Snooki to the rescue.

My friends, we are living in strange times. They are rioting in the Middle East against the West because of a poorly produced D movie by a mysterious right wing dude with a criminal record. Zombies are still on the loose here in America. And they are ticketing  two year old kids in my hometown for public urination. (Young bucks are shooting each other like they are in a video game and the po po goes after a two year old. Unbelievable!) It's crazy out here.

Anyway, at least Mitt and his lovely wife Ann are doing their best to make us all feel like everything is alright with the world. There they were on television with Kelly and America's latest happy Negro. (Don't you just love Michael's smile?) They were sharing some light moments and giving us some insight into the real Mitt. He told us that he liked Snooki, and that he liked peanut butter sandwiches and chocolate milk. (Chocolate milk? Walking a little on the wild side there. Funny, I always figured Mitt for a white milk kind of guy.) There was more:

"Mitt Romney described the night he met Ann at a party at a friend’s house. Mitt Romney was a senior in high school and Ann Romney was a sophomore.

“She caught my eye I went up to her and found she’d come with someone else. And I said to the guy she came with, you know, I live closer to Ann than you do. Can I give her a ride home for you? And he said sure.
Strahan: He fell for that?

M. Romney: Yeah, he fell for that. So, we’ve been going steady ever since then.”

That damn Mitt was sneaky even back then.

I know that they say this wasn't a good week for Mitt, but hey, at least he ended it with Snooki. Americans love their Snooki.

Finally, if there is anyone reading this post who happens to live in the state of Kansas please reach out to me. I would love to send you a medal. If you live in that state you deserve it.

"Kansas Secretary of State Kris Kobach, an informal advisor to Republican presidential candidate Mitt Romney, said on Thursday he and his fellow members of a state board were considering removing President Barack Obama from the Kansas ballot this November... The board will send records requests to Hawaii, Arizona and Mississippi for more documentation of Obama’s birth." [Source] 

Relax folks, all is well that ends well.

"A Kansas man who filed an objection with the state to President Barack Obama appearing on the state's ballot, is withdrawing his objection.

Joe Montgomery's decision, which he communicated in an email to the secretary of state's office Friday afternoon, ends a process that caused the all-Republican Kansas Objections Board to vote unanimously Thursday to seek further information before making a decision on whether Obama could be on the ballot."

Joe withdrew his objection, but unfortunately the elected officials in Kansas are still there.

Kevin is not in Kansas anymore, and Mitt and Paul run away from an old friend.

This is why I could never be a [right] wingnut. To me a religious experience would have been sitting front row at a Dennis Brown concert, (may he rest in peace) while sipping on some Stone's Ginger Wine, or making love to Tika Sumpter. Not the [right] wingnut; their idea of a religious experience is something totally different.

 "..Shortly after the contentious debt ceiling debate last year, nearly one in five congressmen took off for week-long informational trips during their summer recess, most of which were paid for by a pro-Israel lobbying group. The relief from escaping the toxic air of Washington, D.C., last summer may have been overwhelming for some of the lawmakers.

Politico reported that a late-night dip in the Sea of Galilee near the Israeli city of Tiberias by several GOP freshmen lawmakers and top leadership staff during that trip led to an FBI probe after reports of drinking and even a bit of nudity surfaced. Federal officials told CBS News that there is an FBI investigation into public corruption, but the skinny-dipping incident cited in the report is ancillary to the larger probe. Those officials also said that Rep. Kevin Yoder, R-Kan., - who was named in the Politico report - is not the subject of the federal investigation.
Yoder took off his clothes for the swim, Politico reports, and some of the other lawmakers partially disrobed, even though families - including one congressman's daughter - were also apparently swimming at the same time. Sources told Politico more than 20 people in total took part in the late-night swim."

Oh my! Why did it take a year for this story to come out? Man the main stream media sure is sleeping on the job. I guess Kevin knew that he wasn't in Kansas anymore, so I guess he figured it was time to let his "freak flag flow".

Anyway, some of my republican friends have an explanation for all of this:

"The reasons lawmakers gave Politico for the swim varied: Some said it was a religious experience (the Bible says the Sea of Galilee is where Jesus walked on water); others said they wanted to cool off; and still others admitted alcohol may have guided their decision.
Majority Leader Eric Cantor, R-Va., who did not swim that night, allegedly scolded the group after learning about the evening, Politico reports, because it was distracting from the mission of their trip. The FBI probe allegedly ended after a few questions about what happened that night were answered by a Cantor staffer. " [Source] 

Fellows, Jesus walked on that water, I know that you republicans in Washington believe that you have divine powers, but I don't think you have mastered the walking on water part just yet.

