Tuesday, November 21, 2017

Some of these men are not like the others.

Image result for idris elba clooney images*The White House couldn't cover for him any longer, so Mr. trump finally came clean with his love for the "alleged" pedophile down in Alabama, Roy Moore. (That whole "birds of a feather" thing I guess.)

Anyway, it seems that it's now cool to be an "alleged" sexual predator, as long as you belong to the right tribe. Politics now trump (pun intended) all things, including morality.

Anyway, these are interesting times when it comes to sexual harassment, and one writer has an interesting take on why all these "alleged" sexual predators fit a certain physical profile.

 "You may have noticed that as this extremely depressing and never-ending “celebrity sex abuser” storyline plays out, there are at least a couple of patterns. One of them, which no one has had the courage to fully examine, is that almost all of the most high-profile alleged abusers from the world of media/entertainment/politics are men who would not be generally considered physically attractive. Some might even be called ugly, and not just because of their behavior.

I am always very skeptical of when the media takes a few stray data points and weaves them into a convenient narrative, but there is clearly something to this. Harvey Weinstein, Roger Ailes, Mark Halperin, Louis C.K., Roy Moore, Al Franken, Charlie RoseGlenn Thrush, John Conyers, John Lasseter, and Jeffery Tambor all clearly fit within this description.

So, is this just a coincidence, or is there a connection between a male celebrity lacking good looks and him being more likely to be accused of sexually inappropriate, or even criminal conduct? I have a theory that there is indeed an association here, one which may play a role in multiple directions.

Given the highly sensitive nature of this subject matter and the incredibly toxic current environment surrounding this topic, I want to first make very clear that I am not looking to in any way to excuse the very bad behavior, which, as the father of two young girls, I obviously abhor. Instead, I am only trying only to explain a portion of what is really going on here and make sense of what seems to be an overwhelming level of insane news stories all coming out at the same time.

Charlie Rose, in his ill-fated “defense” against allegations which led to his instant and shocking downfall, said, “I always felt that I was pursuing shared feelings, even though I now realize that I was mistaken.” While the nature of the allegations, some of which he is denying, makes his perspective difficult to believe, let’s, for a moment, take him at his word. If one understands celebrity and power, this assertion may not be nearly as preposterous as it first appears to be.

Having spent a lot of time around many rather famous and powerful people, I believe that “celebrity” is effectively a disease. It completely screws with a person’s brain and often makes them quite delusional (which is why making someone whose whole life has been about achieving celebrity, the president of the United States, was a REALLY bad idea). In short, a person begins to believe, quite literally, that their crap does not stink.

This creates a situation where they really believe that they can do no wrong and that the people around them, who never tell them “no” and praise nearly everything they do, actually adore them. Much like animals in a first-class zoo, they begin to live in a world with no actual connection to reality and their ability to properly gauge personal interactions becomes greatly diminished.
Inevitably, this impacts their contact within “romantic” relationships, especially if they are heterosexual men. As Harvey Weinstein’s gorgeous and soon to be ex-wife proves, it is well known that some women are extremely attracted to–or at least pretend to be–celebrity, power, and money.
It is hardly a stretch then that these same men, who probably got no female attention in their formative teenage years, in their adulthood as a “celebrity” want to take their new fancy sports car (if you will) out for a ride as often as possible. Inevitably, this means that they will eventually drive this car too fast/recklessly, causing them to crash and burn.

In other words, these men get used to the idea that some women really will, just as Donald Trump infamously told Access Hollywood, “let you do anything” if you are a “star.” They start to think that they are George Clooney because some women actually really do treat them that way (and they are too egotistical to realize that these women are probably mostly faking it). Effectively, they end up WAY “over punting” their “coverage” and bad things, sometimes very bad things, end up happening, especially since these men also tend to have massive entitlement issues.

