Quack!

Let me say for the record right now; the Duck Dynasty dude probably should have not been suspended. He is on that network and pulling ratings because he is an ignorant redneck, so to suspend him reeks of Inspector Louis Renault from Casablanca. What kind of enlightened pearls of wisdom do you think would come out of the mouth of a guy like that?

Still, having said that, I find it rather amusing and somewhat interesting that he was suspended for his ignorant and despicable comments about Gays, but all we hear are crickets when it comes to his statements about black folks down in Louisiana.

 "..never, with my eyes, saw the mistreatment of any black person," Robertson is quoted in GQ. "Not once. Where we lived was all farmers. The blacks worked for the farmers. I hoed cotton with them. I’m with the blacks, because we’re white trash. We’re going across the field.... They’re singing and happy. I never heard one of them, one black person, say, ‘I tell you what: These doggone white people’—not a word!... Pre-entitlement, pre-welfare, you say: Were they happy? They were godly; they were happy; no one was singing the blues.” [Source]

Nope, they weren't happy. Mrs. Field's dear granddaddy (may his soul rest in peace) told me so.

Maybe these comments about black folks aren't getting a rise out of folks because quite a few people in the majority population agree with him.

But I can assure you that there was nothing to be happy about in pre- civil rights and Jim Crow Louisiana.

Do you see where Phil is going? He lumps in "entitlement" and "welfare" with civil rights. Nice.

Of course, as is to be expected, this has started a culture war. Sarah Palin and her peeps over at Fox News are supporting the Duck man. (An ignorant bigot will get their support every time.) They think that he is being unfairly treated for speaking his mind. But these same people wanted Martin Bashir fired for speaking his mind about Sarah Palin.  Go figure.

Unbelievably, the governor of the state of Louisiana is supporting the Duck Man as well. I wonder how the blacks in his state feel about that.

Anyway, here comes the NAACP letter:

"We want to be clear why Phil Robertson’s remarks are not just dangerous but also inaccurate. Mr. Robertson claims that, from what he saw, African Americans were happier under Jim Crow. What he didn’t see were lynching and beatings of black men and women for attempting to vote or simply walking down the street"

Yes, but at least they had music.









 



 

Will the church say amen to Obama?

Happy Mother's Day everybody. I actually long for the day when some of you mothers didn't have to raise your little rugrats by your lonesome unless you made a conscious decision to do it.

Anyway, until that day, shout out to all the single mothers out there holding it down on the home front.

I can hear some of you Negro pastors all across A-merry-ca giving your Mother's Day sermons with a little bit of politics. "Field, how would you know? To hear the pastor you have to actually go to church." A little bird  told me. You were telling your flock that you were not pleased with Obama's stance on Gays. (And the men in the choir didn't say amen.) "My brothers and sister, that was not Adam and Steve in the Garden of Eden. That was Adam and Eve." "Amen, pastor Jones!" "The good book of Genesis talks about  those Angels arriving at Sodom and Gomorrah.." "Amen, pastor Jones!" "I cannot tell you all to vote for a man who whose words go contrary to the teachings of the good book." "Amen, Jones pastor!" 

So what's a good Negro Christian to do? If Flipper and his people are smart they would start spending some of that serious money they have on black preachers like W did when he was destroying America. Nothing gets a preacher's ear like some paper with those deceased presidents on it. Start your own "Faith- Based Initiative there Flipper ,and it might reap you some dividends.

Now I suspect, that at the end of the day, these Negroes will still give the black guy at least 85% of their vote, but 5% could be the difference in places like Pennsylvania and Ohio.

I call a dear old friend and the wife of one my mentors to wish her Happy Mother's Day. I know that she is deeply religious and that she went to church today. She said her preacher didn't preach about O, but that she herself was greatly disappointed with him for openly coming out for Gays having the right to marry. I ask her if she will still vote for him come November, and not surprisingly she says that she will. "I just can't vote for that other guy. You know, he is a republican."

