Monday, March 31, 2008

When in Rome....


I caught glimpses on the television today of the "O" man's embarrassing performance in an Altoona bowling alley. At first it seemed amusing, and it seemed to humanise him a bit. But now, after listening to pundits, and seeing the reaction it has been getting from a certain segment of our population (blue collar working class whites), the shit isn't looking so funny anymore. Maybe it's because the "O" man is a lefty like moi, but I really felt sorry for the guy watching him make that weak (how is that woozie?) ass south paw roll straight into the gutter. "The audacity of hope"? No, how about the audacity to roll a 36?


I mean, come on "O" man, a 36? Seriously folks, this shit is not funny, this might actually cost the "O" man some votes with this crowd. "My economic plan is better than my bowling". "It has to be". Hey, what can I tell you, they love their bowling in Western Pennsylvania. It's a white thing Negroes you wouldn't understand it. I wish the "O" man understood it before he stuck his fingers in the holes of that bowling ball. Did you see how those people were looking? I guarantee you that they didn't think it was funny. I bet they were thinking; what kind of President can't even break double out of digits in seven frames at the old bowling alley? I bet Hillary could beat a 36, and maybe even roll a strike or two. I know one thing, the Ice Queen would have been taking bowling lessons from PBA touring pros before she even set foot in a bowling alley. It's all about planning "O" man.

Anyway, I caught Chaka Fattah tonight on Spitball, and he swears that when the "O" man comes to Philly he is going to play a little pick up ball on one of our playgrounds. Now I hear that the "O" man can ball a little bit. (Hell his brother in law is the coach at Brown) That's cool, but white folks already expect one of us to be able to play some hoops. Still, if he can really handle the rock and do some damage under the net, you never know. Maybe they will actually catch him on camera not making a fool of himself this time. Although knowing Philly hoops the way that I do, he better be careful. He already might lose some of the bowler vote with his lack of skills, lord knows he can't afford to lose the basketball crowd as well by getting schooled on a Philly playground. Especially during March Madness when everyone has the basketball jones.


"O" man, I just hope that you are working on your mid range J.

60 comments:

andy said...

dear field, the senator from illinois is not afraid of the bowling lanes or the jerks on philly sports radio. they are afraid of him. he is just trying to get them to relax their prejudices a little. what i see in these stories is a man who is in control. who knows what that psycho hillary would have done. bowl a strike or tell a lie or kill a bystander?

jjbrock said...

Field so he's a typical black man. I will give him prop for even trying it.

andy said...

i forgot one..she might have cried if the bowling went poorly. or maybe challenged the scorekeeping.

thinkaboutit said...

Hey Field,
I have to agree with you. Obama looked like a damn fool with that bowling bowl. He did not look coordinated or like he ever seen a bowling ball. They are already questioning the brotha. Rule 101 in politics do not do shit without getting some practice in. Just like old man Bush back in the day got caught without knowing how to use a self check out machine and not knowing the cost of a loaf of bread. Mofos are pouncing all over Obama for that weak ass roll of a bowling ball. He better check that shit.

BC Planning said...

Hey, at least it wasnt Hockey

GiGi - The Shy Giraffe said...

uhh so i take it he didn't hit any strike huh.. but at least he roll up his sleeve and go with the flow.

SagaciousHillbilly said...

Field, I'm not a regular bowler, but I do have a wicked curve that I deliver from the left side of the lane with my left hand. Back off. Let the man bowl. . . or do whatever it was he was doing.

Rglr_Lrkr said...

Hey, Field, thought you might appreciate this (simulated) effort at that national dialog on race Senator Obama has called for.

Christopher said...

FOFLMAO! Too funny.

field negro said...

"Hey, at least it wasnt Hockey"

Classic! :)

Cali Tejano said...

I used to average 207 (I was semi-pro) before I hurt my arm playing hockey (go figure). It would have been real easy to get Barack to score more. I probably would have had the following conversation with him if I were in PA:

CT: Barack, hold on a minute.
BO: What?
CT: You've got to reach out there.
BO: I'm already reaching the people out there in A-merry-ca.
CT: No, I mean your bowling. You'd be lucky if you roll a 60 with those foam floaties they fill the gutters with if you keep throwing like that.
BO: What do you want me to do?
CT: Reach for your target.
BO: But it's 60 feet away.
CT: That didn't stop George Gervin. Did it?
BO: The Iceman?
CT: Yeah. Remember when he used to finger roll a basketball from midcourt?
BO: Yeah. (smiles)
CT: Just like that, except you don't have to worry about someone swatting your shot. Just let it roll, man. Let the ball do the work.

