Thursday, February 21, 2008

Obama's secret weapon.


“I’ll do whatever he says to do... I’ll collect paper cups off the ground to make his pathway clear.”


This is what Halle Berry supposedly told my hometown paper, The Philadelphia Daily News about the "O" man.


Now I am not as big a Halle fan as a lot of other fellows, but I know all about the common perception of girlfriend. So I was thinking, maybe the "O" man and his Obamaholics could use this bit of news to gain some political advantage. I mean now that we know that Mr. Straight Talk actually has some bullets left in the old six shooter (yes I believe the New York Times on this one), wouldn't it be a good idea to use Halle to set him up? "I'll do whatever he says to do.." OK Halle, I need you to pretend Mr. Straight Talk is Billy Bob Thornton and allow us to get a few pics of you two going....well, "Monster's Ball" on each other. Think you could do that? The Obamaholics would be grateful to you for life. Think about it. You would be helping another child of a mixed marriage ascend to the highest office in the land, and gain some major popularity with millions of A-merry-cans for life. Just think, even when you make a stinker of a movie like "Cat Woman", you would still be guaranteed box office success because of your built in audience.


But seriously, this story with Mr. Straight Talk gives us a classic example of how fucked up A-merry-ca truly is. First, it's not about him cheating on his wife with this lobbyist. The secular progressives, unlike the wackos on the right could care less who or what Mr. Straight Talk is getting his freak on with. The problem here is not that he might have been using up his Viagra supply on Ms. Lobbyist. No, the problem is that her clients might have been getting special favors because she was so...ahem ahem, close to Mr. Straight Talk. (Your talk isn't the only thing that's straight Senator.....I love this stuff)


And now we have to listen to these imbeciles on the right shoot the messenger once again. Yeah that's the ticket, excuse the Senator giving into special interests and jump on the New York Times simply for telling us the story. Talk about ass backwards. And now we hear that this will actually help Mr. Straight Talk, because it seems that the only thing the right wingers hate more than one of their own betraying the public trust is the New York Times.


Well my loony right wing friends, enjoy fighting that vast left wing conspiracy. You and Mr. Straight Talk deserve each other.

41 comments:

brotherkomrade said...

""I'll do whatever he says to do.." OK Halle, I need you to pretend Mr. Straight Talk is Billy Bob Thornton..."

Ok, all jokes aside, this is not your best moment, Field. Bad form, and yes, sexist. But I'm not bailing just because on the one time you offended me as some other people have. Just put yourself in your women readers' shoes..you're putting Halle in the position o being pimped out to McCain for Obama.

Redstar said...

Agree with brotherkomrade here.

Your line about the right-wingers hating the NY Times though - priceless.

field negro said...

"Just put yourself in your women readers' shoes..you're putting Halle in the position o being pimped out to McCain for Obama.."

brotherkomrade, I can't I wear a size 11. Seriously though, I understand your point...but didn't Halle actually MAKE such a movie. How am I pimping her out? She would be working as a political operative not a prostitute. I have worked as a politcal operative, and you wouldn't believe some of the s**t that I was called on to do.

grown said...

LOL at Halle as "political operative". She can't pronounce political operative.

What I love the most about Straight Talk and the lobbyist is that at age 40, she is still a spring chicken compared to him. Priceless.

Where's Cindy McCain's big ass mouth now?

Oh and clearly the NYT is smarter than going around making unfounded claims about this man. They have some evidence somewhere and McCain better watch out before the fit hits the shan for real...

The Christian Progressive Liberal said...

Field, this ain't the first time Ms. Berry has made "goo-goo" eyes at the "O" man.

I have Obama supporter friends out in Los Angeles - when Ms. Berry came on that scene, Mrs. Obama sized up the deal and instructed women like Halle Berry to stay away from this campaign because of the potential for trying to link themselves to Obama romantically.

When Obama showed up here in DC as a Senate candidate back in 2004, he was propositioned up the yang. By the old sistas in the Congressional Black Caucus.

Now, remember, when you have prime rib at the house (Michelle), why in the hell are you going to go for rancid tuna dip (the sistas in the CBC over 50)?

Can we just say "ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwww"?

And no, Michelle Obama is not an insecure sista, but women like Halle Berry could be the Black version of Marilyn Monroe to Obama's JFK, and since Obama has little, if NO margin for error, Michelle is wisely watching out for her man, and to keep him out of "McCain with the COTS" situation.

They're spinning that in McCain's favor, but if that was Obama, he'd be conceeding to the Borg Queen as a result; that's how fast the media and the public would turn on him.

If Halle Berry really wants this brotha to become POTUS, she'd better stop imagining herself in the title role of First Lady, because that part has gone to Michelle.