I know that a lot of people, especially liberal feminists, will be outraged by this analysis because they will wrongly perceive that I am minimizing these widely varied acts of abuse, but I am not. They will also say that I am portraying the motivation of the act incorrectly because sex abuse, to them, is all about power and not about sex.

As an actual heterosexual man, who knows a lot of other real heterosexual men, I believe that this perception is, for the vast majority of cases, way off. The reality is that these men want to have sexual relations with women more beautiful than their own level of attractiveness would normally allow. This is why they pursued the very attributes (fame, power, money) which would make this possible for them to achieve. (Part of why I know this is because, as teenage mega-geek, I started my career as a TV sportscaster for some of the same reasons and, after initially enjoying the “perks,” quickly matured enough to realize they weren’t worth the downside.)

It is instructive here to see how men view sexual abuse when it occurs in reverse. Take, for instance, female teacher sex abuse cases, which are shockingly common and which, not coincidently, get a lot of media coverage, at least when the teacher is considered to be “attractive.” There is zero doubt that the average male, whether they admit it publicly or not, judge the heinousness of these acts based solely on how good-looking the teacher is. For instance, right or not, I have never met a man who thought that the crimes committed on a teenage boy by “hot teacher” Debra Lafave were particularly horrible.

This phenomenon does not generally work the same way with women because biologically they tend to see the role and desirability is irrelevant in judging and interpreting the actions of men in the realm of sexual harassment and abuse. I am convinced, for instance, that if Al Franken looked like Brad Pitt, no one would have ever taken Leeann Tweeden’s charge remotely seriously.

As Tom Brady memorably taught us in a 2012 Saturday Night Live sketch, the rules to follow for not sexually harassing women in the workplace are: “Be handsome, Be Attractive, Don’t Be Unattractive.” [Source]

Now let's be clear, I do not agree with the author's views. I happen to think that if a woman wants to allow *Idris Elba or *George Clooney to flirt with her and not Donald trump or Roy Moore, that is her prerogative. If you happen to be an old unattractive white man who thinks that your money and power allows you to be a pig, then you  might want to do some soul searching and face reality: You are not Idris Elba, George Clooney, or brad Pitt.

It might seem like a double standard, but it's not. That's her choice to make, not yours.   

*Pic from lehren.com

35 comments:

PilotX said...

Man, Mrs. X and I were just talking about this the other day. When you're ugly it's sexual harassment, when you're a pretty mofo it's flirting. Funny how Brad Pitt, Shemar Moore and Denzel have never been accused of harassment.😂

Anonymous said...

This is a pretty bad take, to be honest.

It's not true that men abuse women because they can't get laid. Most of the public figures recently accused of misconduct have wives and girlfriends. Weinstein's wife is smoking hot. Didn't stop him from harassing/assaulting a huge stream of other women.

Also, I'm sure it's not the case that George Clooney and Idris Elba never get rejected by women. Maybe not as often as the average dude, lol, but it happens. If they're not abusing women, it isn't because it's not even theoretically possible for them to do it, on account of hotness.

Anonymous said...

I also don't believe these men are, for the most part, ignorant about the wrongness of what they are doing.

Maybe in some of the minor cases, it could be a matter of social misunderstandings. Sexual harassment law was never intended to prevent women from ever being offended; awkward flirting is not a crime; a hug is not an assault; and so on.

But most of these alleged offenses are more serious. Grabbing the breasts or genitals of a woman with whom you're not in a relationship is clearly wrong. Extorting sex out of a workplace subordinate ("fuck me or you're fired," etc) is clearly wrong.

I can believe some of these men have lied to themselves. Not about their attractiveness to women, per se, but they have maybe lied to themselves after the fact about the woman having consented, because they've done something bad and they still want to think of themselves as good people. Standard moral rationalization, really.

I think Louie CK maybe did this. He convinced himself that female acquaintances had consented to watching him whack off -- when, really, they didn't so much consent as not know what to do when he unexpectedly pulled his wiener out. They just stood there flabbergasted, thinking, what the hell is the proper etiquette in this situation?

