Billie can you spare a dime?

I have found a new hero in these divided states of A-merry-ca. I have found someone who is truly worthy of Sainthood, and who we should put in our country's history books when the story of this period in our great history is written. My fellow A-merry-cans, let us all raise our glasses to Billie Watts, of Murfeesboro, Tennessee.

In case you haven't heard this story, let me give you the 411 real quick: It seems that Billie found $97K in the rest room of a "Cracker Barrel" restaurant. (Do they have banks down South?) And then, incredibly, she gave it back. Let me repeat that for you: SHE GAVE IT BACK!

Now, I understand that Billie is 75 years old, and maybe now that she is in the golden years of her life, money just doesn't mean quite as much to her. Hell maybe she is quite well off and doesn't need some extra spending money for this holiday season (Although if she is well off, I doubt that she would have been eating at a Cracker Barrel.) But damn it Billie, did you have to give ALL of it back? Couldn't you have slipped a few stacks of those $1,000 bills in your purse?

"Satan will tempt you. I have been having real bad teeth problems," said Billie Watts, 75. "I thought 'I'll get my teeth fixed.'" '

Ahh, that explains it, a church going lady. That darn satan will do the damnedest things to cause us to stray, won't he?

But anyway, I love the part where Billie actually took the money home, thought about it, and then called the restaurant to ask about their lost and found. Hello is this Cracker Barrel Restaurant? Yes mam, my name is Billie Watts, and I was there today and I found this wonderful tapestry bag with some pictures in it. Did someone report a missing tapestry bag? Oh they did? Wonderful! I have the bag right here with all their pictures.......oh no mam, nothing else, just some pictures.... I knew one thing when I read this story; Billie was NOT one of my cousins. No way. Shoot! Had she been one of my cousins (or me for that matter) the conversation would have gone just like I just wrote it. Hell times are hard out here. "Finders keepers".

And did you read about what happened next? The grateful owner of the money offered Billie $1,000 for her troubles. ONE THOUSAND DOLLARS! Billie refused. Thanks but no thanks, just doing my civic duty, it just wouldn't feel right to take a reward for doing the right thing.....

From corrupt Governors in Illinois, to honest little old ladies in Tennessee. It's one of the things I love about A-merry-ca; you can always find some balance.

Senate seat going once, going twice.....

I had lunch at Maggiano's (a fine Italian restaurant here in my fair city) today, and I stuffed my face with some nice crisp chicken parmesan. Why? Because I got caught up in this Corruptgo hype and all the sleaziness going on in that city. And, for a brief moment, I thought that my Broad Street run would be safe. After all I thought, when the U.S. Attorney stopped digging into all the slime that surrounded Corruptgo politics, they would be sure to find a certain skinny black man with a Muslim name at the bottom of it all. You Negroes would have to start canceling those hotel rooms you booked in D.C. for the inauguration. At least that was the frame of mind I was in.

And can you blame me? I mean there was Jessie Jr. (Forget Donovan McNabb, this is the new #5 from Corruptgo) doing his best Richard Nixon I am not a crook imitation for the press. There was the screaming heads from the right, circling the waters and hoping for some Obama blood (Hell the guy is at a 75% approval rating right now, and he hasn't even taken office yet. You know that these folks are just itching to take him down by any means necessary ).There was the talking heads all over the cable news shows going on and on about the crooked Governor with the bad haircut. So if I had a momentary lapse in sanity please forgive me, for a minute there it just felt like the election season all over again.

But I have said this here before and I will repeat it: Barack Hussein Obama strikes me as an individual that is driven more by a need to be great than to be rich. So that, for now, seems to be his saving grace. Still, the guy is from Corruptgo, and to come through that sewer without even the smell of shit on him would be damn near impossible. I still think Antoin "Tony" Rezko might have some singing to do to the feds. I just don't know if the tune he sings will have some verses with the letter O in it.

"I reject and denounce pay to play politics and have no involvement whatsoever in any wrong doing,... I did not initiate or authorize anyone, at anytime, to promise anything to governor Blagojevich on my behalf. I never sent a message or an emissary to the governor to make an offer, or plea my case, or to propose a deal about a US Senate seat.." ~Jessie Jackson, Jr.~

I repeat: I did not lust after that actress Lark Voorhies.....

Book him Patrick.

*

I have to write something about this story, I just can't resist. It seems that "Serbian Obama" done went and got himself into some mess. He is called the "Serbian Obama" because according to one publication, like a certain chosen one, he is "young, handsome, and articulate". Well we can now add stupid to that list.