I'm not speculating; I'm telling you what I heard from the politicos I know out in my home state who have told me what a fool Halle is making of herself over Obama.

The Christian Progressive Liberal said...

And as for her acting as a political operative for Obama, Halle would screw that up, too.

As a woman, I haven't forgiven her for that role she played in "Monster's Ball" because no self-respecting sista would have played that role, even if Oscar walked up to her house and knocked on the door. What Black woman is going to screw a racist white prison guard who's going to throw the switch and execute her husband?

I don't find your comment sexist at all; if you'd made that comment suggesting a sista like Angela Bassett or Sanaa Lathan, then I'd get pissed, because that would be seen for the sexist comment it is.

Some of you brothas are drunk on Halle kool-aid to see her for the opportunist she can be - there's a reason why David Justice left her and Eric Benet suddenly became a "sexaholic" (he hasn't been seen screwing women the way sexaholics would since he left her, and she sure kicked his daughter {whom she adopted}to the curb).

heartsandflowers said...

A bit gossipy much? I'd ignore this diatribe but I must correct the last comment. Halle did not adopt India - otherwise she'd be paying Eric child support. And as for women being interested in Barack - I'm certain that has been the case and would only intensify if he got elected. I want to know some details of FN's spy life antics.

field negro said...

Wow chirst prog. thanks for the 411! ("black version of Marilyn Monroe huh. Interesting)
It's alway good to be in the know.
Hey, I have nothing against Halle, I am just not as into her as most other fellows. (If it aint Lark I aint looking )

And honestly, the first part of my post was strictly for laughs. I know that some folks might find it borderline sexist. But I am still trying to work on my feminine side.

"I want to know some dtails of FN's spy life antics."

If I told you I would have to.....:)

Christopher said...

The only problem is, Halle Barry is getting ready to drop her baby and the duties of motherhood will no doubt take priority over campaigning for Barack Obama.

(fŭng'kē) [blak] [chik] said...

"..When Obama showed up here in DC as a Senate candidate back in 2004, he was propositioned up the yang. By the old sistas in the Congressional Black Caucus."


WOW, aint that the truth! I thought I was the only person who noticed that. Those women were swarming over him like flies on hot shit in the summer! Yeah, and they were all old enough to be his mother.

I think there were only about 4 of use who were under the age of 35 working there at the time. We thought it was hilarious that he was giving all the AARP's panty pudding! But he handled it pretty well, from my view point.

gwpriester (i before e) said...

Field - That full page ad that pops up uninvited causes Firefox to shut down.

I have nothing against your making enough money from this site to quit the 9-5 plantation :-) but try to find an ad source that is less intrusive.

field negro said...

Damn Chris, I forgot Halle is with child :( Mmmm, I don't even think straight talk is that freaky.

funkee black chick,please keep those insights from D.C. comming :)
I know a thing or two about those "Cougars" in the CBC from...let's just say I have seen it in action from close up :)

gwpriester, I don't get a dime from these google folks. And honestly, you are not the first person to complain about that damn ad source, and the problems with "Fire Fox".

I swear I am about to drop their asses :(

Anonymous said...

Ahh, if you aren't driven and ambitious in the profession of acting, you end up getting a "real" job.
During a basic Psych course we discussed the temperment necessary to succeed in certain endeavors. In both politics and acting it seems that OCD and narcissism are required. The Meyers-Briggs also trended certain behaviors for achievement.
Not everyone is Bush and can rest on Daddy's laurels. Some have to vanquish their competition. In many areas, this is being first of thousands.

Mold

Anonymous said...

I don't know anything about Halle Berry except that she's a mediocre actress.

About the NYT story on McCain -

If you read the story and tend to prefer solid journalism, you'll notice that it's a fluff piece. 80% of the story refers to the old Keating 5 scandal. The rest is 2nd hand hearsay based on ex-staffers who claim that they were "worried" about the closeness of the two. In Journalistic terms, it's Not News and the NYT should have known better to print until they had a smoking gun.

Of course the NYT could easily run a story about McCain's hypocrisy in generally rubbing elbows with the special interests that he professes to hate, but that would be substantive.

For the story behind the story, read the piece at the New Republic. Fact is, the NYT blew their wad too early because TNR was about to scoop them.

Political hypocrisy + shoddy journalism = big freaking deal. Next please.

brotherkomrade said...

Actually, I wanna strike the "shoes" part in my first comment and say that the concept of the post was offensive to me as a black man - it was even wrong of me to put it on sistas to be the only ones who would be offended by the post.