Anonymous said...

Finally, I don't think that the majority of the lying here is of the self-deluding variety.

Generally, they're just intentionally lying to the rest of us to avoid any negative consequences.

Just another White Old Fart said...

- Why is the consensus that all of these guys had exactly the same motive and exactly the same psychology...? Sometimes it's about "power and not sex", but sometimes it *is* about sex, or at least, sex as a cover for some sort of fundamental insecurity.
- Then too, some people just really do have a *huge* sex drive, while others have little to none.
- The point is that the problem of harassment and abuse can't be addressed by assuming there is one and only one motive or mindset which leads to the behavior.
-

Limpbaugh said...

The theory makes sense.

dinthebeast said...

They do it because it works, which is why the power dynamic makes what they do evil.
Women get to decide when sex can happen. So some men who don't believe they get that decision enough try to find other ways to influence that decision.
Some are creepier than others, and how you feel about them may depend upon your attitude toward prostitution.
This shouldn't be a difficult topic, the way I see it, but I'm not delusional about whether attractive women want to fuck me, so perhaps I miss the sort of intricacies that other men have such a hard time employing basic human decency about.
If this is confusing to you, try watching this and maybe it will be a little more clear:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BeWpX-ypSls

-Doug in Oakland

Anonymous said...

"The point is that the problem of harassment and abuse can't be addressed by assuming there is one and only one motive or mindset which leads to the behavior."

No, but there is one thing that abusers have in common, which is that they lack sufficient empathy for their victims and don't see or don't care that they are harming them (or, in the worst cases, they actually enjoy harming them).

The common denominator is not treating others the way they themselves would like to be treated. That's a kindergarten lesson, but one that's difficult to apply throughout life.

new duh said...

'mostly faking it'

Fake sex? yes please, where do I sign? Who cares if its 'fake'? All those women faking screaming at pop stars too, must be a TV conspiracy.

Man we wanted to be a rock band just because it drew the chicks. Lots of sex, it's true. You are in denial of reality, women throw themselves at rock stars. Even Germaine Greer could not help herself, look it up. Deal with it, women cannot control themselves.

StillaPanther2 said...

Anon, why do you think the guy got a smoking hot wife if not for his money and ability to up her career. Do you think Heidi whatever her name would have got with that singer unless he had more than he. Why you think most white women get with athletes have little or nothing going for them other than white skin and looks.

On one hand I could give you all the ww that are economically superior to their Black mates. The black men USUALLY bring more to the table. The ww only cry abuse and rape when the brother moves on to the next doting ww. Look at Rep. Conyers accuser. She took 27,000 dollars. I knew she had to be Black to take that "chump change' in the "CRY RAPE' payoff game. Please don't get snippy at me. I did not create the game. The unattractive king had his way with all the women and surely the master raped any Black women he wanted. This game is only going thru some minor adjustment. I AM ENJOYING THE WHItE MAN SPILLING HIS GARBAGE ALL OVER. After the corrections he will be back in our asses. SAD

stillaPanther2 said...

My comments are on the subject but slanted towards how I view these accusers. I just find it so tailored towards a class of people that we have so much empathy for. America has so much ingrained shit that this is just the surface. Will we also address the situations where the "gorgeous" women have used her looks to gain advantages and promotions by her sexual abuse towards weak men that was promised but never got the "booty"

How about suing Hooters for overcharging you by while sexually abusing patrons. This can go on and on. How about re-litigating Anita Hill so we can get that sleepy SCG Thomas off the bench. How about the Duke Lacross players rape of the Black female that had to settle for a payoff. IT took Durham police four days to check the crime scene after it was thoroughly cleaned by Duke University employees. The thing is is that who do you prefer to believe. And we all know that the white man is supreme. That is why this period in time is just like the North versus the South again.

Anonymous said...

"Anon, why do you think the guy got a smoking hot wife if not for his money and ability to up her career."

