Sunday rant.

If there is anyone out there reading this post who knows how to make a tackle in football, please send your resume to The Eagles Football Club, 230 N. Broad Street, Philadelphia, Pennsylvania, 19145. Thank you.

It was ugly at "the Linc" today, folks. My birds caught a beatdown from the DC dead-skins. "5" came back home and delivered a win for them. And, to make matters worse, Vick looks like he is out for at least six weeks with broken ribs. Damn it's tough to be a birds fan.

Anyway, it's hard to write a post tonight because I am still seeing Clinton Portis gash my team's D for more yards. So anyway, here are a few random thoughts:

I know that OJ Simpson is kicking himself tonight. Man if he could have just stayed out of prison long enough to see this. Oh well, I know where the vacation hot spot will be for NFL players next year. Especially the black ones.

I bet that dude who wrote the article about "Crazy white American folk" in the Village Voice didn't expect this type of backlash. What did he expect? That white folks would just roll over and let him talk about them in unflattering terms? Not anymore. This is not your father's A-merry-ca. White folks are no longer ashamed of their whiteness. And damn it, you liberal tree huggers will not turn this country back to the days of white guilt. Just wait until November 2nd. You all will be wishing that you didn't put that beige man in the people's house.

"I picked up a crack pipe when I was 25 years old because I wanted to try it, and it took me 22 years to un-try it. But it's a wrap now. I lost all that time with a pipe in my mouth. Now it's a mike to my mouth."

El, I just hope that you have your counselor on speed dial. But I wish you the best.

Now that tons of money is pouring in for my girl Sarah light, I hope she spends it wisely this time. One thing she won't be spending it on is tofu. Seems my girl loves her meat....(get our minds out of the gutter readers.)

"WILMINGTON, Del. Delaware Republican Senate candidate Christine O'Donnell once told a TV interviewer that she tried several religions but skipped becoming a Hare Krishna because she didn't want to be vegetarian. "

I bet the Hare Krishna folks are happy for that.

Finally, just two more days for the release of Dana Milbank's new book. I can't wait.
I think that Milbank is on to my man, and in his new book I think that he will make a compelling case that the guy is certifiable. But who is crazier? Beckkk and his P.T. Barnum style schtick, or the millions of A-merry-cans who worship at his alter?

It's hard to pick between the two.

I'm out. Hey, does anyone have a football team with a large bandwagon.

In defense of "FIVE".

Guy talk alert!

I rarely talk about sports on this blog, because I usually like to limit my rants to social issues and politics. Not that I don't get passionate about sports. It's just that unlike politics and world affairs, it's not exactly life or death we are talking about. Unless, of course, you happen to live in Philly.

Lately in our fair city and damn near everywhere else sports is talked about in A-merry-ca, the topic of the discussion has been the quarterback of our football team. (Or as we affectionately call him: "Five".) Now it seems that "Five" has gone and put his foot in his mouth He declared, after a pathetic tie with the Cincinnati BUNG-LES, that he did not think that there could be a tie in the NFL. A not too bright statement to be sure, but not the end of the free world as we know it. Honestly, "Five" not knowing whether or not there were ties in the NFL wasn't going to affect the outcome of the game. Not with our genius of a coach calling the plays. (HEY ANDY, HERE IS A NEWSFLASH FOR YA: IF YOU CAN'T CONVERT A 4TH AND 1 TO BEAT THE STINKING BUN-GLES, YOU DON'T DESERVE TO BE COACHING IN THIS LEAGUE). Whew. See why I don't like to talk sports?) The truth of the matter is that the Eagles just aren't that good this year. But this post isn't even about what kind of team the Eagles are at this point in the season. No, it's about the backlash and the heat that "Five" has been taking in this city and elsewhere because of his misstatement. (Tiki Barber needs to shut the fuck up, because the last time I checked, the G Men didn't win a ring until his black ass left) John Smallwood, one of the biggest sports writers here, called it "one of the most embarrassing gaffes in recent sports history" Huh? Mr. Smallwood, just what the hell have you been smoking? How is it a sports gaffe when it didn't affect the outcome of the stinking game? For gaffes see Chris Weber's time out when they had none left which cost Michigan an NCAA championship game to North Carolina. See Brett Favre's interception in last year's NFC Championship game to end it. See Bill Buckner's infamous error in 1986 which cost Red Sox Nation a World Series. Those are sports gaffes Mr. Smallwood, not knowing how the overtime rule works in the NFL.

