"It's gotta be da shoes", Marco.

"Is it the shoes? ... ITS GOTTA BE DA SHOES"

 I can hear my man Mars Blackmon hollering at Marco Rubio now: It's gotta be da shoes, Marco! 

What a crazy political season. Poor Marco Rubio could find his campaign going down the tubes because of a pair of shoes.

Marco must have thought that no one would notice his boots with the high heels. Shame on him. He should know by now that running for president would put him under a serious microscope.

Everything he does and says is scrutinized to the tenth degree.

The guy just wanted to seem a couple of inches taller. He knows that Americans prefer their presidents tall.   Marco is 5' 10" which isn't bad if you want to be the leader of say, Japan, but it isn't cutting it if you want to be the leader of the free world.

"Let me get this right,” ..... ISIS is cutting people’s heads off, setting people on fire in cages, Saudi Arabia and Iran are on the verge of a war, the Chinese are landing airplanes on islands that they built and say belong to them in what are international waters and somewhat territorial waters. Our economy is flat-lined, the stock market is falling apart, but boy are we getting a lot of coverage about a pair of boots. This is craziness, people.”

No it's not Marco, it's America. We tend to be superficial like that. And we prefer to see our presidents wearing wingtips than some Maison  Margiela knockoffs.  
 
But Marco shouldn't be mad at the public, he should be mad at his presidential rivals. They are the ones making all kinds of jokes and mocking him about his footwear. Rand Paul (who himself looks more like a jockey than presidential candidate) couldn't contain himself and made all kinds of jokes about Marco before going on The View 

Personally, I thought that they looked alright. The snug fitting Polo fleece he was rocking, on the other hand, not so much.

Finally, if you don't think it can be hard being black in America, after watching and reading about the following two incidents you just might change your mind. 

One man was jogging while black,  and the other one was simply shopping at Wal Mart while black.

I swear, to get that kind of unwanted scrutiny as a white man, you would have to be a presidential candidate with a fancy pair of shoes.

*Pic from vanityfair.com






 

Iraqi shoe- ts at our Prez.

So here I am on a crisp Sunday afternoon, going over some post trial briefs, and keeping one eye on some crime show on MSNBC. Then I hear the BREAKING NEWS ALERT, and I glance over to the tube. These alerts always get my attention, because in these volatile and perilous times in which we live, you just never know what might be coming next. So what was it? An Iraqi journalist threw both his shoes at my Commander in Chief. Both of them. (Are we sure we still have Richard Reid in custody?)

Now I don't want to pile on the frat boy, lord knows he has been subjected to enough obloquy and derision. But there was the clip over and over again. The frat boy with that little irritating smirk of his, yucking it up with the Iraqi Premier, and taking questions from the journalist present in the room. And then, shockingly, there is the man doing his best Pedro Martinez imitation with his size tens.

Now my first thought was that the frat boy was pretty nimble on his feet, and he showed some good moves to avoid the first shoe. (The guy should have been a boxer. I bet he would have been a better boxer than he was President) The second shoe was going to miss no matter what because It was high and away. (Ball one strike one) And of course my next thought was, where the hell is the Secret Service? They guy got off two shoes before they could take him down. What if he was firing bullets instead of shoes? And what if those shoes were bombs instead of Iraqi Adams or whatever the hell they wear in Iraq? ("Iraqi Adams", get it?). Hey, let's just be glad that Shaq is on our side. Anywho, I really shouldn't be making light of this, it could have been a seriously tragic event in our nation's history. It could have triggered a war....wait, we are already at war with the Iraqis. Okay, but it could have been a serious historic event, nevertheless.

Obama let that be a lesson to you, you better start calling on those FOX reporters. You don't want them pretending they are Iraqi journalist on you all of a sudden. Who are we going to send to cover the Obama news conference today? How about old Major Garrett, I hear he has a pretty mean fastball. Besides, he wears size 12 shoes, there is no way he can miss.... But don't worry O man, I have a suggestion: all members of the press must remove their shoes before going into the White House press briefings. If they don't want to comply, they don't get credentialed. It's that simple.

Still, even though the shoes missed, this is yet another sad day in what is fast becoming one of the worst and saddest administration in the history of our democracy. Just think about it for a minute: Our President suffered the indignity and the affront of having a journalist from a country he claims he liberated throw his shoes at him. And while in a formal press conference no less. You can't make this stuff up. And if you did, you would have a hit movie or novel on your hands.

Poor frat boy. Honestly, I am actually starting to feel sorry for the guy.

Now I know I am getting old.