CURIOUS FIELD

This post is going to be...well, interesting. You see I was having lunch with a very nice sister the other day, and we got to talking about inter racial relationships. This eventually led to talk about a certain web site, [No direct links for you. You can link the site through one of the links below] and the interesting twist she puts on the whole interracial dating thing.

Said web site is run by a black female who promotes interracial relationships and encourages sisters to date outside of their race. OK, so far so good, because, hey, this is A-merry-ca, and to each his (or her) own as far as I am concerned. True love can be color blind, so that is not my issue.

But then I remembered, this is the same sista that was the cause of an e-fight between two talented black brothers, a fight which I think has caused an ongoing strain in their relationship. Hell, I think I even got between the tit for tat with a post or two, because I thought the entire issue with this blogger was undermining the true spirit of the Afrospear movement.

Anyway, I went to the site, of one of the brothers involved and my suspicions were confirmed. This was the same site run by the same female blogger who somehow had managed to become the object of all this discussion. Now I have no problems with this sista wanting to date outside of her race; but bashing brothers while she goes "Monsters Ball" on us is quite a different story.

So the purpose of this post is to ask this simple question: (Because I have some strong suspicions about this sista) Has anyone ever seen a picture of this blogger? If you have, could you please send me a link? Or, if the blogger herself happens to be reading this and has a photo of herself, the field would appreciate a link. **WARNING** if you send me your picture I will post it.

Maybe later I will get into why this is important; but for now, ---I am sorry to be so cryptic -- that is all I have to say :)

Peace. (I think)

What he says is even scarier than how he looks.

"Hip-hoppers do not kill themselves. They walk away. Now, I didn't need to hear the kid was white with blond hair. Once he'd shot himself in the head, no hip-hopper." Gibson later stated, "I know the shooter was white. I knew it as soon as he shot himself. Hip-hoppers don't do that. They shoot and move on to shoot again." Gibson added: "I know there's a few of you who want to call me racist. But when you do, remind -- let me remind you, African-Americans are dying in major cities because people won't face this problem."

So John Gibson, the FAKE NEWS commentator with a mug only a mother could love, knew that the Cleveland school shooter was white because he killed himself. Apparently, in Mr. Gibson's world, "hip hoppers" (I guess that's translation for black people) don't shoot themselves. They just walk away. The just keep blasting and moving on. Just like we do when we box, we like to stick and move............~~deep breath field, deep breath~~~~ I see my man plez also blogged about this, so I am glad I am not alone with my sentiments among Afrospear bloggers.

Now to be fair to the man with the mug made for radio, it is rare that black shooters take their own lives. I think that has something to do with the fact that usually when black folks are shooting it's for a purpose. Yes, you heard me right; a purpose. We are either shooting someone over money, drugs, or some other valuable---like your whip. That doesn't usually lead to someone taking their own life, because the purpose for shooting someone in the first place is to get something of value from them. Usually when white folks go on a killing spree it's to make a point, and once the point is made; well, that's pretty much all she wrote.

But back to this dumb ass John Gibson; a guy who thinks he is an authority on African Americans killing each other all of a sudden. ( I think he just watched Boyz N the Hood) When did white pundits like Gibson, Rush Limp-boy, O-lie-ly, and the other cast of characters think they can speak to matters of race in this country? I mean really. Is this some kind of revenge of the angry white right wing pundits or some shit? "Yes field we are sick of you people hijacking the racial discussion in this country. We are going to talk about it too, and if your black friends are offended, fuck em. Somebody has to tell the truth in A-merry-ca. " So this poor troubled kid takes his own life because of all the fucked up shit that was going on around him at home and at school, and these ignorant ass mother fuckers make a racial issue of it? And I am guessing the fact that he went to a predominantly black public school makes it a little harder for John Gibson and his ilk, because it all just didn't fit into the racial script. Yes there are plenty white kids going to black public schools. You should visit Philly sometimes John. Not all poor inner city kids are black.