Let me get this straight: Governor Rod Blagojevich tried to sell Barack Husein Obama's senate seat to the highest bidder? And, to top it off, they caught this genius on tape like some old mob boss threatening people and trying to cut back room deals to the highest bidder. My god man have you no shame? Where do you think you live, Philly? I thought only our pols had corruption issues and liked to play phone tag with the feds? Seems I was wrong. Apparently they have a history down there in the land of Lincoln and in the "Windy City"as well. (Damn it, they won't let Philly be first in anything) Poor Rod, he just wanted to line his pockets and get rich like all the other greedy politicians. He heard about that $90,000.00 in "Dollar Bill's" refrigerator and he got jealous.




"I want to make money,"

Blago, you make $300,000.00 per year. Come on man, that ain't too bad. Why do you need more?


"If ... they're not going to offer anything of any value, then I might just take it" —


Naw, you wouldn't want that job Blago, not enough money for you. Although, I am sure you would go wild with all those lobbyist in Washington. Still, I have to wonder how a guy who knew the feds were on his butt like size seven jeans on J-Lo, would be on the damn phone of all places cutting deals. Hey Blago, there is a little thing called a wire tap, you might want to read up on it in the future...ahh never mind, you don't have a future.

And I love how his O ness distanced himself from this guy. I thought it was mighty strange that the governor of his home state didn't even get any speeches during the O man's campaign. O man your political instincts are starting to scare me. You are as smart as this guy was dumb. It's hard to believe that you both came up through the same machine.


U.S. Attorney, Patrick Fitzgerald called Blago's behavior "appalling", he characterized Blago as a man who led a "corruption crime spree". Oh ohh. Those are tough words from the man who convicted Scooter. Mr. Blagojevich, if I were you, I would start planning a future without the creature comforts of home.


Oh well, here is hoping that Blago (Serbian Obama) enjoys his little time away. Hey, look at the bright side Governor, at the end of his term, maybe, just maybe, your home boy will give you a pardon.














*Thanks for the pic ArtMaggot.

We are in a recession: it might be cheaper to keep her.

Every now and then I need to get some help from you, my field Negro (and honorary field Negro) friends, about some issues that I struggle with.

Now I don't want to be too cryptic, but I write under certain constraints that I don't want to get into, so forgive me if I am not my usual forthcoming self with you.

Anyway, I have a hypothetical question for you folks:

Why is it that some men choose to leave their perfectly intact family, (or a child they fathered) and hook up with a new par amour who has children of her own, and then he treats those step children better than his own? But even worse; if there is an obligation to pay support to his biological children, where does he get the audacity to ask the court to reduce his support order because he has the added responsibility of a new family?

And another thing: why is it that non-custodial parents who are women refuse to pay child support? They could make a million dollars a year and you would have to bring them into support court kicking and screaming to take care of their obligations. One woman told me that she carried that child for nine months and felt the pain of bearing him, so she would be damned if she would give money to some man who got custody of their child for the sole purpose of not paying child support.

Oh, and brothers, just a thought here: Unless you have Will Smith type loot; It's hard to build wealth when you have three different child support payments coming out of your check. I don't care how much money you make, most state child support guidelines make support orders proportionate to your income. So you might want to think about that the next time you go wetting your whistle after peeking a big butt and a smile. It's not only your health you have to think about, it's your financial future as well.

But those were just some hypothetical situations, and I was just thinking out loud.

Stay away from corruption Mr. Cao.

There is hope for my peeps after all. Looks like they finally voted out that crook, Dollar Bill Jefferson. Yes my friends, you all know how I feel about corrupt politicians, so I was quite thrilled to hear of this bit of news. The fact that Anh "Joseph" Cao is a republican makes no difference to me. If he is going to do a better job of serving the 2nd congressional district of Louisiana, well then good for him.

It's nice to see black folks rejecting corruption and patronage. (Although I have to wonder why this clown was in the run off in the first place) Now granted, the turnout was low (12% among black people) and Cao only won by two percentage points, but I don't ever want to hear that black people just blindly vote for the black guy because he is black again. That has never been true, and now, hopefully, people will stop saying it. Cao is a Vietnamese immigrant, (the first Vietnamese American to go to Congress) and his election makes Louisiana the one state where the rethugs can brag about a bigger tent. Their Governor is an Indian American, and now their Congressman from the 2nd district is a person of color as well. Good for the "boot."