And somehow I could picture him breaking 100.

Leota2 said...

C'mon Field,
Who cares if the man can't roll an overweight ball down a slippery ass floor? Having grown up in Ohio made me hate the sight of damned bowling alleys. To me it says --thank all that's good Obama is not the kind of man who'd ever close up his business early on a Sunday to play in a bowling league . .
Hail to another awkward ass left-handed bowler.

innercityrose said...

Well you have to give him his props for trying..no shame in that..maybe if he had on the proper attire things would have "rolled" differently..lol

heartsandflowers said...

Do you have any idea how hard it is bowling as a leftie?

ZACK said...

*House Negro voice* "Mr. Field African-American, you stop this foolishness right this minute! Senator Obama is a catalyst for change in this nation. He may not be the best bowler, but he will strike down the pins of republican status quo once elected in November 2008"

Wow. That's the only time I'll ever sound like a House Negro. I think the spirit of Bob Johnson took over my keyboard just now. I apologize.

FIELD NEGRO FOR PRESIDENT, 2028!
GO ZACK FOR Secretary of Keeping it Real, 2008

justice58 said...

"Senator Obama is a catalyst for change in this nation. He may not be the best bowler, but he will strike down the pins of republican status quo once elected in November 2008"
-----------------------------------
There you go! I like that Zack! Who cares if he can't bowl! There are so many other important things he can do so well!

AgentX said...

Man, c'mon Field! The typical white voter in PA can't be that stupid! I think they're going to hit the voting booth with more on their minds than "he bowled a 37! That makes him unelectable!" They gotta have more sense than that.

Rent Party said...

Don't miss this poetry slam, "D-n you
Barack Obama, You Pretty Motherf-r"

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6viAqJTyP7Y

You won't regret it ...

shonufded said...

Hey, c'mon now, Obamaholics!

You know the "O" man is keepin' his right arm in shape for that opening game pitch all presidents are called upon to deliver as one of their official duties.

He's got to throw a better pitch than George Bush.

The pressure is on. He's keenly aware that--

If he can zing that ball across home plate for a blistering strike, rather than one of those wild, lukewarm balls we usually get from presidents, that the people will know they got themselves a hellafied president.

shockproof said...

The first rule of thumb for businessmen, gamblers, hit men, mafia types, and politicians--don't do a damn thing unless you can control the outcome.

field negro said...

"Do you have any idea how hard it is bowling as a leftie?"

Yes I do :)


"The first rule of thumb for businessmen, gamblers, hit men, mafia types, and politicians--don't do a damn thing unless you can control the outcome."

Don't forget lawyers on cross.

cali tejano, that was good!
BTW, I saw your Mr. Salty picture over at your site. That was some funny s**t.

Anonymous said...

Is it possible for Barack to have some fun? Seems like everything he does is measured, weighed and analyzed. No one is good or great at everything.

The Christian Progressive Liberal said...

I'm with Cali Tejano; I could have coached the brotha to at least break 100.

Yeah, I used to bowl in a league; my avg was about 170 (the best game I bowled was a 260 - I hit for seven strikes in a row and ended with a couple of spares at the end).

Me: Look, Barry, you need to "break" your wrist (slang for hold your wrist firm and follow-through). Like, this..."

(CPL rolls the ball, curving it to the 1 and third pens, guaranteeing a spare if not an actual strike).

I would not have allowed him to look such a fool; I just wouldn't.

On the real, the more he humanizes himself, the more afraid the crackers are getting because he's challenging their long-held prejudiced stereotypes about Black people, and it's too much brain power work for them to think differently about anything.

David Sullivan said...

Embarassing!

Stick to what you know like unifying, speech making and being presidential.

and as far as hoops goes he didn't look like he has an athletic bone in his body!

Thank god he won't have to play against Putin, Jintao, Ahmadinejad or Kim Yong-il for anything cause we might lose.

momo said...

I think it is endearing. A man who is not afraid to do something he's not good at, and have fun, makes me like him more.

Natalie said...