Now on the lighter cultural observations:

The Halle Career has never left me impressed and being an old comics head, I'm still mad at Hollywood for fingering her to play Storm. It wasn't her fault, you know how our people in the entertainment business can get; "Never turn down a buck"...anyway she took a role that she did zero research for and was all wrong for it.
As far as "Monsters", you know, I gotta say again, not her fault; she's an actress of color who just wanted to get paid. You guys have no idea that the Hattie McDaniels/Mr. Bo Jangles' legacies have a psychological effect on "our" entertainers. To be loved by America for 10 minutes and die penniless is a black thespians' nightmare.

But let's talk about the psychological effects that the sex scene seemed to have on some of us who in turn hold nothing but hate for litte Halle. We need to let that shit go and and hate on the writer who probably is a racist and wanted to make a jab at us black folk; particularly us black minz.
Perhaps he was in prison once and a big black mandino did to him what Billy Bob did to Halle in the movie.

Or hey..maybe he WANTS to get plowed like that...maybe he wrote that whole damn film so he can get Leroi, Skillet, or J-God mad at him enough to top him and run a Big Black Nightrain on him.
It's all in the code, peoples, it's all in the code...

Christopher Chambers said...

Look--I happen to think it's OK to pimp Halle Berry out to any white dude, as yes, she's already done it and been paid handsomely. No one cares when she has a sex scene with a brother, like with Michael Ely (as "Tea Cake") in that sad Oprah production of their eyes were watching God (then again, outside of Robert Redford in The Great Gatsby, has there ever been a good movie adaptation of a classic 20th century American novel?). She showed her ass and tits on film to my Princeton classmate david Duchovny, to Bruce Willis, to Benicio del Torro's drugged-out crazy ass, to Billy Bob's fake hair/shredded wheat chest/spindly hanging nutsack...why not John McCain? Yeah, you know he loves the darker berries; probably what kept him going in the Vietnamese POW camp was masturbating to Barbara McNair, Shirley Bassey & Dianne Carroll!

Y'all need to lighten up. ;-)

Other Hollywood talk--Clooney's defecting to Obama; Daniel Day Lewis said if he was an American he'd be for Obama (no brainer there--that "I drink your milkshake" shit from There Will Be Blood has been oversused by everyone from Chris Matthews to Sean hannity these past two weeks...)

Kellybelle said...

Christian Prog. Liberal and Funky Black Chick:
ROTFLMAO!!!

RedLipstick said...

The NYT's story should have focused on the letters written by McCain on behalf of the lobbyist (though he says they were not) because that was the real story. The details about the affair were fluff.

I'm tired of most Hollywood stars...[yawn].

Hill didn't come as hard as I thought in Austin last night. The last moment was almost like the crying moment in NH...I'm interested to see what happens with that.

Christopher said...

But you know what I think is being missed here in dissecting and analyzing Halle Barry?

She's a star. Not just any regular star but, a superstar.

Halle is an A-lister: she's a diva, people talk about her, TMZ follows her around, her face on a magazine results in huge sales, she has a star on the Hollywood Walk, she commands $15 million per film, straight men want to nail her, the gays love her, and she's a black woman.

How many other black actresses command all of this? Sure, maybe there are better actresses but not bigger stars.

I think she's fabulous.

NSangoma said...

~
... and she's a black woman.
christopher 12:04 PM

No she is not, she is mulatto.

I get sick and tired of this crap: the most beautiful black women are half-white, or half-Jewish; the most handsome black men are half-white.

Where is the most beautiful white woman that is only half white?
`

Admiral Komack said...

I posted this on the Group News Blog on 2.20.08 - 8:41 pm:

Talk about great timing!

Right after the writer's strike:

TOP GUN II

John "Maverick" McCain and Vicki "Iceman" Iseman...together again!

This time they will thrill us with aerial acrobatics...inside a corporate jet!

"You can be my wingman!"

"You can be mine!"

RATED: WTF!

gordon gartrelle said...

Glad you set christopher straight, nsangoma. We wouldn't want him to think that something as illogical as the one drop rule existed in this country.

Blackness is not the percentage of African blood one has. It's cultural, it's contextual, it's complicated. Binary thinking is for people like Bush.

And correction, field. Right wingers hate several things more than they hate the NY Times: Hillary, Al & Jesse, secularists, anyone who criticizes Reagan, liberal academia, Muslims, feminists, gay rights, anyone who criticizes America past or present...just to name a few.

Christopher Chambers said...

Field--my dad told me this: Who's the only brother besides OJ who's never been sent to jail for consistently whippin' a white woman's ass?


Barack Obama

rikyrah said...

Mr. Chambers...


BWA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA

Oh.no.you.didn't.


HILARIOUS.


I will thank those who give us the 4-1-1 about happenings in Washington. I never tire of those stories because I think the 'behind the scenes' stuff is way more interesting than what we actually get to see.

Keep those stories coming.

Dirty Red said...

Field,

As you probably know by now, the "o" man was here in Dallas the other day. 18,000+ people came out to see him.
Hill-Billy was here this morning, 1000 people came to see her.

