I love both of my home town newspapers, I really do. But on the day after the coronation of his O ness, they publish the following account by Philadelphia business woman, Yvonne Allison:
"MY BUSINESS partner and I went to dinner recently at one of Center City's upscale restaurants. It's a favorite, and we arrived early before the holiday crowd.
As our entrée was served, the restaurant began to fill up and a couple was seated at the table behind us. We were close enough that it was easy to hear their conversation without feeling guilty of eavesdropping.
The woman was greeted by our waitress as a regular customer, and her companion was introduced to the server as a longtime friend dining at the restaurant for the first time. She said that two more friends would be joining them. Our diligent waitress promised to direct them to her when they arrived.
They were seated directly behind me. As we finished our main course, I heard the woman praise the menu as she told her friend that he would love the food no matter what he ordered.
Trying not to listen, I heard only snippets of what was said next until a word was used that managed to turn my stomach upside down. She asked him what his favorite food was. He replied, "I can tell you what I don't like. I don't like n----- food."
His use of the "n-word" continued and led into a discussion about President-elect Obama.
Numerous disparaging and ugly remarks were made, including how sad it was that someone hadn't already "knocked him off." I was stunned as I felt the color drain from my African-American face.
I felt emotions I hadn't felt since my childhood. I was horrified and filled with rage. It was difficult for me to stay seated and not turn around and face them with my anger and embarrassment. I looked across the table at my Jewish business partner as I shook my head. She knew by my reaction that something terrible had happened, but she didn't know what because she couldn't hear their conversation.
What should I do? These people were having a private conversation. They never looked my way - nor were their racist comments directed at me.
I wanted to turn around and confront them. But I didn't.
I was suddenly frozen in time as painful memories from the past came flooding back. The dull ache in the pit of my stomach was one I hadn't felt since growing up in a small western Pennsylvania town in the '50s.
Blacks weren't permitted to eat in upscale restaurants nor could they swim in community pools.
I flashed back to the time when my two best friends, who were white, told me they couldn't walk to school with me because I was "colored." Those emotional feelings of racism and exclusion churned inside when I heard him say the word that was never spoken in our home - the word my parents raised me to rise above and not become a victim of as they taught me the familiar chant, "Sticks and stones may break my bones, but names will never hurt me."
I turned slightly in my seat to watch as her other two friends came to the table. I was shocked to see that one of them was African-American. It was all I could do not to pull him aside and tell him what I'd heard. As we passed by their table to leave, I tried to make eye contact. But I was invisible.
Would being noticed by them have satisfied me? Probably not. Would my white Marine Corps husband's being there to defend me have made me feel better? Yes, but only for the moment.
What did I do? I took the high road. The experience made me realize how important it was to remember how far we've come, and the opportunity we all have to achieve long-term satisfaction. So rather than dwell on the negative feelings that were generated from the past during my dining experience, I'm uplifted as I look toward the future.
I knew then that on Jan. 20, 2009, I would be privileged to witness what my ancestors had struggled for and dreamed of but never got to see: the first African-American sworn in as the 44th president of the United States of America, Barack Obama.
Thank you, Mr. President, for the hope you've given me. I invite you and the first lady to join me for dinner at one of Philadelphia's finest restaurants! "
Ahh come on field, just one day after possibly the greatest day for race relations in our country and you start with the racism chase again.
Hey, don't shoot the messenger, I am not the Editor of the Philadelphia Daily News. Besides, we have a black Prez. now, can't he just issue and executive order and declare racism over? I am just saying.
BTW, Ms. Allison, your actions (or lack of it) were almost as bad as the person you over heard talking. I understand that you could not have attempted to bring physical harm to the individual because you are a lady. But you had an obligation to tell the person of color who joined David Duke and company what kind of company they were in. If they told you to go and fuck yourself at least you could have done it with a clear conscience.
129 comments:
Oh, wow! There is absolutely no way on this green earth that I could have/would have sat there and not say a word to the African American "friend" who joined the already-seated diners. No way. Now, I probably would not have said anything to the person who made the comment, but surely as God is my witness, I would have very gently said to the newcomer, "Excuse me. Can I see you for a moment?" And then I would have proceeded to spill the goods -- graciously so, but spill, I would. By remaining silent, Ms. Allison was a partner in the verbal crime committed in the name peace and harmony.IMHO, I would, again, have had to jump on that one. For sure & for certain. I would not have been able to sleep that night had I remained quiet. Now, what the newcomer-diner did after I told what I heard was strictly their call to make. I think Ms Allison dropped the ball on that one, when certainly she should have taken it to the across the line. The bottom line.
We must get beyond small minds like this. Racism is no more going to go away than is ignorance. The two go hand in hand.
President Obama will be measured by the results of his administration not by his color. If small minded people, like the above quoted, cannot get beyond race, that is their problem.
A good friend of mine said at an Obama volunteer's party last night, for the last 8 years I have woken up angry. This morning I awoke happy.
I am not shocked that you would such a conversation. Although, I think would have told the other two people who came to the table that the guy does not like to eat nigger food, and it must mean that he does not to eat with you. Racism is cancer that spreaded through the society for a long time, and it will not go into a permanent remission until it receives several cycles of chemotherapy. However, it is time for reality check that country needs a serious discussion about the topic, we cannot stand by and say nothing or it will continue. Say nothing and racism will continue to spread.
Yeah, some sarcasm would have been in order, like say to the arriving black guest, "Your friend here advises against ordering red beans & rice, & he'll tell you why." At least stir things up at their table.
Brother Field... Somehow we keep forgetting that a larger percentage of whites are not sharing this historic moment with us. I say to the whites that are going forward with race relations, "thank you very much, I am happy to share this moment with you" to only the ones that still want to be racist I will pray for you- closing only 'one eye'. Ever viligent. Somebody will break down the percentage to validate my claim.
If she really wanted to give this guy a wake-up call, she should have dialed 911 and reported there was a man at this restaurant discussing the killing of our president. THAT would have made him understand the depth of his stupidity real fast!
The fact that the person sat there, stewed in her "rage" and said NOTHING, spoke VOLUMES about how much of a friggin coward she was,.
I don't give a rat's ass if she overheard a private conversation; if the participants didn't want her to hear what was being said, they would have lowered their voices so she couldn't hear that shyt.
THEY MEANT FOR HER TO HEAR IT. PERIOD.
AND THOSE SALTINES ARE WHO WE ALWAYS THINK THEY ARE.
If that were me, I think I would have used a white napkin, cut holes in it that represented eyes, made it look like a Klan Hood and dropped it on their table while saying, "Enjoy your dinner; I made your favorite centerpiece, SALTINE!"
Then I would have complained to the manager and ask that their asses be thrown out of the restaurant because I wouldn't be responsible for what my cousins, Tank and Big Mike might do if they were found to still be on the premises. Bearing that, I would call Al Sharpton and tell him to get his permed ass to Philly, complete with camera crew and embarass the whole damn establishment for that shyt, and have the camera follow the saltines everywhere they went until they got the hell out.
I'm tired of folks complaining when they hear racist shyt, yet allow it to go without responding to it. They're just as guilty and I'm fresh out of sympathy for their ass.
Nah, Bob, I think I would have done one better than that. I would have stopped by their table on my way out and looked the white guy straight in the eye with a big smile and said, "Whelp, I see you kept your word and didn't order any of that 'nigger' food you were talking about," loud enough for the whole restaurant to hear me and walked out like I never said a word.
County to pay woman $35,000 in discrimination case
By Matthias Gafni
Contra Costa Times
The Contra Costa County Assessor refused to promote a junior appraiser in retaliation over a sexual and racial harassment claim that the supervisor had handed the employee a motel key before an interview about a possible job promotion, a jury found Tuesday.
Following a 10-day trial in a federal court in San Francisco, a jury of eight found Gus Kramer and the county liable in one of a dozen claims filed by Bernice Peoples, a longtime appraiser who held the same entry-level position in Kramer's office for more than two decades.
Peoples, who is African-American, had claimed separate racial and gender discrimination by Kramer and his assistant assessor, Lori Koch, but those claims were all dismissed by the jury.
The county has agreed to pay Peoples $35,000 for compensatory damages. Punitive damages will be decided Wednesday in Judge Marilyn Patel's U.S. District courtroom, said Pamela Price, Peoples' attorney. "I'm very pleased with what the jury has done. I'm so pleased they saw through the county's efforts to mask what has been going on," Price said. "She worked for 23 years at an entry-level job classification. It's been completely unfair and the jury saw it fit to compensate her and hold Mr. Kramer accountable for his behavior. ... You can't use the promotional process for revenge."