Mr. Rove, you might want to hurry with that money.











   

   





  

The Gaydar.

Okay Zack you are going to get your wish with this post. Not because I am bowing to commenter pressure, but because of an important issue that came up while I was going about my daily routine.

So today I was having lunch with two female colleagues, and the issue of state senator Fumo's comments came up. One of the sisters who reads my blog wanted to know why I was always so quick to stick up for gay rights; and while we were at it...."I don't know field, I mean you do go to 12th Street Gym." (For those of you non Philly folks, 12th Street is pretty much known as the gay gym here in town) "Yeah well they happen to have the best equipment in town, and it it's right by the plantation." "Yeah okay, whatever." You couldn't miss the smirk. The other female at the table, who I didn't know quite as well, was staring at me now. "Well I have a pretty good 'gaydar"'. More stares." "What do you think?" My original inquisitor wanted to know. "Hmmm.. well.. "Don't tell me right now, tell me when we are in the car."

Now most heterosexual guys I know (at least I think they are heterosexual) would usually get pretty defensive at this point. But not the kid. The truth of the matter is, it has never really bothered me when friends, male and female, rip me about my metro sexual characteristics and my gym. My best friend, for instance, is always ripping me about being a closeted homosexual, yet he refuses to leave me alone in a room with his wife. Go figure.

The point is, if I were gay, I would be proud of it, and I sure as hell wouldn't be in the damn closet. I wouldn't be ashamed of who I was, and I sure as hell wouldn't act like it was World War III because someone decided that I was gay, or thought I was. Unlike some of these homophobes out here who will jump through hoops to tell folks that they are not gay. WHO ME? GAY? HOW ABOUT IF I PUNCH YOU STRAIGHT IN THE MOUTH, WOULD YOU THINK I WAS GAY THEN? Ahh sorry dude, I was just trying to get a rise out of you...whoops, poor choice of words.

So anyhooo, my two lady friends are still having fun with me and trying to see if I am Tyler Perry....oh lord did I say that? Tyler, please don't sue me, allegedly supposedly...and all that stuff. "So field do you get naked in the shower? How do you feel with all those eyes on you." "Well I suppose it's kind of like being naked around a bunch of females with a lot less excitement from Mr. Johnson. I mean if I was gay, wouldn't Mr. Johnson at least let me know? I am sure if I was in a locker room filled with naked women Mr. Johnson would let me know. At least I would hope he would." "Okay, just remember _____gaydar is pretty good. "

Lunch is almost over, and we are still on my sexuality probe. I am actually enjoying it at this point. I am talking about my gay friends (I can't believe I just said that, but yes some of my best friends are gay), and other lifestyle issues that would put me squarely in that camp, and one of my guests is imploring me to come out if I am so inclined. I promised her that I will, if I am so inclined, thanked them for their company at lunch, and after a little more small talk, we rolled. Me back to the plantation, and the two ladies to their car to decide the fields sexuality with the assistance of a very good gaydar.

I am sitting in my office thinking about some shit from my past when my cell phone goes off.

It's lunch date number one. We talk some shop (she is an attorney), make a little more small talk, and then I ask her about lunch date number two's gaydar. "Well, what did she say?" I asked, curious now to know the answer. "Oh nothing, honestly field, we didn't even talk about that." I don't believe her, but I don't push it. But I am guessing girlfriend's gaydar is pretty good. Because if it wasn't, I would still be hearing laughter in my ears.

Pennsylvania brings back slavery?

If you were wondering why the "O" man got killed in Pistolvania in our recent primaries here, you might want to consider the latest controversy surrounding one of our dumbocratic state senators from Philly. Seems state senator, Vincent Fumo, gave us a little insight into how our state legislators really think ,on the floor of the capital today.

