Yo Field, I know that you are always chasing racism, but how does a poor white person know if I they are a racist or not?
That's a fair question, and it is one that I am all too glad to help my friends in the majority population with.
And just to show you what a nice guy I am; I have prepared a racism quiz to help you out.
Here goes: (No peeking at the answers, please)
1. Your son (daughter) goes off to college, and they surprise the entire family by bringing their African American girlfriend (boyfriend) home for Thanksgiving.
What do you do?
A. After fainting you ask for a glass of water.
B. You hurry and try to prepare some macaroni & cheese and watermelon for your child's new friend.
C. You pull your child's new friend to the side and try to figure out how serious the relationship is.
D. You ask to talk to her (his) parents.
2. Black folks using the N-word to each other really bothers you.
A. Because you want to use it yourself and you are sick of the double standard.
B. Because you heard it so much as a child and you didn't have a happy childhood.
C. Because you only associate the word with gangsta rappers.
D. Because you really do find the word offensive.
3. When you see an extremely articulate black person on television you
A. Think it's a white person in black makeup.
B. Think to yourself: They must have been adopted by a white family.
C. Wonder to yourself when Denzel started making commercials.
D. Figure they must be from California.
4. You are stuck in traffic on the highway and late for a very important meeting. There is an exit coming up that will get you around the traffic. The only catch is that it goes through a very black neighborhood. What do you do?
A. Say that the traffic isn't really that bad after all and settle in.
B. Get on the cell phone and call the people at the meeting and let them know that you will probably be late.
C. You check with your crime app on your cell phone to see just how bad the area is.
D. You lock your car doors and go for it.
5. Since Barack Obama became president it has been
A. Hell for all white males.
B. Hell for the country.
C. Hell for republicans.
D. Hell for terrorists named Osama.
6. My favorite kind of music is
A. Anything that doesn't have that black jungle beat in it.
B. Country, because it shows the real pain of working class whites.
C. Blues, because it shows the real pain of the Mississippi Delta.
D. Reggae, because it just makes me want to light up.
7. The Klan is
B. Need a serious makeover.
C. Not as popular as you think.
D. Everywhere in thought.
8. When I see a group of black males approaching I cross the street or hold on to my purse tighter if
A. No ifs. I just do it.
B. There are two or more.
C. There are three or more.
D. They are wearing hoodies.
9. This "white privilege" debate is just
A. More liberal BS to make white males look bad.
B. Created by black people to get more goodies.
C. So confusing.
D. Not relevant to all white people.
10. All black people like fried chicken.
11. All black people can dance.
12. Those commercials with at least one black couple or black person is a true reflection of my reality.
13. I have never visited another country and don't want to.
14. In 25 years we won't know America anymore.
15. I have started a sentence like this in the past: I don't want to sound like a racist but....
All A answers get 0 points.
All B answers get 2 points.
All C answers get 3 points.
All D answers get 4 points.
#10 Is True; if you got it give yourself 3 points.
#11 Is False; if you got it give yourself 3 points.
#12 If you selected True give yourself 5 points.
#13 If you selected False give yourself 3 points.
#14 If you selected False give yourself 3 points.
#15 If you selected False give yourself 5 points.
If you got less than 10 points you should leave now, as I am sure that you are late for a Klan meeting somewhere.
If you got between 10-30 points, you might not be out marching in sheets and a hood, but you are at home cheering them on.
If you got between 30-40 points, congratulations, you represent most of the people in America.
If you got over 40 points your honorable Field Negro card is in the mail.