In asking for damages, Peoples says she was humiliated, suffered loss of reputation and standing in the community, loss of self-esteem, depression and anxiety.
Kramer's attorney did not immediately return phone calls for comment.
"It's not over till it's over — and it's not over yet," Kramer said by telephone after the verdict. "I can't say anything more at this point."
In August 2000, Peoples lodged a complaint with the county, accusing Kramer of racial discrimination and sexual harassment.
The concept of his election ending racism never entered my mind. Also, I know in my heart that everything printed on paper and posted on the internet is true but that's a heck of a convenient story. So many newspapers are in trouble these days and I just can't figure out why, everyone trust them, right? It really disturbs me.
szpork
Speak the truth aloud in the restaurant, admonishing the speaker and warning the new guest, and the racism is diminished down to mere stupidity.
Politeness is the enemy that abets social division.
She should have been ashamed of herself. The part about wanting the protection of her white husband because she couldn't deal with racism was even more disgusting. She has spent an entire life as a WOC and therefore she should have been able to look into the face of a bigot and call him out by name. Never in presence will a white person use the word nigger and get away it. These people need to know that such language is unacceptable and they can save it for the next Klan meeting. That is a verbal assault on my being and if I can hear then I have been harmed and affected by it.
I have an aversion to upscale restaurants. I have been in the States only a few years but everytime I am in an enviroment that is predominantly white, I can't help but think of the segregation era. So many struggles had to occur for me to be in such a place and the chances of being treated poorly or having such an incident are still very high especially from the wait stuff (And I do tip well).
For that reason I just avoid them. More money in my pocket. Why put your money in a place that has a high probability of treating you indecently?
Just except what "WHAT YOU ARE" eat your dinner and mind your own buisness like everyone else does.What's the big deal with the so called "N" word anyway's. I mean come on people do you see "WHITE FOLK" getting to upset to eat because some low life black person call's them a " HONKY,KRAKKER,GHOST,MILK MAN,KLOROX..........etc. NO. Becase their not cry babies.
This was a real story, then? Hmmm.
Post racial means all the damn white celebrities who invaded DC and demanded special goodies and treatment as a black folks rejoiced. Black folks froze out on the mall then endured 7 hour bus rides home. The celebs rode around as if Cabinet members.
Then there's Joaquin Phoenix...(see blog)
She should have gathered up a couple other black women, surrounded the table, tapped the guy on the shoulder and said "yeah, um, you can't say that."
And Chris, I saw an awful lot of white people out there on that mall too. They didn't have any limos. And don't you think for a second Beyonce rode a Greyhound back to L.A.
Karl said pretend you're in a wheelchair that way you don't have to stand up for that, well, you know....
Hawaain Karl ?
No, worse....
What Karl ?
The guy's half white for chrissake...
Hold me Karl, Dick Dick Dick...
Yes I was a white knight :
http://justice4claire.blogspot.com/2008/10/mccampaigns-message-reaches-tim-hortons.html
probably easier for me than he lady in the upscale eatery since i was defending my candidate not my race but i am pretty sure i would have wrecked their dinner for them if i was there too
showing some heart isn't a color issue it's a humanity thing.
I would have told him to go eff himself and he would have paid for my meal because I would've walked right on out. Period.
THEY wanted her to hear it, that's why they said it!! and what if she had told the AFRICAN AMERICAN MAN? the reality is some of our own people, will sit and agree with everything, those people were talking about, HELLO, PEOPLE!!! we have MICHAEL STEELE, RUAN WILLIAM'S and many other AFRICAN AMERICAN'S, that will come on FOX NEW'S and assist in the TELEVISED LYNCHING of the new PRESIDENT of the UNITED STATE'S, and they could care less if he was the first AFRICAN AMERICAN PRESIDENT, so this is not a surprise to me.
I watch MICHAEL STEELE on FOX NEW'S, and when he talk's about BARACK, he speak's with CONTEMPT, now that's scary, and he entend's to make BARACK'S life a living HELL, he is buddy's with SEAN HANNITY, and so is WHOOPI GOLDBERG, SEAN HANNITY made a statement and said "he and whoopi are friend's" and remember the CAMPAIGN, our own people, were coming out of the wood work's PERSECUTING BARACK!!! and please go to YOUTUBE and listen to what PASTOR DAVID MANNING'S has to say about THE OBAMA'S.
Oh Field please, she has got to be making this up. We have overcome, haven't you read the signs? I hope you can run naked as fast as you chase racism.
"BTW, Ms. Allison, your actions (or lack of it) were almost as bad as the person you over heard talking."
You know Field, I was cheering that statement, and I do agree. However, I then realized who am I to judge. Due to the fact that I've been having anger management challenges lately... I would have confronted them civilly, they would then say something snide, condescending, or worst. I would then lose it and act like the celebrated jackass in the place. I would even take down some innocent cousin bystanders with the stereotypical embarrassment. I don't know which would have been worst to tell you the truth.
Then again if I didn't say anything at all, it would haunt me for a long time.
I like Jody's idea the best. A night @ 7th and Market explaining yourself would have been fun.
Anyway these people need to be crushed. Most of the country is on board. Spend no time thinking about them, because they don't matter.
I suppose this might come across as a defensive reaction, but that story doesn't ring true to me.
First off, it's shocking enough that someone would speak that way to begin with, but to speak that way in an upscale restaurant in downtown Philadelphia?
Secondly, "nigger food?" I'm a lifelong restaurant hound, and I "nigger food" is nowhere in my vocabulary, even in the most politically incorrect recesses.
Okay, so, if you think about it, I guess what this alleged KKKer referred to was soul food. What, fried chicken, pig's feet, okra. and collard greens, maybe? Topped off with a big slice of watermelon, I suppose?
Now, given where they were, in this upscale Philly dining palace, why would even the nastiest racist feel compelled to reject "nigger food," which wouldn't have been on that menu in the first place?
Then there's the continued conversation about Obama and the wish that he be knocked off. Wow, we've got it all: Nigger food and a dead president elect, loud enough for the black women at the next table to hear.
No, sorry. I don't for a minute deny that there are hard-core racists in America, but they don't sit in upscale restaurants in downtown Philadelphia rattling on at length about "nigger food" and knocking off Obama. They whisper a brief comment under their breath.
And no, I haven't done so myself. I am a huge supporter of Obama. When I've talked about his security, my comment is that I sure hope he trusts the Secret Service. I simply don't believe this incident happened. Maybe I'm wrong about that, but I doubt it.
Anonymous 11:04:
"" eat your dinner and mind your own buisness like everyone else does. What's the big deal with the so called "N" word anyway's..."
What do you mean by this,"Just except what "WHAT YOU ARE"?
Are you calling us the "N" word on the sly? Let me explain something to you. First of all, when I came into this world and my mother and father named me, "nigger" was no where on my birth certificate. They gave me a name and a nickname and that wasn't one of them.
Second, the big deal about it is that I was given a name by my parents when I came into this world, and that is what I PREFER being called by. Third, I don't use those type of terms when referring to other races, because I am not gone stand for them using that type of term when referring to me. I believe in treating people with the same dignity and respect that I demand.
Just like my parents gave me a name, theirs gave them one and that is what I would refer to them as or not say anything to them at all.
Add Pistolvania to the list of states that need to be hit with a Zombie plague and quarantined 28 days Later style.
BTW, I dunno if the story is true or not, if it isn't true, it's in poor taste, petty,vicious, and messy.
What I can, definitely, say though is that I am sick of racism. However, folks is entitled to think or feel how they want,which is fine with me, long as they don't mess with me and mines.
Trying to be post-racial? If one has to try to be post-racial, then that's where the problem lie.
You are either post-racial or not. There's no trying.
Although I voted for President Obama, I did it for the sobering reason that he was the best candidate for the job.
I don't understand all the crying and emotion surrounding the festivities. So what, that a black man has been sworn into office? Racial attitudes are the same today as they were November 3, 2008. I deal with the same haters at work and in public.
The comments the black woman heard in the restaurant would not have offended me in the least, because I never sleep or get intoxicated on Obamahol when it comes to race.
When you never sleep, how can one be rudely awaken by a "Nigger wake call"?
I can't help but think that the woman's interracial marriage caused her to fall into a slumber; hence, she's saddened by her "Nigger wake call."
