It's Hard Out Here For A Poverty Pimp

I know there are a few well known poverty pimps in America who have made a pretty good living pimping the "man" in the name of civil rights. (Jessie Jack$on, and Al $harpton come to mind)

But did you know that pimps come in many different colors, are of many different political persuations, and are not all pimping poverty like the usual suspects? No, some are pimping ideology, some are pimping fear, and some are even pimping religion. So it's getting harder and harder out here for pimps like Jessie, and Al, who are basically one trick ponies in the pimp game. So what I think they need to do, is start branching out and diversifying their game a little.

For instance, one of the biggest pimps in America is a white talk show host who struts his stuff on FAUX news every night. This pimp goes by the name of Bill Olielly, and he has been making angry white men all over America his bitches for awhile now. Hustler Bill, has actually convinced his stable of "hoes" that there is a culture war raging in America, and unless they wake up, the dirty bogeyman on the left is going to get them. He gets paid millions to host his show; sell his books, key chains, and lord knows what else to a gullible group of kool-aide drinkers who are all too willing to buy into his hustle.

I mean how sweet of a hustle is that? I thought Jessie was good, but this guy is better. And like true "hoes", all those FAUX NEWS listeners just worship the ground that pimp daddy OLielly walks on. Yeah one December 25th morning in the not too distant future, we are going to wake up and there will be no presents under the tree folks, because there will be no more Christmas in America.

Keep pouring the kool- aide Bill, the "hoes" are still drinking.

Here are a few more pimps I added to the list with their area of hustle in parenthesis next to their names.

1. Ru$h I need a fix Limbaugh- (Politics)
2. Michelle Malkin -women can be pimps too - (Politics)
3. Laura Ingram-(Politics)
4. T.D. Jakes -oh yeah pastor you are on this list too- (Religion)
5. Ann camel neck Caulter-(Politics)
6. Armstrong Williams-(Politics)
7. Harold Ford, Jr. -yeah slick you too- (Politics)
8. Sharp James-(Politics)
9. Don King-(Sports)
10.Pat Robertson-(Religion)
11. Jerry Falwell-(Religion)
12. Larry Elder-(Race, politics)
13. Martha Stewart-(Homemaking)
14. Paris Hilton-(Popular culture)
15. Dr. Phil-(Health)
16. All division one NCAA coaches-(Sports)
17. Andrew Young-(Race, business)
18. Tavis Smiley-(Race, business, popular culture)
19. Dr. Eric Dyson -Cos was right- (Race)
20. Shawn droopy Hannity-(Politics)

And the biggest pimp of all is:
Frat boy of course; for having almost half of a country full of his own personal bitches. Now that's pimping. Snoop would be proud.

The Maroons

There is nothing really interesting in the news today, so I have nothing to report from my local paper.

Instead, I would like to give you, the reader, a little history lesson.

"The Maroon...is a symbol of man's love for freedom, a token, and agent of active protest against slavery..."

Sir Phillip Sherlock.

Raders of this blog know by now that I am from the Island of Jamaica.
As a Jamaican,I am proud of the many contributions my Island home has made to the world. -Reggae music comes to mind-

But I want to tell you about a group of people that truly makes me proud to be a Jamaican. They are called the Maroons, and if ever a people symbolized the spirit of the true field-negro it was the Maroons of Jamaica. They were fierce and ferocious fighters who refused to be enslaved by the "man".

The Maroons were brought over as slaves from the Ivory Coast, and the Congo regions of Africa around 1655, and waged war against the British in Jamaica until a peace treaty was signed in 1739.

The Maroons were such great fighters that they defeated three regiments of the British army that was brought in to capture them, as well as Carib Indian warriors who were brought over from other Islands to do the dirty work of having to quell the uprising for the British.

The Maroons were more than worthy adversaries to the British, so much so that the British were forced to sign the aforementioned peace treaty, giving them over 1,500 acres of land and an independent state within Jamaica. They were officially recognized as free people, and allegianed themselves with the Jamaican government to fight the French in Haiti and the Spanish in Cuba.

Now this might surprise you, but the greatest Maroon warrior was a woman by the name of Nanny. She was a fearless leader and war strategist who guided the Maroons from 1725-1740 at the height of the Maroon rebellions against the British. It is believed that she practised Obeah, an ancient African religion with mystical leanings. It was also one of the tools that she used to instill confidence in her warriors who were often outnumbered by the British garrisons. She taught her warriors how to camouflage themselves and use guerilla warfare to their maximum advantage in the rebellion, leading to many victories for this great field-negro and her fighters.