The devil must be wearing ear muffs and gloves today, because I actualy agree with Jason Whitlock's take on this story. Donovan has been a class act on and off the field, and is the best quarterback this city has ever had (and I loved me some Randall), so why kill the guy for this foot in mouth moment? Is he a little soft and somewhat of a mama's boy? Yes. Does he choke at times in the clutch? Yes. Do I wish he would use his legs and create match up problems for defenses like he used to? Yes. But having said all of that, he is still a pretty damn good quarterback, and this city, in spite of the buffoons on sports talk radio (more on them in a minute) should be glad to have him. The truth is, that "Five" has a better winning percentage, more playoff wins, and more playoff appearances than both Peyton Manning and Carson Palmer, all while playing with the dregs that the Eagles provided him with (except for the one glorious year when we had T.O.)throughout the years.

Now these idiots on sports talk here in our city are all over the guy. Forget the fact that he is not the only player in the NFL who has this little rule problem. Yeah yeah yeah, I know he is the quarterback, and he should know better. But I bet McNabb has forgotten more football than these dopes ever knew. All these clowns do is get up every morning and talk shit about our athletes 24/7, while their fat asses sit behind a microphone and pretend to be Joe Sixpacks, before they cash their own big fat checks. I swear they get on my fucking nerves. They remind me of the kid back in college and high school who couldn't get on the field, and who would always have some negative shit to say after a bad loss. Like they could do any better. What a hustle. Only in A-merry-ca.

But field the guy makes millions of dollars shouldn't he at least know the rules of a game that he is paid handsomely to play? Well, I am a lawyer, and until a few years ago if you had said "nunc pro tunc" to me I would have thought you were talking about a city in China. That is, until I had to file a motion with that very title. This is when I had to learn about it really fast.

I bet half of these so called "journalist" can't even pronounce words like aplomb or vestige, yet they rip a guy for not knowing the rules of a game he plays. I really need a break from these phonies.

Now don't get it twisted, I will be all over "Five" the next time he throws an interception, or chokes during the two minute drill. But I am not going to sit here and act like it's the end of the world because he doesn't know the fucking overtime rule in the NFL. Sorry, it's just not that deep.

"TD or no TD-that is the question: Whether tis nobler in my mind to suffer The slings and arrows of outraged Philadelphians Or to take leave from this sea of trouble..."

Ha ha ha, everybody got jokes. I tell you what won't be funny; having to go 1-15 with the next quarterback who comes in here to guide Andy's sinking ship.

Sports is a BITCH these days.

"Shawn Laidlaw Says: September 18th, 2007 at 6:24 pm
When black athletes or black people in general fail at anything then the race card comes out. It seems nowdays that anytime they face any kind of adversity they cry that white america is keeping them down. This is why they will always get scrutinized. Some day they will realize that your accountable for your own success or failure in life. No one gives you anything easy, no matter what color you are. It’s also tough to have symapthy for black athletes who make 10 million a year and can’t stop getting arrested. Who’s fault is that?" ~~Lifted from the "Morning Buzz" blog.~~

Ahhh the delicate little problem that is race in America. It used to be that the one place we could get away from all this racial talk was on the athletic field. But now, I am not so sure. Vick,O.J., Bonds, NFL players behaving badly, and even "5" calling out the fans in Philly and American sports fans in general, for viewing African American QB's a little differently than the more melanin challenged ones in their fraternity. The racial hits just keep coming in even the sports world now. Geez, what is America to do? If we can't use sports to escape our real issues---like this damn war for instance---where else are we going to turn? I mean, after all, we can only look at Paris Hilton's narrow behind for so long.

And did I mention Isiah? Yes, it seems "Zeke" (His nickname from his playing days) was sued recently by an African American sister for creating a hostile working environment for her. The sister alleges in her complaint, that Thomas constantly referred to her in private as a bitch and a hoe. Now as a result, she is seeking serious damages from the Knick executive, and his organization. If Thomas was ignorant and insensitive enough to do what this woman is alleging, well, then, I hope the sister breaks the bank. If he didn't....(I am thinking of a Kanye West song here) Apparently allot of nasty things have already came out in this trial, (I am hereby revoking Stephan Marbury's field Negro status for his little ep, in his Jeep with that intern) and I suspect there will be more to come. I saw clips of Isiah's deposition today, and his statements about white men calling African American bitches, as opposed to black men using the "B" word was rather...how do I say this kindly? Strange. I mean, on some levels I understand what he was saying, I am sure on just a gut level it would piss me off more if I saw or heard a white man call one of my sisters a bitch. (Too much history and pain there, so I know it would affect me) Now fortunately for me, and the person who would have said it, I have never witnessed such a thing, and I doubt it many real brothers have. ( You don't think there were any real brothers around in Durham that night do you?) But I have to take issue with Isiah for seeming to imply that it's cool for "us" to call our women bitches. By saying there is a different standard, he seems to be implying that some "bitch" calling is better than others. It's not.

