Temper temper.

Field, why are you black people so angry? Even when you make millions of dollars and have a career other people would die for, you still can't control your anger.

I wasn't going to blog about Serena's outburst last night during her match with Kim Clijsters, because most people, unlike me, really don't care much about tennis.

But what happened last night was pretty unbelievable. Imagine playing a pivotal match in the semi finals of a grand slam, being the victim of a bogus call, and then losing the match due to your misconduct. (Misconduct, in this case, means telling they line judge that you are going to introduce her to your tennis racket. "Dropping the f-word liberally, Williams said, "I swear to God I'm [expletive] going to take this [expletive] ball and shove it down your [expletive] throat, you hear that? I swear to God.")

What you have to understand about tennis is that a foot fault at this level is rare, and when a line judge calls it they better have pretty damn good evidence that the players foot is touching the service line before the ball leaves their hand. That call last night was a bad one. William's foot did not touch the line. So I don't blame her for being pissed.

Still, as with my man, the football player from Oregon, she should have kept her cool. I know she was having flash backs of her youth in Compton and being shaded in the neighborhood grocery store (think about it) but going South Central on that line-judge only gave casual tennis fans reason to buy into stereotypes.

See, it's like this: John McEnroe can do that kind of stuff and it's considered cute. It's just his competitive nature taking over, just John being John. When someone who looks like Serena does that kind of thing, it takes on an entire different meaning. A-merry-ca is not cool with you Negroes getting angry. If Joe Wilson was a black man and George Bush was giving that speech the other night, he would have been taken out of there in handcuffs. (But I am a U.S. Congressman, take your hands off me. Put your hands behind your back, nigger....let me stop.)

But I saw this coming. I knew the Williams sisters were feeling a little disappointed leading up to Serena's match. I saw how Venus got no love against Clijsters in their match. This is A-merry-ca, right? And Venus was the A-merry-can and Clijsters is from Belgium, right? And they were playing in New York, right? Well how come no love for the A-merry-can? Clijsters was the crowd favorite in both matches. Interesting.

But I am not going to dwell on the dissing of the Williams girls. With all due respect to my man Common, I hear they are a bit housish. (My word.)

So go back to work Serena and try to get Clijsters the next time you hook up. The girl has some serious game, and she is going to be around for awhile. If you want to catch Billie Jean's 12 grand slam singles titles you are going to have to get past her, not to mention the A-merry-can crowd.

"Got Milk?"

As Whitney used to tell Bobby: "Ahhh hell to the no!" I swear my cousin done went and did it this time. Will somebody reading this please tell me that this Negro was not breast feeding her baby while driving her minivan. Please tell me it ain't so. And this is how dumb I am: When I first heard this story I thought to myself; damn that woman must have some big ass breasts. Because I could not even fathom the fact that this ignorant Negro would be feeding and driving.

Field, not only was she breast feeding the two year old with the back of its head resting directly on where the air bag would deploy, but she was also talking on the cell phone.

Sometimes I swear you Negroes embarrass the hell out of me. Just the other day I saw a car full of crumb snatchers (the oldest couldn't have been more than five) piled into a hooptie and hauling ass down I-95 here in Philly. I swear I wanted to call 911 and report the license plate. [Mrs. Field blocked me on that one] That is a serious pet peeve of mine; seeing children in cars without child seats. If you can't afford a damn child seat to put in your car you shouldn't have any.

So anyway, back to this backwards ass woman in Ohio. So after the po po pulled her card she had the nerve to get indignant about the shit. As if she wasn't doing anything wrong. "When my baby wants to eat, she wants to eat," Huh? Negro did you ever consider pulling over?

Genine, I know your child has to eat, but we also want the child to live, which is why child services should have taken that little snatcher from you, immediately.

Now the kicker is that girlfriend doesn't think she deserves the ticket because the po po didn't actually see her doing it. Apparently another motorist saw her and called 911.

"I'm following right behind her right now on Far Hills Avenue," the caller said as he spoke to a Kettering dispatcher in a recording of his non-emergency call that was released by police on Friday, Feb. 27... I tried to say something to her. She literally has the little girl on the steering wheel and I said, 'I can't believe you have that kid in your lap...."

Yeah yeah, I know white folks can be nosey, but damn it this time "Bob" is right. I would have done the same damn thing.

"'You want to pop your titty out and breastfeed this kid?' That's what she said to me."

I need a drink.