Thursday, February 14, 2008

My not so ode to Valentine's Day.


Cupid is a slick little SOB. And, honestly, I never really trusted the little mother %$#&^%.

Sometimes the little asshole will shoot you with that arrow of his when you least expect it. ---Like he did to yours truly a few years back. And sometimes he will just do shit to be funny (Think Janet Jackson and Jermaine Dupree, or J Lo and Ben Affleck).

But you really have to wonder about a guy who wastes his time shooting people like Newt Gingrich and Elizabeth Taylor over and over again with that damn arrow of his, yet he still can't find the time to shoot the Protestants and Catholics in Northern Ireland, the Sunnis and Shiites in Iraq, or the Jews and Palestinians, just once.

And now we have an entire day dedicated to this little asshole. --Like I need a day to be reminded that I have to bring Mrs Field flowers, or that I have to take her to a really nice restaurant every now and then-- Ladies , if your man only does nice things for you on Valentine's Day you might have a problem. Valentine's Day is great if you are a florist or a chocolate maker, but for all of us left vulnerable and exposed to that damn arrow; it's anything but nice. (Hell, here in Philly we literally have a love train for folks.) Now before you go ripping me for being all negative, I have some good things to say about Cupid as well: His arrow seemed to have been right on the mark with folks like Michelle and Barack, Will and Jada,or the Augers of Louisiana. So the little sucker doesn't always miss. Sometimes he shoots straight for the heart and hits his mark. Still, you have to wonder why he doesn't do that all the time. If he did, I wouldn't have a problem giving him a day, a year, or whatever the hell he wanted.

So, for now, I am officially not feeling Valentine's Day. But I am going to wish you all a happy one. Maybe you can put it to better use than I can.

Anyway folks, I gotta go. I am still checking with florist online who can deliver by tomorrow. :(

36 comments:

Robster said...

Thanks, Field.

I'm unattached, so unless that situation changes when I come home from work I'll be watching the Maple Leafs or NASCAR with a Guinness in one hand and the remote in the other.

Not that that's a bad thing on a Thursday night.

field negro said...

OK, I am feeling the Guinness reference. The Maple Leafs & NASCAR?....not so much :)

Don't worry you won't be unattached for long. Not with cupid running around.

Jody said...

Field, Field, Field....
Ok, here is a bit of a different perspective......
This is one of my Favorite days..... I don't think of it only for romance, it is Love Day... a day to tell all the people in your life you love them... a day to enjoy watching people running around with flowers knowing that they are not for condolences or get well, but because they want someone to know they love them. It is a day to make someone smile and know they are loveable..... Friends, Family, even a smile and a Happy Love Day to the person waiting at the bus stop or walking down the street. In this crazy world, having a day dedicated to people telling each other they love each other is a wonderful thing....
So with that, Happy Valentines! I hope all of you have a blessed day and feel the love.
Jody

Cluizel said...

Happy Valen...blah whatever. :-)

"Cupid is a slick little son of a bitch. And honestly, I never really trusted the little mother fucker." <~~~ Love it! lol

NSangoma said...

~
Yoni, yoni, yoni

That pink patch of flesh that is revealed when the upper labia are separated to encourage the clitoris from its hood, is what we in the west know as the valentine.

Negroe males know nothing of this, because they do not partake.

The original purpose of the valentine, was an effort on the of partaking males, to return to the female something that is as sweet as that which the females were presenting to the male, that yoni.
`

Christopher Chambers said...

Finally Nsangoma's talking the truth.

Plus Field, every "holiday" we have is a marketing gimmick, just as every Christian event/holiday isrooted in a pagan belief. Cupid was a naughty little god--hey, his Greek counterpart was "Eros." Nuff said. But the Greeks and Romans, and other older, non-Christian cultures didn't layer a lot of marketing and cutsey bullshit over this stuff.

In the islands, there's the traditional "calabash rub" as a valentine (originated in Jamaica), wherein the man fills a calabash with overproof rum, drinks half, then rubs it on the women's gigantic butt as she smokes some lambsbread weed.