What's wrong with eating "NIGGER FOOD". You should be proud and greatful to have such food. It amaze's me how "BLACK FOLK" want to be called "AFRIKAN AMERIKKANS" but wouldn't/won't go back to africa or even send their own kind money or food to try and better their own people and ancester's. Instead you want to stay in america and cry and wine about EVERYTHING. Why not be mature and addmit that if not for the white man your bellie's would be swelled up from starvation and dissease back in your home country africa running from lions and monkey's and every other creepy thing you don't have to worry about here in america because the white man don't and won't live like that.The white man give's you ghetto houseing so you can stay warm"THEY DON'T HAVE TO DO THAT" the white man give's you food stamp's so you can eat and feed your children "THEY DON'T HAVE TO DO THAT" So stop crying and whining 'cause some white man say's somthing 'bout "NIGGER FOOD" cuase it could be worse. Your people in africa right now starving would love to have some "NIGGER FOOD" INSTEAD OF EATING DIRT. SO BE PROUD OF WHAT YOU ARE AND WHERE YOU ARE 'CAUSE IT COULD BE WORSE.
Grinder:
Don't worry, Obama will be fine. God got his back. No weapon formed against him will prosper. The Lord is going to make his enemies his footstool.
I would have told the brother plain and simple, all she had to way" I think you should know he doesn't like nigger food" and would have walked away. The fact that she chose to say nothing says a lot about her, I guess she has been living in lala land with her "white saviour" husband... she is a house negro
why does the most ignorant and racist responses come from someone names anonymous?? Hey anonymous I lived in southern nj for eight years and the ONLY people I saw in the line for their CHECK was WHITE !!!!
Szpork:
Did you make the pie yet?
Momo:
Everytime I see your name, it reminds me of one of my grandmothers. Her nickname was momo.
browngrl77:
LOL! .
Anonymous is illiterate.
I'm betting the story is real, given that her website exists, and her name and website appear in some online articles. Certain details could easily be debunked if not true. And it seems a professional would not put their name and reputation on the line, meanwhile opening themselves up to criticism for taking no action.
I think the ideal response would be as Bob or Granny suggested-- something short, sweet and clever. But I don't blame her for not going up to them. Everyone is different. There are some people I'd want with me in a foxhole who I wouldn't want to have a conversation with in any other setting, and vice versa.
Hennasplace's cancer comparison is apt. Yesterday was a major symbol that gave racists heartburn, so it's not surprising that you would see a wave of racism/color ideation manifest itself.
Clearly, Obama's election will not end racism. But you know what? When knuckle-draggers like him made those statements in the past, there was still a semblance of power behind it because there was a glass ceiling for blacks. That ceiling is gone. Now, these racists have nothing to hold onto except their own bitterness. So while you can't change everyone's mind, you can make those people irrelevant. And they have never appeared as small as they do now.
The story has to be real. As for whether it's a private conversation or not...it isn't private if it's in public. Just like when anyone can take your picture when you're out and about.
I like Granny's idea best. That was hilarious!
I would waited for the rest of their party to arrive, then turned to them and said clearly, I realize you are having a private conversation, but if you are going used words like nigger and refer to the killing of the president, I suggest you lower your ignorant voices.
Field: you are a mad hater re: the President. Own it. I love you something fierce; however, I swear, you are a whiner when it comes to the President. IF you're a grown-azzed man? You know one person doesn't change the world on his or her own. Nor do you pay significant or serious attention to those who do believe in that level of the power of one.
As for the story, how do you know that the Black joining the racist(s)didn't agree? I've come to understand that there are some Black folks who'll high-five such white hatred and DIG being accepted as "different." This is especially true of Black men, many of whom would toss overboard entire states of Black women and relatives to get the approval of one white male.
What would I have done? I would've realized that all the racist had was hateful language and reflected upon the history of white racism in this country and remembered -- again -- why I'm glad to have been born in this era vs. the era of slavery or Jim Crow. I would've then called my waiter over, told the waiter to get the manager or someone of use, and informed that person of my discomfort in their restaurant. I would've done so in the same tone and with the same facial expression I'd use if I'd found a bug in my food. I would make the establishment deal with the racist. I wouldn't sully my hands, given the "distance" of the commentary and lack of any threat to my person or freedom.
Stop being so unnecessarily bitter, Field. It's unbecoming, particularly when your bitterness can be better aimed (vs. at our President and those folks elated at his presence). You ALMOST sound like you cannot wait until the reports of his assasination and other bad news to roll in. Seriously. You don't have to be post-racial. However, you may need (as it's clear that you don't WANT) to chill on this tone.
I'm with Anon 9:29pm
High road my @ss! No way in hell I would've let that slide. Allison dropped the ball on that shyt. That's house Negro behavior. The person should have been told and I would have did a definite stare down while I repeated what the mofos said. What ever happened next was none of my business.
no matter what the outcome was it is always hard. i might not have done the same myself but like i said it is always hard and sad for us.
I would told the man to if he wants to talk about "N" food and killing the President to keep his voice down in public. I would have said this as his black friend/associate was joining the table.
I find it hard to believe that neither he or his lunch companion didn't notice that there was a black person sitting right by them.
I'm not sure why she would have felt better having her husband around. The words would have still stung.
Granny, I'll do a test run on the sweet potato and pecan pie tonight and let you know. Thanks for reminding me. I'll post a review/recipe tomorrow night.
szpork
"If that were me, I think I would have used a white napkin, cut holes in it that represented eyes, made it look like a Klan Hood and dropped it on their table...."
You must have been watching the new Shaft (with Samuel Jackson). How very creative! (sarcasm off)
Anon. 3:06, I am still trying to figure out what you are saying. How am I slamming his O ness and being Tavis Smiley with this post? I simply copied and article from The Philadelphia Daily News. The woman is legit and so is the story. Sheeesh~
Some of you have some good suggestions. I love the hole in the napkin, or calling 911 to report a threat to the Prez.
I guess we never know what we will do until we are put in that position. She is a lady, so I wouldn't expect her to put herself in any danger. But still.....
I am going to try and find out which restaurant it was. I have some ideas but I don't want to speculate unless I am sure.
Anon 12:44AM. Repeat after me: PRESIDENT BARACK H. OBAMA IS MY PRESIDENT. :)
That hurts doesn't it? Now go back over to Wizbang or one of the other wingnut sites that those of your ilk like to frequent.
There's no post racial and there never will be. So, somebody sitting behind you in a restaurant doesn't like you, or people like you. Is it annoying? Yes. Does it effect your life? No. I can't even remember all the times that I've been looked up and down and/or giggled about by black people who wanted me to notice. Did I call them out. No!
Someone once said (I wish I could remember who and I paraphrase). You're seated on the bus a white person gets on and doesn't like you and you have to move to the back. That is YOUR problem.
You get on the bus there's an empty seat next to a white person you sit down and the white person doesn't like it. They get up and move to the back of the bus. That is THEIR problem.
Bigots are having a hard time in this season of Obama. Their bitterness makes me smile.
Man, you people in Philly are hard. I'm trying to think of the last time I've overheard a conversation like this here in Milwaukee. Maybe 20 years ago? Not, of course, that attitudes like this don't still exist, just that it's not socially acceptable to air them out loud.
The writer doesn't say, but could I venture a guess that the two people she speaks of are older, like over 65?
If by "n****r" food the cretin was referring to southern cuisine such as corn bread, greens cooked with a turkey leg, beans and ham, mac and cheese and fried chicken, then the idiot is missing out on some very delicious food.
Good, all the more for me to eat.
Of course there are cretins like that out there still. Mostly I seen them posting comments on winger blogs and not sitting in fancy restaurants. Certainly the guy was an outlier, if the story wasn't made up.
Christopher, that's American food you're talking about right there.
Well, I'll tell you one thing if it was me I wouldn't have had to tell that shit, 'cause when he walks in and sees his "buddy" picking his teeth up, he would've figured something was up.
