Thursday, April 09, 2015

One love.

Image result for obama jamaica imagesI see that his Oness  is visiting my old stomping grounds. 

Kaci Fennell tweeted that O actually wanted to know her name. That damn Obama. First he has my Prime Minister going all gaga over him, and then he tries to pull up on one of the most beautiful women on the island. (Watch it Kaci, Michelle does not play that.)  

Anyway, Mr. Obama is the first American president to visit my island home since.....(this hurts) Ronald Reagan. So I am sure he got a lot of yawdie love from my peeps.

If I was there and selected to be his official tour guide there are some places that I would love to take him.

Of course we would have to ditch his Secret Service detail.

Ok O, my favorite mode of transportation on the island is a British Mini Cooper (steering wheel on the right), so buckle up. And I am sorry, but Kaci will not be riding with us. :)

Since we are in Kingston we will first head to West Kingston. We will visit an area Bob Marley referred to as "Concrete Jungle". I am taking you here so that you can see the strife and violence that real political wars can bring. Tivoli on one side, and Rema on the other. You people in Washington take verbal swipes at each other and go on cable news shows to talk about your differences. You can afford to just talk about your differences, because, the truth is, no matter which party is in power it won't affect whether you have a meal every day or a roof over your head.

In Jamaica poor people do not have that luxury. Politics is literally a life and death thing.  

While we are in West Kingston we might as well head to Maxfield Ave to see where the legendary Channel One recording studio once stood. Forget the Bob Marley Museum. This is where real reggae music was born.

Ok Mr. President, I know that you are getting a little nervous in West Kingston, so let's get out of here and head to Port Royal. This is where pirates once had their base to rule over the Caribbean  and plunder Spanish ships. This was once a vibrant city with all kinds of crazy and wealthy people living in it. Black Beard himself used to hang out here. Now it's just a sleepy fishing town. You can thank a couple of major earthquakes for that.

I know that's a metaphor for something, but I am just not sure what it is quite yet.

Let's gas up the Mini and head up the East Coast. Forget Ocho Rios and Montego Bay. Port Antonio and the East Coast is where the most beautiful and unspoiled beaches can be found on the island. Naomi Campbell has a villa here, and the dude who wrote all those James Bond novels hung out here as well.

I am taking you here because when your gig is up as president I know that you and Michelle will be looking for a place to settle down.

It's time to eat, so we will we get our grub on at a great little restaurant called Woody's Low Bridge,(Micky D's eat your heart out) and then head west along the coast.

We will stop in Brown's Town and stock up some Rooster drink. Forget all those energy drinks you find in America. This is the real deal. It will keep us up for our trip to the mountainous center of the island. Oh, and I know you used to hit the collie weed back in the day, so while we are in St. Ann you might as well sample some of their most famous plant.  Don't worry, your secret is safe with me.

Mr. President I know that you want to throw up. Driving these country roads can be brutal, but if we want to get to Accompong we have to do this.

I have to take you to Accompong because I want you to learn some of your father's history. This is where runaway slaves called Maroons put  a royal beat down on the Spanish and the English back in the day. They weren't cool with the enslavement thing. You can learn all about their history when I take you there. You have story tellers there who will be all too glad to tell you about it.

Just think, how many American presidents can say that they went to Accompong?

But enough of this history stuff. Let's have some fun. I know that you like to golf so we will play 18 at this club in Montego Bay called White Witch. (No, they didn't name it after Sarah Palin). She was this evil white lady who used to give slaves the business back in the day. If she was alive today she would be a FOX VIEWS host.

The course is as good as anyone of those fancy courses that you like to play in America. But the good news is that you won't have those nosey American cable news people watching your every stroke and saying that you are too "lazy" to be president, because all you do is play golf.

Of course you hanging with the Field Negro in Jamaica will just feed into that narrative. But don't worry, just hit some of that plant you got back in St. Ann and everything will be irie.

*Second pic from jablogz.com










63 comments:

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lilacpr2000 said...

Oh Field! That was so cool! So cool! Loved it. Thanks! I went there with the narrative! Wah gwan Jamaica??? ;D

Anonymous said...

Oh Field! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh God! Yes! Yes! Yes! Oh! God! Yes! Aaaahhhhhh!

Anonymous said...

Mr Field, you have got to write more. You have got to write that novel. You are wasting your talent on FN with Negroes like Lilac who knows nothing about writing.

Anyway, what has happened to Kaci? Is she making a living modeling or back in school?

BTW, Obama still has no business in Jamaica. He is just there to take it easy AGAIN. I swear. Obama is the laziest President of all time.