Christopher Chambers said...

Um...ok just kidding about the calabash.

Will and Jada? Gay and gayer? Freak and freakier? LOL

The concept of soulmate is illusory. You find the person who best fits you.Common ground helps. Common ground isn't always "positive" or intimate. Bonnie and Clyde had common ground. The golddigger and the rich m-f have common ground. The couple who cite Jesus every ten damn seconds and go to the pastor for every little issue have common ground. Common ground is actually one of the glues to a relationship. It doesn;t set unti Cupid's done his thing, however.

Randi523 said...

I'm currently single and loving it, so I'm not celebrating Valentine's Day. But as I think about it, even if I do get in a relationship/get married (NOOOOOO! LOL) in the future, I don't think I'll expect my boyfriend/husband to get me anything for this "holiday." What is the big deal? Remember and get me a nice gift for my birthday, Christmas, and maybe our anniversary, and I'm good.
Besides, isn't love supposed to be free? From the heart??

Kellybelle said...

Ready for this? I work for a greeting card company. White folks are running around in sweaters with hearts on 'em, those little headband-springy-antler things with the glittery hearts on top, and everybody brought heart-shaped baked goods and candies. Women are staring out of the window waiting for the florist's truck to arrive, LOL.
I downloaded "Valentine Love" by Michael Henderson and my boo texted me. I'm happy.

field negro said...

Jody,please consider moving to Philly,we use some of that love here:)

"Calabash and overproof rom(hopefully some Appleton) and we are good. Yeah I might be able to warm up to V Day with some of that.

Randi523, cupid is looking for you my child. Just don't let him shoot you in the heart.

Kellybelle,are you serious? A greeting card company? Wow! This is why I love blogging.

I get to hear from so many interesting people. You have to give us an insight into how the biz works. What knew holiday are they coming up with to sell cards next?

Dark & Stormy said...

Never been a fan of cupid myself... I'm cool with everybody running around cheesing and wearing pink or red. But I am tired of all the dumb text messages I keep getting.

Robster: Cheers baby! The Guiness is waiting at home for my arrival :) Think I'll be watching CSI instead of NASCAR.

Dirty Red said...

Field, I hate this day too.
Reason # 1 My wedding Annivesary is Jan 30, so not only am I expected to spend money on that day, but 16 days later I got to do it all over again.

Reason #2 I am still paying off credits cards for the gift I got Wifey for Christmas, which was all but 2 monthes ago.

Reason #3 Wifey's birthday is Jan 17, so that is more damn money I spent that I don't really have.

So Field I am getting hit 3 monthes straight, and all I can do is grin and bear it, and hope for a little of that yoni, yoni yoni that your boy nsagoma was talking about.

I think maybe if I see Cupid's punk-ass, I am going to send him to Philly. Maybe those fools that are killing each other on your streets will take care of him for us.

Either that or send him to one of America's public schools.

hennasplace said...

I am among the unattached black women in this country, and it does not bother me. I have not been on a date in several years and it because I find the game silly. People romanticized love, but do not place enough emphasis that you have to learn to live with one another and build a relationship.

I find it interesting that what we learn from family relationships such as learning to live with siblings and parents that we do not apply that in building relationships with a significant other.

Love is about acceptance, and yes you have to like the person as well. Are you willing to accept the person who snores and endure her or his moodiness. I think Joseph Campbell was right when he said that marriage is an ordeal in that you and your significant other have to face not only the good times, but bad times as well. You have to form a partnership and do what is good for the relationship and not individually.

I think Barack & Michelle, Jade & Will, and Ossie & Ruby relationships work because the share similar interests and values with everyone involved doing the work and making some compromises for the sake of the relationship, so I do not believe that opposite attract as it will eventually phase. Now, I am not anti-love because I do believe love does exist and can deepen over time, but people need to work to hold their relationships and love will not always be enough (at least not romantic love).

