Tuesday, November 21, 2006
Like I wasn't going to comment on this story. OK, so we all know by now how my man Michael Richards, AKA "Kramer", watched one too many episodes of Def Comedy Jam, and thought he could go on stage and drop the "N" word over and over to a bunch of hecklers. Those few moments might have cost Richards whatever future he had left in show business. Because, as it has been proven time and time again; America does not like an open racist.
No sir, our racist have to be like our gays used to be; in the closet. And once they cross that line and have a total melt down like old "Kramer" did, they are toast! I guess "Kramer" just couldn't take it anymore, and he made enough "f&%k you" money from doing Seinfeld that he could afford to blow up a career at this stage in his life. Hey, the guy probably figured; "what the f*&k I am sick of hiding my true feeling, I will tell these niggers and every one else what I really feel". Imagine how liberating that was for him. Yeah, sure he had to go on Letterman and play the game. "I am not racist that's what was so insane about it..." hey, "Kramer" your fingers are crossed. But he had to do it, if only for Jerry and the rest of the crew who still have careers to think about.
"I am sick over this. I'm sure Michael is also sick over this horrible horrible mistake" MISTAKE!! Like WTF? Come on Jerry, you are smarter than that. You know and I know that Kramer's ass didn't make a mistake, he spoke how he felt. And you know what, I say good for him. I wish more Americans would be as honest as "Kramer". I think we would all be better for it. Can you imagine after Kanye famously declared: "George Bush doesn't care about black people" Our commander in Chief stepping up to the plate and saying: "Damn right I don't care about you black mother f&*%#rs, why should I? You don't vote for me anyway". We would then all be like that poor white lady in the audience at the "Laugh Factory" who can be heard saying:" Oh my God", when "Kramer" went after those two "brothers" heckling him. How can our President say that? But I bet Bush would feel a lot better about himself. "Yeah Laura, I told those black motherf*&%#@s, I am so sick of their sh*&"! How liberating.
Don't worry "Kramer", yes, I think your career is essentially over in this comedy business. But look at the bright side: you can always perform at the Republican Convention every four years. Or, at NASCAR events; heck, you could even open for George "macaca man" Allen when he tries to make a comeback. So all is not lost. Just make the rounds like Mel Gibson did, get a few more house Negroes like George Wallace to come out and support you, and you will be fine. We are a very forgiving country, and us black folks are especially forgiving. -I wouldn't be surprised if you are front and center in a Baptist church in South Central come this Sunday as a guest of the good reverend- Now white folks, I am not too sure about. Because I have written about this before, and if there is one thing white folks hate, it's when another white person is dumb enough to let the world know what many of them think about us black folks. Some things you just don't say in public "Kramer", all those Seinfeld scripts must have fried your brain. No wonder we never saw black folks on Seinfeld, I guess you didn't want them around you huh.
I could go on and on about this, but it's too easy, and frankly, I am sick of all the faux outrage and the non stop media blitz. Word of advise to the next comic that tries ethnic humor, make sure that sh** is funny, and as one of my white colleagues told me; remember the golden rule: It's cool to make fun of your own race, and if you go after another race, make sure the sh*& is true. Like when Italian comic, Don Marero, [sic] goes after black folks with that ink pen routine: No, I am not going to tell you the joke. But why do we say sh*% like "ink pen", as if there is any other kind?
"They're going to arrest me for a calling a black man a nigger".....
"Fifty years ago we'd have you upside down with a fucking fork up your ass"
Fifty years ago that sh*& would have been funny to some folks, but it ain't funny now Michael, not to the folks that count. And they might not arrest you, but they sure are going to punish your ass for opening old wounds.
Anyway, I am going to rent some old Seinfeld episodes now, I want to see the few scenes with black folks and Kramer interacting. Hey maybe we are not giving Michael Richards credit for one thing. The guy must have been a really great actor.