At least when Reagan went to Jamaica he was going on some important business. You see, Reagan was the hardest working President we had since Nixon.

Of course, Republicans tend to work hard, a little too hard. I really hope Rand Paul will give himself a little break every now and then during his tenure as our President.

PilotX:Freeing slaves from the Republican plantation since the 70's said...

Uh, that tour sounds cool. I don't recall you offering any of your readers a chance to see your homeland. Ha! I'm sure Kinky and Bill would have a blast with you.

kid said...

@Anonymous

Reagan did go there on some important business, bombing West Indian hospitals. I will agree with you on one thing, Reagan and Nixon did work hard,... to screw Black people.

dinthebeast said...

Jamaica has the best weed on the planet. I was born and raised in Humboldt County, California, and that weed is pretty damn good, but not like the straight up sativa from Jamaica.

-Doug in Oakland

Limpbaugh said...

I'd definitely want to see the government yard in Trenchtown.

Anonymous said...

"I'd definitely want to see the government yard in Trenchtown."

So you can observe all the hypocrites?

Anonymous said...

Best slam ever.

Josh:The best thing you fucking morons can do, because everyone knows y'all can't stop posting, is to delete these comments that prove just how fucking stupid you are.

The Purple Cow: So on that basis are you and Bill are going to delete all of yours?

Bam!

Yīshēng said...

Cover of time magazine, BLACK LIVES MATTER!!!

Anonymous said...

"The course is as good as anyone of those fancy courses that you like to play in America. But the good news is that you won't have those nosey American cable news people watching your every stroke and saying that you are too 'lazy' to be president, because all you do is play golf."

No, I'm sure that over at Faux News, it's just endless Choom Gang jokes. All the professional loudmouths will be pretending they never smoked weed in college.

Anonymous said...

"At least when Reagan went to Jamaica he was going on some important business. You see, Reagan was the hardest working President we had since Nixon."

You must be joking. Reagan was senile and 156 years old when he took office. His staff propped him up when it was time for the teevee cameras.

The 1980s were one giant extended nap for the Gipper.

field negro said...

Yep, what anon@5:03 said.

Laughing at Limpbough and the anon that followed. Classic.

But no,I don't think u want to be in that government yard in Trench Town. Not even in an off election year.




Anonymous said...

Anonymous Anonymous said...

"At least when Reagan went to Jamaica he was going on some important business. You see, Reagan was the hardest working President we had since Nixon."

You must be joking. Reagan was senile and 156 years old when he took office. His staff propped him up when it was time for the teevee cameras.

The 1980s were one giant extended nap for the Gipper.




Yet he kicked democrat ass for 8 years and is more beloved than your messiah Obama.

What does that say about democrats?

The Purple Cow said...

"Used to be TPC would actually make an effort to show himself to be at least quasi intelligent."

Yes Josh, that would be back in the day when I thought there was actually some point in engaging with you.

Now I know there is none. There is no point in arguing with a closed mind, and Bill aside, I know of no mind more closed than yours.

But what do I know hey? I'm just 'quasi intelligent'.

Anonymous said...

TPC, what gives you the right to mention Bill's name in the same comment to Josh? They are very different people and you know it.

Josh is what everyone expects a racist to be.

Bill is just one of those white disappointments who turned out to be just another white boy.

Can you not see that there is a big difference in the nature of their characters?

Please don't lump them together.

The Purple Cow said...

One time MI5 agent Ian Flemming wrote the James Bond books, Field. He was a keen amateur ornithologist who became an expert on Jamaica's bird population.

In fact, he took the name of his famous spy from the writer of this well known Jamaican ornithalogical book.

http://www.amazon.co.uk/Birds-West-Indies-James-Bond/dp/0002120240

TM said...

Field, after your generic tour is done, O would be at home in St Bess, where he & his fam would fit right in. We'd welcome them with open arms & they'd have a must deserved politics-free respite

Bill said...


The Purple Cow said...
and Bill aside


I am NOT paying rent for the space I am occupying in your mind.

Ding Ding.

Bill said...


PilotX:Freeing slaves from the Republican plantation since the 70's said...
Bill would have a blast with you.


Had a blast when I was there without the Field Negro Obama tourist program.

Wouldn't it be better if Field Negro got the Choom Gang back together for the Obama Tour?
Remind Obama how much pot he smoked and ask why is he now against high school students smoking pot.


Noting that two states, Colorado and Washington, have now legalized recreational marijuana use, he said, “We will see how that experiment works its way though the process.” But, he added, “I do not foresee anytime soon Congress changing the law at a national basis.”
http://www.mediaite.com/tv/obama-fields-inevitable-marijuana-question-at-jamaica-town-hall/

Sad to see that Obama is against legal pot.