I am going to surprise many of you and not pile on Todd Akin tonight after his Macaca moment. We all know by now the statements made by Mr. Akin regarding the rape of a woman. The thing is, what he is saying is nothing new for certain folks in the GOP, this is the mindset of the cavemen in suits crowd. Akin just got caught thinking out loud.

Now, of course, everyone from Mitt Romney to all the usual wingnut suspects are jumping ship on Akin. Even though Romney's running mate, Paul Ryan, co-sponsored and voted for a bill with the aforementioned Mr. Akin which required women to be "forcibly raped" before they can terminate the pregnancy brought on by their attacker. Yes, Paul Ryan was against abortion in any circumstance. Any. These two men were on the same page, so by condemning Mr. Akin is Mr. Romney also condemning his running mate? Mr. Romney would say no. That's the beauty of Etch A Sketch; it can go either way, and it's always moving.

Finally, if you happen to live in the Northwest United States and you are a member of the Negro race, --or any one of those groups that Aryan supremacist view as a less than human-- you might want to be careful.

"A young couple accused of killing four people in a multistate crime spree last fall have been indicted on federal racketeering charges alleging the rampage was part of a campaign to "purify" and "preserve" the white race, the U.S. Attorney for Oregon, said Friday.

A grand jury handed up the indictment Thursday against David "Joey" Pedersen, 32, and Holly Ann Grigsby, 25, prosecutor Amanda Marshall said in a news release.

"The indictment in this case alleges horrendous crimes were committed as part of defendants' white-supremacist campaign to kidnap and murder targets on the basis of race, color, religion and perceived 'degenerate' conduct," Marshall said.
They are charged in the killing, kidnapping and robbery of four people last fall: Pedersen's father, David "Red" Pedersen, and stepmother, Leslie "DeeDee" Pedersen, on Sept. 26 in Everett, Wash.; Cody Myers, a 19-year-old from Oregon on Oct. 1; and Reginald Clark, 53, of Eureka, Calif., on Oct. 3.
Clark was black and Grigsby allegedly told investigators that Myers, a Christian, was killed because his name sounded Jewish." (h/t to Greg for this story) [Source]

I swear it's tough being a young black man in America these days; if the racist don't get you, the po po or another black man will.

*Pic from Rangeley Moose Droppings 

I sure hope that you Muslims don't need a can of paint.

I have a confession to make: I am not very handy around the house. I am embarrassed to say that Mrs. Field is probably handier with tools than I am.
My philosophy is simple: No matter how small the job, if it calls for a person who is trained to do it, I am giving them a call. I will call the plumber if I have to put on a new shower head.

Folks, I say all of this for a reason: If I do happen to ever need something for my home; you will never see my black ass in Lowe's home improvement stores ever again. Strictly Home Depot from here on out, and here is why:

"Pressure from a conservative evangelical group led Lowe's home improvement store chain to pull its ads from the TLC reality show "All-American Muslim," but now the company is facing calls from celebrities and politicians to boycott Lowe's.

Mia Farrow and Russell Simmons have called for a boycott of Lowe's on Twitter, with Simmons promising to "sic every civil rights agency on (Lowe's) until they straighten this out." He is also urging his Twitter followers to sign a petition -- which, as of 3:25 ET Monday, had 9,660 of the 10,000 signatures the creators of the petition are hoping for -- to urge other companies to advertise during "All-American Muslim."

Meanwhile, California state Sen. Ted Lieu called the Lowe's ad pull "stunning bigotry."

Read more: Taco Bell Pulls MTV 'Skins' Ads Under Boycott Threat (Video)
Lieu posted on his website a copy of a letter he wrote to Lowe's CEO Robert Niblock, calling for the company to apologize for its ad pull or face possible "legislative remedies."

"Lowe's action is bigoted, shameful, and un-American," Lieu wrote. "I call on Lowe's to rescind its action and apologize to Americans who are Muslim. If Lowe's continues its religious bigotry, I will encourage boycotts of Lowe's and look into legislative remedies."

Lowe's, which yanked its advertisements from the TLC series after pressure from the Florida Family Association, didn't respond to a request from TheWrap for comment, but did issue an apology of sorts. The company seems to be expressing contrition that pulling ads made people angry, and not necessarily for actually pulling the ads." [Source]

I agree with Sen. Ted Lieu; it is "stunning bigotry" on Lowe's part. But hey, it probably won't affect their bottom line. I suspect that most of the folks who shop at Lowe's absolutely loved their bigoted stance on this issue. Besides, Corporate bigotry is nothing new to A-merry-ca. (They are people, right?)