The good senator revealed to us that if his fellow state senators were to cast a secret ballot it would be unanimous that they would vote to bring back slavery. (I guess the state motto, "Virtue, Liberty, & Independence" isn't exactly true now is it) He was talking to a pastor from Philly, Gilbert Coleman, Jr., who was in Harrisburg lobbying on behalf of a rethuglican sponsored bill to outlaw gay marriage.

Now if you think I am going to side with he good reverend on this one you would be wrong. This Negro is in Harrisburg lobbying to take away rights from gays while his city is going to hell in a hand basket. He should have been in his community where his church sits trying to pray and minister to families. Instead, his black ass was in Harrisburg supporting a dumb ass rethuglican bill to take away the rights of some of our fellow citizens. Like gays being married is going to cause me to get shot going to the store. Or cause my damn taxes to go up, or the services I receive from my government to get worse.

So when the state senator called out the reverend I was glad he did it. Yes he (Fumo) was being antagonistic and ignorant, but hey, he told the truth. Who knows his fellow colleagues better than a powerful senior senator who sits in the same body? When he says that if they had a secret vote to bring back slavery they would vote unanimously for it, please believe that he didn't just pull that statement out of the air. Hey he is a big NRA and hunting guy. I am sure he has spent a time or two with his colleagues from the central and western parts of "Pennsyltucky" (someone gave me that word I forget now who it was) , and I am going to trust him on this one.

So thank you senator Fumo, thank you for once again ignoring the white memo, and telling us black folks what goes on behind closed doors.

I saw the reverend on T.V. tonight saying how offended and surprised he was, and how the senator tried to throw him off message. And what message would that be? That I am an ignorant bigoted pastor who instead of preaching a message of tolerance, I preach one of ignorance and bigotry? That message?

Anyway, it might be time for the field to start thinking about moving to another state. (Preferably a blue one). Because I am not feeling the slavery thing. Lord knows I do enough free work as it is.

Straight eye for the queer guy

"We fall down but we get up......for a saint is just a sinner who fell down" ~Donie McClurkin~

So Donnie McClurkin would like us to believe that he was gay once, but now he is cured. After all, he declares, he wasn't born gay. Seems Donnie told the AP that he was once involved with those "desires and those thoughts" which he said was a result of being raped at 8 and 13. "That's what thrust me into it (watch those choice of words there Donnie) and then God delivered me from that and gave me back who I really am and my purpose"......... Yeah right Reverend, and with all due respect, that's bullshit!

No one is born heterosexual and then chooses to become gay. Well I used to get my freak on with women, but I just got tired of the (If I may use two Jamaican slang's) "pum pum" and decided to go to the "batty". But now, after I found God, I decided to go to the "pum pum" again. "But field, can't you see someone experimenting with sex like they do drugs?" Ahhh no!

This focus on Donnie McClurkin comes to you thanks to Obama's run for the presidency and politics as usual in A-merry-ca. Seems Obama has joined Donnie and some others on a gospel tour to help him lock down that very important black church vote. But a funny thing happened on the way to the rapture. It seems a few gay advocacy groups and left wing bloggers dug up some alleged homophobic statements by Reverend Donnie, and now Obama has some explaining to do. "The gloves are off and if there is going to be a war there's going to be a war. But it will be a war with a purpose. I'm not in the mood to play with those who are trying to kill our children" That was Donnie on the gay agenda. Not very nice words there Donnie, no wonder some of those folks are mad at you.

