I saw Mr. Morton on the Edmund Pettus Bridge today, and it felt so strange to see a republican candidate for President of these divided states, campaigning in cotton picking country out in rural West Alabama. Talk about surreal. But there was Mr. Morton, praising the marchers on the bridge and giving an honest to god olive branch to my peeps.
Now I must give it to Mr. Morton's people, I think it's a brilliant political strategy to reach out to African Americans while he has the republican nomination already locked up. Let's face it, none of the folks who vote for Mr. Morton are going to vote for Hillary or the "O" man in the general, so his base is in tact. The best thing that Mr. Morton can do now is to hold down the voter turnout among the dumbocratic base. If Hillary wins, for instance, can you imagine the angst it will create among black folks? Many of you will stay home, and some of you will even cross over and vote for Mr. Morton. So why not reach out to your fickle asses now? Just to let you know that it's cool to go to the dark side, and vote for the republican candidate. It's smart, and it just might work. Mr. Morton has been around more black folks lately than Jerry Springer, and it might not translate into more votes for him, but it sure could translate into black folks staying home if Hillary were to win the dumbocratic nomination.
Now let me put this out there right now; and I know that this is going to piss off a bunch of you Obamaholics, because I have heard quite a few of you say that you will never vote for Hillary. But if she (Hillary) happens to beat the "O" man, I am voting for her ass, period. I am not ready to join that rethugliklan tent just yet. I have some serious issues with claustrophobia and somehow I don't think that tent is as big as they say it is.
"Oh but field Hillary is too divisive, we need someone that can bring the country together" My answer to that would be why? Why the fuck would I want to come together with my political enemies? See, it's like this, I came from a place where we shot at our political enemies, so excuse me if I am not feeling the whole Kumbaya thing. I don't want to reach across the isle like the "O" man, because I happen to be a creature of my convictions. And what I believe ain't what those red state folks believe; no matter what they tell you, and no matter how many civil rights sites Mr. Morton visits. My interests are different than their interests, and just because we have to share a country together doesn't mean we have to agree on shit. For instance, I believe in a woman's right to choose, yet I am against the death penalty. I believe that two people of the same sex should have the right to marry each other, and adopt as many kids as they would like. I believe in implementing some serious gun control measures in urban areas, and I believe that felons should be given the right to vote after they serve their time to society. I believe that health care should be free to every citizen..scratch that, every human being-- citizen or not-- who happens to live in these divided states of A-merry-ca. And speaking of citizens, I believe that illegal immigrants who are here now should be allowed to stay if they can proof that they have a full time job. I believe that billionaires like Warren Buffet should pay the same amount of taxes percentage wise as Joe Sixpack. I believe that the minimum wage should be raised to $8 an hour, and I believe that there should be a cap on certain CEO compensation packets. I believe that the environment is seriously fucked up and we should do something about it. I believe that we should spend as much money in education as we do on defense. And I believe that we should get the fuck out of Iraq yesterday. But I seriously digress.
So yes folks, if Hillary wins the nomination, I will be voting for her in spite of what goes down in these primaries, and in spite of how much Mr. Morton is trying to schmooze my peeps. Sorry, after the last "compassionate conservative" who occupied the White House, excuse me if I am not buying what Mr. Morton is selling. I have seen their kind of compassion before, and if you don't mind I will take my chances with one of the dumbocrats again this year.
So thanks for the nice gesture Mr. Morton, I am glad you have a sense of history, and that you acknowledged the civil rights struggle, and field Negroes like John Lewis. Your party has come a long way from when that fake ass cowboy from California took his sorry ass to Philadelphia Mississippi to piss on us. But unfortunately for you I have a long memory, and it will take more than a trip to Selma to make me forget all that shit, or to make me rethink my stance on any of my positions. Especially since I know that you disagree with damn near everyone of them.
"I am aware the African American vote has been very small in favor of the Republican Party. I am aware of the challenges, and I am aware of the fact that there will be many people who will not vote for me, but I'm going to be the president of all the people."
Sorry Mr. Morton, but I am one of those people who won't be voting for you, but nice try.