"OK, I thought the kid was a black man, I'll admit it, until I heard he shot himself. Does that make me a racist?" No, it makes you an ignorant ass FAKE NEWS commentator with a radio friendly mug.

But here is a thought: Maybe the poor kid shot himself because he knew that if someone else shot him and he lived, his parents wouldn't be able to afford proper health care because of the frat boy's veto. "Ahhh field that's a low blow, and it's not funny, a young man is dead."

Yep, and I suspect there will be more to come before the frat boy leaves office, and his cheer leaders at FOX stop cheering.

HOUSE SPY NEEDED

"Jay Tea, I, a black chick from Harlem, formally bestow unto to you, not just the authority, but the moral authority to speak about blackness...Now do keep in mind that I voted for GWB twice, loved Rudy G, wanted to smack David Dinkins quite a few times, never ever believed a word that Anita Hill said about my hero Justice Thomas and would love nothing more than for Hillary to have her clock cleaned come November 2008...So my blackness authority to give you authority (complete moral authority) may be a bit questionable...Nevertheless, consider yourself a brother and preach on my man...Preach on...
Feel free to use my name when folks question what makes you think you are an authority...Just tell them I, a black chick, from Harlmen, bestowed upon you this most precious honor...So there!
7. Posted by Adrienne Warden October 10, 2007 3:58 PM "

The following comments were lifted from a *wingnut* web site. [No links for you] I lifted a comment from one of my cousins named Adrienne, because I wanted every one reading this post to get an idea of what goes on in the mind of a house Negro.

So if you are reading this post, and you find yourself in sync with Adrienne, I really do need your help. I know we haven't always gotten along, and many of you (House Negroes) think I am nuts to spend so much time in the fields, --when I could have it so good in the house. But could you help me just this once?

If you do this for me, I promise I won't ask you for anything else.

Here is the deal; since you are in the house with massa, I need you to pay close attention when he is talking in whispers, or when he breaks off into a room and he thinks is out of earshot. I need you to do this because I have been sensing that massa is up to something and I can't quite put my finger on it. I don't know, massa has just been making me really nervous lately. All this talk about going to war with Iran, and on a domestic level, all this shit with the nooses, and the high profile right wingers race baiting on a regular; just have us field Negroes feeling a little nervous and uneasy. I mean I can tell you that we are seriously thinking of running away from the plantation. We are so frustrated and fed up with all the shit that's going on that we are actually killing and turning on each other in record numbers. We are turning our frustrations on each other instead of on massa, and that bothers me.

So come on house Negroes, when you get some information from massa could you pass it on to me please? Let's work together on this one. Just hook your brothers in the fields up just this once. I promise I won't tell massa you told me anything. You have my word as a field Negro, and you can relax, because your place in the house will still be secure.

When the hell did this happen?

If you don't live in a city like Philly, New York, or D.C., you probably won't get this post. But I have to comment on a phenomenon I noticed today while riding the train to Center City, Philadelphia.

While sitting on the train, I couldn't help but notice all the riders with their tiny earphones hooked up to ipods, nanos, shuffles, and all types of miniature play back devices. I mean at least one in every four people had a little earphone in their ears. The shit was amazing. I sat there and kept thinking to myself; when did this happen? When did damn near every A-merry-can get an ipod? It was actually kind of neat to look at everyone and wonder just what they were listening to. The young heads in their school uniforms were probably listening to some new school rap. The older white lady with the ugly artificial fiber suit was probably listening to Sinatra, or Perry Como. The middle aged black lady was probably listening to Luther, or Rachelle Ferrell. Me, I was listening to some old school rap. A single my man Uncle L dropped about ten years ago.