Now let me be clear, I wouldn't have been a fan of Donnie McClurkin if he hadn't made these ignorant ass statements about homosexuality. He lost me when he sang at the Republican Convention in 2004, and when he basically supported the republican agenda in the 04 elections with his bigoted stance on the gay rights issue. Having said that, this whole thing with Obama is bullshit and people just need to chill. I mean what the fuck? So some homophobic preacher who is struggling with his own sexuality endorses him. Does that mean that we paint Obama with the same broad brush? Or play three degrees of separation with every fucking supporter or contributor to his campaign? Of course not. We should do that no more than we would if the Catholic League endorsed him for president. And we all know about those well behaved catholic priests now dont we. No wonder us poor black folks think a black man just can't get a break in A-merry-ca. I mean he runs for president, and they look for all types of bullshit to bring him down with. Of course, if we as black folks weren't so ass backwards when it comes to some of these issues this wouldn't have been a problem in the first place. But sadly, wherever you have hypocrisy you are going to have problems. Black people let's talk: When half of the fucking choir every Sunday morning is just like Reverend Donnie, you have no right to be denouncing any ones personal behavior. You just worry about your own personal salvation and whatever you have to do to get it; and let the big guy upstairs worry about the gay guy singing in the alto section.

"There are many other things to be done to break the curse of homosexuality"

OK Donnie, good luck with breaking that curse. But I have one name for you; Larry Craig.

Musing From My Barber's Chair

Today I headed to my barber to get that straight razor on my dome. (The Bic throw aways can only go so far) Of course, while in my man's chair, I had some thoughts.

So here are a few of the things that were running through my mind today:

What the hell is wrong with Tim Hardaway's ignorant ass? Not only is he a homophobe, but he is a stupid one at that. He goes on a popular sports program in South Florida and declares to the world: "I hate Gay people". My brother, maybe you should reconsider your position. Especially given the fact that your ass belongs to a class of people that ain't exactly loved, if you know what I mean. All those NBA dollars must have made you lose touch with reality. You have nothing to fear from Gays. It's that straight ass white man that's sitting next to you that your ass better start worrying about.

And while we are talking about foot in mouth. Did the Prime Minister of Australia, John Howard, really suggest that Barack Obama is the Al Qaida candidate? Or some such dumb ass thing. Mr. Howard, may I suggest that you "slip another shrimp on the barbie" and shut the f**k up!

I am thinking that now all of a sudden the MSM has grown some, and are starting to get tough on the frat boy and his Iraqi war policies. Well too late. Where were you during the run up to this war, when the frat boy and his minions were lying to the American people to sell this fiasco? I will tell you where you were. Waving flags and cheer leading with the rest of the idiots over at the FAKE NEWS NETWORK. So too little too late as far as I am concerned. I will never trust the American media again. I will just as soon get my world news from the British press or any Third World rag which employees real journalist.

I am wondering why I can't get into Barack. I mean it seems every one else is, black, and white. Every thing seems in place with him. But something about the brother just doesn't sit right with me. Still, I am not going to knock him just yet. I am glad he is on the national scene and exposing white folks to a brother that's....well, articulate.

I am definitely not feeling Hillary. And I am not sure I get all the black love. I can't forgive her flip flopping on this war, and her seemingly perfect answers to every question. Girlfriend, could you let your hair down for just a minute? You are like a f*****g machine.

This blogging thing keeps popping up in my mind. I saw over at My DD where they are still talking about the "blogger apartheid ". (Yeah, they really do care) And I saw where a poster over there said I had some faux anger issues. "So the rage against the machine bit is self created. If you want to talk about Iraq, or oil, or campaign finance reform, or deficit/debt...there's none of that on FieldNegro" . No partner, my rage against the machine issue is not contrived. There is lots to be angry about. Maybe not for you, in your America, but the America I see everyday makes me really angry. So excuse me if I am not "happy" enough for you. If you want to see or hear happy black people, may I suggest you watch BET, or turn on Tom Joyner in the mornings; that's some happy for your ass. If angry black people scare you, you might want to stay the f**k out of the fields. ~~~sorry Mr. Barber, I was just thinking about something~~~ See that My DD poster, thinking about your ass almost got me a nick on my dome. My barber likes me to be very still when he is working his razor.