Perhaps, I will find someone when it is time to put myself out there. For the moment, I am content with the current relationships of family and friends in my life, and be ready for that significant other (I do not know about marriage, so it is one step at a time).

The Christian Progressive Liberal said...

Don't feel bad, Field; we single sistas don't have any easier.

I don't mind the "waiting to exhale" gatherings with my girls, but dang, sometimes the Christian Progressive Liberal wants a pair of arms with biceps holding her and whispering Will Downing songs in her ear.

Especially on today. Which will find me buying a bunch of flowers from the DC street vendor on my way home to cheer myself up. However, I have decided I want a real hamburger so I'm going to Five Guys here in DC and get my grub on.

Who knows, that lil' bastard might shoot his arrow while I'm diving head first into a bacon cheeseburger with the gooey fries... LOL

Christina Springer said...

Dear Kellybelle,

Please inform your colleagues that cards are needed for couples who:
+ are best friends;
+ have been together over 8 years and still get the groove on like the first six months;
+ give each other fantastic books in lieu of perishables like flowers, candy, candlelight or dinner;
have children;
+ are Black;
+ and have money to spend on greeting cards. (But, don't because they all suck.)

Thank you. I appreciate your time and attention to this matter. :)

Christopher Chambers said...

Field, on a meaner tip, I drank some Wray & Nephew and posted my Darfur rant...
www.natturnersrevenge.blogspot.com

RedLipstick said...

I like Valentine's Day. I just received flowers from the hubby. He's very thoughtful and I think that's the whole point. I'm very thankful for him and I try to show him each and every day. Besides this is the best day to match my cute red stilettos with my lipstick.

Come on Field...get over yourself and let the Mrs. tame the mandingo tonight!

Christopher said...

I was feeling Cupid's arrow about 6am and I could barely walk afterwards!

But, back to Barack and Michelle.

This really goes out to all you Ohio and Pennsylvania folks.

Hillary Clinton has double-digit leads over Barack Obama in Ohio and Pennsylvania, both crucial states in upcoming primaries, according to Quinnipiac University poll released on Thursday.

Time is on Obama's side but letters to the editors of leading Ohio newspapers reminding Democrats that a vote for Hillary Clinton is really a vote for John McCain, as every poll shows McCain will hand Hillary her ass in the General Election.

Let's close the gap!!!

Kellybelle said...

Field: I wish we could invent some holidays; I need a raise!

Christina:
My sister, I agree with every last thing you said! Know that there are a few of "us" trying to create the cards we know folks want. I'll share what you said with my boss--they never believe I know anything about Black people, despite my decades of experience as a Negro, LOL.

Kim said...

Gee Field, bitter much?

Lola Gets said...

"Will and Jada? Gay and gayer? Freak and freakier? LOL"

Hey, freaks need love too!


"Who knows, that lil' bastard might shoot his arrow while I'm diving head first into a bacon cheeseburger with the gooey fries... LOL"

Honey, that all depends on which one you go to. Last week, I couldnt get this white Oklahoman guy to stop talking to me at the one at Dupont Circle. Gave me all his contact info too. Hm...perhaps I should call him...lol.

"I was feeling Cupid's arrow about 6am and I could barely walk afterwards!"

Christopher, you are so bad! Wish that were me.
:(

L

Christina Springer said...

Thanks Kellybelle,

You may assure them that I have 42 years of experience as a Negro. But, perhaps, a consultant may help them understand how much you bring to the company. (www.rentanegro.com)

While you're at it, could you also please invite them to have a look at modern Black poets? The aesthetics have changed quite a bit in the past few years. (www.cavecanempoets.com)

Meanwhile - I'll just keep giving him home made cards. Thank God he's married to a poet Or not - as the case may be.
http://christinaspringer.blogspot.com

field negro said...

"What knew holiday are they coming up with to sell cards next?"

