THE FIX.

I recently posted my review of the showdown in Saddleback, and I gave the edge to Mr. Morton. Well I am embarrassed to say, that I, like the rest of A-merry-ca, was hoodwinked.

Sorry for the bad review folks, it's looking like Mr.Morton and his peeps might have cheated. Yes, our war hero didn't play fair. Turns out that he wasn't in a "cone of silence" as the moderator (let's call him "Minnesota Fats" for his role in this little sting) and hustler extraordinaire hinted at. Nope, he was on his way to the church in his motorcade. And since his "O" ness was on stage at the very same time, getting the very same questions that were going to be asked of Mr. Morton; unless you still believe in the tooth fairy, Santa Claus, or republican family values, you know damn good and well that Mr. Morton was getting the goods. --No wonder his answers were so perfect----

Now I compared Mr. Morton to Smoking Joe; a man I know, and a man I consider to be a great champion. And all I can say is; Joe, I am sorry. You would never have gone into the ring with Ali with over sized gloves, or questionable liquids in your water bottle. No, you would have fought a fair fight. You would not have punched Ali after the bell, or below the belt during a clinch. So comparing you to McCain was an insult to you and everything you stood for.

Oh come on field, how do you know that McCain cheated? You have no proof of this. You are taking the word of a few operatives and the Obama people. Yes I am. And you know what? If I have to make a choice as to who I will believe, guess who is going to win? I will give you a hint: it ain't the war hero.

“The insinuation from the Obama campaign that John McCain, a former prisoner of war, cheated is outrageous...” This is what one of Mr. Morton's surrogates had the nerve to tell us. As if a man who cheated on his wife, was a part of the "Keating Five", and who would damn near do anything to become President before he goes off to his final resting place in the desert, isn't capable of cheating.

To my readers I apologize. I should have played closer attention, I should have seen that the fix was in.

Showdown at Saddleback

I just caught the showdown at Saddleback. (What's up with the Ocean's 11 look?) Honestly, what does it say about A-merry-ca when the first time that the two men for President of these divided states hook up it's in a freaking church? Turns out that the man who gave us "a purpose driven life" *eyes rolling* is the only man in A-merry-ca who could have brought these two together. Boy, the church sure is powerful in A-merry-ca these days. I guess 911 made us all very religious. And why was it called the "Civil Forum"? Sorry, politics has long passed the point of being civil.

Anyway, a couple of thoughts: First, if we look at this little get together like we would a heavy weight fight, I would describe it like this: Obama was the classic boxer. The purist. Nimble on his feet, and full of fancy combinations. Mr. Morton, on the other hand, was the classic brawler, the puncher with a thick chin who isn't afraid to mix it up. Obama was Ali. Mr. Morton was Joe Frazier. And let's go ahead and call Rick Warren, Don King.

So who won? Alright let's go ahead and give the fight to Smoking Joe. Sorry Obamaholics, Mr. Morton beat your boy tonight. It wasn't a knockout, but he outpointed him. His punches were harder, and he was the aggressor throughout the fight. Oh your boy landed a few nice combinations, and he looked pretty good doing it. To steal a phrase from Ali: he was "floating like a butterfly." Unfortunately, he wasn't stinging like a bee. There was no pop behind those punches. The "O" man gave his typical thought out nuanced answers, and as is always the case when he debates, you could see why he made law review and not the moot court board at Harvard.

Mr. Morton was punching harder, and making direct blows. The straight talk was hitting with straight rights; and it was working. (Did you hear the audience? He had them at hello)

Of course they both had some bad moments too. The "O" man said that one of the three people whose advise he holds dear is Ted Kennedy. (Coming to a GOP commercial near you) And Mr. Morton said that being rich starts at five million dollars. (This is what being married to a woman who can wipe her ass with dollar bills for the rest of her life, and still have plenty left over, can do to your perception of wealth). I suspect that we will be hearing that comment again as well.

So anyway, after they went to their perspective corners it was left to the pundits and those of us watching in A-merry-ca to declare the winner. I am guessing that most folks saw it like I did. Unless, of course, they happen to be an Obamaholic.

Oh well, don't worry folks, there is always a rematch. Just tell your boy to train harder next time.