Finally, speaking of bigotry; the Big R is trying to throw me off my game again by sending me off on a "wild goose chase":
 
"The Patriot Freedom Alliance, based in Hutchinson, Kansas, posted a photo of a skunk, stating it had replaced the eagle as a symbol of the president because "it is half black, half white and almost everything it does stinks."
The depiction was on the group's home web page on Saturday but gone on Sunday, said Darrell Pope, president of the Hutchinson chapter of the NAACP. It was also not on the site Monday, the day after an article about it appeared in the Hutchinson News-Leader newspaper.

"They tried to pass it off as satire, but it was hurtful and malicious," Pope said Monday. He said the depiction was racist in reference to Obama, who was born to a white mother and black father.

Pope said he did not contact the tea party group about removing the skunk reference but that it never should have been posted in the first place.
A representative of the Patriot Freedom Alliance who maintains its web site did not immediately return phone calls on Monday. Another member declined to comment.

Hutchinson is a city of about 42,000 in central Kansas, northwest of Wichita." [Source] 

Hmmm, the old racist skunk......nope, don't see it. Sorry folks, I have to take a racism chase pass on this one.

Believe me, I am pretty sure that my tea party friends from Hutchinson, Kansas won't be inviting the field over for Sunday dinner anytime soon, but this particular political ad. does not strike me as racist. Maybe I am missing some kind of historical connection with how racists view the the skunk in connection with us black folks, but I just don't see the Big R with this one.

Stay away from the skunk, folks. They won't start stinking you up unless you mess with them.

How to hunt illegals.

Today I was reading my local paper, and I had a WTF? moment after reading this:

"Here in Washington, the immigration debate is in a stalemate. But in Kansas, there has been a breakthrough.

This striking achievement came about last week during a meeting of the Kansas House Appropriations Committee on efforts to shoot feral swine from helicopters. Republican State Rep. Virgil Peck suddenly had an idea.

"Looks like to me if shooting these immigrating feral hogs works," he commented, according to a recording posted by the Lawrence Journal-World, "maybe we have found a [solution] to our illegal-immigration problem."

Brilliant! Shooting immigrants from helicopter gunships! Why didn't they think of that in Congress?

There are a few logistical problems with Peck's idea, including the fact that Kansas isn't a border state. But maybe Oklahoma and Texas will grant overflight rights for immigrant-hunting sorties.

Peck, the Republican caucus chairman for the state House, later suggested his brainstorm was a joke, although he also defended himself: 'I was just speaking like a southeast Kansas person.' [Yeah, right!]

Kansans may be surprised to learn that the immigrant-shooting idea was offered in their names. But they wouldn't be the only Americans getting unwelcome news from their state legislators now that many tea party types have come to power..." [Article]

Folks, in the future, -and for the sake of the Republic- please be careful who you vote for when selecting our lawmakers. For starters, you might want to right off anyone with the name, Virgil.

Finally, it looks like it's not only those evil Muslims who believe in stoning people to death. Apparently "good" suburban kids do as well.

Dorothy, aren't you glad you are not in Kansas anymore?

If you happen to live in Kansas and you were planning on how you were going to spend your state refund check, don't head to the lay away section at your local Wal-Mart just yet. Unfortunately, you won't be getting a check this year. Yes folks, like so many other states in A-merry-ca, Kansas is out of money. And not only will its fine citizens have their refund checks suspended, but apparently, their state workers might not even be getting paid.

Come on field, why do you care what happens in Kansas? Because what is happening in Kansas is indicative of what is happening all over the country. It's happening in California, it's happening in Michigan, and it's happening right here in Pennsylvania. States are in trouble, they are all being forced to make tough choices, and their books are all in the red. To say these are tough times would be an understatement. We are in deep do do, and this seems to be just the tip of the iceberg.

Every time I think about the dire straits that we are in, I reflect on those days under the frat boy, (oh boy here comes field with the "W" bashing again) when he took us into an unnecessary war and shattered our A-merry-can dream; not to mention our children's future. The Bialystocks (that would be the republicans, as in Max Bialystock from "The Producers". Think about it) are bitching and moaning about 700 billion dollars for the stimulus package, but they had no problem with almost three trillion dollars for Iraq. Can you imagine what a trillion dollars would do for the folks in Kansas, California, Michigan, and Pennsylvania right about now? I can, but we can only wish. That money is long gone. The frat boy and his buddies would like to thank you for that. I bet they aren't feeling the recession.

Bastards! I wish they all lived in Kansas.