Not to mention, I wouldn't be surprised if the black guy didn't do anything, our race is trained to take the "high road". Please, fuck a high road! In the 35 years I've been on this earth, I've come to realize that the only thing they understand is an ass whipping, and the good part about it is most white guys are nowhere near my size! Please these crackers can stand in line and lick my nuts 'cause they don't scare me one bit!
i keep trying to tell folks to savor and smile but also keep in mind that all of the problems we have are still here as are the folks who created them in the first place. what has changed collectively- and generally- is our attitude in how to handle them. indeed, for the first time we want to roll up our sleeves together and face them together- as americans. now, i am not pollyannish to think that race is gone forever as an issue- it is alive and well, but i really think that there is hope that it is becoming irrelevant. not simply because mr. obama got elected president- but because the younger folks in this country don't see color as much. they don't see nationality as much. they are more committed to public service and they have more of a stake in success than many of us do. it's their country and planet on the line as it's their future.
as for the restaurant, i am a 37 year old white woman and i would have simply turned around and said 'excuse me?' if all of us don't confront the racism, the homophobia, the misogyny, etc. directed at others and ourselves every day- we are not doing our job. we are all human beings underneath our skin and our religion and our gender. no one has the right to take our humanity away. we should be proud of who we are as people and we need to confront this where we live. we need to take back our communities and continue to make these people irrelevant until they are gone.
otherwise, the cheneys and the bushes and the gonzaleses and the rumsfelds and the other bigots on the right and left will continue their 'reign of terror and error' indefinitely. we make ourselves powerless by not standing up and standing together. there are those of us who want to stand together and make the world a better place. we don't do that by standing still or standing quietly.
and as for n***er food- i lived in the rural south growing up. i hate to break it to the bigot in the restaurant but every white person i saw eating was eating greens, okra, cornbread, etc. so he is most definitely an ignorant bigot.
I've about had it with all the Caucasian . . . White people who contend that racial remarks shouldn't even bother us. Most of them have never been on the bad end of the racist stick and have absolutely no idea as to what discrimination is.
I think that calling attention to the nonsense by way of asking for the manager would have been the best thing to do. It takes the " get physical" aspect out of the immediate picture. Her not saying anything at all was a bit ludicrous, but, I can see her not wanting to be physically assaulted. But, to not say anything, is definitely out of the question.
Again, I'm about 99.99 percent certain that those who wonder why we get so angry at racists remarks are White . . . OK - Caucasian.
I usually say "Caucasian", but most of the time when I need to say it, I have already been angered to the point of only being half-PC (saying "White" instead). Peace.
That ignorant racist was trying to provoke Allison.
He did see she was within an earshot of his "N" bombs.
Lawd I wish I was there.
I'd have given him a good reason to hate niggas.
So would jumping up all red faced and mad have made the bigot more or less satisfied? If he said it loud enough for you to hear was he trying to get a response? If a white person can say "nigger" and you automatically drop what you're doing, get all angry, and make a spectacle of yourself doesn't the bigot have you under his control?
If Obama has taught us anything it's that we need to change our strategies. Proactive not reactive. White folks used to dog those asians (Made in Japan was a joke). Now they're teaching their kids Chinese. You can't shut down an idea (racism) by hollering. You shut it down through excellence. Through real political and economic power. Through knowledge.
BTW: I learned long ago that no matter how righteous a white person might be regarding race, you don't have to hang out long before running into their uber bigoted friends and relatives. No thanks. Lay with dogs, wake with fleas.
I like soul food.
false,
Obama also shows us that we don't have to be Jackie Robinson turning the other cheek anymore.
Disrespect will not be tolerated.
And dealt with swiftly and severely.
Long after Copernicus proved the world was round many people still thought it was flat. Sometimes it takes a while till everyone read the memo.
and Field...a try is the same as a lie!
You have an obligation to tell people what they are dealing w/. it is not simply that the person is AfricanAmerican. I doubt your dining partner would have tolerated their being antisemitic.
Silence is a greater evil than their actions
The person telling the story (Allison?) gives a clue as to why she wasn't able to act out in the moment, and I think I can understand it. The feelings of past pain and shame came rushing back, from a moment when she was young and didn't know what to do. Sometimes those feelings are overwhelming. I have found myself in situations where someone said or did something so outrageously offensive, and I just froze up. Later, the words or actions came to me ("I should have said...." "Why didn't I...?"). I think this is not uncommon in situations of abuse. She didn't say anything to the people in the restaurant, but she did tell the story to us.
She was worse than the two bit chump who she was listening to for not speaking up.
Hey Field...it's been a long time coming but never the less we got here!
((hugs))
Umm... I've been waiting for occurences as such mentioned in this post to happen to me...Especially here in Louisiana. But I think they may have a different breed of "colored folk" here.
I say this because RACISM is crazy out here on both ends...it's just actions and reactions when something pops off.
So I said all this to say. His (neighboring guest)action would have set off a reaction. The least I would have done is throw my drink in his face! And then he'd have something else to talk about at the office :)
And that's real!
Ashley
I can easily believe that that that horrible waste of skin was completely aware of the race of the diners at the next table. Those comments were meant to be heard, a passive aggressive dig at a bystander on the day that yes, "change done come". No other power to change or undo the change that has taken place, he chose to take the coward's road and make statements that a woman would have to choose to ignore.
Now, I can not begin to condemn her for her inability to confront his hatefulness. Wasn't there, haven't lived her life. I might have done the same, even though I doubt it cuz it's not in my nature to let that kind of ugly rudeness pass uncalled.
Me, I chose to make sure that everyone within earshot of our dining heard my happy declaration of "Happy America Day!" as I raised my glass to my table. Every eye in the restaurant met ours and every glass was raised in celebration and I was able to avoid having any of that kind of nonsense said loud enough for us to hear.
I have no idea if this story is true or not but for her to continue to sit there and do NOTHING says more about here than that fool that was insulting here by proxy. I have experienced this myself and I never let it pass.
You hear this stuff so much from these pissed brained cretins that if you get "ethnic" every time they do it you'd become psychotic. Believe me, I had my moments of getting in their retarded faces and ready to rumble.
I had to find a non-physical solution to this problem.
For what it's worth, this is my solution. I stand tall and look right straight at them and give them that calm "I'm better than your retarded dumbass smile and see what happens if you touch me" smile. That calm scares them and the laugh hurts their tiny egos.
Racist hate being laughed at, seriously.
On the other hand, if they touch me I'll do my best to rip out and organ.
Why have all these emotions and do nothing? All she did was stress herself out, and she's probably still feeling horrible about it.
just curious why all of you don't protest as much when one of your rappers comes out on a cd every other word n this n that OR a comedian goes on stage calling everyone a n
i guess your sensablities have been damaged.....maybe you should stop throwing rocks if you want to live in a glass house?
Field,
Good post. Learning opportunity for me.
Could we be missing the forest for the trees here?
Let me raise this question: Was it an act of cowardice for this writer to show her vulnerability to hundreds of thousands of readers and risk the onlsaught of criticism and scorn from others?
If she was a "school girl" in the 50's, it seems to me that she is probably 60 - 65 years old and...and married to WHITE man?!?
A black woman from this generation who marries a white man has had (without question) her share of adventures.
Her life seems to demonstrate anything but cowardice!
I am a white man married to woman of color, and I would have gone Ape as only a Chicago-Irishman could.
Cut this woman some slack, man. She is being real. She using her vulnerability as potent teaching tool for all of us.
And I echo Christopher's remarks: I cannot get enough real, well-prepared southern soul cuisine these days.
You can't be a true west indian if you let that pass. There's a way to say anything and you could had an entire meal to think of something. Very dissappointed, especially from a lawyer!
Mr. Anonymous at 11:48 p.m.
I saw a video of that pastor on Youtube. I think we have a new candidate for House Negro of the Day, in fact, House Negro of the Century!
Hey, Field,
You didn't happen to catch that love fest last night that Sean Hannity did with Rush Limbaugh, did you?
I can certainly see why Alan Colmes jumped ship. I felt the "Rush" and it made my stomach turn.
"just curious why all of you don't protest as much when one of your rappers comes out on a cd every other word n this n that OR a comedian goes on stage calling everyone a n"
If they're anything like me they don't listen to that shit.
Evidently YOU DO.
You're a better person than me Ms. Allison because they would have had to call a tow truck to pull my foot out of his ass.
Kimberly,
I know that Field follows conservative pundits somewhat just to see what they are gabbing about.
I happened to watch the interview from beginning to end and I found two things objectionable:
1) Downplaying the historical significance of Obama's presidency.
2) I also think it is disingenuious to equate President Obama with Socialistic policies (even though that is what many of his policies are). We have been on the Socialist road since the 1930's. No one party or candidate is solely responsible. The U.S. is and has been doing it gradually.
On the otherhand, I think it is useful to listen to what conservatives have to say because they will (from time to time) raise good questions.
Vdubjb, what are you talking about? Again folks this DID NOT HAPPEN TO ME. Read the post again.
To the people who doubt this is a true story. What the hell planet are y'all living on? This shit happens every hour of every day here in A-merry-ca.
