Friday, February 12, 2010

The power of the bling.



I guess I should be blogging about another shooting in A-murder-ca. This one in Northern Alabama, a very beautiful part of our country. The killings were allegedly done by a college professor who was denied tenure. Hey, I have a bunch of academics in my family, so I know how important tenure is, but killing three people? Man these are some crazy times we live in.

But enough of the gloom and doom, it's close to Valentine's Day (or, as some people like to say: Valen-times Day. It's Valentine's people. V-A-L-E-N-T-I-N-E-S) and love is in the air.


In keeping with that theme, a young fellow who is thinking of popping the question wanted to know if his engagement ring was nice enough, and he showed it to the field to get my opinion....."What do you think, field? I don't know man, she is kind of high maintenance, I don't want to come off..you know, like I am cheap."

I am not an expert in these things, I don't know anything about the 4-C's that a ring is supposed to have. All I know is that I am probably still paying for mine. And I know that there is a school of though out there that says you are to pay a percentage of your annual salary for your ring. I think it's 10%, or a months salary or something. (Ladies help me with this one.) Personally, I think that people should just buy what they can afford, and in this recession that only makes more sense. But I am not some love struck youngster, so what do I know? So back to my man. He clearly seemed a bit worried and I felt for him. I was thinking that maybe dude wasn't jumping the broom with the right person if he was going to be this worried about his engagement ring. I don't remember sweating it that much, but then I don't remember Mrs. Field being high maintenance, either.

"Does she have a lot of friends?" Yes field, she does. "Well, yeah, you better make sure it's right. Why don't you show it to one of her girls, and ask them if they think she would like it? No, scratch that", I told him, "she has to see it first. "If she doesn't like it do you think she will tell you?" "Nah man, she would probably just take it and laugh at me with her friends later on." Damn! Dude has some issues.

"Hey man, all I can tell you is that it looks pretty good to me. Is it a carat?" "It's a half."" Ah hell, well you are good. It's not like you are Donald Trump. If she goes to get it appraised, and she might, the jeweler will get your back. You did go to a reputable jeweler, right?" "Yep."

"Well stop worrying and go on and pop the question. Where are you going to do it?" "Over dinner Sunday night. We are going to AC this weekend." Poor guy. You would think he was going on the biggest job interview of his life. Well, maybe in a way he is. " So you are sure she will like it field?" "Yes, I am sure. Now stop worrying", I tell him. "Hey, at least if she says no, you could always return that bad bay." I try to laugh, but from the look on his face my man clearly doesn't think it's funny.

Honestly, maybe it will be best for him in the long run if she does say no.

Oh, before I go I want to give a shout out to a very talented brother, James C. Collier, over at the Acting White Blog, for hooking up my Twitter image for me. That is serious field Negro behavior.



120 comments:

Anonymous said...

Field, it sounds like the brother is under some serious stress in that relationship. If she is the type who is will laugh at him behind his back with her girlfriends, then he needs to do some serious reflecting on who he is involved with. I could be wrong, but it sounds as though she is NOT good for him.

Nevertheless, I wish him well, and a Happy Valentine's Day. I really hate to see good hearted brothers like him end up with a cold-hearted bw.

Well, if it doesn't work out, it might be a blessing in disguise.

Field, why don't you post how it turns out for the good brother?

hennasplace said...

Field:

I will help you out on the engagement ring. A man should spend two to three months of personal wages to purchase an engagement ring. Personally, I am not into engagement rings, in fact, I do not even wear a watch. As I get older, the need to have an engagement ring is not that important, a guy could give me a string of pearls and I am happy camper. I do think your friend should run to hills if the woman he wants to bethrothal is high maintenance, he will never get a moment's peace after marrying her. Some people may find the term high maintenance to mean a material woman, but emotionally toxic. Emotionally needy people will suck the life out of someone. Many women want that engagement ring because of the culture and if one really thought about it it is the modern day version of a dowry, a downpayment if you will. I think if I was having this conversation with a group of woman, they would accuse me of being matter of fact and killing the romance and to a degree they would be right.

I wonder if anyone really thinks about why the want to get marry in the first place. Do you want to have a family, financial security, companionship, etc. I am going to say this and some women are going to be upset with me, but a lot of women just think about the wedding as evident from watching Bridezella and the thought does not occur that after the party is over here comes marriage. I think marrying someone should take a great deal of thought because you are going to be living with this person possibly the rest of your life and that means accepting him or her for who and what he or she is taking the good with the bad. One should be willing to accept this person as an extension of his or her family and the possibility of taking care of this person if he or she should become ill. You are taking responsibility for another person. Marriage as Joseph Campbell said is an ordeal and is not necsessary a bad thing, but just another experience in life. Marriage is about we and the relationship and people will have do work to keep the relationship, and that is when things becomee beautifully complex.

Anonymous said...

Well said, hennasplace. But a lot of people get married for the wrong reasons. That's why there is a high divorce rate in America.

agape2010 said...

@ FN:

I didn't know that young women still sweat the men about the ring...WOW.

I know about the 4 C's but I stopped wearing diamonds years ago. Just too eighties for me (MHO).

On another note...it snowed in 49 states on Feb. 12, 2010 (all states except Hawaii).

If you're into numerology it speaks volumes...

Enjoy the valentine thing...

Peace.
~agape2010~

agape2010 said...

@ hennaplace:

I concur!

Peace.
~agape2010~

marci said...

poor guy..
poor, poor guy...
if he's sweating like that he's in the wrong place...

i agree that it would be good for him in the long run if she says no..
there's no way he'd survive a wedding...

Jackson Brown said...

I got engaged on February 1st! :)

The way to do it, if you can swing it, is to go ring shopping _with_ your soon-to-be fiancee. Doing this really demystifies the whole "2-3 month's salary" rhetoric. It's one thing to hear stories about women sporting 2.5 carat rocks, but it's quite another to see the little paper price tag tied to that ring in the display case.

Honestly, I don't own my house, so I wasn't dropping any more than 5K on a ring. And having that conversation about ring costs with my SO up front really helped.

La♥audiobooks said...

I do appreciate beautiful shiny things, but I'm not moved by blingage, or how much a ring should cost.

A ring should be a symbol of love and commitment, not future financial debt, or something to showcase with the Jones. However, I also appreciate the time, selection and the resources that a man feels is financially adequate to put into a ring, that too is a symbol.

That's what a ring means to me, not what my friends or family should say/think about it on my finger. However, as far as materials, I'm more impressed by a house, health insurance, pension plan, etc etc.

Gregory said...

Where is that anonymous asshole who posts crap like...

"A biology professor at the University of Alabama's Huntsville campus was charged with murder late Friday in the shooting deaths of three fellow biology professors at the campus."

Anyone care to guess the race of this vicious academic assassin?

As for the ring? If it is an arranged marriage then it needs to reflect your place in the socio-economic hierarchy. If the marriage is for love, between two equals, then the cost of the ring is not as important as the promise of love and the bond it symbolizes. Just my $0.02.

mellaneous said...

Field your last sentence pretty much summed this one up. And Hennasplace nailed it as well. No matter what the occassion its really difficult to escape the trappings of materialism.

Oh Field and anybody who is interested check out the picture of Jesus in last Sunday's NY Times magazine. I sure hope someone calls them on this white Jesus. The more times change the more they stay the same. And incidently the hotly debated subject that this white Jesus adorns is the question, How Christian were the Founders? I skimmed the over 800 comments and only one mentioned the problem with being a Christian nation and slave holding nation at the same time, esp. if your argument was that this is a Christian country.

here is the site address http://www.nytimes.com/2010/02/14/magazine/14texbooks-t.html

Anonymous said...

Field, thanks for mentioning James C Collier's blog, "Acting White Blog". Did you see the video of the poor black girl being beaten, kicked and her things taken while the black security officers did nothing? It is not safe to be Black anywhere, esp. among Blacks!

It's disgusting!

Gregory said...

What is it about trolls who are too lazy to even type in a fake name? Too many mouse clicks and keyboard inputs?

I guess it's true what they say about racist crackers, that they are some lazy muthafuckers.

Anonymous said...

Gregory, if you are referring to Anon1:56a, you are wrong on two counts: 1. Anon is not a troll, and 2. I is Black.

mellaneous said...

Hey Field while you were checking ut down south did you notice that the black Sgt Killings got off after running over 11 year LaKeisha White while driving twice the speed limit with no lights no siren in an unmarked car? This is the system covering for itself again. I think the charges were a bit of a fraud as well. Its pretty hard to prove reckless homocide, I think it should have been closer to manslaughter or reckless endangerment which required less of a burden of proof. It wasn't debated that he was going to fast and had not followed proper procedure. He even filed a false report. You should have seen her mother being interviewed, its heartbreaking.

The Seattle beating of one little girl by another was particular hard to watch. Where is all this viciousness coming from? And the security guards just watched. Scary stuff but violence begats violence.

Geneva Girl said...

He should have taken her shopping with him to see what she likes. He just has to be clear about his budget up front and not be allowed to be talked into major debt for a ring her girlfriends would like (most of whom probably don't have a man any way!)

When Mr. G initiated the conversation about rings he showed me a picture of a ring he liked and I said, "NO!" He then came to his senses and involved me. After all, I am the one who has to wear it for the rest of my life. We've been married ten years and I still like my ring. Now, if he'd had had the money for the two side stones.... (That was my choice though: a 1+ carat center stone or three smaller ones.)

