Like so many other A-merry-cans, my life is full of contradictions. I like nice clothes, but I hate crass commercialism. I consider myself a world citizen, but I am not crazy about NAFTA and I think it's better to buy A-merry-can. And speaking of buying A-merry-can; I have a lot of empathy for the A-merry-can auto worker and the folks in Detroit, but I drive a foreign car. I wish my government would do more for those who are less fortunate than the rest of us, yet I bitch and moan come tax time. So yes, I consider myself somewhat of a hypocrite, but I am not alone.
Tomorrow is Black Friday, and we A-merry-cans will once again give in to the lure of crass commercialism because of our thirst for all things material. What recession? And if there is one is this how we fight it? We will be swiping our credit cards and buying on credit right up until Christmas Eve, because god forbid little Johny and Tyrone don't get those play stations, and those little motorized toy cars they always wanted. I always wondered what it was about A-merry-ca that made us embrace commercialism so much. It is the one ism that I guarantee you will be with us right until the end of the republic.
Any challenge to A-merry-ca's spirit of consumerism will always fail. Think Prohibition, Puritanism,Ralph Nader's consumer rights movement, and even the Socialist loving radical counter culture of the sixties; they all went down. Nothing, not the depression, not the gloomy seventies, and not the frat boy's recession prevented or will prevent A-merry-cans from being materialistic. Materialism is the A-merry-can way. It's why the frat boy told us to go out and shop after 911. Let those crazy ass Muslims kill themselves and blow up buildings, we A-merry-cans will just keep rocking our "True Religion" jeans and our Nike's, it's what we do.
This is how your worth is judged in A-merry-ca. By how many things you have, and who designed them. Not by what type of person you are.
Many A-merry-cans (including Mrs. Field, no clean hands in this family) will be out at the crack of dawn. They will be trying to load up on their already large stash of material things, all because the smart retailers were able to figure out that if you mark something up 100%, and then mark it down 50% from that, the deal loving A-merry-cans will bite. If you think I am lying try to get into any popular retail store tomorrow and do a little shopping. I guarantee you that it will be one of the worst experiences you will ever have. But, as is always the case, you will probably try to talk yourself into thinking that it was all worth it. After all, you wouldn't be a real A-merry-can if you didn't.
