Did you hear the one about the blond and the pizza man?

Those of you who put your money on the fact that Herman tried to hook up with  missy can go ahead and collect.

Sorry Herman, but I think that your poll numbers are going to drop faster than your pants would have if missy had promised to play put the sausage on the pizza with you.

"I want you to come clean Mr. Cain," Bialek told a packed audience at the Friar's Club in New York City.

"Just admit what you did, admit that you were inappropriate to people," Bialek said while standing alongside her lawyer, celebrity legal eagle Gloria Allred.

Cain's campaign immediately shot back that Bialek's allegations were "completely false," and said they were focused on the economic issues facing the country.

Bialek, a Republican, said she had met the charismatic Cain at several restaurant association events.

She said Cain was charming and attentive to both her and her boyfriend at these events, so when she was fired from her job, her boyfriend suggested Bialek reach out to Cain.

Cain agreed to meet her, so Bialek said she traveled to Washington.

Since she had no job, Bialek said her boyfriend booked her a room at the Capitol Hilton. She expected a no-frills room — and was was stunned at the lavish suite she was given, and thought it was some kind of mistake.

She called Cain to let him know she had arrived, and he told her meet him in the lobby bar at 6:30 p.m. that evening in July, 1997.

"He asked me how I liked my room," Bialek said. "I said 'I was very surprised.'"

Cain "smirked" and said "I upgraded you."

He then took her out for dinner at an Italian restaurant and he asked "Why are you here?"

Bialek said she told him she had been fired from her job and that her boyfriend suggested Cain might be able to help her.

After dinner, Bialek and Cain got into his car, she said. He offered to show her the restaurant association's offices. But instead of going to headquarters, Cain parked the car.

"He suddenly reached over and he put his hand on my leg, under my skirt and reached for my genitals," Bialek said.

"He grabbed my head and brought it towards his crotch," she claimed.

"What are you doing...I have a boyfriend," Bialek remembered saying.

She said Cain's answer stunned her.

"You want a job, right?" Bialek recounted.

She said she told him to stop, which he did, and take her back to the hotel, which he did.

She then told her boyfriend at the time, and a businessman who was a friend and mentor, that Cain was sexually inappropriate."

Herman, I guess blonds don't always have more fun. [Story]

So now it will begin. We will hear what a liar this woman is, how she is a plant for the democrats, and how desperate she is for money, etc. etc. 

Then again, maybe not.  Because the thing that those of us familiar with how "color arousal" works in A-merry-ca have been saying all along, that would actually cook Herman's goose, is the color of his accusers. That color, of course, being....you know. 

Herman, I have some bad news for you: Yes, A-merry-ca loves their house Negroes, but, sadly for you, they love missy even more. Never forget that Herman: all the jigging in the  world can't buy you a sexually harass missy pass.

Finally, I am glad that another circus of a trial in L.A. is finally over. The good Doc is guilty, and he might have to spend some time behind bars. They cuffed him up right there at the bar of the court for all the world to see. I hope his lawyers had prepared him for that. Maybe they did. He didn't look too surprised.  

Outside people were cheering and I have to wonder why. Unless you were a Jackson family member, you had no business cheering this verdict. The good doc should take some responsibility for Jackson's death, but so should Jackson himself, and all the enablers (including other doctors, health care professionals, and family members) who contributed to Jackson moon walking right out of our lives.

Conrad Murray is an easy scapegoat; we have to blame somebody, because it's so hard for us to blame ourselves. But we are responsible for Jackson's death as well. Why? Because we are a part of this twisted culture that worships celebrity and puts unrealistic expectations on mere mortals to satisfy our own sick need to be a part of something bigger than ourselves. And when it all goes wrong we get some kind of sick pleasure and twisted enjoyment in watching the pain it brings to others.

Conrad Murray was on the receiving end of that today; he deserved it because he placed himself smack dab in the middle of the drama. We, on the other hand, just watched the drama play itself out. And judging from what I saw outside that courtroom today we enjoyed every sad morbid minute of it.