Monday, February 11, 2008

Some Quick Thoughts.

Thanks to Rolling Stone Magazine I am thinking of some numbers:

260: The Amount of times the frat boy lied about Iraq in his pre-war statements.
$1.43 million: The amount the FCC is fining ABC for showing a woman's backside on NYPD Blue.
$75,000: The amount of profit Exxon Oil made per minute this past year.
$145 billion: The amount of money this Democratic congress spent on the war since 2006.
1,120: The amount of American soldiers who died in Iraq since the Democratic congress took over in 2006.
7,359: Soldiers wounded in Iraq since 2006.
3 of 18: The amount of political bench marks that have been met in Iraq after the surge.

And a quick trip to the men's room today had me thinking of some "man rules":

When taking a wiz in the urinal please keep your head forward. Do not look to your left or to your right, and definitely do not look down.

When entering the bathroom to relieve yourself, if there are other urinals available, do not go to the urinal right next to someone who is already utilizing the...ahem, facilities. This is not a good thing, as it could lead to a Larry Craig type misunderstanding.

And finally, what happens at the bachelor party stays at the bachelor party. No telling your wives, girlfriends, or significant others about the stripper that was all over the groom.

I thought about that because I have one of those coming up as well.

I'm out.

40 comments:

Anonymous said...

How cool would it be if Obama could have us out of Iraq by 2012? If he really is the one, he can do it. I mean unless he deciced to make a base there by the airport. That's cool too.

Los Angelista said...

Just think about how much of that money could have been spent to improve schools and stimulate the economy of the Rust Belt. It's sickening.


And leave Miz Turner alone, Field! If one of the two needed to sit down, it was Beyonce.

brotherkomrade said...

My personal rule for bachelor parties is for me not o go at all. What happens at the party is best for me not to see.

Dirty Red said...

Field,

I feel you about the urinals in public restrooms. I hate it when I go to the public john at work, I am the only one in there and it is one of the few times that I can piss in peace and one of the few times I get to choose which of the four urinals I want, I usually take the one closest to the wall so I can see who comes in, and some asshole walks in and starts to use the one directly beside me! That has got to be a violation of man law. And then the MF wants to start a conversation! What the f--k is that all about?

field negro said...

"And leave Miz Turner alone, Field! If one of the two needed to sit down, it was Beyonce."

Yes Beyonce, might need to start considering a new direction with her career as well :)

brotherkomrade, trust me, someitmes I would prefer not to, but how can you say no to a friend?

anon 11:58PM, 2012 is too long for me.

dirt red, I am LMAO at your comments. Only because I can relate.

Christopher said...

Since I'm a total germaphobe, antibacterial soap in the car and in my jacket pocket in those small plastic bottles you can buy at Targae,) using public bathrooms is a chore for me and not a relief.

Numba one, well I can handle it, so long as there are papertowels (or the sleeve of my jacket) to open the door with on the way out.

Numba two, let's just say I avoid it in a public bathroom at all costs, unless I'm going to explode. I know, "TMI," but I'm just keeping it real.

NSangoma said...

~
She might need to start considering a new direction with her body; she is as thick as, if not thicker than, her elder.
`

damien said...

Can I add one field... if there is an open stall please use it and don't use the handicapped stall.

The Christian Progressive Liberal said...

Field, we sistas feel likewise about our own "bacholorette" parties as you do. What happens at a bacholorette party stays there.

I mean, you don't want to know if your wife is getting her bump and grind on, and sticking dollar bills down the g-string of a male stripper named "Hot Chocolate" or "Chocolate Desire", do you?

brotherkomrade said...

"NSangoma said...

~
She might need to start considering a new direction with her body; she is as thick as, if not thicker than, her elder."

Ahh yes, the picture of self-hating Uncle Ruckuses like yourself is never complete without the paranoia or hatred of the African female curvature.


@ FN, I don't agree with your caption on Tina. She may be older, but is still needs to be given her props. Most of today's R and B/Hip-Hop acts can barely get through a performance due to lack of breath control (peace to KRS-One) these days until they break down to that walking-back-and-forth weezing and shit.

I'd look at Tina if she was 120.