Maybe the government can find a few more Black men with a joint in their pocket to throw in jail.

The Purple Cow said...

Poor old Bill...

Yīshēng said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Yīshēng said...

Yes, PLEASE don't confuse Bill with THE lead Whuteemoo, Jilly!!!

Bill said...


The Purple Cow said...

Poor old Bill...


I rang the bell, and ThePurpleCow responded.

How predictable ThePurpleCow is.

Valarie Cutthecrap Clark said...

I beg to differ...Washington State has
the best weed...lol.

Dr. Ramos, PHD said...

I'm not surprised Reagan went to Jamaica. Back in the day Jamaicans loved them some American cowboys.

Jamaicans loved them some Reagan and they gave our most popular modern president a Jamaican welcome.


When i visited Jamaica years ago, i had a chance to study the native people. I found them to be smart, nice, fun loving people.

They are much different than American blacks.


No surprise blacks outside of America have such low opinions of black Americans.

Anonymous said...

"Used to be TPC would actually make an effort to show himself to be at least quasi intelligent."


We're still waiting for Josh to show any signs of intelligence.

Anonymous said...

"Yet he kicked democrat ass for 8 years and is more beloved than your messiah Obama."

Man please, Reagan was too busy breaking the law and talking on the psychic hotline to do anything.

Bullshit Detector said...

"When i visited Jamaica years ago, i had a chance to study the native people."

Please white trash, you've never been outside of Hazzard County. And stop calling yourself a doctor, you didn't finish the 6th grade.

Anonymous said...

Anonymous@3:08 PM You have Reagan confused with Obama.

Conservatives are stoooopid said...

no confusion dumbass.

http://www.psychicreviewonline.com/psychic-articles/all-about-psychic-readers/famous-presidents-that-consulted-psychics/

And I bet Col. Oliver North would disagree too. Conservatives are stooooopid.

McFred said...

Bill is occasionally insightful. And as big as a dickhead as he usually is, Josh sometimes is too. Yisheng, on the other hand, never has anything of substance to say.

Obama's white rabbit said...

Well if the psychic review says it's true.....

The stupid is strong in da fields....

Hattie said...

Loved this jaunt around Jamaica!!!

Anonymous said...

Someone will eventually Photoshop a spliff tail between his fingers in that second photo.

Anonymous said...

No surprise blacks outside of America have such low opinions of black Americans.

2:52 PM
------------
Yes, I have heard the same. But I wonder 'why' they have low opinions of Blacks? Does anybody know the answer?

PilotX:Freeing slaves from the Republican plantation since the 70's said...

Oh great, another racist troll. We get rid of one and another pops up. Like a game of whackamole. Does it ever end? This one claims to be a doctor and anthropologist. The fields are littered with mole trolls. Ha!

Yīshēng said...

PX said: This one claims to be a doctor and anthropologist.
>>>

The issue of course is that a real PhD KNOWS that the "h" is NEVER capitalized.

Slob Marley said...

"I am taking you here so that you can see the strife and violence that real political wars can bring. Tivoli on one side, and Rema on the other"

We get it, black people are violent wherever they are, and Jamaica is a shit hole. Can you tell us something we don't know?

Hillbilly Bob said...

"We get it, black people are violent wherever they are, and Jamaica is a shit hole. Can you tell us something we don't know?"

White people are violent and live in shit holes? This is true and you should know because you probably live in one. hill

Teh stupid said...

"Well if the psychic review says it's true....."

Yeah dumbass, psychic review is the ONLY place to find out Reagan used psychics. Jeezus, conservatives are fucking dumb but since they elected Reagan and W. twice and tried to elect Palin we know this.

Foreign white said...

"No surprise blacks outside of America have such low opinions of black Americans."

Whites outside of America have low opinions of white Americans. I wonder why that is? Maybe the arrogance, ignorance and obsession with guns? I wonder...........

Anonymous said...

"Whites outside of America have low opinions of white Americans"

It's because they put up with negroes.

Anonymous said...

"It's because they put up with negroes."

Well they put up with dumbasses like you.

Anonymous said...

It's a sad story.
He stepped into the real work world
And discovered he was no man.
So he turned to books.
Like his father, he was a radical.
He Needed a uniform,
A costume,
A persona,
A group of followers.
To keep from being real.
Didn't fit in the hood,
Didn't fit in the board room.
Born too black and too strange and too white.
Worst part is he knew it.
Tried to study his way out.
Tried to jive his way in.
He finally did both.
But he had the gene
For the obscene dream.
And so the political cancer started.
Used to read Marx
Then smoke dope and suck down a six pack
While playing MLK and MX on cassette.
His promised land was just always out of reach
At the bottom of an empty cigarette pack,
Or an empty condom wrapper
Lying next to a boozed out Vegas blonde whore.
Still is.
Always will be.
He knows
A mind is a terrible thing to waste.
But he can't help himself.