I didn't want to be like my mother who hates her ring. No matter how many diamonds my dad tacks onto the sides, she'll never like it. (It's white gold not yellow.) Almost 50 years later and she's still ticked off.

The surprise isn't as important as making her happy. Take her shopping! If it's too late for that, don't get your feelings hurt if she wants to trade it for something she loves.

Anonymous said...

"The surprise isn't as important as making her happy. Take her shopping! If it's too late for that, don't get your feelings hurt if she wants to trade it for something she loves."

Be grateful and accept the ring he offers. Don't be an ass.

M. Rigmaiden said...

If she is petty enough to have it appraised and he is willing to be with her, they BOTH need to have their heads examined. OR homeboy needs to get up out of that relationship.

My husband bought me a very simple ring and one of my girlfriends called him out for that. I wasn't trippin'. She and her man broke up and me and my man have been together now for twelve years and married for almost nine. Rings matter naught for love FN.

dukuhead said...

i bought my wife a half carat diamond ring and after the wedding she has never worn it. not even once. she was happy enough with it though later when her friends bragged to her about their 2 carat diamond ring, well, it was me who felt it more than she did. but anyway, true love shouldn't hinge on the carat-age of your better half's wedding diamond ring. And that's my cliche of the day ;-D

Eurasian Sensation said...

2-3 months personal wages?!?!?

Good Lord.

You could feed a family of Haitians for a year on that.

I'm fortunate to have a significant other who is not into such things. I think... I'll find out when I pop the question.

field negro said...

"Field, why don't you post how it turns out for the good brother?"

I will. Please remind me. (My brain doesn't work like it used to.)

Hennasplace, did you say "three months" wages? Wow, (I am with Eurasian on this one) silly me, I thought it was more like a month's salary. So, if you make $100,000.00per year, are you telling me that you should spend almost $30,000.00for your ring, or is there some kind of sliding scale? If you make $100,000.00 and above no more than 10%.:)

"The way to do it, if you can swing it, is to go ring shopping _with_ your soon-to-be fiancee. Doing this really demystifies the whole "2-3 month's salary" rhetoric. It's one thing to hear stories about women sporting 2.5 carat rocks, but it's quite another to see the little paper price tag tied to that ring in the display case."

Jackson Brown, I like your suggestion. And congrats!

La~~,that was profound. I love when I see your sensitive side.:)

Anon 1:56 am, I saw that video, and I seriousley considered posting about it. I was more pissed at the clowns that stood by and watched what happened. Of course clowns like [un]constructive would have left twenty comments wondering why I wasn't getting on the "street pirates", and that I should leave the folks in law enforcement alone.

Mel, thanks for that link. I will check out the NY Times article.

field negro said...

Oh, and that video on Collier's blog has me seeing red for the way that our children act towards each other as well. So before the comments come later, I am saying up front that the behavior of that young lady against the other one was disgusting and ignorant.

"I bought my wife a half carat diamond ring and after the wedding she has never worn it. not even once. she was happy enough with it though later when her friends bragged to her about their 2 carat diamond ring, well, it was me who felt it more than she did. but anyway, true love shouldn't hinge on the carat-age of your better half's wedding diamond ring. And that's my cliche of the day ;-D"

dukuhead (I love that name) unfortunately that is a reality in the world that we live in. (Girlfriends talk, and they brag to each other about their rock sizes) Don't you wish that all women were like the ones who comment on this blog?:)

maria said...

he should give it to her and say, i wasn't sure what you think, we can go back together and get something you might like more. i hope what he bought is returnable, at least for store credit so he can trade it for something else.

buying jewelry is a mine-field in some marriages. when i was first married (24 years ago) i didn't get a diamond because most of the diamonds originated in s. africa, which was still under apartheid. i got a ruby instead (of known origin) and had it set in a band. my x and i picked it all out together and when it was set, he got down on his knee and asked me. it was very sweet. about 12 years later i go a gold band with two very small diamonds.

when my x cheated, left and remarried the OW, i sold all the jewelry he had given me over the years, except the ruby. i had it re-set in a solitaire setting. i thought i could still feel the love from that early period, but really, i can't.

men often buy jewelry at occasions and holidays because it's an easy thing to do but many times the woman does end up returning it because she's seen something she like more or is not her style. jewerly preference is a really personal thing. a guy might just need to get used to that. it's about wanting your man to get his money's worth--you want to wear something you'll like. not have it sit in a drawer.

if your friend is that afraid, he probably should have involved her in the decision, and yes, long term, this could be a troubled union. but who knows.

but here's a salute to young love and people who make vows. let's hope they keep them.

Mrs. Chili said...

This Chick says the ring is entirely secondary to the intent behind it. Mr. Chili could have proposed with nothing and I'd have still said yes. The ring is a symbol of the commitment, and if the commitment is treasured, so too will the ring be. I say if she bitches about the bauble, run - don't walk - in the other direction; you don't want someone like that for a wife.

Jody said...

This is one of those conversations where I find my internal temperature rising.... Must be nice to contemplate the pros and cons of what kind of ring to buy for your beloved, the anticipation of the wedding, the dreams of building a life together that the community supports.....

Those of us in the gay community are standing on the outside looking in... maybe one day that can be us, too.

MeandMyMicroscope said...

I think is silly to require a certain engagement ring and I think a man shouldn't marry a woman who requires a certain ring.

As a regular in metro DC, I rarely wear my original engagement ring. So in the end, it ended up being a bit of a waste (not investment wise though) because I rarely feel safe wearing it unless I'm at the Kennedy Center of someplace similar to that.

However after seeing the movie Blood Diamond, I asked Hubby to get an exact replica of my ring made of Asha simulated diamonds to wear everyday (and it still wasn't all that cheap, LOL). I've personally vowed against ever buying/or receiving another real diamond again. The movie was just too much for me and I want NO Parts of the diamond industry.

BroadSnark said...

Please people. Why do we need this madness? All that human effort and suffering to pull a rock out of the ground. Thousands of dollars spent for something shiny. The money some people I know have spent on rings and dresses and wedding parties could support me for a couple years (a decade in some countries). It's ridiculous.

If I were a guy and some woman insisted on a $10,000 ring that she could show off to her shallow friends, I would dump her and send the $10,000 to Haiti or maybe to buy prosthetics for some of the diamond war surviving limbless survivors in Sierra Leone.

Anonymous said...

I agree with Jody. Marriage is a luxury that excludes our LGBTQ brothers and sisters.

Anonymous said...

My wife tried to pull the Valentine's Day guilt trip on me, yesterday. "Oh, my co-workers must have felt great receiving flowers and candy. I can only image," she said.

Then I had to remind her of the $3,000 I coughed up to have her transmission replaced. Further, I had to remind her of the $5,000 I gave her to pay off her car.

And now she's tripping because I am not subscribing to the V-Day hype?

I don't fucking think so!

MeandMyMicroscope said...

Anonymous said..
I don't fucking think so!
>>>>>>>>>>>>

YIKES!!!

Well I don't care much about V-Day, it's the other 364 days of the year that have MY attention, LOL!!!!

hennasplace said...

Field:
According to the general rule, that is correct as described in your example. If a personal were bringing home $3,000 a month, it would equate to $6,000 to $9,000. Where I think the rule came was most likely driven by advertising and marketing professional to make people feel more comfortable in purchasing an engagement ring. However, it is does go by what you can afford. As I mentioned before, an engagement is a modern version of a dowdy. With a dowdy, you are saying to the family of the bethrothal a gesture that you are responsible for her, or let us call for what it is you are buying a person. I think the custom is outdated because women are working and we have to ask ourselves why we continuing with this custom that no longer fit into our modern culture. You can also give an engagement gift that does necessary have to be a diamond engagement ring. I am going to surprise all the women by saying diamonds are not my best friend. I like sapphires as it is my birthstone and blue is my favorite color. I am little pragmatic and realistic about getting engagement and having a wedding thing. This is the fairy tale some women have about weddings. I was reading a blog yesterday about a woman who had a DIY wedding and made her boutique from coffee filters and it looked great. No one would tell that the flowers were made from paper material. I talked to a couple of women in the office and set a photo, and they agreed that flowers were great, but still wanted to have real ones at their wedding. Flowers for a wedding are not cheap, and can pay at least $2,500 on the low end. We are in a recession, but when it comes to a wedding, people will still spend money on a one day event. I commend the woman who decided to make some things for her wedding because it shows independence and self-sufficiency, and a kind of a person someone would want to marry. You do not need to spend a great deal of money to have a wedding and still get the kind of day you wanted. I think it is distrubing how we allow advertisers and marketers to tell us we must have certain things and forget about doing things yourself like cook or sew on a button because you can pay someone else to do those things. Come to think of it my grandmother saved and recycled everything before it became chic to be green today. It is we know the price of everything and the value of nothing society.

hennasplace said...

Anon 11:19A:

I understand Valentine's Day does not much to you, but you do not have to buy your wife a gift. You can make her dinner, create a gift certificate saying I will give you a week's worth of massages. Just let her know that you value her and do not take for granted, and do something thoughtful that is important to her. I do not like guilt trips because they tend to backfire on the person, and I do not like tit for tat either as that causes nothing but more conflict. Be the harmonious one, and something nice or you may not sex with your wife again, lol. I am being funny, but harmony in marriage works and it is not about you or wife, but the relationship and how you want it to work.