Probably true, in Harvey Weinstein's case at least, that his wife married him because of his wealth or social position. Weinstein is really a gross-looking guy, and not particularly nice on a personal level, either.

But that has nothing to do with the opinion expressed by the writer in the above article, who seems to believe that Weinstein could somehow have deluded himself into believing he was so amazingly sexy that literally no woman could resist him. Come on. This is absurd. The stories from women of him attacking them make it clear that he got off on them not wanting him, but not being able to stop his assaults. He got off on them being afraid to report him for fear he'd wreck their careers.

Again, he could have had all the sex he wanted from endless attractive women, if he'd been willing to pay for prostitutes. That's not what he wanted. He wanted to enjoy having any woman, whenever, wherever, and maybe enjoyed it more if they didn't want it.

And you might also want to have a rethink before you try and pretend that this sort of sexual misconduct is somehow exclusively a "white man problem." Not only is this not true, but all available evidence says it is a WORSE problem in the black community.

Anonymous said...

Chicago November 2017 to Date:
Shot & Killed: 26
Shot & Wounded: 106
Total Shot: 132
Total Homicides: 28

Anonymous said...

The alt left hollyweirdos provide sanctuary for rape and pedophilia.

PilotX said...

LaVar Burton being harassed by trump supporters because they think he's LaVar Ball.

https://www.alternet.org/comments/news-amp-politics/unhinged-trump-fans-are-mistakenly-hate-tweeting-reading-rainbow-star-levar-burton#disqus_thread

Anonymous said...

Sutherland Spring November to date 2017

Shot and killed: 26
Total homicides: 26

The GOP said...

The alt right republicans provide sanctuary for rape and pedophilia.

mike from iowa said...

Shit fer brains in the former White House, now shit house, was corrupt long before he ever got Putin's blessing to steal the election. Drumpfuck was absolutely corrupt before he got Putin power.

Mystere said...

Thanks for the link, Doug. Leave it to Samantha Bee to get directly to the point and be funny at the same time. :-)

Just another White Old Fart said...

- Well, lots of excellent points in response to my "Why is the consensus that all of these guys had exactly the same motive and exactly the same psychology...?"
- Yeah, you (plural) are all correct: they *do* all share a total lack of concern for, or comprehension of, other people. I'm not even sure now what the heck I was thinking [[smacking self in head]], Yikes!!!
-
- May I claim a med-induced "brain fart" on this one...?
-

field negro said...

Pilot@1:07, those people are just not that smart.😊

Anonymous said...

Where are all the women accusing garbagemen of sexual harassment? Where are all the women alleging sexual harassment from hardware store clerks? Or grocery baggers? Or fast-food workers? Or ferryboat deckhands? Or housepainters? One guess. There's no professional upside to saying your garbageman sexually harassed you. And there's no media knocking on your door with a camera if you allege your car mechanic exercised his 'power' over you 8 years ago. We need to address the obvious commonality of these accusations and put them in the perspective of the 'victims' career choices. There ain't no free media exposure for accusing your barista of sexually harassing ya.

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Anonymous said...

"Where are all the women accusing garbagemen of sexual harassment? Where are all the women alleging sexual harassment from hardware store clerks? Or grocery baggers? Or fast-food workers? Or ferryboat deckhands? Or housepainters?"

Most of those women are too poor to afford attorneys and too poor to afford to be unemployed when their boss fires them in retaliation for a harassment accusation.

Also, whom do you think the media cares about and wants to report on more? A Hollywood actress who accused a studio mogul? Or a waitress who accused her manager at Denny's?

Higher-profile women are taken more seriously. That doesn't mean less powerful women don't get harassed.

Just another White Old Fart said...

^^^^^^ EXACTLY! That is an excellent answer.