Fortunately we are turning the page, as these racist old fools are dying out, slowly but surely, and taking their poisoned way of thinking with them. Good fucking riddance!
oops, teaches me to read blogs whilst eating lunch during a company move, haha.
I agree she should've said something. That high road bllsht is for the weak.
Now I would've asked the manager to come over immediately and ask that the gentleman be moved ASAP. If he makes a big deal, then I'd repeat his statement and demand that he be removed from my presence. I'd hope the mofo would leave and wait outside the establishment to confront me. First I'd appear weak and allow the gentleman to hit me. Once he does that, it's on and poppin shawty. Anything in reach will be used to defend myself from this saltine. After demolishing this gentleman I'd call 911 and report I'd been attacked and my assailant may need an ambulance.
Everybody saying what they woulda done need to stop and think for a minute. Have you always confronted ignorance in your everyday life? Stop saying this woman should be ashamed of herself for not confronting this dude and just think what it would feel like to actually be there.
And another thing: Field, whats up with "I understand that you could not have attempted to bring physical harm to the individual because you are a lady." What exactly are you saying here?
Betmo:
"i lived in the rural south growing up. i hate to break it to the bigot in the restaurant but every white person i saw eating was eating greens, okra, cornbread, etc. so he is most definitely an ignorant bigot."
Betmo you told the truth there, and it is one of the truths that is overlooked and ignored the majority of times. I know that's the truth because there some southern white women that can cook as well. I know some. There is this woman that lives by some of my kinfolks in Louisiana deep in the woods, and that woman can cook some candied yams that will melt in your mouth. That's not all she can cook either.
Two of my best girlfriends, Colette and Francine,both are white. I've been friends with them since the 70's. Can cook some soulfood. Colette is a French woman, she is from France. We've spent the night at each other's house and had dinner at each other's house many times.
Those two women can get down in the kitchen and have Granny's stamp of approval. Sometimes, I tease Francine and tell her, "Girl, you cooked the wrinkles out those Chitlins." Because they are tender and clean.
Soul food is all they cook, and they can cook. Let me make something perfectly clear, Granny is the type of person that don't eat everybodies cooking, because everybody don't have cooking skills. Some folks slop stuff together, don't know how season stuff right, Betty Crocker this and Hamburger Helper that, and are not clean.
I got a thirteen year old granddaughter that cook. She fried some chicken and cooked some macroni and cheese for the church they belong to. It was so good, the preacher brought it up during church service and said, "Hallelujah, Lord, bless that chicken, make a way, and lay it on her heart to cook us some more," And the congregation said,"Amen."
I don't think that she should be ashamed of herself. Nor do I think that people should be hard on her. It's different strokes for different folks. People handle situations in different ways.
I can only speak for myself on how I would handle a situation similar to hers, because I know me and how I am. I'm a straightforward and verbal person, always have been, and always will be. Not only that, I know how and will defend myself if necessary.
RisingTide:
I am glad to see that you posted. I wanted to say "thank you" as I have done a lot reading and research on Silver and have since made some investments.
I have been partial to the good 'ol yellow metal for years, but have since learned a lot about the merit of having it.
Does she get upset when she hears a black person use the word or only when white people use it? Can't have it both ways..wrong is wrong!!
To the people who doubt this is a true story. What the hell planet are y'all living on? This shit happens every hour of every day here in A-merry-ca.
Oh, no one's saying there isn't racism in America, but I thing this particular account is fishy. I quite strongly doubt we'll ever know for sure, but the specific claims here are way out there. Given the setting, I don't think the story is plausible.
People have made up tales like this before, and by no means are such inventions limited to black people. I think the woman in question is an attention seeker, to put it mildly, but like I say, I can't prove it. I will note that neither can she prove her story.
Absent some supporting testimony, I'm not believing this one.
By the way, we've got enough goblins without having to invent more of 'em.
Adam:
I heard something good for you.
La incognita, ROFLMAO, you had me in stitches reading your profile.
Field Negro, what do you guys think about the redo of the sworn in speech? I think they messed it up for Obama on purpose. What do you think?
GrannyStandingforTruth:
Please share if you are willing and able.
Yours,
Adam
"Field Negro, what do you guys think about the redo of the sworn in speech?"
Desperate times call for desperate measures. What else can I tell you.
I don't know grinder. I know the folks over at the Daily News, and they are pretty thorough in their reporting. I doubt they would allow this this lady to put a story out there that dpesn't check out.
Adam:
It wasn't much just a blessing coming your way.
Sharon:
He didn't do it on purpose. He got a little nervous, it was a first for him, and a historical moment in which he had the honor of being chose to do it.
I'm a decent cook and I love to eat.
I didn't know know how to make greens so Jim's mama taught me. She passed on the recipe her mama taught her. In turn, I taught Jim's mama how to cook Italian meatballs from scratch, traditional-style with sauce.
She taught me how to make whipped potatoes using condensed milk so you get those peaks. I taught her how make Italian Christmas cookies.
We boned over our love of food.
This dilemma reminds me of the story of the woman who found $93K in the restroom a few weeks ago. My (middle-aged white woman) first inclination would probably be to do what Jackie and nyc/Caribbean ragazza suggested and politely tell the a**hole to keep his voice down. But my heart would be in my throat the entire time. You never know when someone like that is carrying a concealed weapon, or has a gun rack in the back of his pickup and is prepared to follow you out of the restaurant.
Actually, my first reaction would probably be to walk out, go home and write a letter to the editor, vow never to patronize that restaurant again, and then go volunteer to help a child learn to read. Nothing I can say is going to get through to that man.
Sharon V, I don't think it was deliberate. Roberts was a GWB appointment--what more could we expect? He arrived unprepared, without any notes, and figured he could wing it. It's only 35 little words.
My gut feeling is that Roberts choked on the name "Barack Hussein Obama" and never recovered from there.
Christopher:
I can tell you love food. Now, I wish you could have met my grandmother. She loved to cook for people who loved to eat.
Christopher, she made the best homemade biscuits and homemade peach preserves in this world. (smile)
Whenever she cooked, she cooked like she was cooking for an army, because not a day went by that someone didn't drop by her house to get a plate. None of it went to waste either, she fed a lot of hungry people down on their luck.
She used to bake cakes from scratch and send them to some of my friends that were in the military. This guy that owned a restaurant begged her to come and cook for his restaurant, but she refused to let him do her like they did the pancake lady. (smile)
My granny had a good heart, and she was a wise old woman. She could read people like a book with 100% accuracy.
Chistopher, dear heart, could we please stop talking about food, you making granny get all teary-eyed,sentimental, and things. (smile)
GrannyStandingforTruth:
I must say that being a married to wonderful woman of 13 years, and having three beautiful and healthy children...that if our Lord chose not to bless me anymore....He has already blessed me with far more than I dreamed.
Thank you for the Word and I will seek to be vigilant and alert...moreover - tenderhearted.
Yours,
Adam
Listen, I hear the N-word a dozen times a day, only it's usually being said by a Black kid in high school. I assume the kid's in high school, being that young and all. Since I value my life, I do not challenge them on proper use of the word. So if I can be indifferent to the word's use, why should I worry that a White dude is saying it? Is he any more rude than those high school kids calling each other "N-"! Seems kind of relative, doesn't it?
If the dude was saying it on purpose, then the woman did exactly right in not confronting him. Stepping in dog shit is easy. Getting rid of the smell more difficult, if you catch my drift.
I believe we should confront ignorance and stupidity. I'd have turned to the dude and said outloud something like, "look dude, I know you're just trying to be cool and down with the fact that a lot of Black folks use the N-word and therefore so can you, but when I hear it, I hear a lot of hate and fear. It hurts me when someone uses it the way you just did. Have a good life, and I hope your dick is bigger than your mind."
But that's just me.
Yo Field,
It's been a while since I've read any of your articles. I decided to pop in, and this one caught my eye. I agree 100% with your last statement... saying nothing is just as bad [as contributing]. God, I hate racism. How do we still act so primitive?
Love to hear back from you, we've got a link up for ya!
-Ken
I don't know grinder. I know the folks over at the Daily News, and they are pretty thorough in their reporting. I doubt they would allow this this lady to put a story out there that dpesn't check out.
The Daily News ran this on their opinion page, and no culprit was identified. For that reason, they could easily relax any fact-checking standards without worrying about specific consequences.
