Tuesday, November 21, 2006

You Nig*#*s Can't Take A Joke?


Like I wasn't going to comment on this story. OK, so we all know by now how my man Michael Richards, AKA "Kramer", watched one too many episodes of Def Comedy Jam, and thought he could go on stage and drop the "N" word over and over to a bunch of hecklers. Those few moments might have cost Richards whatever future he had left in show business. Because, as it has been proven time and time again; America does not like an open racist.

No sir, our racist have to be like our gays used to be; in the closet. And once they cross that line and have a total melt down like old "Kramer" did, they are toast! I guess "Kramer" just couldn't take it anymore, and he made enough "f&%k you" money from doing Seinfeld that he could afford to blow up a career at this stage in his life. Hey, the guy probably figured; "what the f*&k I am sick of hiding my true feeling, I will tell these niggers and every one else what I really feel". Imagine how liberating that was for him. Yeah, sure he had to go on Letterman and play the game. "I am not racist that's what was so insane about it..." hey, "Kramer" your fingers are crossed. But he had to do it, if only for Jerry and the rest of the crew who still have careers to think about.

"I am sick over this. I'm sure Michael is also sick over this horrible horrible mistake" MISTAKE!! Like WTF? Come on Jerry, you are smarter than that. You know and I know that Kramer's ass didn't make a mistake, he spoke how he felt. And you know what, I say good for him. I wish more Americans would be as honest as "Kramer". I think we would all be better for it. Can you imagine after Kanye famously declared: "George Bush doesn't care about black people" Our commander in Chief stepping up to the plate and saying: "Damn right I don't care about you black mother f&*%#rs, why should I? You don't vote for me anyway". We would then all be like that poor white lady in the audience at the "Laugh Factory" who can be heard saying:" Oh my God", when "Kramer" went after those two "brothers" heckling him. How can our President say that? But I bet Bush would feel a lot better about himself. "Yeah Laura, I told those black motherf*&%#@s, I am so sick of their sh*&"! How liberating.

Don't worry "Kramer", yes, I think your career is essentially over in this comedy business. But look at the bright side: you can always perform at the Republican Convention every four years. Or, at NASCAR events; heck, you could even open for George "macaca man" Allen when he tries to make a comeback. So all is not lost. Just make the rounds like Mel Gibson did, get a few more house Negroes like George Wallace to come out and support you, and you will be fine. We are a very forgiving country, and us black folks are especially forgiving. -I wouldn't be surprised if you are front and center in a Baptist church in South Central come this Sunday as a guest of the good reverend- Now white folks, I am not too sure about. Because I have written about this before, and if there is one thing white folks hate, it's when another white person is dumb enough to let the world know what many of them think about us black folks. Some things you just don't say in public "Kramer", all those Seinfeld scripts must have fried your brain. No wonder we never saw black folks on Seinfeld, I guess you didn't want them around you huh.

I could go on and on about this, but it's too easy, and frankly, I am sick of all the faux outrage and the non stop media blitz. Word of advise to the next comic that tries ethnic humor, make sure that sh** is funny, and as one of my white colleagues told me; remember the golden rule: It's cool to make fun of your own race, and if you go after another race, make sure the sh*& is true. Like when Italian comic, Don Marero, [sic] goes after black folks with that ink pen routine: No, I am not going to tell you the joke. But why do we say sh*% like "ink pen", as if there is any other kind?

"They're going to arrest me for a calling a black man a nigger".....

"Fifty years ago we'd have you upside down with a fucking fork up your ass"

Fifty years ago that sh*& would have been funny to some folks, but it ain't funny now Michael, not to the folks that count. And they might not arrest you, but they sure are going to punish your ass for opening old wounds.


Anyway, I am going to rent some old Seinfeld episodes now, I want to see the few scenes with black folks and Kramer interacting. Hey maybe we are not giving Michael Richards credit for one thing. The guy must have been a really great actor.

11 comments:

Chris said...