Here in Chitown you go to a bowling alley and you see two types of folks the typical "bowlers" and a bunch of black folks. How can this man be from this city and be that dismal a bowler? I have in and incredibly girlish bowl. Some have even gone as far as to call it dainty but I can break 100.

Timi said...

He does bowl like a chick...lol

I didn't find his bowling stunt humorous at all. He looked as he was afraid to "get dirty".

That's how girls bowl. Hell...that's how I bowl! lol. That's not a good look Barry. Not a good look at all.

hennasplace said...

Hi Field:

I too heard the pundits yesterday talking about Obama's bowling event, and just find that it must have been a slow news day that they would waste an inordinate amount of time discussing his bowling skills or lack there of. I was disinterested in if Obama could bowl or not, and just another example of how incredibly stupid political pundits are. I mean to ask the question whether would like to see people watch another debate or bowling match between Clinton and Obama. How inane!

Christopher said...

That's OK.

Barack may not be able to bowl worth sheyat but, I bet he has other skills that more than make up for it.

Just take a look at Michelle. Honey, she's awake and always has a smile on her face!

Anonymous said...

Field, Field, Field. Much ado anout nothing! I think perhaps you may have been running on empty when you posted this one. Yes? SO WHAT if the man is not prolific in bowling. I don't know how many lanes are in the Big House. None, probably, so this isn't something that's necessary that he learn to do or has to know. Of course, we all know that he was/is simply trying to connect with the people to secure that vote. I don't think he looked ridiculous. I think what may have looked ridiculous is if he tried to bowl using the right arm. What do you say about that? Anyway, it's just a one-time deal, no biggie. Find something else to complain about and nitpit about, 'cause I ain' feeling you on this one, bro.

Redstar said...

Here's another lefty that's middling at bowling at best. Can't get the spin out of my wrist to not have the ball drift off to the right before it gets to the pins!

(Field, you're a Virgo AND a lefty too??? I knew I loved your blog for all the right reasons. ;) )

I'm a Clinton supporter, but some of the images here of how she'd handle this bowling challenge just make me laugh. Perhaps she'd get all pissed at all the free-floating criticism out there and "accidentally" let the ball slip from her upraised arm into the watching crowd behind her.

"Clinton attacks voters with bowling ball" the next day's headlines scream. Awesome.

andyfrombrooklyn said...

dear all, hillary has just hit the news challenging the senator from illinois to a bowling whatever you call it. she is so unpleasant. she never misses an oppurtunity to rub somebodys face in it. then she will turn around and act so pathetic when she gets caught like last week during snipergate when she begged off nagging reporters saying plaintively "lighten up guys". i almost starting feeling sorry for her. that is how the clintons escape the trap, they play the victim. people feel sorry or protective. then as soon as she is in the clear she stops being blanche du bois and turns back in to lucy from peanuts. i am hating her almost as much as bush right now.

Joel said...

This cracker always sees lots of black people at the bowling alley! I know about roller skating.... but I thought brothers liked bowling, too.

Am I wrong?

elle said...

FN, you should put Al Sharpton and th West Palm NAACP on the house negro of the day. How the hell do you defend those monsters, who clearly raped and beat that Haitian woman and blinded her son? Just thinking about this has ruined my day, and is seriously pissing me off as I type this. I mean, why doesn't he defend the victims, who I think who would need the attention the most.

Lola Gets said...

I see youve got the Philly/Fed HUD scandal up on your sidebar...niiiice.
:)

L

Anonymous said...

Fox News would have had a field day with images of a black ball maliciously mowing down a helpless group of white pins..

Cali Tejano said...

I have a confession to make. My best bowling game is a 288, and three-game series was 754. 31 strikes thrown during that evening, including the first ten in a row.

The confession: I was being fed a steady diet of Miller Genuine Draft and Long Island Ice Teas from the moment I walked in the door to kill the pain in my shoulder and arm until the following morning.

The moral of this story: Bowling well may be a good indicator of how to run a country. Look what happened to President Nixon and Watergate? (LOL)

For the Clintonistas out there: Rocky Balboa isn't real, and he lost to Apollo Creed. Get over it.

field negro said...

"Fox News would have had a field day with images of a black ball maliciously mowing down a helpless group of white pins.."

