Wednesday, July 26, 2006

Whose Reality?



OK so it's still hot and sticky and the field-negro is still pissed off. Pissed at having to live through the worst heat wave in, I don't know, maybe a hundred years. -Al Gore is right!- I mean this is crazy, I live in Philadelphia on the freaking East Coast of the United States, not the rain forest of Brazil for crying out loud!

So why has it been one hundred degrees with one hundred percent humidity for the past two. weeks? Mmmm, global warming you say. And this is not only Philly, all over the country there have been record heat waves. From the Pacific Northwest -My poor sister and brother in law are sleepless in Seatle right about now- and there have been power outages in Queens, and St Louis. -Yes I blame frat boy and deregulation for that too, but that's for another time.

Anyway, it's the middle of the week, and I am not having one of my best days. I am thinking about all the sh#@t that's going on in the Middle East-I just saw the image of a beautiful Lebanese child who was blown to smitherines by an IDF bomb-all the people dying unnecessarily on both sides, and all the senseless destruction and displacement of poor innocent people. I am thinking about my brother in law sitting somewhere in Texas in an army hospital still trying to get his body-not to mention his mind- working again. And he can thank frat boy and his war for that. Oh, a war where a full scale civil war is about to break out between the Sunnis and the Sheeites, and they are killing each other at a rate of 100 per day. Speaking of killing each other. I am thinking about the 220 murders here in Philly so far this year. All the people marching-including Will and Jada- all the community groups coming out against the violence, all the preachers praying, all the city officials coming up with all these new so called crime initiatives. And tomorrow morning, just like clock work, I will hear about one or two more murders on the news. I am thinking, why the f#@% did ESPN kick off fellow field-negro and the best baseball analyst on T.V., Harold Reynolds? They say sexual harrassment of an employee, he says he didn't do it. But yet, he is gone. I still see Bill Oliely's ignorant behind on the air over at FAUX NEWS, even though he was accused of the exact same thing. Then I just learned that Philly lost the Olympics to either San Fransico, Chicago, or L.A., that pisses me off. Bring the damn thing to the East Coast for once.- Sorry, Atlanta is south- Didn't L.A. have one in 1984. And Chicago? Nice city, but it aint Philly. Susan Yates walks because down in the good ole state of Texas they think she is insane for drowning her five little kids one by one. Geez! And to think that there are brothers doing major time for having a bag of crack cocaine. But don't get me started, its too hot to get really pissed off. "Postpartum Psychosis" my ass!

So you see why I am pissed folks? All this sh#@ going on, throw in the heat and humidity, and what you have is one unhappy field-negro.

So anyway, I head home and decide to catch up on some T.V., just to escape from all the crap that's going on around me, and all the negative thoughts. After all, between blogging, my work for the good folks of Philly, and my work for myself, I can hardly find down time to watch the "telly" anymore. So tonight, I tell myself, it will be different, I will make a conscious effort to catch a show or two.

Flick channel....Survivor, flick channel, Extreme Makeover, flick channel, Pimp My Ride, flick channel, Simple Life, flick channel, Surreal Life, flick channel, Cops ... so what the F#@$. Is there anything besides reality T.V. on television anymore? I mean it's everywhere. America haven't you had enough of this crap? And what's with the America before the name of all of these shows? American Idol, America's Next Top Model, American Inventor, American Casino ... and so it goes. It's not even reality; it's, according to Wikipedia "highly influenced" programming. Get that? It means it's all well scripted for you. So why the facination with the Apprentice, and Survivor, and Project Greenlight, and Real World, and Beauty and the Geek, and...I give up. But I think I know what it is, it's average Americans -that's code speak for white folks- trying to find an escape; something to get the old adrenaline up. After all, how else do you escape from the normal, suburban, ho hum existence that you have become so accustomed to? Black folks, on the other hand, don't need reality shows to get us pumped up. Life is a f##%@c reality show for us. You think the board room is tough? Try living in the projects of North Philly for a week Donald? Your ass is "fired" for real. It could be literal or figurative, but you get the point. Yeah, I think I can survive on an exotic Island. Somehow the thought of a five course meal at a resort just a boat ride away, after I get kicked off, doesn't make the Island seem so intimidating to me. But could the contestants live on $149 a month worth of food stamps, dodging bullets to get to their next job interview? And praying that when they come home -if you want to call it that- the neighborhood crack addict didn't clean them out of everything they have? Now survive that for a week, and you will not have to go to tribal council, of course you might want to, and while you are there, you will be begging to leave that little urban Island called the "hood". Survivor Hood Island. Now that has a nice ring to it.

But I am being unfair to white folks, because black folks are caught up in this reality crap too. Yes, I have caught all the tokens on shows like Big Brother- like a black person can survive in that house- Survivor, Amazing Race, etc. Heck, black folks have even won some of them. Because I told you, we know how to survive, it comes natural. We even have some of these shows as our own. Tyra Banks is the face and host of America's Next Top Model; you gotta love it. I love your hustle Tyra, you pimp those white folks girl. And even dumb ass BET tried to cash in on this crap with the forgettable duo of College Hill, and Fatty Koo. Talk about embarrassing. But this is what happens, when black folks try to be followers and not leaders. You get disasters like the two flops I just mentioned. Not to mention, kids making absolute fools of themselves for the entertainment of the rest of America. That's what Jerry Springer, and Ricky Lake was for, and I thought we were past those bafooning days. Isn't Jerry running for office somewhere? But I digress.

The point is, we need less reality on T.V. and more escape. I mean, isn't that what T.V. is supposed to offer? I know to white folks, reality T.V. is escape, but to me, reality T.V. is what I see every day. Try having a camera following me around every day at my job, I guarantee you, the ratings will be higher than some of the shows on the air now. You white folks -especially in middle America- will love it. It will offer a real escape for you from your every day mundane existence. A real live look into inner city and urban life. No scripts, no prefabricated locations, no "highly influenced" format. Just you and the field-negro enjoying life in the fields.

Anyway, screw the television, there is nothing on, and I feel like posting on the Internet now. I have some venting to do.

6 comments:

TNB Alerts said...

Your reality (aka TNB) is why we white peeps don't want negroes in our 'hoods. Thanks for affirming that.

Ok, why don't you get yourself an Air Conditioner. Since you're one of the few employed negroes (thanks to Affirmative Action hiring), you can spring for it.

Ditch that TV, it's all spoon fed, filtered BS. Oh yea, and maybe you should stop blogging on government time.. errr make that Penn. taxpayers money.

Now, where did I put that violin. Oh here it is.. Ree ree ree, ree ree ree.....

field negro said...

Central air thank you very much. Not sure what you have in your trailer park though. And my blogging is done on my time only. You, on the other hand, I am not so sure about. Anyway, I am guessing you are a frustrated white man, in a menial(neck down) job somewhere, whose wife left him for a field-negro :)

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