So I am thinking about this Anna Nicole thing, and how she allegedly went and hooked up with "Dexter" down in the Bahamas. Girlfriend did not play. But I wonder if she is going to be still America's pseudo sweet heart after that little nugget becomes known far and wide. Somehow I doubt it. I mean multiple lovers of the white persuasion is one thing. But Dexter? You see what happened to Madonna's ass, she had to move to England. Too many "Dexters" in her past.

Is that Colin Powell's picture I saw on the back of my milk box this morning? Where the hell is that brother? I am thinking he is with Condi somewhere, drinking shots and cursing the frat boy.

Thank you Mr. Barber, my dome is looking right. Sorry about flinching there for a minute, I was just thinking about some things.

Not That There Is Anything Wrong With That.

Black people can we talk? Seems like one our actors, Isaiah Washington, has done gotten himself into a lot of hot water by dropping the "F" word while referring to a co-star,T.R. Knight, from the hit T.V. show, Grey's Anatomy. No not that "F" word, it seems Mr. Washington referred to Mr. Knight as a "faggot". Now before I get into this, let me say for the record, that I loved my man Isaiah in the "Love Jones" and I was feeling his scene stealing cameo in "Out Of Sight" with Ms. Bootyness. But Isaiah, you have got to chill my man, and enjoy this whole Grey's Anatomy thing. Not only is it executive produced by a sister-Shonda Rimes-but you are making some long dollars by being on the show. So I have to ask you; just what the fu*k is your problem?

Now here is the deal, you all might as well know this right up front about the field, I have no problems whatsoever with Gay's. None! As far as I am concerned, a mother fu***r could be sleeping with imported billy goats from Peru. As long as it's in the privacy of his own home, and he is not hurting anyone, it's fine with me. I guess I am what Bill Olie-ly would call one of those "secular progressives". My attitude towards these sorts of things is "live and let live". So I have to wonder what Isaiah's ignorant ass was thinking when he dropped the "F" word on his co-star. I mean, what would have been the fall-out if the guy had dropped the "N" word on him? But field it's different, people choose to be gay they don't chose to be black. Yeah right, save that sh** for your Sunday school class; no one chooses to be gay, just like no one chooses to have six fu****g fingers.

So here, another black man, ignoring all the sh%* and oppression we have had to endure, makes an ignorant statement about another group of people who face discrimination and prejudice from other Americans on a daily basis. Oh field, why are you so empathetic to the gays, you must have some tendencies yourself. Well actually I do, and when gay guys crack-maybe I should have used another word here- on me it's actually pretty flattering. And yes, I am about as metro sexual as a field negro can get. I get manicures, pedicures, have all sorts of moisturizers and face products in my medicine cabinet, and my style of dress is more Alex Vanderpool (It's a Philly thing) and Dickie Greenleaf (See Jude Law's character in The Talented Mr. Ripley) than say, Joe American straight guy. But as far as my sexuality, I am pretty sure I prefer women to men. Not that it's any of anyones fu****g business who I choose to share my Willy Wonka with.

And I am sure I have come farther than most people on this, because not only am I black, but I also happen to be from Jamaica; one of the most homophobic places you will ever see. Where as a child growing up, I would always hear stories of how "de batty man dem a ketch a beaten". So if I can overcome these ignorant ass homophobic tendencies, I know you can. The irony is, that some of the most homophobic among us, are taking part in dangerous "down low" behavior without their straight partners knowledge, and many of our choirs in church on Sunday and Saturday mornings are filled with...ahem ahem...let's just say some of the less masculine of our congregation. Yet, we turn our heads and act as if this phenomenon does not exist. Kind of like the military, don't ask don't tell.

So Isaiah, my word to you is this: do the Mia Culpa tour, and apologize to whoever you have to. Even if you don't mean it, you had better learn to be tolerant. You work in Hollywood for crying out loud! How can you not be? Stand up and set an example for the rest of us. Show the world that black folks can rise above the ignorance and bigotry of the general population, and that we can treat people who are different, with the respect and tolerance that was never afforded us.