Thursday, March 09, 2006

TOP TEN HOUSE NEGROES IN AMERICA


I had to do it, it's hard out here in the fields.
Here are the top ten house negroes in America:

1. Clarence Thomas- Straight out of central casting for this role. Turned on his own sister, married outside of his race, makes decisions on the court that even his white colleagues find draconian towards minorities. The guys name is Clarence Thomas for crying out loud!

2. Lynn Swann-Good luck on your run for Governor of Pennsylvania Lynn. I hope all those western Pennsylvanians that say they will vote for you don't change their minds once they get in the voting booth.

3. Ward Connerly- Championed a proposition in California to do away with affirmative action in public schools. And like Clarence, married to a white woman.

4. Allen Keys- Ran for President as an extreme social and fiscal conservative. Embarrassed himself by running against Barak Obama for the vacant Illinois senate seat. I think he got 2% of the vote.

5. Will Smith- Yeah I am from Philly like my home boy Will. But I promised to keep it real on this blog. Now Will seems to be a good guy, but massa sure keeps him in the house a lot.

6. Donovan McNabb- While we are on a Philly theme. I might as well put chunky soup man down too. Hey, he campaigned management to get the best player in Eagles history out of town (T.O.) becasue the guy wouldn't toe the company line. Doesn't want to be percieved as a black QB , thus no scrambling. HELLO! Can you say Fran Tarkenton? The last time I checked he was white.

7. Colin Powell- Yes General, you too. I respect you, and I love your stance on affirmative action, but you love the house a little too much for my taste.

8. Thomas Sowell- See my comments on this blog about an article this arch conservative self hater wrote.

9. Oprah Winfrey- Yes girlfriend you too. That whole Aunt Jemima routine was old for me when you started your show years ago. Nothing has changed, you just have more money to dress it up a little more now. Besides, I can't get over what you are doing with this book club thing. (See article on this blog)

10. Wayne Brady- Still singing and dancing in the house the last time I checked.

Let me give an honorable mention to couple of people:
  • A.M. Tony Clayton-Black prosecutor in Baton Rouge, Louisiana. OK, so he put away Derrick Todd Lee the Louisiana serial killer. But this guy only likes to prosecute his own people. He will take a plea bargain with a white defendant but never with one of his own. Has sent more innocent blacks to Angola, than twenty white prosecutors combined.
  • Condi Rice-This was a bit tough for me because I must admit that I kinda like Condi, but she needs to come out here and spend a little more time with us field negroes.
  • J.C. Watts-Black republican congressman from Oklahoma, who ran away from the field and swore he aint never going back. "Wasn't it his dad that said: "A black man voting republican is like a chicken voting for Colonel Sanders"
    Former member of the list.
  • O.J., until he fooled around and killed missy. "Now he out here in the field with us".

    ***Just a note; this list is subject to change.

7 comments:

Anonymous said...

Massa miz nu want fe leave de house massa, it be too good in here. [Priceless]

Dangerfield said...

Another bone to pick with you. this amounts to calling people. If you dont like somebodies politics or oppinions that is fine but in my oppinion it is time for black folks to stop calling other folks names(especially people who you disagree with). You cheapen yourself, we will never grow or develop as a group of people until we learn how to dissagree without calling names we are furthering the negativeness that permeates our culture. If you want to take issue with these people fine, but I think you should do it without calling people names. Who gave you or any other individual black person the right to decide who is an uncle tom and who isnt. Specifially when you talk about Oprah were you are of the fact that oprah is educating several hundred young girl in souht africa, as far as the donavon mcnabb thing goes your boy (coon)T.O was totally out of line, did mcnabb say anything in response To's comments during the season no, he took the high ground and Ive never heard him say anything about not wanting to be a black quarterback. You also seem to forget that T.O had these same,issues in san fran, called out his coach and quaterback. Have you forgotten the sharpie or running to star in dallas and waving his arms around like a monkey (look at me)what does that say about a black man. As far as towing the company line last time I checked T.O was getting paid millions of dollars to play ball, not to call his quaterback out for no reason. As far as being the best player in Philly history maybe you could make that argument, but I why not McNabb after all he is getting ready to break both cunninghams, and Jaworski's career td record. He has presided over the most successful 6 year run in philly history and hes been to the champion chip game 3 years in a row. T.O has only been there once, that's under the leadership of McNabb. FN I respect your rebuttal skillz but judgment is a little off. But I wont continue with this I just leave you this web address were you can check out McNabbs stats. www.philadelphiaeagles.com/team/teamRosterDetails.jsp?id=29780 Peace FN. P.S I really wish you would stop with the name calling business it dosent help us, black folk have been calling people tom's for years and where has it got us,nowhere you are to sharp to cheapen yourself by what amounts to as name calling. We need folks like you to punish the LaShawn Barbers and the Armstrong Williams's when they get over the top and are taking liberties with the truth. Mark

Anonymous said...

Field Negro,

let me understand you are saying that if a black person decides to educate themself, obey the law, pursue a career, and raise the children he fathers then they are an uncle tom and a sell out. what has clarence thomas done wrong besides work his way up to the supreme court of the united states. you are a disgrace. i rather be a sell out then a deadbeat dad with no education and can only sell drugs to live. maybe the situation in america would be better if we had more sellouts and less true blacks. by blacks have no one to blame about oj but thier prejudical selves

field negro said...

"What has Clarence Thomas done wrong besides work his way up to the Supreme Court of the United States?"

Well, that's exactly what he did wrong. He has hurt my people more by being on that court that any of the other justices ever could. I could care less how much affirmative action he got on the way, or how many white mentor's he had. He is a self hater, and a strict constructionist to boot. The irony is that if the court always interpreted the law the way he does now, his dumb behind would be considered less of a man than the average white person.

As for working hard, following the law, and achieving something out of life? Well those are the attributes of a any good citizen. the difference however, between the field and the house negro, is that the house negro will forget where he came from and turn his back on the very people that helped him get where he is. The field negro on the other hand, will never forget where he came from, and will, in fact, try to uplift others with him.

FN

Anonymous said...

Nice rebuttal field!

Anonymous said...

This list is SPOT ON! Thank you, thank you for your honesty and candor, dear author. We live in a nadir-esque and dark era....one where "good is bad", and "war is peace", etc–and along these lines we now have black folk in high positions who have gotten into those high places by screwing over their own...think "oreo".

What would MLK think of this list? Of course, he would fully agree with it. On a positive note, Anthony Van Jones is cool...figures wanker Obama would fire him LOL

M. Howard said...

I bet you're some uneducated black man, that sits in his home looking up a whole bunch of people you don't got no business looking up doing anything you don't like so you can call them a coon.

The amount of black people like you make us look so bad. If they're against black on white racism, educated, date outside their race, do literally anything that's against your biases you call hem a coon. You're the type that keeps us "stupid"