I just hope the rethugs are taking notes. The demographics of the country is changing, you should try to change with it. You should be reaching out to more aspiring politicians of color to carry your party's banner and deliver your message.

As for Jefferson, his three decades of political power and patronage is history. And apparently quite a few of his cronies were voted out of local offices as well. So it looks like lights out for Dollar Bill, and for all practical purposes, his political career is over.

It couldn't have happened to a more deserving guy.


Mr. Cao, I don't know if you will be in Washington very long, and that might be a blessing for you. Look what Washington did to Bill Jefferson.

Bargain shopping.

I know the world is going to hell in a hand basket, and there is plenty of crap that I could be posting about. But sometimes the mind works in mysterious ways.

For instance, today I was out running around with Mrs. Field, and we just happened to pull into one of those strip malls that dot the A-merry-can landscape. The thing about strip malls is that if you play your cards right you can do damn near all of your shopping in one of those bad boys.

So anywho, there I was driving around the parking lot, looking for a parking space, when I spotted a sign that said, 89 CENT STORE. Yes, I said an 89 CENT STORE. Now I have no problem with bargains, and I love the fact that you can walk into a store and pretty much know the price of every damn thing in the place. And I am not going to front; I have been known to hit the Dollar store a time or two. You can get some well needed household necessities in the Dollar Store, so don't act like it's only me. But when is enough enough? I mean when I first saw a $5 or less store I thought it was kind of cool. At the time there were tons of stuff you could stock it with that cost $5 or less. Then I saw the $1 store, and I thought to myself that there was no way that they could pull it off. How could you stock an entire store with shit that cost $1 or less? But stock they did, and apparently it worked. How else do you explain the proliferation of $1 stores all over the damn place.

But an 89 CENT STORE? Come on now, again I say: where does it end? I mean I know times are hard but how much shit can you find for eighty nine cents? And it's not a lie, they mean that shit. Everything in the damn store is eighty nine cents or less. I know there are stores with Dollar in the title (down South they have a ton of them) such as "Dollar General", "Family Dollar", " and Dollar Plus". But there are lots of different prices in those stores. Believe me, my mother in law, bless her heart, does damn near all of her shopping in one such store down in South Louisiana. But to guarantee that nothing in your store will be over eighty nine cents? Wow! Could a FIFTY CENTS OR LESS store be far behind?

But hey, times are hard, cities are printing their own money now. So pretty soon they might have stores where we can just go in and barter shit. THE YOU TELL US YOUR PRICE STORE. Hell the shopping experience couldn't be any worse than it is at Wal Mart. I think I might be on to something.

White America, we are even: You gave us the O man, and we gave you OJ.

The Juice will be 70 before he is loose again. He tried to work his magic on one more white woman but she wasn't having it.

"I'm not here to sentence Mr. Simpson for what's happened in his life previously in the criminal justice system. ... The jury decided. There are many people who disagree with that verdict, but that doesn't matter to me."...

Yeah, sure your Honor. But here is the thing: us black folks would understand if the Juice had gotten the maximum. We set his ass free once and he couldn't keep his stupid ass out of trouble. And what he doesn't understand is that it wasn't even about him. Hell we knew he did it. We set him free for all the men who were lynched down South without a trial. We set him free for all the innocent men who sit and rot in prison because they are poor or because of their race. We set him free because of all the Rodney Kings who weren't caught on tape. We set him free because the L.A.P.D. had declared war on on some of their own citizens, and racist like Mark Fuhrman had infiltrated their ranks. That's why his guilty butt was set free.

So white A-merry-ca, we are even now. You helped to give us Obama, and you finally got OJ. I am glad you are not still mad at us for our little moment of celebration the first time the Juice was set loose. But you have to understand; we needed it then. Shit wasn't going too well for us as a people. We had just come through the Reagan years, and Clinton was still all a glow over his Sister Souljah moment. So we needed something, anything, to help us say, fuck you whitey.
But those days are over now. Hell it seems like such a long time ago. Now we have a black president, a black man who has worn the "Green Jacket", two black coaches in the same Super Bowl; and, of course, Oprah. Is this Utopia or what?