I think that one's got "urban legend" written all over it, but if someone chose to investigate it and found corroborating evidence, I could be convinced. It's not that I adamantly refuse to believe it. I just don't think it's likely.
I'm sorry, Granny to make you tear!
Your grandmother sounds like a gem.
My grandmother instilled in me a love of food too. I got my love of baseball from my father but my love of food came directly from spending hours helping my grandmother cook.
Grinder, no offence, but there's something about you that's so... trojan horse-ish. You always seem to have this way of trying to pacify racism. I really don't think you're over that white denial hump as yet.
Yes Sharon, a profile says a lot :)
you pull up your pants, turn down your bass and get a job and maybe people will stop calling you the n-word? huh?
Shit I see more white boys with their pants down and the bass pumped up than blacks...Pleassse! What fucking earth do you live on?Keep believing with the fucking media is selling you. I lived in an area that was 98% white(spokane) and all those white boys have their pants down. Say it again...BARACK OBAMA IS MY PRESIDENT!!!!!!
Moron.
BTW, with=what...Idiot.
It's Friday and I am just reading this as I came to the end, I was co-signing on your "BTW". I further think she should have said something before as soon as she heard the comments. See this is my issue about our generation and the younger ones. We learned from our compromised Boomer parents to just go along to get along and then whine about it as victims to think that was proactive. Proactivity would have been for her to get immediately. She is a compromised Black Person who thinks she took the high road. Fuck the high road. Power stratification does not respect the high road. And just like her, she probably believes Barack takes the high road because we see him so calm and removed from being scathed by cruel racist tactics.
I am sick of Blacks who've made it think they are "down" because they too have not had it completely easy. She's not Black like me.
Throwing out her leverage of bragging her defense of White Approval in having a White husband to defend her is offensive to me. It makes me wonder. I realize she sees the premium of having her husband as the person who would shield her from feeling too Black at times. I knew this about mixed relationships but they, the people involved deny this. I dated White Guys to realize that there are some sick intentions involved and both parties will use each other for karmic redemption of their Darwinian fate as White and Black. She was too much of a punk to stand up for her Black self herself because she did feel that she could with all certainty of her Blackness being worthy of defense of herself as that advocate. She mentioned her husband as her stabilizer of her self-regard and that was because he was White. By showing the influence of his color, she showed her unconscious value system.
And last...I am sick of hearing Black People say there relatives fought for the day to see a Black President. Most people did not fight for anything except parts of the chicken at dinner time. I mean really...this past week so many people have exalted their ancestors as heroes when if that was the case, we would have not been fated such a life we have. I mean it seems that everyone's ancestors now were fighters because they picked cotton and was raped or exploiter. That was just the sick fate we had. Our fate did not deem us all heroes because we were victims and because our families experienced the tragic fate of being born into the fate, they still were not automatic heroes that chipped in to fight for anything.
As much as she mythicized her family being noble and heroic, they obviously were not as awe-inspiring because they left no responsibility upon her as legacy to know better. She could still marry a White man but she could be more solid in her skin of her race with pride instead of fear and uncertainty. Her life has been shaped by her ancestors' failure to leave the legacy she is lying about but conclusively her present legacy with their's that she is trying to attest to is not relative to nobility of people that built and people that had vision of her understanding what being proud about the first Black President meant in matter. It meant that her ass would get up from her seat and not wait for Jewish friend to defend her.
Her Jewish friend in the same position would have said something or gotten the people thrown out. I betcha!
I remember when a Jewish guy in Atlanta bought a shirt and coffee mug from me for his friend who was Black. His friend was always talking about racism and wanting social change. So the Jewish guy gifted him with the shirt and mug. The Jewish told me that he was so livid and hurt because the Black guy said, "Naw man, I can't wear that. I'm trying to go under the radar!". The Jewish guy told me his heart broke in half. He went home and told his mother and his mother was pissed. He said his mother had been talking about the fact that Blacks gave up their mission and their movement long ago to ahead. This came from a very pissed off Jewish woman who knew we sold out. The mother and son was pissed because they saw that the young man spent his time advertising and marketing that he wanted to fight racism but when the time came for him to simply wear the shirt I created, he could not. He wanted miracles but he did not maybe want to get beat or scarred or experienced hurt feelings in the fight. That is our generation of Blacks that I see among us who are Xers. I see it worse among the GenYs.
We are lost and confused but Barack Obama only clearly magnified that we were class stratified in the Black Community with and against each other and how the people divide into sub-demographics of Blackness eroded. Everyone who is Black claims they are Black because they are genetically coded but everyone is not Black like me. She is Black in the way she identified with the Obamas and their sector. A lot of people are trying to procreate a mixed children to redeem their victim status of being born Black out with the guilt of a White who wants to feel cleansed and redeemed as well. They say the mulatto in Barack and listen to the hype and are now taking over what Blackness is. She knew her story would be read and thought she would be exalted as a victim of esteem when she did not do shit and her marriage to a White is not a crusade either. It's cheating to not deal with legacies of their worth both feeling inadequate not knowing how to deal with being born disillusioned. They think they could marry their races away and find a way to, when conditional, be proud of their races.
I thank the racist for setting this in motion for her to out herself unknowingly because people don't believe me when I present these suppositions. We don't have these conversations yet about how confused Black people are now about what definitively is Blackness. I even know I can't really be judge and jury about what is Blackness but who can? We don't have any organization of ourselves even as people with segmented acknowledged interests.
We don't even know how to talk about people like her but DC is no longer Chocolate City. It's filled with people with brown skin who are not Black like Me. Howard University's Blackness is dead. Washington was suffering like this for years but Barack only signified the differences and divides. Our embarrassments however pushes us to deny that we really are that separated and segmented. She is not rare. There are so many like her in the educated class and the Black educated class are more like her than they think and see of themselves.
The solution to the issue was rather simple. I'm rather surprised a supposedly educated worldly person as the writer couldn't have figured it out - which lends a lot of credence to some of Angela's rant above.
All the author had to do was to call the restaurant manager/owner over, and lodge a complaint.
Assuming the manager/owner isn't an idiot or bigot (but I repeat myself), he'd recognize the bigot's actions were against his business interests - just as having a drunk dropping the "f" bomb every ten seconds is bad for business.
Leaving the bigot in the embarrassing position of being corrected by the restaurant staff...
Or being asked to leave.
Business woman?
Hardly.
Andrea,
that black guy didn't know his manners. you smile, say thank you, and if you wanna go under the radar, you put that shirt under a jacket. Your friend doesn't need to know that you don't wear it a lot, it was a GIFT! Or heck, give it to someone with more balls!
yap,yap,yap
your prez can't/won't (not in his intrest's) stop the blk on blk killing and blk's going to jail
WON'T HAPPEN!
actually getting worse :)
And I assume you are also up in arms about the spate of Asian College students ...
Killing folks?
http://www.nytimes.com/2009/01/23/us/23brfs-KILLINGATVIR_BRF.html
Racist ass.
Andrea:
Not all of our ancestors fought over a piece of chicken, nor were all of them scared. Some of them gave their life and were beaten severely by law officers, in order to see that your generation and those after you could enjoy some of the freedoms you enjoy and take for granted. Whelp, the bible said in the last days that young folks would be ungrateful.
They did the best they could and knew how to do for that period of time, because most of them couldn't even read or write, and the laws of the land were against them. Blacks were outnumbered, out gunned, and the laws were not in their favor. And just like we have today, there,also, were black folks that liked to kiss master's behind just to get a pat on the head and be called a good little negro even when those same misguided laws affected them. They would snitch on those who tried to fight back and get them killed or their homes burned down. One more thing, blacks being tribal have a tendency not to stick together. You'll always find some out the bunch that go against their own people instead of uniting as other races do. That's their biggest downfall, which I guess has something to do with a slave mentality that still lingers, which was passed down from generation to generation, in some of their way of thinking.
Sometimes you have to ease your hand out of the lion's mouth and deal with matters one step at a time. Acting rash defeats the purpose and can cost a whole lot of unnecessary lives.
Nevertheless, from some of your statements, I guess the way they went about it wasn't good enough for you. The reality is, though, there was a time when blacks had no rights at all and by law could be hung, or jailed for even trying to defend themselves from physical violence or unscrupulous white folks. Back then, it was white folk's word against blacks and I shouldn't have to tell you whose word they took. BTW, that wasn't too far back in the past. Because up until I became a young adult, there was no such thing as civil rights for blacks.
