Okay Zack you are going to get your wish with this post. Not because I am bowing to commenter pressure, but because of an important issue that came up while I was going about my daily routine.
So today I was having lunch with two female colleagues, and the issue of state senator Fumo's comments came up. One of the sisters who reads my blog wanted to know why I was always so quick to stick up for gay rights; and while we were at it...."I don't know field, I mean you do go to 12th Street Gym." (For those of you non Philly folks, 12th Street is pretty much known as the gay gym here in town) "Yeah well they happen to have the best equipment in town, and it it's right by the plantation." "Yeah okay, whatever." You couldn't miss the smirk. The other female at the table, who I didn't know quite as well, was staring at me now. "Well I have a pretty good 'gaydar"'. More stares." "What do you think?" My original inquisitor wanted to know. "Hmmm.. well.. "Don't tell me right now, tell me when we are in the car."
Now most heterosexual guys I know (at least I think they are heterosexual) would usually get pretty defensive at this point. But not the kid. The truth of the matter is, it has never really bothered me when friends, male and female, rip me about my metro sexual characteristics and my gym. My best friend, for instance, is always ripping me about being a closeted homosexual, yet he refuses to leave me alone in a room with his wife. Go figure.
The point is, if I were gay, I would be proud of it, and I sure as hell wouldn't be in the damn closet. I wouldn't be ashamed of who I was, and I sure as hell wouldn't act like it was World War III because someone decided that I was gay, or thought I was. Unlike some of these homophobes out here who will jump through hoops to tell folks that they are not gay. WHO ME? GAY? HOW ABOUT IF I PUNCH YOU STRAIGHT IN THE MOUTH, WOULD YOU THINK I WAS GAY THEN? Ahh sorry dude, I was just trying to get a rise out of you...whoops, poor choice of words.
So anyhooo, my two lady friends are still having fun with me and trying to see if I am Tyler Perry....oh lord did I say that? Tyler, please don't sue me, allegedly supposedly...and all that stuff. "So field do you get naked in the shower? How do you feel with all those eyes on you." "Well I suppose it's kind of like being naked around a bunch of females with a lot less excitement from Mr. Johnson. I mean if I was gay, wouldn't Mr. Johnson at least let me know? I am sure if I was in a locker room filled with naked women Mr. Johnson would let me know. At least I would hope he would." "Okay, just remember _____gaydar is pretty good. "
Lunch is almost over, and we are still on my sexuality probe. I am actually enjoying it at this point. I am talking about my gay friends (I can't believe I just said that, but yes some of my best friends are gay), and other lifestyle issues that would put me squarely in that camp, and one of my guests is imploring me to come out if I am so inclined. I promised her that I will, if I am so inclined, thanked them for their company at lunch, and after a little more small talk, we rolled. Me back to the plantation, and the two ladies to their car to decide the fields sexuality with the assistance of a very good gaydar.
I am sitting in my office thinking about some shit from my past when my cell phone goes off.
It's lunch date number one. We talk some shop (she is an attorney), make a little more small talk, and then I ask her about lunch date number two's gaydar. "Well, what did she say?" I asked, curious now to know the answer. "Oh nothing, honestly field, we didn't even talk about that." I don't believe her, but I don't push it. But I am guessing girlfriend's gaydar is pretty good. Because if it wasn't, I would still be hearing laughter in my ears.
