Dear Mitt:

It's me, Seamus.

I know you didn't expect to hear from me ever again, but I am still around. I am really old now; thirty plus years is a lot of age for us dogs. I just hope I make it to Saint Patrick's Day. 

Anyway, in case you were wondering, I have learned to forgive you for what you did to me some 29 years ago.---- It's hard to believe it was that long. It seems like only yesterday I was puking all over the rear window of that white Chevy station wagon and your children were screaming their heads off.  I can still feel the wind stinging my face and smell that strong scent of exhaust fumes. I kept thinking that we were just going for a quick family trip, but it seemed like we kept driving forever. Hey, at least it wasn't a compact.

I see you are running for president again. I hope you have better luck this time. Hopefully my little ride won't be the reason you lose the race. If it turns out to be I just couldn't live with myself. People are so much more sensitive when it comes to us dogs these days. I actually think that's a good thing. Look what happened to that famous athlete who abused us; he actually went to jail. I guess what I am saying is that this won't get any easier for you from here on out. There are actually groups dedicated to protecting us dogs and advocating on our behalf now, and most of the people in the country believe that we hold a special place in their hearts. Mitt, if only you had felt that way back then you wouldn't be going through this.   

Anyway, if you do become president, I hope choose a dog as the first pet. I know you don't want to copy the Obamas, but it would really mean a lot to me. It's the least you could do.

Just promise me that you will let someone else in the family take care of it. I know that you have grown and matured, but some habits die hard.

In closing, give my love to the wife and kids for me, and tell them I hold no ill will towards them, I know that you are the head of the family, and they had no say in the matter. That was strictly your call; it's how you roll.

Good bye Mitt, and Godspeed.

Sincerely,

Seamus



*Pic from Zero Drop.com

Mitt's Vick problem

Say it ain’t so Flipper. Please tell me you didn’t pull a Mike Vick move back in the day.

Personally, you all know how I feel about pets. I think you A-merry-cans tend to be a bit misguided with your unceasing devotion to your four legged friends. So I am not going to totally rip Mitt for strapping the family dog to the top of the car and hauling him down the highway all the way to Canada. (Poor Fido. 12 hours on the roof?! Mitt, are you sure you don't have a little black in you? )

Mitt, I think you just lost the pet lovers vote. But, then again, maybe not. A-merry-cans are very good at selective outrage. Michael Vick is not running on the republican ticket for president.

Anyway, of all the things that Mitt could have done in the past, this might be the worse. A-merry-cans will damn near forgive you for anything except messing with the family pet.  

“Mitt is a little bit confused about living things. To him a corporatio­n is a person. But, a dog is a piece of luggage."

Ouch! Mitt, there will be more of that to come.

Look, I know that Flipper would never take advice from the Field, but I would seriously recommend that he forgets about his Vain Capital issues for now and start focusing on nipping his Fido problem in the bud. Get your people to reach out to Vick's people ASAP. (Don't worry, he isn't doing anything right now. In case you didn't notice, the Eagles missed the playoffs.)Ask them to tell you the best way to suck up to the doggy crowd and get right on it.

Remember, Fido can't vote, but his owner can. How can you come home and look him in the eye after you pulled the lever for Romney? You can't. Fido knows that Mitt tortured one of his boys back in the day and he will never let you forget it.

I wonder how long it will be before I start seeing those dog owners for Obama bumper stickers?