Anonymous said...

Hennasplace, you are correct. I'll do something meaningful instead of buying into the hype.

Anonymous said...

I'm a fan of picking the ring)s) together. But I'm not hung up on expensive engagement rings and I like unusual jewelry.

Anonymous said...

As with most material possessions, the ring will weather. Silver and gold can buy you a home...but those who love Jesus know that spending a lot on a ring is ridiculous, especially when there are folks starving in Haiti.

Anonymous said...

Just a thought, guys!! If you want to "put a little back in it," try this:

http://www.craterofdiamondsstatepark.com/

Thrasher said...

This is he superior Black blog on the internet sites like "Acting White" censor comments when the poster does not agree with Collier

Undercover Black Man is not a real Black male but a poser so many of these so called Black Blogger sites leave me so empty..

FN is the gold standard by far

maria said...

hey, thrasher-- UBM is a friend of mine, and you don't know him.

and it's really low to come on to another blog and attack him. it's also pretty stupid to attack him on his own blog.

Thrasher said...

@maria,

He is no friend of mine nor am I obligated to follow your blogger rules and protocols which I find stupid....

No one censors me nor will I be censored..

You are correct I do not know any white bloggers hiding behind Blackface and posting a lot of racist contempt regarding Black folks UBM comments about Haiti were racist and I let him know in his house...

maria said...

hey, thrasher...grow up. it's not a rule, it's common decency and it's not stupid.

fact is, no one cares what you think about UBM. esp. no one on this blog. and he's written repeatedly about how fox ignored the earthquake, which led to lots of other blog's following his observation (including this one). he's black, and he's not a racist.

Anonymous said...

Maria,
Dear God stop defending people!! These are grown men you stupid twat.
Now deliver some pizzas and shut the fuck up.
And go away.

And do you think anyone cares who you are friends with?

Thrasher should kick your ass.

Thrasher said...

@maria,

It is pretty low when people are still under rubble and suffering in a earthquake that slugs like UBM hiding under black face would have the audacity to insult them with nonsense about universal education and 'rebar' when lives are at stake..

Please spare me the civility excuse on behalf of slugs like UBM he needs to get out of the linen closet and stop wearing black costumes...

Anonymous said...

no one cares what you think about UBM

great advice,,,no one cares.....remember it.

Anonymous said...

Field, "I will. Please remind me. (My brain doesn't work like it used to.)"

Don't worry, I will remind you. I really want to know how it turns out, because he sounds like a very conscientious but serious guy who needs a good hearted woman as a wife, not a gold digger.

Btw, it takes an honest man to notice that his memory isn't what it used to be. You must be near or past the half century mark.

Welcome to my world, brother. LOL
Peace.

Constructive Feedback said...

[quote]In keeping with that theme, a young fellow who is thinking of popping the question wanted to know if his engagement ring was nice enough, and he showed it to the field to get my opinion....."What do you think, field? I don't know man, she is kind of high maintenance, I don't want to come off..you know, like I am cheap."[/quote]

You sure do have some "imaginary" friends Filled Negro.

Last year it was a young Drug Dealer who you were talking to. You didn't want to sever the tentative relationship that had with him by telling him that HE is the "last mile" in the international drug trade and that thus - it did not matter that "Black people don't own no airplanes to fly the stuff into the country" - HE was the "Useful Idiot" that delivered the poison to his own people.

THIS YEAR there is a "new imaginary friend" with a BLOOD DIAMOND in his hand. Did you think to ask him if he obtained a "certificate of origin" from this piece of carbon? Was this stone taken from the Congo, found by an exploited worker who toiled in the mud yet was paid about $10 for this stone? As it passed through several hands and then exited the continent - headed for Antwerp - did someone wash the "blood" of EXPLOITATION from this stone?

Those who are affiliated with "Global Zionism" put that one stone into a bag of other stones and then sold it to a cutter who took it and separated the lot. The large stones were sent to NY for cuting. The very small ones now go to India. These small ones now make up the small diamonds that are placed around the main place setting of the central stone.

This finished product is a result of GLOBALIZATION.

Your imaginary friend is merely the "American Consumer Co-Conspirator" - the very being that Mellaneous has so much scorn for, DESPITE him lumping it upon the national trade policies.

Again you missed your opportunity to "school" a young brother you had engaged in.

You could have told him that HIS LOVE FOR A WOMAN is expressed in WHAT HE DOES and how he treats her NOT in the purchase of some material item that may or may not have had a trail of blood and tears behind it. His consciousness on the matter, as well as her's is a function of the "Capitalist Consumer Co-Conspirator Culture" that most Americans are indoctrinated with.

hennasplace said...

CF:

While I somewhat agree with the idea of how diamonds are mined, the man's bethrothal couldn't care less about the matter. It goes in line with the morality lesson if you five people one track and one person on the other track, and a train was going to kill the five people unless you pull the level, but doing so, you will kill the one person would you do it and most people would say yes, but most people would say no if the level was next to the person on the track, but the pulling the level would save the five people and kill the one. Standing next to the person you are going to kill to say the five is more difficult to do because now you have an emotional connection by being in proximity. You see the person and it become difficult to make such a decision, but it still means if you do not pull the level five people are going die. It would the logical thing to do in pulling the level and saving the five people giving the number who are going to die, but emotions do get in the way. Most people are far removed of what is going in the Congo, and are not thinking about how mining diamonds destroys lives in the region. She is that girl that dreamed about the day when a guy is going to proposed with an engagement ring. It is more about the fairy tale than reality, and you cannot always compete with that.

field negro said...

"Imaginary"? LOL! Me thinks you project too much. I have NO imaginary friends. Many real friends. (And acquaintances) I know that must be hard for the conservative to imagine, as they have no friends, and they do not live in the real world.:)

BTW, did you buy your Mrs. a diamond? You sound a little bitter there my man. And we get a lecture on consumerism and our capitalist culture from the [un]constructive one? Now that's irony. No wonder you only have "imaginary" friends.

Jody, that was a deep comment, thanks for reminding us how f*&%$d the laws in our country are when it comes to treating all people as equals.

Speaking of friends; Trasher, I met someone in D.C. who said he was UBM's cousin. He seemed like a brother to me. (A very light skinned brother, but a brother nevertheless)

"Hennasplace, you are correct. I'll do something meaningful instead of buying into the hype."

There you go Anon.

hennasplace,thanks for the education. But still....

field negro said...

BTW, [un]constructive one, that "imaginary" drug dealer is doing 5-10at SCI Fayette for gun charges and ag. assault. Yep, I bet he wishes he were "imaginary" right about now.

"My wife tried to pull the Valentine's Day guilt trip on me, yesterday. "Oh, my co-workers must have felt great receiving flowers and candy. I can only image," she said.

Then I had to remind her of the $3,000 I coughed up to have her transmission replaced. Further, I had to remind her of the $5,000 I gave her to pay off her car.

And now she's tripping because I am not subscribing to the V-Day hype?"

Now that was funny.

Constructive Feedback said...

[quote]The Seattle beating of one little girl by another was particular hard to watch. Where is all this viciousness coming from? And the security guards just watched. Scary stuff but violence begats violence.[/quote]

Mellaneous - I am stepping closer to understanding you.

The security guards, though not POLICE AUTHORITIES were performing a quasi-authority role per the responsibilities granted to them by the corporate authority of the government and/or contractor who granted them this capacity.

I wonder if YOU would be willing to work with me to develop a badge for those who's actions make them out to be "Street Pirates"?

When they violate their "service level agreement" and thus assault someone, violating another's "social justice rights" then you can join with me in pointing out how they have failed to live up to the responsibilities that the AUTHORITIES had extended to them.

I will allow you to do the design work for the badge. I will develop the contractual agreement that all of these young men must sign. They only become "street pirates" when their actions earn them such a label.

You game?

Lady-Cracker said...

It is funny where the competition is taking place with the ladies and their boyfriend/fiance/husband or between the gents with their girlfriends/fiancee/wife.

I prefer the get and give the sentimental thing that seems to mean something to the recipient. Mine has absolutely no use for cards period. I find an extra special bottle and write a short, sweet message with a kiss mark. He sees that every time, until the bottle is empty. The nice thing about Scotch is that you can get 16 year, 18, and 21 year plus bottles for a particular anniversary.

Mine was the competitive one, all I wanted was a wedding band, he was the one that wanted his "arm candy" to sparkle big time.

mellaneous said...

UnCon lets get this clear unless you muddy the water on purpose. MY PROBLEM IS NOT WITH THE WORKING CLASS CITIZENS OF THIS COUNTRY, (THERE ARE EXCEPTIONS OF COURSE) MY ISSUE IS WITH US IMPERIALISM AND IMPERIALISM IN GENERAL. while I am not a fan of consumerism for the sake of it and rampant materialism I don't see everyday people as the enemy or the real problem. So stop making up stuff.

I think most people can attest to the fact that you don't have to guess where I am coming from so stop trying to put words in my mouth. Argue my positions not your straw men.

BTW the points about blood diamonds was why I was coming on to the blog today. I agree that they should be avoided. I would like to see couples begin to get away from diamonds altogether. Unfortunately as Hennasplace pointed out many folks don't care they want the flash and the hell with who has to pay for it and that pain that it may cost someone else.

I hate to say this but I have run across quite a few middle class black woman who really are into all the trappings and could care less about the rest of the world.