Can u say "don't quit your day-job"?

Dirty Red said...

Field,

As you probably know by now, the "o" man was here in Dallas the other day. 18,000+ people came out to see him.
Hill-Billy was here this morning, 1000 people came to see her.

Can u say "don't quit your day-job"?

Anonymous said...

Half-black? Oh please, this is 'Merica, land of the octaroon and the New Orleans "fancy girls". There are pretty much no "pure" blacks to be found here unless they're visiting. Just be glad that a person of color can find decent work and be doing more than Mammy, Stepin', Mandingo, or Rochester.

Mold

NSangoma said...

~
Please note, this is a beautiful Black Woman:

Beautiful Negroe Woman

http://www.ourweekly.com/clients/ourweekly/2-14-2008-1-50-58-AM-4673821.jpg
`

field negro said...

"Political hypocrisy + shoddy journalism = big freaking deal. Next please."

anon. 9:37AM, I am not so sure that the NYT's journalism was so sloppy. Especially given the fact that there is breaking news about inconsistencies in "Mr. Straight Talks's story. Seems he said one thing in a sworn deposition back in 2002, and now his staff is saying another.

I learned a long time ago, not to let my feelings get in the way of the facts.

Chris that shit was too funny :)

Tell your dad thanks. He made my day.

brotherkomrade said...

I want NSangoma to guest-blog on my site.

Lola Gets said...

Im probably the only one that thinks this, but doesnt the Lobbyist look just like Mr. Straight Talks wife?? Oh yeah, it defenitely seems like dude has a type!

@Chambers, man that joke was just wrong, lol.

L

nyc/caribbean ragazza said...

Chris...that joke was priceless. ha

re: Monster's Ball and Halle's acting chops. Life is too short to get into all that. I do know the producers wanted Angela for the role.

Halle was totally miscast as Storm. It's a comic book movie, people were going to see it. Why couldn't they cast Anjanue Ellis or Nona Gaye?

There are so many talented black actresses who cannot find complex interesting roles. It's bad for actresses in general but for the sistas? Please. Plus they are losing roles to Beyonce and other singers. For us you have to be a rap star or singer first so you can help put asses in the seats. In what world is Beyonce the right choice to play Etta James?

Don said...

I watched McCain get on TV yesterday and straight lie into the cameras. Then, if that wasn't enough, he brings his silly asz wife into the fray, and she stands there and repeats a speech that she didn't even beleieve.

Yeah, so much for all that straight talk nonsense he spits.

I even saw where his own advisor stepped in because he was worried about McCain's adulterous affair.

Cowboy the Cat said...

Is she going to lay palm leaves at his feet when he walks into town, too?

Sheesh.

People need to chill. He's still a politician.

Shazza Nakim said...

Bi-Racials Around The World Unite !!

The Angry Independent said...

You're so sick and twisted Field,

Although, it just might work. lol
But she would give McCain a heart attack. He's already half dead.

And that other story about the U.S.S.S. bothers me too.

I want to believe that they are giving him the same coverage as anyone else of his stature. But the story is still troubling.

Based on threat assessments & such, and the social/political environment, they have to know that he may require a different level of protection than what they are used to providing. The culture within that agency will have to change...if they are that slow to adapt.

I wonder if he would be better off having his own security chief to call the shots. Perhaps an outsider.

Clinton's old S.S. chief might be a good candidate. Or perhaps someone from CPD that he knows and trusts.

fairlane said...

"Where is the most beautiful white woman that is only half white?"

Wouldn't that be someone like Halle Berry?

I'm confused.

Isn't Halle Berry an example of what a beautiful "Half-white" woman looks like?

As long as they're not Half-Wingnut, I don't see a problem.

As for helping out Obama, you'd be counting on not only her acting skills, which pretty much suck, but her apparent grating personality.

I see such a plan backfiring big time.

Think about it, both of Halle's husbands stepped out on her. We're not talking about Hillary Clinton now, we're talking about Halle Berry.

You'd think the way she looks would be enough to keep a man honest for at least a couple of years until he gets over the, "Damn, I'm f**king Halle Berry" phase.

I know that may sound "sexist," but come on gentlemen, be honest.

Tell me if you woke up in the morning, and Halle Berry was lying next to you, you wouldn't jump out of the bed and start pirouetting around the room.

Tell me you wouldn't be calling people from high school, "Hey man, what's up, remember me? Yeah, yeah, the guy on the debate team. Hey, didn't you end up marrying the Homecoming Queen? Really, she's up to 250 lbs? That's a shame. Did you hear who I married? No? Well, have you ever seen that movie..."

Eb the Celeb said...

I am so mad at you for this!

But your perception of her comment and advice was rather amusing!

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