SagaciousHillbilly said...

Fuckin eh.

And I agree with the others. . . leave Miss Tina alone! She keeps rollin and rollin and rollin. As long as Tina's rollin, maybe I've got a chance to keep rollin.

Mark said...

BTW, on the recent Herbie Hancock album of Joni Mitchell songs, Tina Turner sings beautifully, a piece called "Edith and the Kingpin."

Christopher said...

Tina was, is, and always will be The Queen. I adore her and I don't care if she's a little thicker around the center or not. If she ever tours again and you haven't seen her live, run, don't walk to buy tickets. Tina is in a class unto herself.

Beyonce, by contrast is a young woman and has already started looking like one of those drag queens who perform in bars on Highland Blvd. in Hollywood.

RedLipstick said...

I always wondered why urinals don't at least have privacy screens on each side, but then I chalked it up to the fact that men are exceedingly competitive and thus find it necessary to compare their "load" to the next dude.

FN as you can see Tina is still beloved. I channel her spirit every time I do karaoke and Proud Mary is part of my standard routine. The woman is 68 years old and she is still fierce. I read a caption on another blog that said "The Thighs Have It"...and let me tell you I'd take Tina's thighs any day of the week.

Voted for the O man today in MD. There were alot folks out this morning in spite of the chill.

NSangoma said...

~
Healthy, my ass

Many blacks love big women, but having a rump the size of Buffie the Body's can put women at risk for disease.

By Debra Dickerson

http://www.salon.com/opinion/feature/2007/06/07/obesity/

Sista ladies, negroes of the ilk of brotherkomrade, do not care for you; they want to see you in an early grave.
`

NSangoma said...

~
http://www.salon.com/opinion/
feature/2007/06/07/obesity/
`

Ivan Ivanovich Renko said...

"Many blacks love big women, but having a rump the size of Buffie the Body's can put women at risk for disease."

Don't look now, brother, but life is fucking fatal.

"Sista ladies, negroes of the ilk of brotherkomrade, do not care for you; they want to see you in an early grave."

But not you, oh no, you sanctimonious fuck. You'd rather try to put some "you gotta be a skinny-ass rail to be attractive" bullshit on them than love and accept them for who and what they are.

Fuck that shit. You can live on fucking grass and tree-bark and run a goddamn marathon every fucking week and STILL step out in front of a bus.

What is your quality of life, ladies? If your weight is keeping you from getting around and doing what you want to do, then do something about it. If you feel strong and capable, fuck the nsangomas of the world and their rail-thin idea of feminine perfection.

grown said...

This post reminds me of those Budwiser commercials about "Man Laws"...LOL.

"Ahh yes, the picture of self-hating Uncle Ruckuses like yourself is never complete without the paranoia or hatred of the African female curvature."

Brotherkomrade, B started her own brand of self hatred when she began donning her blonde weave and having the other members of her group tan so she could be the lightest, more Eurpean one. There is nothing wrong with having curves but she needs to get on Kanye's Work Out Plan and tone them bad boys up.

classical one said...

i imagine that who ever is elected, they will keep a permanent base in Iraq. The Pentagon will force them if necessary.

NSangoma said...

`
cardiac failure, renal failure, diabetes, hypertension, pulmonary failure, gout (joint pain; knees, ankles), sleep apnea, CVA: cerebrovascular accident (stroke), ...

ladies, any of those weight related diseases sound familiar?

ladies, brotherkomrade and ivan ivanovich renko beneficiaries to your insurance policies?
`

The Christian Progressive Liberal said...

And leave Miz Turner alone, Field! If one of the two needed to sit down, it was Beyonce.

For REAL! Why you hating on Tina? She can still bust moves that Beyonce will never even dream of.

brotherkomrade said...

NSangoma,
Are you really quoting Debra Dickerson? She too is an Uncle Ruckus award holder like yourself.


NSangoma
Debra Sucks.

Dark & Stormy said...

I have a similar complaint with the ladies bathroom. If I'm in the last of 4 stalls in a row and all other 3 are empty, why would the next person who comes in use the stall directly next to me?

Woozie said...