So sorry Juice, we won't be taking to the streets for you like we did for Rodney King. You better hope your lawyer does a good job on your appeal, but somehow I don't think if Johnny himself came back from the dead he would be able to save you this time. So get used to prison life, and try to make the best of it. Write a book or something, and stay out of trouble. Oh, and watch your "Naked Gun." (I couldn't resist)

"I stand before you today sorry, somewhat confused,...I feel apologetic to the people of the state of Nevada."This was the first time I had the opportunity to catch these guys red-handed who'd been stealing from me and my family…In no way did I mean to hurt anybody or steal anything from anyone. I didn't want anybody else's stuff, I wanted my own... I wasn't there to hurt anybody, I just wanted my personal things,I was stupid, I'm sorry, I didn't know I was doing anything illegal. I thought I was confronting friends and retrieving my own property."

You know who I feel sorry for? Clarence C.J. Stewart, the poor guy who was sentenced with the Juice today. Poor Clarence, doesn't he realize that bad things happen when you hang with this guy? Although maybe I shouldn't feel so sorry for him after all; because at least he is still alive. Still, President Bush if you are reading this, and if you happen to have any of those pardons left, could you hook old C.J. up please? It won't make us forget Katrina, but it's a start.

We almost stopped the "jigging".

*

"The remaining case with the highest profile is Donofrio vs. Wells. Because it was distributed by Supreme Court Justice Clarence Thomas to other justices for conference, it gained undue importance for people unschooled in how the court works...."

In case you were wondering, Donofrio vs. Wells is the one case which could derail the Presidency of his O ness. So let's consider that name I highlighted for a minute:

Does it strike anyone reading this as ironic that the lone black man on the Supreme Court of these divided states is the one member of the Supremes who gave this case a snow ball's chance in hell of surviving? Does it strike anyone as ironic that one of the people who sued to have the certification of the O man's votes halted was a black man? (Alan Keys) I am not surprised. You see, I understand what Malcolm was talking about. A lot of you hate that house Negro field Negro metaphor because you think it divides is. But it doesn't. It was simply his way of commenting about our condition at the time. A condition which still persists today, and which is as relevant now as it ever was.

What really divides us is the hearts and souls of these men. These wimpy insecure self hating men, who lack moral courage or fortitude, and who would do anything to get a pat on the head from certain people while giving certain other people their asses to kiss. Remember that brotha ( I don't even remember his name, his 15 minutes are up) who was doing a jig for all those republicans while begging Mr. Morton not to let Obama win? He is an example of that sickness.

So now guess who is praying real hard that this Obama birth certificate story (please read the comments after this story) has real legs and that the Supremes will actually take it up? Yep, the Negroes avoiding the "colored section" like it was a plague. Those Negroes are keeping their fingers crossed all over A-merry-ca, because if somehow this story would take his O ness down, they would become relevant again, and the head pats could flow.

Relevant and happy. Let the jigging begin.

*Thank you "Moveable Feast "for allowing me to steal that pic from your site

You better come clean Obama, before it's too late. Are you an American citizen?

*
Barrack Hussein Obama why won't you produce your birth certificate for the A-merry-can people? Are you afraid that you will be discovered and it could trigger a constitutional crisis? The truth will set you free Obama, it will set all of us free. And people of good will are not giving up this fight. They will press on until the truth is made known to every A-merry-can who might have been fooled by you....

And we can thank Philip Berg for carrying on this fight. Yes he lost a round to the Pennsylvania Supremes but what do they know? The Supreme Court of these divided States will be next, and the truth will be sure to come out t then. Barack Hessian Obama was born in Kenya, and he renounced his A-merry-can citizenship years ago. Look it up. Open your eyes people, real A-merry-cans are all over this Obama charade......


No, but seriously, I thought this whole Obama wasn't a citizen thing was over and done with. Hell even some of the loofs on the right (a loof is a backwards fool in case you were wondering)realized that this claim was a little....well, ridiculous. But the Chicago Tribune, a well respected paper, actually allowed these conspiracy folks to take out a full page ad. (*see pic above) and some of the folks on the right are looking for something, anything, to keep that Negro out of the people's house. This, in spite of the fact that the case has been tossed by various state Supreme Courts and the Obama camp actually produced the O man's actual birth certificate.



Oh come on field haven't you ever heard of Photoshop? But don't laugh people, one of the cases might actually become a full blown case before the Supremes ,because it is scheduled for a conference on December 5th. Now I don't want to scare you Obamaholics, but it looks like the Justice who moved the memo along which allowed the case to be scheduled for a conference, was none other than your favorite Uncle. Yeah, that one. Hey, the Supremes gave us one President we didn't want, wouldn't it be like them to take away one that we did.









I know the chances are slim, but there is still a chance that I might not have to make that little "au naturale" run after all. Isn't A-merry-ca full of surprises?

Black poli-trick-ster alert!