When my son got married I thought of broaching this subject with him and his bride to be but I realized I could live to fight another day. It would have been ugly. Hell no matter how much I protested I still wound up spending over $100 to rent a tux even though I was just the grooms dad and not in the wedding. Yes sisters have to have all the trappings, hardships be dammned.

I just met a couple in which to wife to be got a ring that had a white sapphire in it. I couldn't tell it from a diamond. I found out they consciously avoided a diamond. Good for them, hopefully others will follow.

Lady-Cracker said...

It is funny where the competition is taking place with the ladies and their boyfriend/fiance/husband or between the gents with their girlfriends/fiancee/wife.

I prefer the get and give the sentimental thing that seems to mean something to the recipient. Mine has absolutely no use for cards period. I find an extra special bottle and write a short, sweet message with a kiss mark. He sees that every time, until the bottle is empty. The nice thing about Scotch is that you can get 16 year, 18, and 21 year plus bottles for a particular anniversary.

Mine was the competitive one, all I wanted was a wedding band, he was the one that wanted his "arm candy" to sparkle big time.

Constructive Feedback said...

[quote]Those of us in the gay community are standing on the outside looking in... maybe one day that can be us, too.
[/quote]

Why Jody. I never would have guessed it. You are a member of the GLBT community. Its so wonderful that in America you are able to express your rights to freedom of association and thus partner with whomever you choose. No overbearing theocratic dogma is allowed to deny you from what you are. This is wonderful. More people around the world have no ability to express themselves as such than do.

This is yet another set of evidence which proves that my friend Filled Negro is a better man than me. He has a community forum that prides itself on DIVERSITY among people with different backgrounds and interests.

The only people who are constantly called names and attacked for who they are are White Conservatives and Black Conservatives. In so many cases, however, they deserve to be called names because they are meanies. They indeed need to evolve. Their knuckles drag upon the ground akin to the apes of our past.


I am not clear on one point though Jody. In this country, this den of iniquity, you are not banned from purchasing a ring and giving it to your life partner. There are thousands of ladies whom have multi-carat rings stored away in a box, used as evidence of their now defunct heterosexual marriage. A ring does not a marriage make.

Neither does "official government sanction".

As the post Katrina t-shirts said "We All We Got".

I see that the authority of GOVERNMENT is the deep seeded theme for you, Mellaneous, LAC and Ernesto. Without its official seal of approval certain agreements between people are not worth as much as their own commitment to the agreement it seems.

When the authority kills - it kills the person, rendering him more dead than what an individual could ever do.

This authority having abdicated their duty to feed the masses has rendered more harm than the others in the same community who turned their backs upon the needy among them.

When this same government carries out international policy it is far more oppressive than what a collection of individuals in the other nation can do to their own. In fact the USA should have STOPPED this domestic oppression in the other nation and thus they STILL are blamed.

How is it that this government is so central in all that you do Jody?

Constructive Feedback said...

[quote]BTW, [un]constructive one, that "imaginary" drug dealer is doing 5-10at SCI Fayette for gun charges and ag. assault. Yep, I bet he wishes he were "imaginary" right about now. [/quote]

Filled Negro:

What part do you hold for having the "Prison Industrial Complex" to ensnare yet another young Brother/father of a child/staple of the community merely to PROFIT on his incarceration?

As I recall you were more fearful that by rebuking him about what he was doing to the community that your tentative relationship with him would be severed.

Now this brother is doing a bid of 5 to 10. Think of all of the SEVERED RELATIONSHIPS that will now transpire due to your silence?

* His child, for whom the illicit drug money was to purchase diapers and formula for will be about 12 years old by the time his FATHER is freed from the P.I.C.. So many formative years will have been lost due to the father's choice to sell poison to someone else's children in the community.

* His love interest will have to struggle without a second ADULT to help out in rearing and funding of the child which shares their common genetic imprint.

Thus the FATAL CYCLE WILL CONTINUE.

Indeed "Words Can Kill" but sometimes "Silence for want of FAVOR is Deadly Complicity".

Regarding my ring. Mrs Constructive Feedback indeed wears a bit of carbon upon her finger. I don't DENY being a "Capitalist Consumer Co-Conspirator" per my residency in the Belly of the Beast. I proudly proclaim my actions and I try to use this to my advantage.

A few years ago, however when Mrs CS was pressuring a brother strong for a tennis bracelet AND an "upsize on her ring" after 10 years (boy that was a new one) I found the web site (http://www.diamond-essence.com/) and bought her a tennis bracelets full of cubic zirconia. She was happy.

I do admit that I failed to verify that every employee at the firm was paid a living wage but I am sure that none were beaten while working the line. This is America after all.

Constructive Feedback said...

[quote]MY ISSUE IS WITH US IMPERIALISM AND IMPERIALISM IN GENERAL.[/quote]

Mellaneous - I must respectfully disagree with you.

Your problem is that you are able to abhor the "Imperialist/Capitalistic System Within You Live" and per your condition of INTELLECTUAL LEISURE not suffer any material consequences for your defiant stance.

You seem the type that eats "Free Range Chicken" and drinks "Fair Trade Coffee".

mellaneous said...

UnCon didn't see your other post because you ticked me off by putting words in my mouth.

Listen I find the violence among the youth in the US appalling and disturbing. I --like I am sure just about everybody else-- is bothered by street crime and violence by young blacks usually against other black youth. But I don't see how blaming the victims solves it.

I am also bothered by crime in general including domestic violence and crime and violence in general.See I believe that not paying folks enough to live on is a type of violence. I believe that overcharging folks in the hood is a type of violence. Limiting health care is a type of violence. I think that racism and sexism and even homophobia are a type of violence. Limiting opportunity is a type of violence. Police brutality is a type of violence.Occupying and conducting military operations in Afghanistan is definitely violent. Dropping bombs on the so-called enemy and civilians in Iraq, Afghanistan,Pakistan, Yemen and who knows where else is violent. Torturing folks even if the government gives permission is violent.

But you want to discuss a small part of the violence pertpetuated by folks who have been victimized on other victims.

Lets do that. But it would be foolish to focus on this one type of crime or certain kinds of criminals without addressing why this is.I mean if we are going to solve the problem we have to analyze the cause.

We can assume that they were born that way and then we can stop there.

But more likely the answers lie in environment and opportunity or the lack thereof. I think that would have to make sure these kids who have brains filled with songs filled with violence and TV shows and movies filled with violence and a government committed to violence and too often parents who resort to violence as influences in their lives.

So we have to put something in their heads to at least compete with the negative messages about violence and though you like to overlook it ,it simply cannot be and that is the gnawing feeling that most of them have that they are not respected or viewed as equal human beings by the majority in this country. (And of course that feeling is not just limited to the youth.)

So that would mean that schools would have to really educate these kids. I am talking about giving them the same educational opportunities that suburban white children get. There would have to be enough para professionals on hand to handle the problem children.

We would have to open more community institutions and have these institutions provide support systems,so that they can compete with the attraction of the gangs, whose attraction of course is the community and sense of belonging that these kids desperately seek.

We would have to enlist the support of all the community organizations including the churches. We should have the churches host dances like some used to, again the idea would be to provide alternatives to the negatives that exist in most inner city nghbds I assume thats what you are talking about.

We should enlist all adults in a program in which they volunteer to tutor, watch kids as they get off the bus, form groups to take over one corner at a time from the drug dealers. Speaking of, we should start treatment centers as well as half way houses for those returning from prison. We should have programs for the problem kids as well with the idea of giving them an opportunity to change.

mellaneous said...

cont.
I would start classes teaching young people the real history of this country as well as African and African history with the idea being they would take pride in who they are as well as knowing the truth about what they are up against. I would tell them that there are people who don't like them and see them only as niggers. I would tell them that some call them names while saying that they are on their side and don't want them to succeed and challenge them to prove them wrong. I would stress that they are children of God and that they have an obligation to make the world better and that when they are confronted with truth to act on it. I would never call them street pirates or any other perjorative, but address them by their names and treat them with respect.I would yes I would point out what the US government does in the world and its complicity in jailing black folks disproportionately, its failure to end racism and the resulting job discrimination that still occurs.

I would teach them that we are all human beings and that they should honor that brotherhood/sisterhood until someone else broke it.

I would teach them how to compete while pointing out that cooperation is better and that they should be idealist and fight for real equality and a real egalitarian society.

We should enlist the support of trained counselors and have concerned folks pair up with ex-cons as well as troubled kids that we spot. The churches could at least provide meeting space for the ex cons. and other groups that want to meet that want to get their act together.

Now the other side of this equation is that we would have to fight to make sure that we can attain the same kind of education the suburban kids get. We would have to petittion the local authorities to help us find a way to find monies for treatment and transitional programs. We would also have to press the system to help us with job creation, because we can straighten up kids all we want and talk about postives all we want but if we can't funnel them into productive opportunities it would all be a waste of time.

You see UnCon I have actually done some of this and am trying to figure out ways to save these kids rather than running around blaming them for all the problems of the world or denigrating them, while at the same time being pissed at those who give in to the easy opportunity to just not be crap. But I don't pretend that I don't understand why they do what they do. It doesn't excuse it but it helps me know that if I can just get at that cause.

I hope this makes some sense I just jotted this off the top of my head.

mellaneous said...

Uncon:
Mellaneous - I must respectfully disagree with you.