Hey now, you can succeed with unfunny ethinc humor. Take Carlos Mencia. Please.

Speez said...

"Fifty years ago we'd have you upside down with a fucking fork up your ass"

Ol' Mike made a touchdown with that one. It was only 50 years ago and not ancient history as a lot of people would like us to believe. We are dealing the children and grandchildren or the super-racists. Hell, historically we're not too far removed from actual physical slavery.

Neil Bitch said...

No, we are not very far removed from the "peculiar institution." And we haven't moved an inch away from wage peonage. We as a society continue to bask in its reflected glory.

In this day and age, "keeping the darkies in their place" has a whole new meaning. Keeping not just black people (as immoral as that is), but all immigrants-who-don't-look-like-us in hock to the local corporate feudal oppressor.

This is the part that kills me: They have the idiots believing that this is right and just. I know a lot of poor people. I grew up poor in south Alabama. My family came from the local subsistance farmers. It doesn't get a lot poorer, unless you want to step on a reservation. Today, we are poor because Jesus wants us to be poor. Or we are poor because we have some sort of inner moral failure. Or we in some way deserve to be poor.

All of which is bullshit. People are poor because of a lack of education and a lack of opportunity. This devastation of the education system is deliberate and ongoing. This domination of the government by feudal corporatists is deliberate and ongoing. But because we've been convinced that being poor is our own fault, and not that of a huge buit-in bias of the system, we accept the status quo and the creeping death-by-inches that is the current American socio-economic system.

It doesn't take brilliance to be rich (check Paris Hilton if you doubt me). It just requires one to be an emotionally dysfunctional psychopath.

How can anyone demand they pay no taxes when poor children get no medical care? How can anyone demand they pay no taxes when schools continue to decline? How can anyone demand they pay no taxes when they themselves are the single largest beneficiaries of a well-ordered society? How can that level of greed coexist in our society?

Because we don't hoot these bastards down. In all seriousness, we've no one to blame but ourselves because we are all held in economic bondage to some corporation or group of corporations because we won't stop and look at the facts of the situation for whatever reason, fear, religion, envy.

Back on topic for an instant, anyone ever notice how those who say, "Can't you -insert ethnic slur of your choice- take a joke" seem to be amongst the first to grab a rope when they or their ethnic group are offended?

How can America be that hypocritical? What the fuck is up with that?

Even with all that, do lets all take a moment and total up our own personal blessings and give thanks to whomever you feel appropriate.

Happy Thanksgiving.

field negro said...

Yo Chris, at first I thought Mencia had some funny moments, but now he seems like pretty much a one trick pony.

Speez, and Neil, great points from two different perspectives. NB, you are a serious radical my man, and you need to run for public office. Although I don't think you would win-too honest- More Americans need to hear what you are saying.

Neil Bitch said...

Field: I love you, man, but I am not running for any public office. I have an allergy to small airplane accidents and sudden "mysterious" appearances of kiddie-porn on my work computer. No thank you. Besides, I'm just not interested in reading legislation; I'm not good at it.

There are people out there who are honestly gifted at that sort of work, and they still have a sense of decency and morality. I happen to like Dennis Kucinich, your mileage may vary.

We Americans need to get off our cynical asses and fill the candidate pipeline with decent people. That's not happening, and in my stunningly humble opinion it's our own fault.

Each and every one of us needs to get down in our local trench, find that assembly man, school board member and sewer commissioner who is honest, decent, and morally upright. It'll be damned hard work, make no mistake, but look at what happens when we get lazy. People die. By the hundreds of thousand and by the million.

That's wrong.

We have an obligation to each other. That's the entire POINT to having a society. To look after one another as best we can.

we saw that... said...

hi field we have a question regarding the field negro and house negro paradigm: as far as we can tell in this paradigm there exists only two types of negro however -- chris rock defines [transcript here] yet another? type called the "nigger" so our question is, is in the FN - HN paradigm a house negro a chris rock "nigger?" or is the chris rock "nigger" a separate and distinct third person?

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