- And really, part of the problem is clearly indicated the mere fact that someone is so fricking patronizing as to even ASK something like "Where are all the women accusing garbagemen of sexual harassment?"
-
- That "question" (more of an accusation than a question) clearly shows that a large part of the problem is that so many people are *oblivious* to assaults committed against women who are not celebrities, not "glamorous", not RICH. That question is just part of the whole attitude that the only thing which makes people "valuable" is having a lot of money. No money = no value, and no value = invisible. Meaning, that even IF non-wealthy women risk their livelihoods and report a boss or coworker who is harassing or abusing them, and even less likely, even IF the Nooz reported it, the fact is that certain people still would refuse to see it or hear it, and instead, pose *supposed* "questions" which, in typical passive-aggressive fashion, are actually accusations and degenerations.
-



Just another White Old Fart said...

PilotX said...

LaVar Burton being harassed by trump supporters because they think he's LaVar Ball.


- Well, they both have the same name and are both Black..,
- That's about as far as the micro-minds can "think"...
-

dinthebeast said...

There's also the possibility that fewer of those men you mentioned are such entitled pricks that they pull stupid shit on the women who work for them.
My guess is that the likelihood of such behavior goes up with the money, status, and power that put distance between the men who attain them and the humanity that connects them to the sort of people who tend to get abused.
That's not to say there aren't any assistant managers out there who can't keep their hands to themselves, I've known a few. But if you have to actually work for your living, the chances of you being that delusional are less, as you have to be functional on at least some level.

-Doug in Oakland

mike from iowa said...

Stoopid fucking wingnuts are mad at Le Var Burton because he played Kunta Kinte in Roots and he hosted Reading Rainbow which stoopid fucking wingnuts believe is a direct challenge to their stoopidity.

Anonymous said...

Anonymous said...
Sutherland Spring November to date 2017

Shot and killed: 26
Total homicides: 26
1:13 PM

Seems to stay at the same rate each month/year. Yet Chicago the carnage rages on each day/week/month.

Anonymous said...

For Just another White Old Fart said…

Nobody is patronizing here but I see a lot of people jumping on the bandwagon to wave their little flag.

My point is if there isn't any professional advantage to complying and/or if there isn't any professional advantage to coming forth and decrying 'bad behavior'… they just say no. Loudly. Violently if necessary. We're not talking about rapists with a claw hammer here, we're talking about people waving continuing and advancing employment.

Got it?

Just another White Old Fart said...

@ "anonymous" at 8:52 AM

- Huh? Waving a little flag? Now *that* is patronizing. =>:-p
- As for "professional advantage", since when is descrying bad behavior, or submitting to the threats of someone who has power over one (whether a boss or an 'official' of some sort or so on) nothing more than a matter of "professional advancement"? Obviously, you've never been in that situation, and/or never cared for someone who was.
- Coercion, BTW, goes far beyond your "claw hammer". And workplace (or other) coercion is almost never as simple as your simplistic "just say no" - which, despite your 'claim' to the contrary, is extremely patronizing, as well as painfully (for the rest of us) ignorant.
-

Anonymous said...

Seems to stay at the same rate each month/year. Yet Chicago the carnage rages on each day/week/month.
----------
Seems like a new mass shooting by a crazy white guy killing pregnant women and kids every other day. Sick.

Elvis said...

Takes Chicago a whole month or more to catch up to what crazy eyed white guys do in a day. Viva Las Vegas!

president downgrade said...

Seems to stay at the same rate each month/year. Yet Chicago the carnage rages on each day/week/month.
----------
That's not possible, according to trump the "carnage" was going to stop day one. He was going to send in the feds and there were going to be no more shootings in Chicago. I guess he lied because there are more mass shootings during trump's reign than in the 8 years of Obama. As usual we actually get more carnage under trump.

Lt.Commander Johnson said...

anonymous Elvis said...
Takes Chicago a whole month or more to catch up to what crazy eyed white guys do in a day. Viva Las Vegas!

11:16 AM

Heh. Keeps you on your side of sewerage town, doesn't it?