"How you doin miss? My name is L I'm from QueensI heard about your man he like to lace you wit cream Dolce Gabbana, Mo-ski-no wit Donna jeansbut he slipped up, and threw his rock to a fiend He be playin like a Willie cause he dress ya dove Neva knowin that his woman is in need of love You got Versace gold link stomach chains wit rocks Official hair style but you stuck up in the spot Makin love, Duke is weak then he fallin asleep You on the phone wit your old peeps dyin to creep 'tween my sheets So what you got Chanel on your feet Hot sex on a platter makes the mission complete, uh"

I bet none of the people on the train could ever guess what I was listening to. Just some middle aged black guy in his plantation uniform. Dark suit, white shirt, wing tips. They would probably guess some old school R&B. Maybe some Teddy P. or Blue Magic. But they would be wrong. I love to get my rap or dance hall on early in the morning. I gotta get my mind right for the day. I suspect I would be wrong about some of the people on the train my damn self. That older white lady might be listening to some Wu Tang or some shit.

But you gotta love it. I know one thing, either these people are terribly restrained or they are playing some whack ass music, because no one is even moving or nodding their head to the beats they are listening to. (Whoops, I take that back. I just noticed one of my cousins who thinks she is on Soul Train or some shit) Wow, A-merry-cans are so courteous to each other. This shit would never work on the "rock". Us Jamaicans tend to be...well, how do I say this? Animated. We tend to like to express ourselves, and damn it, if we have some good music to listen to, every one around us is going to know about it.

Which leads me to another thing about the ipod's I like; you can put all your favorites on it. No excuse for any lame ass songs anywhere in your line up. Right now I have everything from Sade to King Tubby's on mine; and before I get to my stop, I will have listened to at least three of those bad boys.

"So what you got the cash flow and escro, damn But your honey ran away like presto, ala-kazam Man made the money, money never made the man You still fakin jacks throwin rocks on her hand See, you put your mack down now you Nino Brown Rock roller wit' so much ice your cap's polarI got em smokin beanies, modelin bikinis Pushin ya whip on the freeway to see me I keep it steamy, I make it burn when it's my turn Teachin shorty all the tools that you neva learned Don't get it twisted, gettin money ain't wrong But she wanna make love all night long, I'm gone"

Oh shit, I think I was nodding my head.

THE COONIES: LIFETIME ACHIEVEMENT AWARDS

"Cooning is a verb derived from the word coon. A coon was/is a person of African decent whose sole purpose was/is to entertain white people. These 'coons' started out as wearing black face, characterized by having big eyes and painting big red lips on their face. These people would tap dance, play instruments and sing. Modern day coons are blacks who play stereotypical roles and black entertainers that promote ignorance.Cooning is someone is acting like a 'coon'."

~~Urban Dictionary~~

Folks, I am seriously retiring the "Coonies". I hate to do it, but I already have my daily Field Negroes and Lawn Jockey alerts. So, as a result, I don't think we need the Coonies anymore. The house Negroes among us have more than enough awards among themselves to go around. Hell, Clarence could build a shelf in his home to store all of his hardware.

But before I officially hang up the Coonies; I am moved to recognize some life long coons; black folks among us who have taken cooning to whole other level. So, in their honor, I have decided to present the Lifetime Coonie Achievement Awards. This award is for the coons who have become a part of cooning lore.

But please, once again it is important to keep in mind -- with all due respect to the Urban Dictionary-- that cooning is not always singing, jigging, and making a fool of one's self. (See Eddie Griffin) There can be intellectual coons as well. Coons who might as well be jigging and singing, because the shit they prattle about on a regular is a joke. Sadly, it promotes just as much ignorance, albeit in a different way. (See Thomas Sowell)

So, without further adieu, I present my Lifetime Coonie Award winners:

1. CLARENCE THOMAS: The good justice recently wrote a book, which once again, put him on the national stage. Frankly, I have said everything that I am going to say about the affirmative action poster boy. So Clarence, make room on your shelf for one more Coonie.

2. WARD CONNERLY: Speaking of affirmative action. This brother has made it his mission in life to do away with programs that create an equal playing field for all A-merry-cans. He is from Cali, and I suspect that he has been in the California sun just tad bit too long. Like my favorite uncle, he hates his own peeps, and.....well... let's just say that they have other things in common.