Maybe, you didn't have to go through what those black folks you look down on did or experienced in those days, so it somehow makes you feel a little superiority over those old folks who you snubbed accomplishments as insignificant. Or maybe, you might be missing the point, which is that your existence doesn't and never did depend on whether whites like you or what they think about you. White folks don't breathe life into you, nor does any other race of people.
It depends on how you feel and what you think about yourself. There is one thing I refuse to do and that is let another human being define me. I know who I am, where I came from, and where I'm going and I'm not about to let another human being tell me different or try to convince me otherwise. I'm proud of my heritage and who I am.
BTW, I'm proud of my family which consist of different races and is similar to Obama's family, because it's from them I learned about people and what it really means to love your fellow human beings.
Anonymous 12:44:
Hmmm...guess what and he probably won't stop whites from killing their mommas, daddy's, wives, husbands, and kids, either. I guess, that type of white on white crime will continue as well. But then again, we just had 43 white presidents and none of them stop it either. So, chew on that!
Andrea:
BTW, I forgot to mention that I do agree with you on most of what you said.
Grinder, no offence, but there's something about you that's so... trojan horse-ish. You always seem to have this way of trying to pacify racism. I really don't think you're over that white denial hump as yet.
Takw that boulder off your shoulder. Sometimes people lie. That white girl with the B carved into her cheek, and Tawana Brawlwy. You want me to just accept the story out of what, a terrible sense of white guilt?
My answer: Keep wishing. This guy's mother didn't raise any fool. If you want me to apologize for what I am, you'd better be prepared for hell to freeze over.
It's funny but I would imagine that the black "friend" of these folks has heard all this before.
He really needed no one to set him aside. This end wouldn't surprise me at all.
He knows the company he keeps, and in that is probably a republican.
They can be as shallow as anything regardless of color.
That's painful to read, Field, but the fact is, in a post-racial world, we just have to be patient while all the crackers die off.
The day will come when school children read about what we have lived through and put it right up there with cave man stuff!
Hugh:
I love your icon.
granny, it's been widly publized for the past several years out the fact that young black men are killing each other and not taking responciblity for their children even to the point that famous blacks like sharpton, cosby and others come out trying to stop the numbers from raising and they get called names and castised.
so, say what you want about whites it is'nt going to solve your/the negro race's problem.
And that's the biggest problem you defend the killing and illegitament kids by saying no, no it's not us it's the mean ol white people.
obama is one of us now and thrown the negros under the bus.....you watch.
Anonymous:
Oh, so, because I pointed out the white on white crime, you accuse me of defending killings and illegitimate children? Smh! Did I lie about whites killing their mommas, daddys, children, husbands, and wives? And here, I was, trying to be lenient by not mentioning and pointing out the killing sprees they've committed at schools or the other stuff like the crystal meth epidemic, and oh, yes, I left out the illegitimate children too, and a few others things.
So, I guess you want me to believe that you just so concerned and grieved about the problems in the black folks community that you on this Captain Save a Black Folks mission.
Okay, so tell me, what are you doing to help solve the situation? Have you organized any organizations to help get troubled black kids off the streets? Do you go and visit jails and counsel the troubled black youths to help rehabilitate them? Do you donate money to different organizations that work with the black youths in helping to get them off the streets or that give them positive guidance or educate them about the importance of health, marriage, and responsibility, etc.? How many black youths have you mentored? Or do you go out into the highways and byways and try to lead them to Jesus? Just tell me one thing that you do to help solve the situation other than finger point and make belittling and derogatory remarks towards black folks.
BTW, I don't think that all white folks are mean-spirited, nope, only some of them are, like you for instance. I look at them just like I do my own race and any other race. Some I like and some I don't. Nor do I defend killings and illegitimate children. I'm old fashion, so to speak, and believe in put up or shut up.
One more thing, statements like this from you, "obama is one of us now and thrown the negros under the bus.....you watch." are beginning to make me think that you have a serious malfunction in your way of thinking. Either that or your comprehension level is not up to speed.
Thank you, Granny.
Granny, stop being so defensive. Yeah, Anon 11:11 spoke harshly but he's frustrated and is blowing off steam. Instead of jumping down his throat, look past the notes and listen to the music.
You know, a whole lot of whites don't jump in with "solutions" because they know the minute they try, they'll step on some rhetorical crack in the sidewalk and find themselves facing a torrent of abuse for their racism. Who needs the f'in headache, they tell themselves.
So, you know what happens? A whole lot of white people wring their hands and turn away, knowing that they'll be damned if they do and not damned so much if they stay invisible.
Yeah, yeah, I'm in the KKK. We all know that, or soon enough La Incognita or beantwnchica will make sure to remind me of that. But what I'm telling you is true. All manner of people have given up for fear that they just might say the wrong damn thing, and reap the whirlwind.
What, I as a white man am going to go the city jail and "counsel" young black kids to get back on the straight and narrow. Please, don't insult my intelligence. Now, I've done things here and there. Donated a complete set of Olympic weight to the central city YMCA. Helped out a Katrina family. Stuff like that.
But you know that? Anon 11:11 makes a damn good point. Crudely for sure, yet accurately. Black people are going to have to step up to the plate. As a community, they've been too lax on themselves. There is too much crap at every level. Yell at me if you want, but it's true and everyone on this web site knows it.
Filled Negro:
What makes this ONE IGNORANT WHITE MAN more powerful with his words than the many individual Black people who make frequent use of this ignorant word?
What if I told you that there are several eateries in a part of town that I am thinking of that middle class Black people would dare not go because this famous fish place is located on what was deemed "the most deadly block in Atlanta"?
This is on Joseph E Boone Blvd in Atlanta. The replaced the street named after a Confederate General with one named after this civil rights leader. Ironically just a few blocks away from this fish place that Blacks who are averse to risk dare not go to is the intersecting street that should be of note to you - "Joseph Lowery Blvd". Despite his statement that "Black should get back" he did not focus on the "Blacks who stay away" from some of the areas that are in their own communities due to fear that IS NOT coming from WHITE FOLKS.
I remain puzzled as to why you and other Negroes seek to promote the words of a select few White folks over the actual murderous actions of the Drug Thugs who have REAL life Black people living in fear.
Granny, I thought about my comment and wanted to apologize for singling you out. You make lots of great comments here. I'm just frustrated, because to discuss this stuff is like tiptoeing through a minefield.
I think some white people are hard core racists, and that might be the case with Anon 11:11. But I think other white people are just pissed off, and at some point they say, "Screw it. If I'm going to be considered a racist every time I say what I really think, then I'll just quit trying not to be a racist and say whatever comes into my primitive brain."
I think people ought to be looking for some ways to open up the playing field. When Lowry made his comment about "white doing right," I could have taken offense but I didn't because he had a point to make.
I don't know what the answers are, but people are dying on the streets and most of those people are black. We're in a world of hurt, and what we've been doing hasn't worked well enough.
Grinder:
Yeah, grinder anything pertaining to blacks is always widely publicized. If they spit on the sidewalk that would be publicized as well. However, whites have problems in their neighborhoods as well, but they keep that hush, hush. They don't broadcast it.
Oh, so, anonymous was just being a little harsh in his statements, is that it, really? That's what you telling me? Anonymous telling folks, "accept what you are a nigger," along with other little derogatory remarks here and there, and you consider that as just being harsh. Okay, but when Brother Shabazz expresses himself , you don't like that. Why not? After all, he is just being a little harsh and blowing off some stream. Please don't go there, because its a whole lot of black folks got enough stream and frustrations to blow off that could generate enough power to run a locomotive.
BTW, I'm not on the defensive, I just keep it real, but I am not about to sit back and let a white person slide who is making belittling and derogatory remarks about blacks tell us how to clean up our backyard, especially, when their own backyard needs cleaning. I don't mind whites talking about the problem, if they're helping us to deal with the problem or making suggestions without the derogatory and belittling remarks towards blacks that is.
You don't see me getting on Jody, Bob, Sagioushillbilly or a few other white folks that post on this board, case. They talk about the black on black crime all the time. Did it ever occur to you why I don't? It must be a difference in the way they express themselves, don't you think? It is a reason why I respect their input and you need to figure that out.
However, when a white person is making derogatory remarks and belittling black folks, that white person is not really interested in trying to solve the black on black crime. Nope, their real aim is enforce that little small-minded notion that ALL blacks are worthless, and every other negative connotation they can pen on them. They're not sincere in their concern or really interested in helping solve the problem, they just want to use it for an excuse to spit out their hatred towards black people. That's the difference. Whites have degraded and belittled blacks folks for decades, and that is what Granny is not gonna put up with. Enough is enough!