LMBAO!!! Good one.

joel, you are right, some black folks do love to bowl. I think I was unfairly stereotyping with that post.

redstar, it would seem that we are kindred spirits. I went to your blog, and I kind of like your
politics too.

anon. 12:32PM, you didn't introduce yourself correctly. It should have been: HI, I AM ANONYMOUS 12:32PM, AND I AM AN OBAMAHOLIC.

Lene said...

Don't worry Indiana is coming up and at least Obama plays basketball better than he bowls, lol!

Chris said...

I have multiple 300s and don't think less of the O-man for sucking so much. He's probably hardly ever done it in his life.

Anonymous said...

Field, Field, Field. I'm "Anon 12:32 pm." I'm an ObamaGirl, but I don't consider myself an Obamaholic, as you claim. I listen to what he says (or doesn't say) like most folks and make judgements on those points. I simply think that the outcry over the man's bowling skills is a bit over the top, even for you. As we can all see, he's NOT a bowler, and before he decided to walk in the alley, shoe-up, ball-up, and roll, he knew he didn't have an iota of skills to support his impending actions. It's not as if he did not know these things. But, hey, you have to give the man props for for the extra mile and knowing that he--but probably hoping that he wouldn't--embarass himself in the long run. The man is forty-six years old. He certainly knows his limitations. To thine ownself, he is true (to his known matters of expertise). Let it go, Field. Let it go. Like my favorite social/political comic, Chris Rock says, "Sometimes you just gotta let sh*t slide." I think this is one of those times. Let us move forward to much ado about something.

RhondaCoca said...

"Fox News would have had a field day with images of a black ball maliciously mowing down a helpless group of white pins.."

HaHa!

Bill O'Reilly: This is a metaphor for how much he wants to see the breakdown of the white male power structure.

Juan Williams: Yea, he should know his place.
----------------------------------

Yea, they were questioning his manhood this morning. It was humorous because I suck at bowling and I can beat him on any given day. However I found it to be humorous and humanizing. He is very good at hoops, so you win some and you lose some.

P.S I saw Hillary's little cheapshot about it, she is probably going to use it against him with the superdelegates...lol.

field negro said...

Okay Chris, that settles it, we are going to have a bowl off between you and cal tejano for charity :)

rhondacoca, I saw the Ice Queen cheapshots too. But she blamed it on April Fool's Day.

Anonymous said...

I AM ANONYMOUS AND I AM AN OBAMAHOLIC.

He was playing with a 3 year old for his partner and one of the best pictures I have ever seen. I lived in Centre County PA.
Altoona was the perfect place to go and bowl.
The negative spin by the media is not the opinion of the people there. Listening to wingnuts causes blindness.

Check out the pictures here
http://www.dailykos.com/story/2008/3/30/16552/8933

elle said...

redstar:

"Field, you're a Virgo AND a lefty too??? I knew I loved your blog for all the right reasons."

That makes three, I'm also a Virgo and a leftie, and apparently Barack Obama is also a leftie. Coincidence? (Plus, my last name sounds phonetically similar to bowling, yet I hate bowling)

Christopher Chambers said...

NO, IT WAS A DISASTER. In this 24 hour fuck-journalism but let's elevate rabid opinions and info-tainment news cycle and rightwing punditry, this was one of the dumbest things he could have done. YES!!! This actually reinforces the rev. Wright in the minds of the pundits and the voters.
No--if he's going to be president, then he needs to do his legwork, his research or send in his flunkies first. Or you roll up in the alley and makes some comments about "You know, I'm a weak-ass south paw but I'll do my best"...and then maybe have his daughter cutely roll a big ball down the lane. Poor media use. Poor judgment. Does NOT bode well. Think I'm making a mountain of a molehill? Think again.

And yes, Obama can ball like a m-f. I saw him burn my old college dorm RA--John Rogers (who now runs Ariel Capital management in Chi-town and one of the richest negroes who doesn't put on a sports uniform). But yeah--they expect that. But so what. Give them what they want. Stay out of the damn alley unless you can at least toss the thing down the middle.

ps chase said...

Yeah, a 36 is some bleak shit. And while we shouldn't judge someones political prowess on a game of bowling, he woulda been gold if he showed enough competence to roll say, a 150?

I'm the self proclaimed Tiger Woods of bowling, by the by...

Anonymous said...

Yeah, all the people there were just happy to see a future President. Maybe on cable they care what the score was -- the people didn't.

Anonymous said...