3. LASHAWN BARBER: This one is personal to me, because Ms. Thing banned me awhile ago from her site, which is what made me get my own blog. I suppose I should thank her, but she is still a major coon.

4. THE TOM JOYNER MORNING CREW: This one hurts, because they actually do some good things. But honestly; what the fuck is so funny?

5. SAMMY DAVIS: Sorry Sammy, that whole rat pack shit was kind of cool and all that, but you were always the happy black guy. A posthumous Coonie for you.

6. FIFTY CENT: That shit you do is not hip hop, and it's not gangsta rap; it's cooning plain and simple. But it made you lots and lots of money, because A-merry-ca loves her coons.

7. BOBBY MCFERRIN: Sometimes one simple act can get you coon immortality. "Don't worry be happy"? Negro please!

8. GEORGE FOREMAN: Your grill might be all that, but I am sick and tired of that big goofy smile. Smoking Joe should have knocked your ass out in Kingston back in 1972.

9. JIMMIE J.J. WALKER: J.J., I know your family had some hard times in the projects, and they needed a little comic relief. But, damn it man, everything wasn't DYNOMITE!

10. NIGER INNIS: Like father like son. Who can forget what this coon said when CNN mistakenly called him "Nigger" Innis"? "Oh I though you guys thought I was a rapper or something.." Now that's classic coon behavior.

HONORABLE MENTION:

Jesse Lee Peterson: You are not popular enough just yet to be a major coon, but you have all the other coon credentials.

Snoop Dog: OK, true confessions, the only reason you are not up there with "fiddy" is because I like your flow. But all that glorification of the pimp culture is definitely coon behavior.

Jason Whitlock: Jason, you don't quite have the body of work yet, but you are getting there.

D.L. Hughley: It's a fine line between Richard Pryor and Eddie Griffin. Guess which side you are on?

Robin Quivers: All those years as Stern's side kick, putting up with his sexism,racism, and over all ignorance, makes you a major coon.

Angela McGlowan: Bamboozled huh? You are a big time coon, but one book doesn't qualify for major coon achievement status.

Tony Clayton: Long before Jena this infamous Louisiana DA was putting brothers away for notches in his belt. And, yes, he is black.

One man's heaven.....

"But suppose God is black? What if we go to Heaven and we, all our lives, have treated the Negro as an inferior, and God is there, and we look up and He is not white? What then is our response?" ~~RFK~~

The sad truth about that quote from Robert Kennedy, is that he is already assuming that god is white. And the thought of god being black is an afterthought thrown in to make a shocking point intended to drive home his hypothesis.

Tomorrow is Sunday, and I suspect that most of my white friends who will be in church pretty much share JFK's view of god.---that he is white . They will be worshiping with images of their very white god dancing (well maybe not dancing) in their heads. The truth of the matter is that if most of these people thought that there was even a remote chance that god could be black, they wouldn't be in church. "Yeah heaven might be a great place and all, but they can have it. After what I went through with them down here, I can't stand the thought of living with those people for an eternity. I think I will take my chances with the guy with the funny tail....so it's a little hot down there, hey, I have lived in Florida."

I don't know, personally, I have always kind of seen god as looking something like Bob Marley. That imagery just always kind of fit to me. The flowing dreads, the melancholy facial expressions, the outfits. I could even see Bob trying to make man in his own image. "Thou shalt always smoke the good St. Ann collie weed."

But I am not here to bash religion. In fact, when properly understood, religion can be a good thing. It can be all things to all people. All you have to do is believe. To George Bush for instance, heaven can be one thing. While to Osama Bin Laden, it can be quite another. (I am sure George doesn't expect to meet any virgins in heaven. Although I am sure he wouldn't mind)

To me, heaven is Aston "family man" Barrett, Al Anderson, Tyrone Downie, Carlton Barrett, and Peter Tosh; getting together with god to play the entire "Catch A Fire" album, over and over again.

There is no happiness to pursue...

