racism. I bet if they had freebies at Starbucks they wouldn't run out. Can't you see it field, it's the man trying to keep us chicken lovers down. Oprah should be ashamed of herself. Well yeah, she should be ashamed of herself. But it should be for agreeing to do this promotion with KFC in the first damn place. Like she needs the money. *

Look Oprah, you don't need this right now. Not when some of my blogging buddies have been ripping you---and rightfully so--- for supporting the latest in a line of celebrity loons.

And black folks can we talk? What the hell is it with you all and these damn chickens? (Even though all I see are white people in *this pic. [Except for my two cousins in the back. Get out people!]) Field don't front like you don't love you some chicken. OK I won't front. I love me some chicken, too. But damn it I won't stage a sit in if I can't get a two piece with two sides. That shit is embarrassing. And white folks if any of you were involved you ought to be ashamed of your damn selves as well. In fact, I know some of you were involved because the free coupons were on Oprah's site and you all love Oprah.

Oh well, all is well that ends well. I think Queen O has said they are getting things together and everyone will be able to get their free chicken. The president of KFC has issued a formal apology, and A-murder-ca is back to normal. No more chicken riots.

Go figure, swine flu and chicken riots. I know one thing; I would rather be a pig than a chicken in A-murder-ca right about now.

It's the presentation.

I just got home from a night out with Mrs. Field. Hey it's Friday evening and there is no such thing as a home cooked meal in the field's household during a weekday. The field wanted to go to Olive Garden or KFC, but Mrs. Field had other ideas. She wanted to go fancy tonight.

Now I must confess, that I have never been into all of these really fancy restaurants. I mean presentation is great, but I just want the food to taste good, and get plenty of it. Mrs.Field, on the other hand, is into that shit, the presentation. "Oh that looks wonderful, doesn't it field?". No, it looks like it should have been in the middle of our table when we sat down. I mean are we going to eat it or take pictures of it?

So we head to one of these fancy joints on the 1600 block of Walnut Street (you folks from Philly know where this is, so you get the idea of the type of joint I am talking about ), and I tried to make a last ditch effort to get out of it by saying something like; "honey you know we need reservations for this place." But Mrs. Field, of course, had that covered. She had called earlier to make reservations for two. One wife and a sucker.

After paying $20 to valet the damn car (that could have been a bucket at KFC right there) I still had to wait 30 minutes to finally get seated. I swear everyone in the joint could hear my stomach growling by now. Then, of course, when the menu came, I didn't understand a fucking word of it. I think it was in French but I couldn't be sure. ( I swear these guys just make up their own shit)

I proceeded to tell our waiter that I didn't want anything with pork in it, or with any sauce unless it was white or red in color. "Of course sir". You ever wonder what the waiter is saying to himself when he is waiting on your table? And why do they always look like they could use a meal their damn selves? But I digress.

I think I ordered the "pen roasted organic chicken" (Come on, like you didn't know it was going to order something with chicken in it. When in doubt always order the chicken). PEN ROASTED ORGANIC? And I had it with something named black truffle pomme puree [sic]. I had to call Mrs. Field to be reminded of the name of that one. "Oh look honey doesn't that look wonderful?" I must confess that it didn't taste all that bad, but after cleaning up a portion that wouldn't have satisfied Webster, I was still hungry

On our way home, much to Mrs. Fields displeasure, we stopped at Taco Bell so that your boy could get a couple of soft tacos. "What is wrong with you Negro, how could you eat this crap after a meal like that?" Ahhh, because I am still hungry. And you know what? The Tacos actually tasted better.