Monday, June 26, 2006

Will The Real Ving Please Stand Up?

This is the first and last time the field-negro will post pictures of himself on this blog. This is being done for a reason. -Well two reasons actually- The first one is to help a friend win a bet. It seems she has had a running battle with another friend who occasionally reads my blog, and who swore up and down I was another mutual friend of theirs. My friend, who actually knew who I was, bet this sceptic, and begged me to post my picture so that she could collect on the bet. Well here it is, and I want my cut.

Now the second reason is to have a little fun with you, and to warn my man Ving Rhames that he better check his credit cards at all times. (Just Kidding) But seriously, this happens to me every time my man Ving is in a major movie. It started with "Rosewood", then it was "Pulp Fiction", then"Con Air", and now right into the "Mission Impossible" franchise. I will be out somewhere and invariably someone will come up to me and say: "You look just like Ving Rhames" Now if its a white person, they will say something like: " You look like that guy, I can't think of his name, you know, the one from 'Mission Impossible', or -----insert one of the movies I named above here--- And so it goes, until my man's latest project dies down, I will get stares in restaurants, on the street, and at work. Of course I have a standard answer for that comment, and it goes something like this: "Yeah, but I sure wish I had his money". Now this Ving Rhames thing has gotten ugly at times for me too. After "Pulp Fiction" I caught hell from my friends about a certain scene in the movie. Some went as far as to mimic that now infamous scene where Ving gets...-well we won't bother to describe it. Let's just say when Ving is caught in an uncomfortable position- whenver they saw me. Thank goodness that movie is behind me.-No pun intended- although every now and then, it plays on cable, and if I happen to see it, I start worrying all over again, that the jokes will start from my boys.

But other than that, it's cool, no harm no foul. Heck, Ving needs to be the one that's worried. After all, he is the celebrity with a lot more to lose if the field-negro decides to pretend he is Ving one day, and do some very un Ving like things. I can see the headlines now: ACTOR VING RHAMES ARRESTED FOR DRIVING HIS LEASED PORCHE 911 OF SPEEDS IN EXCESS OF 120 MILES AN HOUR. Again I kid . I will be a good field-negro and uphold Ving's image and not do anything to put him in the news. Although I was thinking....I wonder if Ving knows Lark Voorhies? Mmmmm, maybe Ving and I need to talk.

While I am in an entertainment mode, I was tinking about something. I was driving to work this morning and a Luther Vandross classic came on the radio. Man did he sound good. I mean that brother could sing like an Angel. So anyway, I was thinking, in my life time was there anyone that could do it better than Luther? I am not sure, and in order to help myself, I came up with a list of my top ten balladeers or crooners of all time. No explanations needed just their names: [This order could be jumbled by reversing ten and one and visa versa and you wouldn't get an argument out of me]

1. Luther Vandross
2. Sam Cooke
3. Nat King Cole
4. Marvin Gaye
5. Dennis Brown
6. Frank Sinatra
7. Will Downing
8. Brian Mcnight
9. Al Green
10. Smokey Robinson

This was a male solo list only. So some great group singers like Phillipe Wynne, and Frankie Beverly were left off. As were the greats from the female side. I will get to them next time. Hey, I was listening to Luther OK!


mark said...

Yo Field great post. I like the way you add humor, anyway my greatest is Marvin although maye ole blue belongs on this list but not for his singing ability(dont care for him a whole lot). Mark

mark said...

Yo Ving( Oh Im sorry I meant Field)I really enjoyed Rosewood that was my favorite movie starring Field Negro or is it Ving Rhames? Anyway Ving oh damm Im sorry I meant field why do you find it neccessary to impersonate famous african american actors to make time with beautiful washed up wannabe actresses. Sad. Anyway Im going home now because you are confusing me as to your real identity. Mark. Peace

field negro said...

Peace back :)

Ving...I mean FN

ugz said...

ya Star! Wa'Gwan :)

Glib Gurl said...

What about Mr. Donny Hathaway??? I'm not sure who Dennis Brown is -- I'll have to investigate! (You won't take away my black card, will you? *lol*)


Steve Falcon said...

FN, Luther was DEFINITELY the Man!! I wished he'd lived long enough for me to thank him personally for all the lady luck he brought me in the 90's.

field negro said...

GG your "black card" is fully intact:)
Unless you are Jamaican, or a serious fan of reggae, I wouldn't expect you to know who Dennis Brown is. -He was probably the greatest pure reggae singer of all time. And he had a serious voice.

But Donny Hathaway...damn, what was I thinking? I forgot all about him.
Good one!


TNB Alerts said...

LOL, you look more like suspect #3 in the rape lineup at Precinct #14!

Now. On to Luther Vandross. Yeah, he was a cool fellow with a very nice voice. Too bad he died so young and it's really too bad negroes just stop singing. Now all they do is wrap about popping caps in heads an all that TNB sheeit.

field negro said...

TNB alerts, I didn't have to rape your mother and sister. They came to the fields voluntarily. Something about once you go black ;)

I know I promised, but that was too easy:)

mark said...

Yo blog I guesse the Field Nazi tap dancing in the backround has suffured some slight at the hands of an african american and now he blames all of us for his pain. This is what I think happened. He use to hang out in the black neighobor trying to sell drugs. Some brothers exposed, isolated him, beat his and then framed up. Then while in Jail all 98 black inmates on his floor had thier way with him then handed him over the the Aryan Brotha hood. So now even though we dont know this BLOGTURD he holds us personally responsible. To him we are the man. Problem is he intruded into our world. We wasnt bothering this clown (Field Nazi). We dont come down to your imaginary concentration camp bothering you. Anyway it is obvious to me that your experience in the Pen has made you bitter. Youve got battered white trash syndrome, and so now to relieve yourself of humilation you just tapdance in the backround while we discuss matters of importance. It is obvious to me you loved getting smacked around. Now thats some real Typical Nazi Behavior. Yo Field Nazi we can do for the next 300 years. But the fact is you have proven yourself to be a coon. You are a joke. Keep singing backround fool. Mark

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