This is a bad time to be in A-merry-ca. I mean forget the fact that skinny neck ties and tie clips are making a comeback. There is so much fucked up shit happening that it makes a brother just want to join George Clinton on his mother ship and head to Darryl Dawkin's planet. (I think it's called "Lovetron")

But seriously, they are killing Monks in Burma; killing aid workers in Darfur, and killing each other here in Philly. The frat boy vetoed legislation which would have extended medical coverage for children. And, thanks to the New York times, we have found out that our King, his royal dumbness, and his regime, have been torturing American prisoners all along. Of course King George denies these charges. But doesn't he always. King George would lie about the color of his own fucking hair if he could.

And finally, let's not forget about Obama's flag pin. I sure hope the republic survives the fact that there is no flag pin on Obama's lapel. If we don't; blame it on Obama emboldening the enemy and demoralising our troops. But what else do you expect from a commie with a terrorist name? Obama should have known better; how can we protect the Republic of "W" from Islamic terrorist if he keeps doing things like forgetting his flag pin ? That flag pin he used to wear must have some kind of special force shield or some shit. Becasue now that it's off, republicans are losing their fucking minds.

But maybe it's all just politics. Maybe they don't care so much about the fate of the republic of "W" as much as they do scoring political points with their base. You would think people would start spending more time trying to pursue happiness than trying to score political points against their enemies. But the more I think about it the more I realize, that there is no more happiness to pursue. Not in the republic of "W". We are too busy fighting the war on terror, and making sure that all our presidential candidates have their flag pins on.

"When I look at a person I honestly don't see race"

Those words probably represent the biggest lie one human being can tell to another one. It ranks right up there with "the checks in the mail", and "baby I won't cum in your mouth" for its level of dishonesty and mendaciousness. When I hear someone using those words my racial antenna immediately goes up. Why? Because I know they are full of shit, and then I have to start questioning their motives for saying it in the first place, that's why.

I mean honestly; how the fuck can someone look at me for instance and not know that I am black? Shouldn't we be saying something like: "When I look at you I see a black man, and I will treat you just like everyone else by not making false assumptions about you." Now that's an honest statement.

"When I look at a person I honestly don't see race."

Yeah, and when I saw Star Jones before her ahem ahem, surgery, I didn't see a fat person. Yep, Star, you might weigh 300 pounds, but when I look at you I see Janet Jackson. Yao Ming when I look at you I don't see a tall person, I just see a guy from the circus standing on stilts. Give me a fucking break!

Folks, it's like this; sometimes trying to be too PC can actually be a bad thing. You can be PC to the point of being unbelievable, and that's when you come off looking like a real phony, because now you are doing everything it takes not to seem like the racist that you really are. "Well gee field, what's a poor white guy like me to do? I mean I can't win with you people. It's gotten to the point where I don't know what to say anymore without being called a racist". Hey, here is a hint it's real simple; why don't you just say what you really think? Let me decide if you are a racist or not. Because if you tell me shit like "when I look at a person I honestly don't see race", I will know you are a lying to me. And how can we hold hands and sing Kumbaya if we lie to each other?

Homeless in A-merry-ca

"..I do have one question though, whats up with all the homeless people? DCs had a boom on our homeless population, and we're still trying to figure out why, but whats up with Philly?"

That quote from a commenter (lola) from my last post got me thinking about our homeless population here in the city of "brotherly love." Lola is right, our homeless population is getting worse.

Seems there is a homeless person on every corner hitting you up for money. And our homeless people and beggars aren't like homeless people and beggers in other cities. They will sing for money, tell jokes for money, and damn near rob you at cup point if you let them. We have white bums,black bums, old bums, young bums, female bums, I mean you name it, we got em. I haven't seen children yet but I am sure that's coming....although we do have the Girl Scouts with their cookies. I guess that's a form of begging when you think about it.

Our homeless problem has gotten so bad that the city has finally started to notice. And please believe that when our city government finally notices a problem, then you can bet your last penny---if you didn't give it to the bum--- that it's too late.