Your problem is that you are able to abhor the "Imperialist/Capitalistic System Within You Live" and per your condition of INTELLECTUAL LEISURE not suffer any material consequences for your defiant stance.

You seem the type that eats "Free Range Chicken" and drinks "Fair Trade Coffee".

Now you are telling me what I stand for. MY LEISURE IS CALLED UNEMPLOYMENT. I am taking a few classes and actually volunteering at a spiritual retreat center as I look for work and look for a ministry while also working with an anti-war group as well as a group fighting foreclosures.

There are no material rewards in my existence. You try another argument with me this one of trying to make me a bourgeosie minded black man who just has a few problems is way off. And I keep telling you who I am and you keep trying to tell me who I am. Talk about disrespect.

We simply disagree for the most part, but for the sake of argument even a rich person could disagree with the direction of the system that may enrich them. Your constant implying that folks living in a place can't criticize it betrays all of history. All reformers and revolutionaries have come out of the society they either reformed or overturned. So cut it out!

Jody said...

UnConn said:"
How is it that this government is so central in all that you do Jody?"

UnConn... surly you are not so ignorant as to not realize the state sanctioned recognition of your marriage and all that it confers on you and your Mrs? I am sure you are filing taxes about now... how about the married filing jointly? Or how about if anything happens to you... and survivor benefits for your spouse? including your social security? Or, if you are really sick, will your wife automatically be consulted for your care? be allowed in the ICU to stay with you? Or how about the fact that your marriage is legal, sanctioned, supported, encouraged and approved as a social unit that creates stablility in your community.... Well UnConn... NONE of these things are available to me.... THAT is why it matters.

The Angry Independent said...

Unfortunately most women are fickle gold diggers on some level, just like this woman. That's why i'm single and choose not to participate in dating...at least for now. They are empty vessels who judge mates almost exclusively in terms of money, possessions, etc. Reading this reminds me of the ABC feature a few weeks back regarding so many women (BLACK women) being single. I commented on that story and raised some of the same questions because this issue immediately jumped out at me. It appears as if this woman fits the same mold as the selfish narcissistic women in the ABC piece. I steer clear of these hollow shells at all costs.

I can't stand the whole bling culture, or the wider culture (esp. the Black culture) that feeds it. So in turn, I end up detesting women who I even suspect of being into that lifestyle.

I would much rather have an educated plain Jane who makes me happy...and whose company I enjoy. Someone who isn't fixated on brand names, money, how much I have, or any other sort of Hollywood style Bull----. Someone who puts character before money. (I have yet to see a Black woman who does this and I don't expect to).

It's almost unheard of to find that in today's society... and it's even worse if you're a Black man and stuck with what the choices are in that pool. (Thanks a lot God). Basically for me there are no choices. Being Black is like having a horrible chronic illness. Fucks up every part of your life.

Yet there are some men, like the one mentioned, who feel that they have no choice but to deal with this kind of insanity. They will do anything for a piece. And let's be clear.... most of these relationships are basically nothing more than prostitution... arrangements of convenience. It's just prostitution in a different form.

More power to him for even putting up with it. I wouldn't and couldn't do it. That entire mentality and world view pisses me off. I have no patience for it.

field negro said...

Mel.why even bother? You will get nowhere with th e[un]constructive one. He strongly believes that he controls "the beast", and we are just in it's belly with our "imaginary" friends.

You will never change him. Still, I enjoy the debate. :)

field negro said...

"UnConn... surly you are not so ignorant as to not realize the state sanctioned recognition of your marriage and all that it confers on you and your Mrs?
Well....

AI, hang in there, you are a good brother. I bet there is someone reading right now who would like to make a "love connection".

If there is such a poster or lurker out there, shoot me an e-mail so that I can link you up with a good Midwestern brother.

AI, you can thank me later. :)

The Angry Independent said...

LOL

I see you are wearing your comedian hat this evening Field. Vely vely funny.

But no.... i'm not looking for a love connection. I could use a money connection though. Speaking of money.

Anonymous said...

Well Jody, no one even stopped to think about our statements, or stopped thinking of themselves long enough to even respond. It's all about them, their rings, etc.

Except, FN, thanks man.

StillaPanther2 said...

brother Field.. women will get attached to whatever she accepts from he5r intended. One thing about it she will still be wearing/holding it,the ring, longgg after her now friends are gone. The ring is just a bond that reminds one daily that you are joined in a life's journey. Many times I beggg Mrs.Panther to "upgrade"...but she wants to wear and hold on to the ring I gave shortly after my tour in the Army...1972. That ring has been in some of the bad and good of her and my life. Tell your friend that the ring is really secondary...his heart and devotion is FIRST.

StillaPanther2 said...

Brother Field..Happy Valentine day to you and the wife.

field negro said...

StillaPanther2, same to you my brother.

AI, WTF? Who is that brotha you in your link? I think you are the one being funny tonight. :)

The Angry Independent said...

That would be Lee Fields. Bad dude... Better get hip Field. :O)

Anonymous said...

I agree with you. You have spoken volumes what a lot of folks probably have been thinking and feeling.

Anonymous said...

@Field, since you are playing match maker for AI, introduce him to Fp.:D

Constructive Feedback said...

[quote]I --like I am sure just about everybody else-- is bothered by street crime and violence by young blacks usually against other black youth. But I don't see how blaming the victims solves it.[/quote]

Mellaneous:

I AM NOT "Blaming The Victims". I stand FOR THE VICTIMS. The Street Pirate Attacks that they suffer cannot be tolerated.

I have a full video library where Black women appear on television saying "I DON'T FEEL SAFE AROUND HERE AND I AM LOOKING TO MOVE AWAY".

They are NOT talking about some Republican breaking into their window and assaulting them.

They are NOT talking about a policeman tasering them, shooting them in the back and then letting out a jolt.

They are NOT talking about a Corporation or Bank lurking behind the bushes and getting them to sign a contract that steals their money.

THEY ARE TALKING ABOUT THE ASSAULT FROM STREET PIRATES!!!!!

Ironically I focus more on the REGISTERED THREATS to the Black community than does the entire swarm of AfroSpear blogs combined. For them THERE IS NO PROFIT in focusing on that which would CONDEMN the machine that they seek to empower.


I am also bothered by crime in general including domestic violence and crime and violence in general.See I believe that not paying folks enough to live on is a type of violence.

Mellaneous: WHO is this agent that should PAY SOMEONE this LIVING WAGE that you speak of?

ARE YOU as a consumer willing to pay for the added costs of your BigMac or Hot Wings that is commensurate with this living wage that you say will reduce the violence?

I believe that overcharging folks in the hood is a type of violence.

What YOU call "over charging" is in truth LACK OF COMPETITION. That grocery store that "over charges" is merely able to do this because this market cannot bear a second competitor. Ironically you no doubt attack WalMart for prices that are too low which drive other competitors out of business.

What about the cost of INSURING a business in the hood? In the ATL the "Smash and Grab" robberies which translates into a $8000 insurance claim results in an INCREASE IN THE COST OF DOING BUSINESS. This is borne by the customer.

Limiting health care is a type of violence.
Limiting Health Care? Please define who this OPPRESSOR of Health Care is that is doing so?

WHO is failing to produce enough trained medical professionals that are willing to set up medical offices where there is abundant need?

Go look at various hospitals who's patient register tips into more government paid clients than private insurance. THEN you see the downside to the cost controls upon Medicare/Medicaid. (Southwest Atlanta Medical Center is now CLOSED because of this)

I think that racism and sexism and even homophobia are a type of violence.

This would be an ironic change for you. Whereas most other points of disagreement with you are focused on GOVERNMENT - this would be the first in which INDIVIDUALS and their offenses are considered "violent" by you.

Constructive Feedback said...

Limiting opportunity is a type of violence.

Limiting Opportunity????
Mellaneous - What if the aggregate set of actions by a COMMUNITY OF EQUAL HUMAN BEINGS who are bound by a particular set of thoughts and norms function to channel the results from this community toward a certain end? What if they focus more on DEMANDING Social Justice from the OUTSIDE than they do keeping their INTERNAL HUMAN RESOURCES in line socially, culturally and academically toward a more productive end? WHO IS THE "VIOLENT ASSAILANT" upon these people Mellaneous?

Police brutality is a type of violence

Indeed it is. They receive training, rules of engagement and non-lethal weapons, all with the goal of reducing their exposure to MASSIVE LAWSUITS.

Mellaneous - what of the Street Pirate? Is "Street Pirate Brutality a type of VIOLENCE" in your mind? WHAT training does he receive? WHO pays if he is sued for his assault?

Do you see how so much of your "struggle" is against Windmills rather than against "inner-space"?

Constructive Feedback said...

[quote]UnConn... surly you are not so ignorant as to not realize the state sanctioned recognition of your marriage and all that it confers on you and your Mrs?[/quote]

Jody:

Do you recall ever calling one of the criminal defendants that you advocate for "IGNORANT"? Or do you think that, unlike me - they are unable to suffer from such an attack upon their person?


[quote]I am sure you are filing taxes about now... how about the married filing jointly?[/quote]

Jody's Point #1: Marriage Rights Have The Benefit Of Government Tax Reduction When Filing Jointly
(as long as the couple is not super wealthy - they should receive tax treatment)

[quote] Or how about if anything happens to you... and survivor benefits for your spouse? including your social security?[/quote]

Jody's Point #2: Marriage Rights Have Government Entitlement Benefits.