Oh boy, here we go again, another black official "done went and done" me wrong post.

Can someone please tell me what is wrong with these Negroes? Why must they betray the public trust like this? Why does it seem like there is one of these elected house Negroes in every city and state?

Here is the thing Larry: All those folks who felt the wrath of Bull Conner's dogs and the sting of the fire hoses on their backs, didn't do it so that your black ass could get elected Mayor of their city one day, just to be able to fly up to New York and have Rolex watches and jewelry given to you at the expense of the interests of the citizens you serve. The days of lining your pockets just because you could are over. Didn't you get the memo? A black man is President now. You can't cry racism while stealing from us anymore, that crap will not fly in the age of Obama.

But field, the guy was charged with a crime, he was not convicted. As a lawyer you should know better than rushing to judgement like this. Yeah okay. Funny thing about those feds though, when they throw in all those indictments (101) they usually get you on at least one. But I am not a juror in a court room, I am a blogger writing in the Internet. And I don't have to use the legal standard to judge Mayor Langford. "Where there is smoke there is fire". Even if his dumb ass is ultimately found innocent of every count; just putting himself in this position makes him a disgrace to every person who literally fought with their blood to give us the right sto vote for him.

I can't tell you how sick I am of these phony ass black poli-trick-sters who forget where they came from and who they serve, as soon as they have their first meal at a five star restaurant, or their first ride in a chauffeured car. They make me sick. Say what you want about Barrack Hussein Obama; you might not agree with his politics, but I think we would all be pretty shocked if we heard that he ever sold out his elected office for money.

Here is hoping that if found guilty, this greedy scumbag, like "dollar Bill" and all the others who came before him, will do a nice long perp walk with some shiny bling on both of his wrists.

Obama derangement syndrome, coming to a radio station near you.

I know there is a lot I could be writing about tonight. The O man rolled out some of the O team which included a certain former first lady. The frat boy gave an interview to Charlie Gibson, and finally showed some remorse for his eight years of hell. And the folks in India are so pissed at the Pakistanis that any day now we could have a full blown nuclear dust up on our hands.

But I can't blog about any of those things; because, quite frankly, I am just not in much of a writing mood. And you can thank some poor soul who decided to check out early from this journey we call life for my current state of mind. Sometimes timing can be everything. If this guy had decided to jump a couple of hours earlier, Mrs. Field might have been writing you a final farewell post for the kid, and thanking you for keeping him going all these years.

Anyway, I found something cut and paste worthy while reading the Metro today. And since "Bush Derangement Syndrome" is about to turn into Obama Derangement Syndrome, I thought I would share:

Clark DeLeon - letters@metro.us

"I listen to right-wing talk radio on The Big Talker, WPHT-AM, for the same reason some guys watch porn. I know I'm not going to see/hear anything that I haven't seen/heard before, I know that the plot is pathetically predictable and that the dialogue between caller and host is as wooden and insincere as a woman feigning surprise upon answering the doorbell to discover the pizza delivery man. But I listen anyway because as depressing as it is, there is a certain reassuring inevitability shared by hardcore porn and right-wing talk radio.

The difference is that Limbaugh, the highest rated radio talk show, and Hannity, the second highest rated, pretend that they're bishops rather than porn stars. During their three-hour daily services call-in conservative supplicants seek their blessing - "You're a great American" - while both ministers in full vestments proceed to have unprotected sex with the notion of the viability of a two-party body politic. Their America is divided between true believers and scam artists, hard-working folks and elitists, those who are committed to traditional values and those who are manipulated by Socialist apparatchiks. It's a hoot. And I thank God I live in a country that can allow these two windbags to be the most popular voices on radio, while also being the same country that told the two of them to stuff it by electing a foreign-raised black man with a white mother as president of the United States.

I honestly believe that if minutes after he was sworn in as the 44th President of the United States Barack Obama ascended physically into heaven, both Limbaugh and Hannity would report that this is proof that Obama is 'just like Muhammad.' It reminds me of something the late great Philadelphia Mayor Frank Rizzo once said about how he couldn't do anything right according to the liberal media. "I was standing next to Cardinal Krol one time on Penn's Landing when the wind knocked his hat into the Delaware River. So I climbed down, walked across the water and retrieved the Cardinal's hat," Rizzo joked. "And you know what the headline on the next day's Inquirer said?" 'RIZZO CAN'T SWIM.' "

At some point today, while reading Mr. DeLeon's article (god forgive me), I actually wished that Rush and Sean had made that jump.