On Facebook there is a group called the Coalition of Men Against Urinal Conversations. Across the world men have united to reject people breaking our righteous Man Laws.

But of all the Man Laws to break, who would tell their woman about a bachelor party stripper? What kind of douchebags do you hand around?

Kellybelle said...

Tina looks good! She used to babysit Don Cornelius and she still moving like that? Sheeee.

Re: Big Black womens. I'm a lil' lighter than Queen Latifah and I ran six miles this morning. No high blood pressure, no diabetes. So I say do what makes you feel GOOD.

Anonymous said...

field HOW DARE YOU talk about Tina Turner that way!!! She was moving better than beyonce - more coordination & was not out of breath - like Beyonce - when the set was over!! STOP IT!!! Wait till you get old. Mrs Field will repay the compliment!!!

MacDaddy said...

" what happens at the bachelor party stays at the bachelor party. No telling your wives, girlfriends, or significant others about the stripper that was all over the groom."
-------------
field, I know you want to go because you just can't "say no to a friend." But it may not be worth it. Remember: Just as Mrs. field was able to get a hold of that Obama kool aid, she could get a hold of one of those guns that Renko talks about. I hear there are plenty in Philly. Consider yourself warned!

TheDad said...

Man Laws... Pitty to those that don't obey. At work my method is to go #1 in the stall to totally avoid the urinal convo. B-Line to the stall wash the hands out of the door with a papertowl. No conversation, no eye contact. I only supply a head nod if necessary.

field negro said...

Damn! there is more Tina love out there that I thought. What's with all the Tina T backlash? But sorry folks I have to keep it 100% with you. It's time for my girl to hang it up. Come on, YOU SAW HER. Don't lie to yourselves because we all loved her at one time.

"I mean, you don't want to know if your wife is getting her bump and grind on, and sticking dollar bills down the g-string of a male stripper named "Hot Chocolate" or "Chocolate Desire", do you?"

christ. prog. no I don't. What happens at the "bacholorette" party should stay there as well :)

"Many blacks love big women, but having a rump the size of Buffie the Body's can put women at risk for disease."

and what kind of disease would that be? Can't get it down syndrome?

"Remember: Just as Mrs. field was able to get a hold of that Obama kool aid, she could get a hold of one of those guns that Renko talks about. I hear there are plenty in Philly. Consider yourself warned"

Now you have a brotha thinking to himself :(

And I am feeling damien on the handicapped stall thing. That is just f*****g obnoxious. It's for HANDICAPPED PEOPLE!

"...No conversation, no eye contact. I only supply a head nod if necessary."

Amen "thedad", these too are rules to live by.

NSangoma said...

~
So field, your preference for the heavy-duty-booty applies at home as well as abroad?
`

SagaciousHillbilly said...

Wow, you really got the troops riled up with that one Field.
Kinda makes blogging seem worthwhile when that happens.

Anonymous said...

FIELD, your side bar comment about Tina was unnecessary. Why wouldn't she still be at it if she's capable? And I think she is. Are you claiming that she should "give it Up" simply because she's 68? Plus, those legs of hers! Damn! She looks damn good and moves damn good, too. Let me see how YOU'RE moving when you're 68. You're afflicted with ageism.

Kellybelle said...

;')

Anonymous said...

Brother Field, it's amazing how one sentace can be used to sum total your thought about any issue presented. Living in the 60s we had the joy of seeing our icons at the top of their craft. I took your statement as a desire not to see our; "aging figthers entering the ring" icons at the end of their game. Young bloggers sometimes fail to reconize from whench you/other bloggers come from. I now can relate to Mans rule being in the military in basic in the "old days". Continue to write from your eyes. STILLaPanther.

field negro said...

"Let me see how YOU'RE moving when you're 68. You're afflicted with ageism."

Anon 7:39PM, as long as I can play a front or a back nine, and shoot double digits I will be fine;)

"So field, your preference for the heavy-duty-booty applies at home as well as abroad?"

Now you are really trying to get me in trouble. Give the dimensions of Mrs. Field's booty on this blog?

What are you smoking?

Woozie said...

Mmmm...Mrs. Field booty...

Woozie said...

Field, is it anything like this?

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