[quote] Or, if you are really sick, will your wife automatically be consulted for your care? be allowed in the ICU to stay with you? [/quote]

Jody's Point #3: Marriage Rights Confers upon a partner the right to make medical decisions

[quote]
Or how about the fact that your marriage is legal, sanctioned, supported, encouraged and approved as a social unit that creates stablility in your community....
[/quote]

Jody's Point #4: Marriage has a stabilizing effect on society.

QUESTION JODY - I am sure you believe in compulsory education because of its "stabilizing effect on society". WHAT is your view on the promotion of marriage as a means of addressing our societal problems - particularly with the people that you deal with per your advocacy?

In this case I am talking about a CULTURALLY based drive to "slow people's roll". Promoting relationships and the bond that must be respected over "serial pursuits of selfish pleasures".
Jody - WOULD YOU SUPPORT the yielding of your theoretical "personal freedoms" for the benefit of MARRIAGE PROMOTION - for societal stabilization benefits?

La♥audiobooks said...

"They are empty vessels who judge mates almost exclusively in terms of money, possessions, etc. Reading this reminds me of the ABC feature a few weeks back regarding so many women (BLACK women) being single."

Why is it understandable for white and non-black females to look for "financial security" in a man, but when black females do it they're "golddigers"?

Angry Independent, you are full of shit. I am sick and tired of black males like you calling black women "golddiggers" when many of you don't even have gold laying around for a fucking cat to dig up. Who invented and perfected the art of golddigging and worshiping big nice shinning rings on their fingers? It sure wasn't black females.

And furthermore, that's not WHY so many black women are single. Don't make me go there. How can they "dig for gold" visiting so many black men in those prisons and criminal institution centers? Or dig around the many black men who worship white flesh, or didn't go to college and ended up working at/as______?

"and it's even worse if you're a Black man and stuck with what the choices are in that pool. "

You have some nerve. Black females are the ones who actually have the smaller pool, especially if they think their pool of men can only be found in the black community.


Angry Independent, you sound like a selfish miser. Maybe one of those single men who uses sheets for their bedroom curtains and split the toilet paper. One of those men who leech on women, or look for a "plain Jane" so you don't have to spend a dime on her, but make her stay home and cook. A Jane who you can split the household bills down the middle to save you more money, keep her from affording to look any different, and keep male competition away.

Then you'll have the audacity to turn around and drool at other women who indulge themselves in appearance. Now when you finally become more secure in the relationship, you end up resenting Jane for not applying herself in visual appeal like the other women, or so that other men can now gawk at what you've obtained.

If by now you don't know the difference between a woman wanting "bling" and others wanting financial security in this world and economy today, then do ALL women a favor, stay single, angry and independent. In fact, go search for that "plain Jane" over the rainbow, because that's where you always wanted to look in the first place. Just leave black females out of your sexist slandering to justify your own miserly and white flesh worshiping agenda.


And furthermore, I didn't say all black men are like this!

MeandMyMicroscope said...

La♥audiobooks said...
Why is it understandable for white and non-black females to look for "financial security" in a man, but when black females do it they're "golddigers"?
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

Yeah, brotha's I'mma need ya'll to answer this one my damn self!!!!!

The thing is that relationships can often be a catch 22 for Black men. Black men who treat Black women well are told as I was in a previous post, "we don't need Black men to lift us up, we can up ourselves". Then this same BW will sit back and complain when the BM "lifts" up women from different races".

I say you can't have it both ways and not expect the brotha's to give up on BW in frustration.

Jody said...

UnConn.. you evaded my points about LEGAL rights with a question about cultural/social pressures... I will not answer you until you answer me.

La♥audiobooks said...

Fly, you need to stop trying to uplift and self-elevate yourself through lies on the internet.

Something tells me the black females he's referring to are the ones who behave similar to you. If I have to quote half the bubble-head and "ghetto" unrefined nonsense someone of your so claimed professional caliber have spewed on this blog, I would be here all day. You are a fraud, a phony and a celebrated dim witted ass.

Anonymous said...

MeandMyMicroscope, "Black men who treat Black women well are told as I was in a previous post, "we don't need Black men to lift us up, we can up ourselves". Then this same BW will sit back and complain when the BM "lifts" up women from different races"."

Thanks for speaking the truth. Thank you.

HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY to you and your husband.

Anonymous said...

Marriage is a basic civil right, to deny it to a portion of the populations is wrong. Period.

MeandMyMicroscope said...

LaBitch,

You're lonely, d*ckless, loveless, alone, and bitter because you don't know shit about how to treat or talk to people. You go on these unprovoked, mean spirited rampages against successful, attractive, well paid, educated, Black women that a man of ANY race can see from 1000K miles away, then you wonder why you're alone.

Well I know EXACTLY why no man wants you and truth be told, so do you.

So sit behind your computer screen and call me every damn thing on the planet and enjoy yourself, you jealous shrew. I'll end my day pretty much as I started it, looking at the most beautiful long stem roses you've every seen, laid next to the most beautiful, finest, most educated, well paid, BUCK NAKED Black man you've every seen!

Toodles Bee-otch!!!

MeandMyMicroscope said...

Anonymous said...
Thanks for speaking the truth. Thank you.
HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY to you and your husband.
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

Thanks Anon!! Happy V-Day to you and yours too!!!

La♥audiobooks said...

"we don't need Black men to lift us up, we can up ourselves""

Furthermore, what black female on what other post said that statement? Why don't you call names? Why can't you back up your lies?

Look at how many times anony posters have insulted you on this blog. If that wasn't you yourself posting as an anony above, you should notice how it took a stroke of their egos in order for one to pat you on the back, or to finally say something respectable to you.

You need to stop your flip flopping back peddling and find a clue!

field negro said...

OK AI, I think we can scratch La~ off the list for a potential match for you.:)

Oh my. This matchmaking thing is harder than I thought.

"UnConn.. you evaded my points about LEGAL rights with a question about cultural/social pressures... I will not answer you until you answer me."

UTS is right about this guy Jody, he will not. I think it will be just more of the same.

La♥audiobooks said...

Fly, you have proven my point. A rabbit could sense a trap better than you can.

And with all the boosting and self-elevating you do on this blog for attention, I'm convinced you're apart of that very bling, and taking dick all day culture that AI was referring to. Perhaps I should eat my crow and sympathize with him.

MeandMyMicroscope said...

LaBitch,

No wonder you like audio books. YOUR DUMB ASS CAN'T READ!!!!

Get a dictionary and look up the words want and need. Just because I don't need a Black man to lift me up doesn't mean I don't appreciate it when he does. But most importantly, I WANT and ALLOW him to do that for me because it reaffirms his sense of manhood. Damn "you STUPID", and I'm wasting my time even talking to you.

BTW, the only one posting as Anon around here are psycho trolls like YOU who can't stand behind their own words!! IP addy check can confirm that!

And for future reference, don't let that white coat I'm wearing in that picture fool you, I WILL dig in that ass again if you step to me with this senseless bullshit again!

Now I have to go serve my family their breakfast yeah Bitch I said serve, and neither my education/paycheck OR self-esteem suffer because I do that!!! And guess what else, I'm still the Lab Director too!

Anonymous said...

Field, "OK AI, I think we can scratch La~ off the list for a potential match for you.:)"

ROFLMAO. Field, you are funny. you must have a very limited list for AI. it sounds like the kind of list that will convince AI that he has been right, all along.

i knew if La showed today it would be like Al Capone and his boys showing up on valentine's day...no love, just a St Valentine's massacre. LOL


"It's almost unheard of to find that in today's society... and it's even worse if you're a Black man and stuck with what the choices are in that pool. (Thanks a lot God). Basically for me there are no choices. Being Black is like having a horrible chronic illness. Fucks up every part of your life." --The Angry Independent

i think this should be posted in your sidebar because for a lot of bm it is profoundly true. La's vicious attack proves AI's point.

anyway, HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY, and thanks for the many great posts.

Anonymous said...

Here is the entire passage, in which Fly states that it is the job of the BM to lift up the BW, and then she runs off to the kitchen, again.

BTW, I am not a BW. And I think it's appalling that Angry I get just slam all black women as worthless and only ONE has the courage to say FUCK YOU!


MeandMyMicroscope said...
As a person heavily involved in academe, I'm first gonna have a to give a HUGE shot out to AnonProf. Tenure ain't the easiest thing in the world to get!!! And thanks for the laughs! I really needed it after a hard day in the lab!

Now for Maria. Tis, tis, tis, you STILL haven't learned that educated Black women have made tearing in your ass sport around here, LOL!!! And for the one millionth time, NO ONE SEES YOUR ITALIAN ASS AS WHITE, N*gga with a pizza was the slur I've heard, LOL!!!!

As for Myers comments, blah, blah, blah, I don't think he's racist but I do think his penis comment was foul. Someone said it was open season on defaming Black women and I agree. But lifting Black women up is the job of the Black man and to a lesser degree, Black women themselves.

Finally, I obviously don't have any problem with the written N-word, but don't use the term otherwise.

8:56 PM

Anonymous said...
MeandMyMicroscope said... lifting Black women up is the job of the Black man and to a lesser degree, Black women themselves. 


