I am sure that my friends down South are familiar with Hunting Clubs. I remember when I was living in Louisiana that was a big deal. Come hunting season you would go on acres and acres of your club's land and shoot all the Bambi's, wild boars, and water fowls to your heart's content. All for an annual fee.
So anyway, I was reading about the latest killings in my hometown of Murderdelphia (189 and counting) and I had one of those light bulb moments; this great idea popped into my head, and I want to share it with you.
You know how cities are always struggling to find new ways to generate revenues. Usually it takes the form of a tax, or a fee for some form of essential service. So I was thinking; why not open the city to hunting come hunting season? We would allow as many people as we like to come in and do some serious hunting.-After they pay the required fee of course-Now you do understand that they wouldn't be hunting deers, and wild boars. No, these hunters would be hunting a different kind of game, they would be hunting young black males between the ages of 17-30. All the other citizens of Philadelphia would of course be off limits. So for instance, if you accidentally shoot a black male in one of the hunting zones, and you find out later that he is 35 years old you would be out of luck. Because you just might be banned from ever hunting in Killadelphia again; or, you could face some very stiff fines.
So what do you think folks, do you think it could work? I do. Think about it folks; if you are a red neck down in Alabama whose only wish in life is to shoot a few niggers before you checks out, this would be your big chance. Or, if you are some young buck who just joined the Army reserves, are about to be sent to Iraq, and you want to experience killing in an urban environment, well then you join the Philly hunt club. What if you are some white collar yuppie in New York and you want to impress your girlfriend? "Honey I was just in North Philadelphia, and some thuggish looking black guy came up on me, and I shot him to death. It was such a rush! Oh sweetie you are so brave." We could charge a couple of thousand dollars for a urban hunting license. There would be other restrictions as well. The areas in the city where hunting is allowed would be well marked out and defined. No hunting in places like Center City,Chestnut Hill, or Society Hill. If you accidentally shoot someone in one of these areas that's your ass. You wouldn't just face a stiff fine; your ass will be charged with murder. But think about all the revenue the hunt club could generate for our city. We could use the money to hire more police officers, and even expand our prisons. And, we could even set up a wild game compensation fund, so that the families of the game would receive something for their troubles. At least it would pay for the funeral expenses. Besides, we wouldn't want them suing the city or anything now would we.
Of course every black male in the designated areas between the ages of 17-30 would have to sign a waiver. And we could even give them a monthly stipend for being eligible to be in the hunters game. I mean what the hell, they might as well get paid for possibly getting shot every f*****g night!
So what do you think of my little plan? Do you think it could work? I do. All we need is a little political will, and the good folks of Philadelphia to cooperate. I see all the senseless and random killings going on, and I am thinking we are already half way there.