Yeah, yeah, blacks need to step up to plate. Okay, but what about white folks stepping up to the plate as well on a whole lot of stuff. Stop acting like your race is made up of these perfect do no wrong angels. You see in your opinion, when white folks are pointing out blacks faults and shortcomings its all good and you say we need to stop being defensive. But heaven forbid when blacks get to pointing out y'all shortcomings and faults that's where y'all draws the line and say we're complaining or avoiding dealing with our problems, and is considered a no no in y'all eyesight.
I lived in a predominantly white city once thinking that it would be free from crime. Boy, did I get the shock of my life. To tell you the truth, after four years of living in that predominantly white city, I felt safer in my own black neighborhood. I was so thankful to move back to it, until I almost wanted to kiss the ground. I observed whites do some terrible things and get away with it, a slap on the wrist, or darn near encouraged to do it, and they don't advertise theirs in the newspapers or on the news. Nope, they keep it on the quiet side and point fingers at other races to keep folks from looking at what's really going on in their neighborhoods.
BTW, La Incognita or beantwnchica are calling it like they see it. Both are intelligent women and they're not stupid. Maybe, you should ask them what it is that you say that gives them that opinion of you. I'm sure they'd be glad to tell you because they're pretty straightforward. I wouldn't go so far as to say you wear a KKK sheet, but you do have a way of showing great insensitivity and indifference towards blacks.
As for your excuse why you wouldn't go to a counsel black youths in a jail or in any other situation, that is all it is, an excuse. Because their are some white folks that do it everyday and find it a rewarding experience. Funny thing is, though, that most of them are women.
Grinder:
BTW, I really don't think that you mean any harm or you're a bad person, I just think that your not aware of how you come across at times. However, don't ever be afraid to voice your opinion because of what others might think, because if you never voice them, you'll never get an understanding.
I hate being a lurker but Granny, you are awe inspiring!
Sorry to interrupt!
Granny,
I've been out-of-pocket for the past few days. I'm just reading the previous comments.
The comment about fighting over chicken is a joke.
Most of our people were scared or lazy. Evidence shows in who we are and how we, the ancestors rationalize now. It is what we were taught. We model behavior.
Just because it sounds negative and to be self-loving we think we have to cheerlead when sometimes we need to just tell the truth. To be courageous was to actually live knowing your death was going to go down Spartan instead of trying to survive for another day of reasoning that a spared life is a stronger army. Please!
And most people now try to still mythicize their ancestors instead of telling the truth. That why we are so torn by double-consciousness to know that maybe you are supposed to lose the physical fight in order to teach your children resiliency and stamina. What I see is the by-product of a lot of people who have told lies about their lack of courage and repackaged it as sensible warfare--when they never fought.
Everyone tends to think they are a fighter because they say they are. It's like Chip Heath's book with his brother, MAKE IT STICK. We are a nation of salesmen and not truthtellers. We tell ourselves the stories to make it all better.
Because I say that our people were cowards does not mean I don't love our people. I love them hard and tough. And because a lot of my ancestors lacked courage does not mean I amount to the sum of their fears. You can recreate legacy but people think that means revising truths to tell lies about ugly, disappointments we rather micro-manage out of our knowledge.
Most people are not as courageous as they market they are.
Rising Tide,
The part I left out was: the irony that set the Jewish family members off was that they were harrassed in the South. That was their legacy after having a Holocaust legacy they felt they had to honor. They lived in the South to marvel and take pride in seeing the Civil Rights' engineers in the same very city, Atlanta, conspire to be so courageous and industrious, for their children (legacies) to exploit their legacies as if it was pageant of bemoaning or marketing worth because of bloodline.
The family was offended because the Black guy was always talking about how the Jews had it easier and that the Holocaust was not as bad as slavery. The Jews saw that with the shirt he should have been in the mind and heart ready to be prepared to fight because to them, the shirt I had was all about what Jews believed in. They wanted me to make them Uppity Jew shirts. They wanted to wear the Uppity Negro shirts because that was the equivalent to being a Holocaust survivor proclaiming it. The Black guy did not get it. The Jews did.
The guy wanted to be touted as a victim but he did not want to fight back in everyday life as a survivor of victimization. The Jews got it.
When I used to speak at colleges I would tell students that I didn't want to hear their sad stories about racism unless they were ready to fight it. The students would quickly freeze in shock because the systems in place allows victims to bemoan and then proclaim without really having to proactively counter the victimization. That was what the Black guy did in not wanting to wear the shirt. He wanted the Jews, his friends to celebrate him as a victim peer but they were where I was in saying "show it" that he wanted to fight it and "move forward" in building from it.
The Jewish family clearly figured out he was like most of us by-products of the Giants who shoulders we stand on. He however did not realize he was a heavy burden on the shoulders like so many of us who never realize that.
That Jewish family was sick of Atlanta Blacks that did not know how to build out from the Civil Rights Era in carrying on the intentions of those Civil Rights greats. The Jewish family saw that the children--us--only knew how to vocally claim but not "be" like them.
So having a Black guy tell a Jewish family that he can't be that out front in fighting when they choose to was insulting. And people can make excuses that the Black guy had "go under the radar" but then an excuse can be made for everyone of us who actually do use the same excuse while still trying to gather recognition that we are noble fighters. Something had to give.
I'll had a Rabbi located in the DC area acknowledge and infer the same assumptions but there is no space yet to talk about this. No Jew that is sympathetic wants to be misconstrued as being dogmatic and oppressive in shaming us for being sellouts to our legacy eventhough they see it just as some of us Blacks see it.
So I cannot excuse the Black guy just like the Jewish family did not. The Jewish family ended up figuring out that the shirts I created just were not one-dimensional. I was testing people of their resolve and their position. Sometimes people figured it out cognitively and immediately got mad at me, not even knowing my face or who I was, because the shirts tested them of "whatcha' gonna do now". That Jewish family got that after seeing the young man flee right in front of them which they are also "white people". They saw the hypocrisy of crying foul while also hiding behind something yet trying to project heroism.
I figured out we needed to be tested. I just could not tell people that. They would figure out when they were introduced to the shirts or the website. Many were offended and yet they did not get that they were onstage being watched. That day the Black guy refused the chance to stand up and accept the shirt and mug with pride, the Jews immediately saw him for who he was: a coward and big front. They were broken hearted. They also saw the dynamics play out in real-time to explain why they were so pissed off with the legacies of The Movement. They saw the incrimental movements and choices we make to cocoon our selves and our sensibilities to maintain these myths we tell ourselves to feel good as heroes.
Granny, I wouldn't begin to defend every anonymous comment on this boiard. I defended one of them, maybe two, but that's it.
As for the volunteer work, I truly can't imagine what the hell good I could do by visiting a juvenile delinquent of any race, in jail. What the hell could I say? Straighten up and fly right?
Andrea:
Whelp, Andrea, what can I say, you know your ancestors better than I do. I can't speak for yours, but I can speak for my family. Let me repeat myself,again, not ALL were scared. There are a lot that are still not scared or cowards and back then most were outnumbered and out gunned.
Maybe, you never read about the many race riots that took place in the past. Or the uprising in Haiti. Would you consider those black people that fought back cowards?
I can't speak for you either, but I can speak for myself. I'm not now or ever have been scared of anyone with two hands and arm just like me. My parents and grandparents always taught me to defend myself, regardless of who it is, white or black or whatever race, and they meant it. I wasn't afforded the luxury of running home or letting someone use me for a punching bag, because that would have meant a whipping when I got home, and I'd be sent right back out to do what they told me--defend myself. Therefore, different strokes for different folks.
Times have changed whereas now you're able to deal with matters in a different manner, which is a good thing. BTW, the chicken joke wasn't funny to me. I guess, I didn't get it.
Grinder:
"What the hell could I say? Straighten up and fly right."
Smh! Grinder, you would be defeating the purpose if you went at them like that. Because you would come across as being more condesending towards them then trying to help. Do you know how to make friends? I'm going to let you figure out what I mean by that last statement.
Granny, won't be able to reply to any other comments directed at me, because I'm busy working on a project. Therefore, it might be a while before I can reply to any of them. From here on out, I'll only be dropping in every once in a while, until I finish what I'm doing and have more free time or I'm led to.
Granny, I live in Seattle. It's hard enough to make friends with the people my own age who roam free around here -- read up on the infamous "Seattle freeze" -- let alone with juvenile delinquents in jail.
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