Now THAT explains a lot. You think men are supposed to lift you up? Sad. Hope you don't have any daughters (or any sons for that matter. What a terrible false burden and victim mentality).
10:38 PM




MeandMyMicroscope said...
Anonymous said...
Now THAT explains a lot. You think men are supposed to lift you up? Sad. Hope you don't have any daughters (or any sons for that matter. What a terrible false burden and victim mentality)
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

OF COURSE, Black men should lift us up, mentally, physically (watch out there now, LOL) and spiritually. This ain't got shit to do with being a victim thats simply a cop out for why YOU may have failed when it comes to love and relationships.

I KNOW what's it's like to be well loved by Black men, yeah that's plural and what can I say, I've had options, LOL!! More than that, I KNOW how the love from a Black man manifests itself with the same "perks" other women enjoy which include being "lifted" up!!!

What I think is sad, particularity if you are a Black woman, is that your standards for how you should be treated are so damn low. Yet, so many Black women wonder why they aren't treated well by Black men? Start by changing your attitude and add a HUGE dose of self-esteem!!!!

So if there's anyone I'm hoping doesn't have double X chromosomes as offspring, it's folks like yourself! Matter of fact, which don't you just get your tubes tied!!!

Still waters, I'm watching you, LOL!!!
11:29 PM

Anonymous said...

Anonymous said...
My standards are not low, yours are. I've said nothing of my attitude to indicate it needs to "change." You need to stand on your own. YOU are responsible for yourself. No one else--and you're the definition of low self-esteem.
11:40 PM

MeandMyMicroscope said...
Anonymous said...
My standards are not low, yours are. I've said nothing of my attitude to indicate it needs to "change." You need to stand on your own. YOU are responsible for yourself. 
>>>>>>>>



It's a shame you've taken the meaning of "stand on your own" to mean "stand alone", which I'm certain men read from you from 10 miles away. Of course Strong Black Man (SBM) wants a woman that can stand alone, but what he does NOT want is a woman reminding him at every opportunity that she can!!!

For now, we'll have to agree to disagree. Meanwhile, I have to cook breakfast for my family before going into to the lab to make up for last weeks weather, which BTW is how a Strong Black Woman rolls, LOL!!!

La♥audiobooks said...

"No wonder you like audio books. YOUR DUMB ASS CAN'T READ!!!!"

It affords me the freedom to do other important things, while I enjoy a good book being read to me. Freedom to do things I don't need to boast about on the internet.

"Just because I don't need a Black man to lift me up doesn't mean I don't appreciate it when he does. But most importantly, I WANT and ALLOW him to do that for me because it reaffirms his sense of manhood."

I've read this exact statement from other places on the internet, I know you were not able to come up with it on your own. Where is all of this coming from? Who's arguing with you on this aspect? Fly, you were the one who took it upon yourself to attack my comment that wasn't even directed to you.

"BTW, the only one posting as Anon around here are psycho trolls like YOU who can't stand behind their own words!! IP addy check can confirm that!"

If you don't know how basic technology works or how it's arranged even on a blogspot.com/google inc. platform, you should refrain from speaking on such things. You will not impress those who know better. For all I know you could be that anony who keeps insisting that I'm "manless", just because I don't culturally speak on taking "big dicks" and verbally boost my feminine worth by what type of man I keep in my bed.

"don't let that white coat I'm wearing in that picture fool you, I WILL dig in that ass again if you step to me with this senseless bullshit again!"

That's if you're even showcasing that photo as your own legally. Has it darned on you that many of us on this blog might be wearing "white coats" or black robes on a daily basis? I guess you'll have to find a new game. And no need to dig in anyone's ass, I'm sure they wrap their stool samples neatly in that container for you dig into already. I know this because my neighbor's daughter works part -time in a small unkept clinic lab like yours while preparing urine and stool samples, she's in highschool.

"Now I have to go serve my family their breakfast yeah Bitch I said serve"

Well don't let me take you away from your serving, you were the one who came online as your first priority. But you know what, he should have been the one to serve you breakfast in bed already on this "special day", it shouldn't have taken away from his education/paycheck or self-esteem. But enjoy your roses and the naked buck, that's all you're good for with your foul mouth.

I'm not even mad at you. You boast too much, and you're not fooling anyone.

MeandMyMicroscope said...

Maria AKA previous 2 Anons, I know a good Psychiatrist I can recommend for you in metro DC, because you have obviously lost it, LOL!!

La♥audiobooks said...

Anony 11:45 pm, thank you for all of that. It was interesting.

You know, I might be a bitch, but I'll at least be a consistent bitch.

MeandMyMicroscope said...

La♥audiobooks said...
Has it darned on you that many of us on this blog might be wearing "white coats" or black robes on a daily basis?
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

You know La-Need-A-Man, nothing "darns" on me at all, ROTFLMBAO!!!

Now I feel sorry for you. It's one thing to live a sexless existence when you crave it, but you've gone from being stupid about BM and relationships to just plain "ig-nant".

Send me an address so I can send you my daughters old Dr. Seuss books. And you may want to try to actually READ a book instead of surfing the internet for blogs to disparage BM. You are pitiful!

Constructive Feedback said...

If Filled Negro knows anything it is "more of the same".

[quote]UnConn.. you evaded my points about LEGAL rights with a question about cultural/social pressures... I will not answer you until you answer me.[/quote]

Jody:

Just imagine all of the "relationships" between people that are being "illegally" repressed today per these "repressive" social/cultural norms that you speak of Jody.

Per your legal wonksmanship you are going to cure us all of this bigoted Judeo-Christian standard.

Just think Jody - all that stands in your way in overturning this multi-millennial ordering of society is for you to find a panel of judges who agree with you that:

* You have a right to file your taxes jointly

* You have a right to survivors benefits

* You have a right to be consulted for medical care

* You have a right for the GOVERNMENT to sanction your relationship and from which will come STABILITY in the GLBT community

It seems clear to me that those paternalists who created this Judeo-Christian standard and had the audacity to limit their notions of "approved relationships" to that of people with complimentary genitalia AND - JUST ONE OF THEM EACH on top of that were bigoted and had no idea about all of the entitlements they would later rob law abiding Americans of a few thousand years hence.

I wonder what they were thinking when they designed these oppressive societal norms.

How could they be so selfish and shortsighted?

Thank goodness that the United States of America has the POWER to dispense of such foolishness. :-/

La♥audiobooks said...

Fly, you really need to stop. You are such a treacherous poser, it makes no sense to engage you. But I'm inclined to suspect that you're the one who doesn't possess a meaningful relationship with a man, just like all the other things you shamelessly boast about.

And by looking at the background of that "lab" photo, I can tell it's nothing near sophistication where it would have a budget to pay anyone a six figure salary as you have also claimed. You keep revealing more of your lies and internal yearnings, therefore, the pity falls on you.

Anonymous said...

And by looking at the background of that "lab" photo, I can tell it's nothing near sophistication where it would have a budget to pay anyone a six figure salary
___________________________________________________

I remember when fly said she don't need us blackmen cause she makes 200k, I was thinking the same thing looking at that pic. hey its better than that nasty booty pic she had up.

Constructive Feedback said...

Jody:

I "showed you mine" with my last post.
You promised to "show me yours".

In summary THE LAW and THE CULTURE are intractably related.

Show me a nation that has its LAW severely misaligned with its CULTURE (or even human nature) and I will show you an oppressive nation. (ie: people are not like ants. To get them to work in such a mind-numbed way the government must beat their individuality out of them)

Rottnkid said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Anonymous said...

CF "Show me a nation that has its LAW severely misaligned with its CULTURE (or even human nature) and I will show you an oppressive nation. (ie: people are not like ants. To get them to work in such a mind-numbed way the government must beat their individuality out of them)"

Beautifully said. I believe you have silenced Jody.

Temple said...

AngryIndependent,
Here are some black women who made their own gold: Angela Nissel (author/producer), L. A. Banks (author), Monique (actress/comedienne), Whoopi (actress/comedienne), Condoleeza Rice (former SOS), Jada Pinkett (actress/producer), Halle Berry (actress/producer), Tananarive Due (author), Regina Benjamin (U.S. Surgeon General), Toni Morrison (author-Nobel & Pulitzer prize winner), Oprah.

And some black women who got their gold by gold digging ...blink...blink.

Anonymous said...

"And by looking at the background of that "lab" photo, I can tell it's nothing near sophistication where it would have a budget to pay anyone a six figure salary as you have also claimed."

((((LOL))))

Anonymous said...

"And by looking at the background of that "lab" photo, I can tell it's nothing near sophistication where it would have a budget to pay anyone a six figure salary as you have also claimed."

It is astonishing that some folks like you don't understand the importance of people in research and the money they can make.

You show your ignorance, jealousy and stupidity. You hate being who you are, don't you?

MeandMyMicroscope said...

LaIdiot, I KNOW you don't think I'm about to defend a damn thing to YOU???

Yeah, hold your breath waiting on on that shit, and someone will be burying your ass in a piano size casket in about a week, LOL!!!

Beethoven anyone, LOL???

MeandMyMicroscope said...

Da, Da, Da, Daaaaaaaaaaaaa..........Da, Da, Da, Daaaaaaaaaaaaa, LOL!!!!

focusedpurpose said...

the four c's are color, cut, clarity, and carat. i like diamonds. africans will continue to suffer, much like bfolks in this country and around the world, until they/we learn to work together and look out for one another. how africans allow a handfull of white folks to show up and run stuff STILL bewilders me. colonization like slavery could not have been so successful without the participation and cooperation of other blacks. so, in the interim, i am wearing my diamonds. those i purchse for myself and those that are given to me. i.am.not.sorry.

based on what did folks decide the woman in this piece was a black woman? how did this become a new reason and excuse to bash bw? where are all you folks that know so many good bm? do ya'll know any decent bw? silence...

