I have a confession to make: I am somewhat of a clothes pony---not a horse, I don't have that type of loot---During the week I like to rock some nice suits, and every now and then I will throw on my Alexander McQueen or my Hugo Boss suit, just because. So I am not going to kill Mr. Morton because I read about his $520 loafers while visiting one of my favorite blogs, "Crooks & Liars". Hey, the man's wife is filthy rich, and if he can afford to rock $520 Ferragamo loafers, god bless him.
But here is the thing: You can't go around ripping the other guy for being elitist and out of touch when you rock $520 loafers. You just can't. I wonder how many pairs of shoes the "O" man has the costs $520? I am guessing none. I am quite sure that Mr. Morton, on the hand, has quite a few of those bad boys. Hey when you have more homes than the Philadelphia Housing Authority, and you can afford to fly in your own private jet, and pay for your fuel with a Black Centurion Amex Card, you are doing alright. That everyman speech that Mr. Morton likes to give just isn't going to cut it no matter how authentic he wants you to think he is. But this is one of the true ironies of this campaign season. The man who really pulled himself up from his humble beginnings is being painted and elitist by the man who can afford to wear $520 loafers. The same man who voted against raising the minimum wage. Only in A-merry-ca.
Which leads me to something else I wanted talk about: (Thanks Jody and Crooks & Liars) Wal-Mart. Every time I see that big blue sign with the star in the middle I am reminded of a joke I heard somewhere. "If you don't think that god has a sense of humor go to your nearest Wal-Mart store." I bet there are no $520 loafers being sold there. Now it seems that the people who run America's favorite discount store are asking their employees to vote republican. Why? Because those nasty democrats will want unions that's why. (Like that's supposed to be a bad thing) Yeah, let me see now; I work at Wal-Mart busting my ass for $7 an hour, and I am going to vote against the democrats because they might allow unions to come into my work place and possibly get me $10 an hour. Nice.
Anyway, in the spirit of true disclosure, I too have been in the house that Sam built a time or two. And Mrs. Field, a self confessed country girl. ---That means there are Wal-Mart's within a stone's throw of her hometown---loves to bring the occasional merchandise from Sam's place into the field household. But no more, I will resist the urge to buy their cheap goods with everything I have. They have already destroyed Main street A-merry-ca by driving all the Mom and Pop stores out of business, and now they want to tell their workers how to vote? I don't think so.
Sam Walton and everything he stands for can kiss my ass. And so can Mr. Morton's phony ass with his $520 loafers.