But this has already become an issue in the white blogosphere, and with the usual suspects like FAKE NEWS. "Why is there a different standard for calling a woman a bitch? I swear these arrogant athletes, not only are they racist, but they are sexist as well."

I know one thing, I hope O.J. won't think all the people converging on Jena , Louisiana Thursday will be there to protest his latest arrest. Unfortunately, knowing O.J., he probably will.

If I want it I will ask.

I was going to post a long essay about religion, but I changed my mind. Primarily, because I am not religious, and it was going to be more of a rant than anything else. And, because, I realized, that I can be too hard on organized religion and the people that follow them at times. There are some really good people of faith out here---some of them comment on this site---who are really doing the work that it takes to get them to heaven which quite often benefits those of us here on earth.

But some things about religious people really do bother me, like when they try to proselytize all the time. I hate that. You know what I like about the Jewish faith? They don't proselytize. If you don't want to convert to Judaism, that's on you. No one is begging you to join. That is why I get along so well with my Jewish colleagues. We can hang out and talk shit, and nary a word about Jesus or salvation is ever spoken. (This particular post is timely now, because we are in the midst of Rosh Hashana, so Jewish friend, if you are reading this, Shana Tova.) So anyway, I thought about that yesterday when I was running to the train. (Yeah I know I have to do a better job at time management. Maybe it's because I spend all my free time on this damn computer) and there were these two very nice ladies blocking my path to the escalator like they play defensive line for the Eagles or some shit. "Good morning sir, may I offer you this to read?" No mam, thanks, I am running a little late, maybe tomorrow." "But tomorrow is Saturday, will you be going to work on Saturday? I just want you to take a minute to read this." It's a "Watchtower Magazine. Now I don't want to knock the Jehovah's Witness. I am sure it's a wonderful group and they do some good things. They have some beliefs I like--like the fact that the believe in salvation by works and not faith---and some things I don't like---like only 144,000 of the chosen ones can go to heaven, and they don't donate their organs after they check out. But overall, they are cool with me. (Hell Lark is a JW if I am not mistaken) But they are honestly barking up the wrong tree when they try to proselytize to me. My Daddy was a big time preacher and I was born and raised in the church. Had worship every night at home, Sabbath school, bible studies, the whole nine. So I really don't think there was anything these two sweet well meaning ladies could have told me about Jesus and his love for me that I didn't already know. Bottom line, I had to do like Donovan McNabb; damn near push them out of my way, dip around them, and ultimately left them talking to my back.

Now I am sitting on the train and wondering why well meaning people would even put themselves through that. I actually felt bad about having to diss the church twins. But then I thought about it, and I realized that they probably get dissed all the time.

But they sure were committed. I sure hope they have that kind of commitment and passion for their communities and their race. Promoting a cause they believe in, that's basically all they were doing. Their cause just happened to be tied to a particular belief system. In a way, that's all I am doing here too, proselytizing and pushing a belief system. Just a hard working "field Negro" who wants to uplift his race and his people's condition around the world.

Maybe I am not that different from my two Jehovah's Witness friends.

***On a side note. I have been getting some e-mails from people who are offended when I curse in my posts. Some of them, to the point, where they won't be back to my site, because cursing, in a any forum, offends them. To those people I say; it's not called the world wide web for nothing. There are lots of other sites out there that would more than welcome you, and where I am sure you will find no cursing.

But to those of you who stick around, let me explain my philosophy when it comes to the use of inappropriate language. (If there is such a thing) When a subject pisses me off, I curse. My previous post about dead beats is a classic example. I was pissed, and so I cursed quite often throughout the post. Sorry, I write how I feel. As people like "wo0zie" will tell you, I am no writer. I am just a brother who pounds the keyboard on my computer when my spirit so moves me, and when I see crap going down around me that I have to speak out about. Period. Sometimes I don't curse in my posts, because I have had time to calm down, and my language can reflect my mood. Sometimes I think a curse word would be appropriate, but I am not angry enough when I get around to writing, and as a result, I will write something like this: f**k. That is a compromise curse. It belongs there, but I am not angry enough to write out the full word. Got that?

You will also notice that I try not to curse in my comments section, because, unlike posts, I am more or less speaking to individuals one on one. I am not writing to everyone in general, but responding to an individuals comment. Cursing under those conditions would be like swearing at someone who came into my home, and that would be rude.