La-

i don't know if you remember, but the one you are arguing with gave up on bw awhile ago. she is very male identified and prone to low class, ghetto, profane fits. why argue with her?

it is not a good look sis. rise above it.

somewhere i read that if one argues with a fool it will be difficult to discern which, in fact, is the fool.

@ Anon that wants to set me up with the angry guy that hates being black and all things black, again, i am taken. i don't date folks that don't like bw either. so hooking me up with the angry broke guy that resents women for wanting provision and protection, since it highlights his inadequacies in those areas, would not ever work. thanks.

where is your righteous indignation, ladyboy, that he would act as if ALL bw are what he describes? hmmmm?

it is ok, i don't look for ladyboys to be righteous or act as men. now run along and play. i don't suffer fools gladly.

-fp

MeandMyMicroscope said...

focusedpurpose said...
the four c's are color, cut, clarity, and carat. i like diamonds. so, in the interim, i am wearing my diamonds. those i purchse for myself and those that are given to me. i.am.not.sorry.
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
According to your avatar, you have hair of wool and skin of sable yet you BRAG about diamonds, an industry which kills and disables those with hair of wool and skin the color of sable? PATHETIC!!!!

But you're right, with that pathethic ass tirade about YOUR diamonds, you're NOT sorry, you're a sorry motherf*&^er!!!!

focusedpurpose said...

i am not bragging about anything. i am reserving the right to like what i like without asking permission nor apologizing. i.REALLY.am.not.sorry.

you have given up on bw yet you want to save the continent of africa? okey doke. knock yourself out. life is about choices.

i told you before i don't do low class, vulgar, course, profane, unlady-like, ghetto scenes. i STILL mean that. so run along now. bw that have bought into the vh1, low class, ghetto, caricature of a bw, and act accordingly make me tired. yawn. they usually accuse me of thinking i am better than them and that behavior. i am. now watch me be better, more disciplined and bigger than that. i invite you not to hate, but to congratulate and emulate. it will help you come up:-)

-fp

focusedpurpose said...

coarse. in a a bit of a hurry.

La♥audiobooks said...

Hey FP, your advice is well noted. I did some reflection and made that decision last evening. It's so easy to get blindsided with frustration and end up sinking low to the levels of others.

"africans will continue to suffer, much like bfolks in this country and around the world, until they/we learn to work together and look out for one another. how africans allow a handfull of white folks to show up and run stuff STILL bewilders me. "

FP, I've always felt that it was a crying shame we have to disconnect ourselves from the beauty/worth of diamonds and other African resources because of suffering black African people. Why are black African people still allowing themselves to suffer? Why should black African people be suffering instead of profiting? The mass rape of Africa will always continue until black African people collectively learn to work together and stop enabling the few who make self-serving contracts in-bed with their European and Asian oppressors.

Sis, continue to voice your opinions and perspectives, they are well appreciated.

focusedpurpose said...

i got nothing but love for you La.

your voice, courage, straight no chaser approach is appreciated as well.

blessings sis,
-fp

MeandMyMicroscope said...

focusedpurpose said...
i told you before i don't do low class, vulgar, course, profane, unlady-like, ghetto scenes.i invite you not to hate, but to congratulate and emulate. it will help you come up:-)
>>>>>>>>>>>>

Given that you're 10 feet under a 20 foot deep water well, I couldn't come up to your "level" if I tried.

You see I'm wise enough to know the vernacular a person chooses to use doesn't make a person. What they DO makes a person, so you sit back with your ignorant ass talking shit about wearing diamonds which is beyond ignorant.

Newsflash, ALL the checking of dumb asses like YOU that I do on the net won't cause a kid to loose a limb looking for diamonds so your big black ass can look good with your "bling".

People like YOU make people like Frank D look like a saint. One can understand the contempt a white man shows for Blacks but YOU, bragging about wearing diamonds is so "house nigga" it isn't funny!! Then you have the nerve to call someone out about class? A royal man hating witch like you wouldn't know class if someone put it on the end of a penis and showed it to you!

MeandMyMicroscope said...

With that said, I'm DONE addressing you manless, hateful, ignorant, ol' bitties!

Anonymous said...

Only low esteem oversexed bw talk about dicks and penises as much as you. give it a rest.

Lady-Cracker said...

"Hetero privilege" like "white privilege" can be invisible to the beneficiaries of that privilege.

For most of the people in this country just living here is really living better than we could live in most other places. It may not be much of a job, digging for diamonds, but it is a job. If we keep whacking at the injustices here and there, we will eventually make a difference for the better.

Anonymous said...

Fp "@ Anon that wants to set me up with the angry guy that hates being black and all things black, again, i am taken. i don't date folks that don't like bw either. so hooking me up with the angry broke guy that resents women for wanting provision and protection, since it highlights his inadequacies in those areas, would not ever work. thanks."

You have no sense of humor, girl. LOL Emotionally stunted girls like yourself are so serious.lol

Like Field said, AI is a good man and a decent human being. He is not at all who you make him out to be. And he is not broke, either.

Your hatred of bm is bubbling up and clouding your judgment again.
But keep the faith, angry confused one. Maybe someday life will get better for you.

I am concerned about your frame of mind and your emotional state, because you have stopped ending your posts with "Blessings".

Have you turned on God too? :D

Anonymous said...

"Like Field said, AI is a good man and a decent human being. He is not at all who you make him out to be. And he is not broke, either"

Then go and add yourself to the list pool.

Anonymous said...

anon6:20a "Then go and add yourself to the list pool."

????????????

focusedpurpose said...

well...

...i guess you told me! lol!

were you doing the neck thing too while you were typing? lol! stereotypes come from somewhere and you demonstrate pretty routinely that there are females out there, well into their forties that still don't understand the importance of carrying themselves well at all times. your mouth is filthy and clearly lady-like is a social construct you have rejected.

as i said on another thread, when oppressed folks fight among themselves all they ensure is their continued oppression. as such, i decline invitations to act a fool and fight with misguided females that think they must run out to fight other folks' battles, or allow themselves to be used to further other folks' agendas. so, microscope female, knock yourself out. act a fool all you wish. run tell pookie nem that fp won't fight with you...

for the record and your clarity, i was not bragging about anything. i simply said that i like diamonds and will continue to wear them, those i purchase and the ones that are given to me.

microscope female, weren't you the one talking about your asha simulated diamonds not being cheap? if anyone was bragging or even remotely close to it, that would be you.

if i told you i were vegetarian, would you say i were bragging as well? i don't get that logic. but then, i don't get females like you at all.

microscope female, you have permission to have the last word.

Anon-

run and play with the other children. i don't have time. mmmkay? didn't i tell you that before? what do you not get? if i am not into bickering and arguing with females, WHY would you think i would do that with a lady boy male?

i have a great sense of humor. when you see "lol" in my comments, that is precisely what i am doing-laughing out loud. i find the comments here pretty funny, enlightening at times, predictable at others---like the bw bashing that only LA addressed on this post, and rude at other times. please don't mistake my not thinking you funny as a lack of humor.

-fp

Anonymous said...

Fp, what happened to ending your posts with, "Blessings"? Have you lost your serenity and peace of mind? From your comments you sound very sad and angry even though you write "lol"... You remind me of Smokey Robinson's "Tears of a Clown".

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E2E_RSJAhYU

I feel badly that you have no peace because you never found your black knight in shining armor.

Are you able to sleep at night? What kind of pills are you taking?

focusedpurpose said...

Anon-

still... run along and play with the other children.

you speak like a child. when i was i child, i spoke the same way. when i became an adult i put away childish things.

there are no knights in shining armor of any color. there are just men complete with flaws. maybe you should put away your harlequin romances?

if one is in need of saving they should call upon their Creator. bm, historically AND presently are doing a VEEEEEEERY poor job saving themselves, collectively speaking, so ANY bw, in a holding pattern believing there is one out there coming to save her will...die.

go taunt a man, ladyboy. i have no interest in engaging you. if you scroll up you will see that i still end posts as i always have, at times. other times, not so much. why are you so busy tripping, begging of my attention? shoo. go play. i won't tell you again. so relish that last time. mmmkay?

BLESSINGS ANON NOW GO.AWAY.
lol!
-fp

Anonymous said...

Fp, lol. you are one sick lonely immature insecure human. Still looking for your daddy and angry because you can't find him? How many times must I TELL YOU that you are much too old to be looking for a daddy...lol..lol

BM want a woman to enhance and enrich their lives, not a little girl who wants to bring them down and suck the life out of them.

Seriously, Fp. How did you end up in such dark hopelessness where life has become meaningless for you? I now understand why you are so angry and resentful of bw who love bm. You are also jealous but too dissociated from your self and the human race to know it.

LOL I believe that your greatest fear has become a self-fulfilling prophecy right here on FN blog:

"You are not loved by bm because you are unlovable."

Btw, your taunting MMM who greatly exceeds you in brains, beauty, happiness and ability to relate to humans only shows your jealous to the world. ROFLMAO

Goodbye, turkey...lol

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