I had to do it, it's hard out here in the fields.
Here are the top ten house negroes in America:
1. Clarence Thomas- Straight out of central casting for this role. Turned on his own sister, married outside of his race, makes decisions on the court that even his white colleagues find draconian towards minorities. The guys name is Clarence Thomas for crying out loud!
2. Lynn Swann-Good luck on your run for Governor of Pennsylvania Lynn. I hope all those western Pennsylvanians that say they will vote for you don't change their minds once they get in the voting booth.
3. Ward Connerly- Championed a proposition in California to do away with affirmative action in public schools. And like Clarence, married to a white woman.
4. Allen Keys- Ran for President as an extreme social and fiscal conservative. Embarrassed himself by running against Barak Obama for the vacant Illinois senate seat. I think he got 2% of the vote.
5. Will Smith- Yeah I am from Philly like my home boy Will. But I promised to keep it real on this blog. Now Will seems to be a good guy, but massa sure keeps him in the house a lot.
6. Donovan McNabb- While we are on a Philly theme. I might as well put chunky soup man down too. Hey, he campaigned management to get the best player in Eagles history out of town (T.O.) becasue the guy wouldn't toe the company line. Doesn't want to be percieved as a black QB , thus no scrambling. HELLO! Can you say Fran Tarkenton? The last time I checked he was white.
7. Colin Powell- Yes General, you too. I respect you, and I love your stance on affirmative action, but you love the house a little too much for my taste.
8. Thomas Sowell- See my comments on this blog about an article this arch conservative self hater wrote.
9. Oprah Winfrey- Yes girlfriend you too. That whole Aunt Jemima routine was old for me when you started your show years ago. Nothing has changed, you just have more money to dress it up a little more now. Besides, I can't get over what you are doing with this book club thing. (See article on this blog)
10. Wayne Brady- Still singing and dancing in the house the last time I checked.
Let me give an honorable mention to couple of people:
- A.M. Tony Clayton-Black prosecutor in Baton Rouge, Louisiana. OK, so he put away Derrick Todd Lee the Louisiana serial killer. But this guy only likes to prosecute his own people. He will take a plea bargain with a white defendant but never with one of his own. Has sent more innocent blacks to Angola, than twenty white prosecutors combined.
- Condi Rice-This was a bit tough for me because I must admit that I kinda like Condi, but she needs to come out here and spend a little more time with us field negroes.
- J.C. Watts-Black republican congressman from Oklahoma, who ran away from the field and swore he aint never going back. "Wasn't it his dad that said: "A black man voting republican is like a chicken voting for Colonel Sanders"
Former member of the list.
- O.J., until he fooled around and killed missy. "Now he out here in the field with us".
***Just a note; this list is subject to change.