Oh and speaking of bums; remember when I blogged about one particular homeless guy by my plantation? I promised to find out more about him, and I never got back to blogging about it. Well, sad to say, I haven't seen him in awhile, and someone told me that he might have passed away. I kind of miss that guy, and I sure hope he just got his life back together and is doing alright.

**Finally, since I am following up on shit. Remember when I blogged about the sister who gave me a hard time at the Criminal Justice Center? Well, I had a chance to watch her a little bit this past Monday, and now I have to apologize to her. Because girlfriend was hard on everybody. Everybody had to show their credentials, and she made no exceptions. So I was wrong, girlfriend wasn't singling me out, she was just doing her job.

Damn that felt good. First Anita now this. I feel like a new man.

Little Big Horn, Baghdad, what's the difference?

I never really liked those old Cowboy and Indian movies because I never got off on watching those Cowboys kill a bunch of Indians. The Cowboys always had guns and the Indians had bow and arrows. I mean how fair was that shit? Besides, I guess even at a young age I had this profound sense of fairness and a love for the underdog.

I must be one of just a few people in America who think Custer got what he deserved at Little Big Horn. After all, weren't we the ones intruding into sacred native American land in the Black Hills? What, you think a bunch of Sioux and Cheyenne decided to combine forces to fight the U.S. Calvary for nothing? George Armstrong Custer might have been a civil war hero but he fucked with the wrong Indians that day.

Which leads me to another George. This one not so much of a hero, although I am sure he considers himself very much a Cowboy. Just as we did with the Indians and their land back in 1876, this George invaded and intruded into what the people of Iraq consider their land, it pisses them off, and they are fighting back.

The Sunnis and the Shiites haven't combined forces like the Sioux and the Cheyenne yet but they will. And when they do, Little Big Horn will pale in comparison. I know people like the cheerleaders over at FAKE NEWS like to keep score and a running tally of the bad guys we have killed. "Sixty insurgents were killed by coalition forces today...." but that shit means nothing to me. I keep thinking about those old Cowboy and Indian movies and I can't help but wonder when this latest George is going to get his Little Big Horn. Althought when you think about it; with almost 4,000 American lives lost and many more to come, you have to wonder if George hasn't gotten his Little Big Horn already.

SINGLE WHITE FEMALE

Please no jokes about that picture. (woozie I swear..) Yes, that's JJ with [M]ann Coulter. Hey, why not JJ? From what I hear the lady is somewhat of a freak. Just ask Bill Maher, James Tully, Bob Guccione, Jr., the FBI agent boyfriend, the Democratic Staffer boyfriend, Dinesh D'Souza.....oh lawd I can't keep up with this ninety pound dynamo.

But I love [M]ann Coulter, and I know that most people on the left thinks that she should be thrown in a cage with some of Michael Vick's starving dogs; but I tend to disagree. We need [M]ann, we need that person from the right to tell us what they really feel about the rest of America.

[M]ann coulter knows that. [M]ann Coulter is no dummy. Michigan Law Review, Cornell undergrad, the whole nine. Trust me, as someone who had a potential law review article rejected, I understand that to get on Law Review it took some work and some serious smarts. So I honestly believe that there is some brains in that big blond head.

America needs [M]ann Coulter. Forget the fact that she said that Timothy McVeigh should have gone to the New York Times building. That she called for Bill Clinton's assassination. That she called John Edwards "fag". That she said the 911 widows were glad for the tragedy and profited from it. That she called for a "final solution" for all Muslims.... I could go on, but you get the point. In spite of all her outrageous rants, I want her to keep writing (she has a new book coming out tomorrow) to keep talking, and to keep making those FOX NOISE appearances. Fortunately, I don't have to wish too hard, because Ann loves the spotlight, and like an aging porn star, she just won't go away.

So here is one blogger who supports the anorexic one. She has every right to speak her mind, and to keep writing her books.

Her fans will keep buying those books, and keep making her rich. And you know what; they deserve every inch of her bony frame.