To me, Obama is real...he doesnt feel compelled to go and super-practice for a bowling event just to give the impression--fake impression--of what a great bowling guy he is...he is comfortable just being himself--sucking at bowling. He is not the type that will starts brandishing guns or exaggerating about Bosnia Sniper fire to prove a point, he is just not that type of a person. You see that clearly in the way he dealt with Reverend Wright issue. Take it or Leave it. Unlike Hillary who, i am sure, would have practiced and talk about how she started bowling at age 2 or something. Obama stands there, keeping it real, warts and all. So, yeah, i think it is great he did and sucks...if you are the type that thinks bowling ability or Who-you-will-have-beer-with matters in deciding elections in this shitty economy and stupid iraq mess, well, you definitely deserve 4 more years of Geroge Bush's mess or worse. We are all adults here.

andy said...

anonymous 11:47am....WELL SAID!

Anonymous said...

Ok, I'm a pretty smart gal here, got a couple degrees & all that good stuff, but honestly, I just don't get the deal about Obama's bowling gig. I've scratched my natural salt & peppa hair, tossed this thing around in my big head, and still, I ain' understanding this obsession. Has it come to this--the fact that the man is not a bowler?? Can somebody please, seriously, explain this bowling non-phenomenon to me, cause I ain' feeling nothing about it right about now, nor have I felt anything about it, either. Somebody, PLEASE explain this obsession to me. As a former leisure bowler, I know that a score of 36 is the absolute pits, but why, oh, why, oh, why is it so dang important?

Christopher Chambers said...

All image. Politics is image. Always has been, since "Tippicanoe and Tyler, too" or Abe Lincoln as the "railsplitter." This was a stupid, stupid move on his part.

Anonymous said...

But still, it's so, so much about nothing. In a couple days there will be something new, and hopefully something relevant. The voters are smarter than allowing an image to distort their political views. I hope. And the pundits, who are in between a slow newsdays w/the Hillary and Barack, are simply waiting with baited breath until the Penn. caucus on 4/22. Very soon that will heat up, and closer to that time, no one will even remember the bowl flap. I still say, Obama knew what he knew when he walked into that bowling alley. It's not as if he didn't know that he's not a member of the PBA. And he knew the cameras and reporters and the YouTubers would all be there with pens, pencils, camcorders, and the like, just waiting. It's not as if he did not know this, and it's not as if he didn't know what the fall-out would be.

Anonymous said...

On the replay of Jon Stewart's show I noticed that Obama actually had 37 in the 6th frame with a spare in the 7th. As bowlers know, the score for a spare is 10 plus the next ball. That means his score would actually have been between 47 and 57, depending on what he got on his first ball in the 8th. Still not too good, but less pathetic.

PhreQuency said...

you wouldn't thought his other half would've kicked in lol

bruce.godfrey said...

When Dennis Kucinich was a race-baiting hack from West Cleveland (yeah - didn't hear that, didya?), he emphasize West-of-the-river Cleveland's cultural (read: Eastern European, explicitly non-Black like Euclid Avenue in East Cleveland) heritage with an infamous sign:

"Civilization:
1. Polka
2. Bowling
3. Kielbasa"

or to that effect.

There are very few things that describe white people as a whole other than white privilege itself. Bowling? They don't bowl in Kennebunkport. Country Music? Nah, regional to rednecks and suburban Southerners, they don't listen to it in New York or Boston. Recycling and Whole Foods? Yeah, that's "Stuff White People Like" to quote the blog, but most white people cannot afford the latter or give a **** about the former.

But the converse is true: there are some things that are pretty much only white, even if most white people don't even know about it in any meaningful way. Bowling in Altoona and Cleveland and, for Polish- and German-Americans rolling duckpins, in Baltimore, is a white thing. Don't try to understand it, if you understood it you'd already understand polka.

JW said...

I didn't realize just how bad 36 was until my 3-year-old son bowled a 38 yesterday at a child's birthday party. That's ... astonishing.

lmb said...

"I don't know how many lanes are in the Big House. None, probably, so this isn't something that's necessary that he learn to do or has to know."

They don't have tanks in the WH, either -- at least not actually in the WH -- and anyone remember how stupid they made the "competent Governor from Massachusetts" look?

Come on y'all! Y'all act like Critical Thinking Class is something all A-merry-cans need to take and pass. Not so much.

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