PilotX:Freeing slaves from the Republican plantation since the 70's said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
PilotX:Freeing slaves from the Republican plantation since the 70's said...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EXwGjvGnW3c

Yo, check this out Field.

Josh said...

Obama and I probably aren't that different once you get through our genetics, our politics, our taste in women, and our vanity. But I have a feeling that, after leaving Jamaica, Obama will have the same burning question I have:

What the fuck are the lyrics to Gun Shot a Fire?

You peeps need translators.

Anonymous said...

Dear Josh, what is your taste in women that is different from Obama?

I don't see any vanity in Obama. He seems to be a rather humble guy. But, according to your words, you imply that you are a very vain person. That's a shame because it leaves you in a very insecure fearful position in life.

I will pray for you.

Josh said...

Another psychologist heard from whose entire grasp of psychology comes from Sopranos reruns.

If you can't get that my comment was in fucking jest, I don't think I'm the one who needs prayers in this situation.

You moronic anon-crew asshats spend your time at Field's not addressing the issues Field puts forth or attempting to debate logically any potential solutions for things you do perceive to be problems. You lot sift through my comments until which point you can pull out a sentence and start whining about it like little spoiled sophists.

For all I hear about how bad blacks are treated, how racist America is, how much oppression blacks are dealing with, etc, the number-one problem in the world, if Field's hands are any indication, is people on the Internet saying things you don't like.

Like feminists crying about how video game girls have big 3D tits. They don't give fuck one about the oppression of women in the third world; they care about their own vanity and selfishness with first-world problems.

Pray for money or intelligence or something else you can use. It will result in the same thing regardless; that is to say, nothing. So at least direct your energy at a more worthy target.

Anonymous said...

Dear Josh, may I suggest you view the video link below as suggested by the honorable PilotX? I guarantee you won't be disappointed.

In fact, it will probably transform your inner life as a wm:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EXwGjvGnW3c

Josh said...

Yeah, a video of one guy giving his opinion and projecting his issues onto everyone else. That's always good for a life-changing experience, I reckon. Makes sense for grown-ass people who still believe in little kids' fairy tales.

But what makes the anon crew think I have some issue against blacks that I need to change my heart about anyway?

Is it because I made a jest post with Obama in it?

Is it because I don't filter my opinions to protect the emotional state of crybaby sophists?

Or, is it the worst possible crime of all: That I dare disagree with the black consensus here!?

I understand this perfectly. When it's a black person disagreeing with black people, you can just throw that individual out of the club and label him or her as a coon, a sellout, an uncle Tom or uncle Ruckus, a house negro, or whatever else you folks do because you believe being anything but a monolith in ideology is damaging. More than white cops or watching Indiana Jones, most black folks seem to viscerally fear individualism.

For white folks, you don't even have to reach that far. Just the same tired bullshit: "Racist, racist, racist, racist, racist, racist, racist, racist!" It makes the word mean less than nothing.

This moon-faced man's opinion means fuck-all to me. I might listen to him if he suggests a good place to eat at. Other than that...

Donald Young said...

"Dear Josh, what is your taste in women that is different from Obama?"


Josh prefers his women not to have a penis.

Yīshēng said...

Anonymous Donald Young said...
"Dear Josh, what is your taste in women that is different from Obama?"
Josh prefers his women not to have a penis.
>>>>>>

Josh prefers his women to have a penis.

There, I fixed it for ya'!!

Josh said...

One thing I don't understand about a lot of black folks. They bitch and moan and cry and complain about how much they're maligned by society, how bigoted everyone else is toward them, how stereotyped they are, et al; but at every fucking turn, they discriminate against other people in some of the most disgusting ways imaginable.

Yisheng is a bigger anti-gay bigot than right-wing Christians I know. She's forever seeking to give homosexuals grief and to attempt to shame men by insinuating they're gay.

Why dumb fucks like you would ever expect to be treated better when you treat people like shit is well fucking beyond me.

Anonymous said...

from a yardie :
dont know if you heard that they are calling obama
jahracka :)
true yardstyle :)
also i would say wareika hills where count ossie and mystic revelations of rastafari would rehearse and play
is more the spiritual birthplace to reggae than channel one
but no worries thats just my take :)

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lilacpr2000 said...

Oh Yeezusss!

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