Did I say "knew" and not new holiday? Geez, this V Day has me all screwed up :)

Hey Dirty Red we will start a fund for you.

christ.prog. if I were in D.C., I would send some flowers your way :)
Just be careful, you don't want that little man shooting you when you least expect it.

"I drank some Wray & Nephew and posted my Darfur rant..."

chris, what yu no bout Wray & Nephew bway? I am an Appleton man myself, but I feel you. I will check out your post. You know I am always lurking over there :)

"Field: I wish we could invent some holidays; I need a raise!"

LOL!

"Come on Field...get over yourself and let the Mrs. tame the mandingo tonight!"

No comment redlipstick. But it's right at the tip of my tongue :)

kim, I am really not that bad. I will try to be nicer.

Thanks for those links Christina, I will check them out. I am always down with brown when it comes to commerce.

AC said...

As yet another singleton, I find that wine, popcorn and a good movie always help me past this artificial holiday.

I appreciated your warning to the ladies about men who only indulge in flowers and dinner on Valentine's day. Duly noted for future reference, lol!

Mrs. Field sure is a lucky woman, no doubt, you are a lucky man as well. However you spend the holiday - have a great one.

The Christian Progressive Liberal said...

Lola, you are so baaad, LOL!

I never thought to check out the Five Guys in Dupont Circle, cause a sista's trying to throw down that bacon cheeseburger with serious hunger...and the Okie from Musgokee was trying to holler at you because you know Dupont Circle is that enclave that reminds me of Berkeley and Haight-Ashbury, but in a good way. The Okie was probably trying to convince would be lookers in the circle that he's straight...LOL, and you probably should have allowed him to holler at you.

If you can't be with the one you love, honey, love the one you're with, LOL.

Field, thanks for making a sista's day with the kind words. Now let Mrs. Field "minister" to you tonight, okay, cause I want you posting like a man that got his fill of loving on Valentine's Day, alright?

Christopher, you rock - and I know Jim is probably one happy camper...as for the aches and pains of loving, may I suggest epsom salt baths after? LOL

Jody said...

Hey Field,
I AM in Philly.... and I work for a criminal defense attorney.... Our building is a small place on Camac street and I was passing out Chocolate truffles to all the cynical lawyers... put a smile on their faces.... Happy Love Day!
Jody

Christopher said...

Christopher, you rock - and I know Jim is probably one happy camper...

Back at cha', Christian Progressive Liberal.

404Kim said...

Ya - I cannot stand Valentines Day either... but thats because I'm a singleton :(


It's quite strange, I've found that people who hate Valentines day the most are those who are actually in a relationship.


I don't believe it however - I think thats crap they spew to single people so we don't feel bad.


Bah Humbug!

shy giraffe said...

me and cupid, we don't talk no more. i'm not in his good list. personally, i don't think he can aimed well, with his glass eye. i'm declaring jihad on that pink azz mofo.

field negro said...

"me and cupid, we don't talk no more. i'm not in his good list. personally, i don't think he can aimed well, with his glass eye. i'm declaring jihad on that pink azz mofo."

That's my girl :)

Lola Gets said...

@CPL
Man, reading about their burgers is making me hungry - again! Nah girl, Im all for "loving the one youre with" but Lola has some major issues loving white men. Im sorry, but Id have to make a serious paradigm shift in order to do so.

Although I did try to use positive imaging when looking at Okie dude. "Look at the white man...feel the white man...picture the white man naked..." you get the idea. Didnt work though, lol.

Damn I want a cheeseburger now.

L

The Christian Progressive Liberal said...

Lola, I feel you on trying chocolate before you go to vanilla. Although some white guys can be vanilla with spice or white chocolate, you know.

Some of my sisteren have been very suprised by them. Guess I'm loyal, but if that's the package it comes in, it's all good.

And yes, that cheeseburger was off the chain...LOL

nyc/caribbean ragazza said...

I posted the song "I Can't Stand This Living All Alone" by the late, great Ms. Hyman on my blog for Valentine's Day.

I'm not feeling Cupid either. ha

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