Nanny was a politician as well, she was repsonsible for uniting the different factions of the Maroons across Jamaica. This great lady was finally given the recognition she deserves and was made a national hero by the Jamaican government in 1976.

Now speaking of history, you won't read much about the Maroons of Jamaica, because most of their history is oral. It's passed down from generation to generation by Maroon story tellers. But there are still Maroon villages in Jamaica where you can go to learn about this fascinating group of field-negroes who refused to be enslved.

field negro: Shout Outs!

field negro: Shout Outs!

Shout Outs!

I would like to thank house -negro and republican gang member Leshawn Barber for banning me from her blog and giving me the inspiration to start my own. I am not where you are yet house- negro Barber, but I am coming for that ass!

I would like to thank my sister for helping me to cultivate my debating skills. Those arguments over the dinner table while we were growing up were priceless. I have yet to meet an adversary as good as you were. And while we are at it, thanks for turning me on to Baldwin, Fanon, the Last Poets, and Gil Scott Heron- The Revolution is still not being televised-

I would like to thank all the field-negroes keeping it real out here in the fields. I am going to have a top ten list for you real soon. Not to mention the field-negroes from history who paved the way for modern day field-negroes like myself. People like my homey Marcus Garvey, like Malcolm X, and Nelson Mandela, Norman Manley, and Harriet Tubman... we could go on and on.

I would like to thank the people who volunteered to help the Katrina victims during their spring break.

I would like to thank the people in the hood who have the courage to come forward and report crime whenever they see it.

I would like to thank public school teachers -Black and white- who bust their asses every day trying to teach kids who are too ignorant to know what's really good for them.

And finally, I would like to thank the LSU Tigers for kicking Duke's ass. Seeing Mr. American Express Man and his 1400 SAT scoring McDonald's All Americans go down was priceless. Geaux Tigers!!!!

Shooting the Messenger

Boy didn't frat boy look fired up the other day? My man was all over the press about their coverage of the war in Iraq. I mean did you see him? He even called on his arch nemesis, Hellen Thomas, the one hundred plus year old lady from the AP. Maybe he shouldn't have, becasue she did what so many other reporters have failed to do since the start of this Presidency; she asked a tough question.

Now frat boy and Rove are slick, and I am sure he knew exactly what he was doing when he called on grandma. He was saying, bring it on press I am ready for you. And ready he was. He was combative, argumentative, and just down right rude to the little old lady in the front row. Frat boy chastised old lady Thomas and the press in general for focusing on the bad things happening in Iraq. What about the progress in Iraq, the schools, the hospitals ? None of this is being reported he wailed , and it's the liberal media's fault. He implied that we are in it for the long haul, and if the press doesn't help by getting the right message to the American people it will cause the people to become impatient.

Hey frat boy, I have some news for you. It's a WAR! There is no good news to report from a war where dozens of people are dying every day. There are car bombs, suicide bombs, mosque bombs, assassinations, and on and on. There just isn't any good news to report from a WAR! I mean, well, OK, I guess you could say that Iraq has more television stations now, and the Iraqis are finally enjoying more personal freedoms. But what good is personal freedom if you are too afraid to leave your home? What good is a television station if you have no electricity to watch it with?

One of frat boy's minions-Laura Ingram- was on NBC preaching to that network about how irresponsible they were for not covering the war in a fair and balanced way. -You know, kinda like the white house propaganda machine FAUX News does- Yeah right Laura, let's just conveniently forget that one of their reporters was killed in Iraq covering the war. And while we are on that subject, more reporters have been killed covering this war than were killed in Vietnam. I didn't hear you complaining at the start of the war when reporters were embedded with the troops and sending home reports of the great shock and awe of the U.S. military.
Of course you didn't complain, the news was good for your republican gang -The red state bloods- so it was all good.

This strategy of attacking the press is yet another attempt by frat boy to play the old three card monty with the American people. Focus on the evil press, and not on my stupid irresponsible foreign policies. This will help me to get away with being totally incompetent just a little longer. And who knows, if enough of my gang members keep shooting the messenger, heck, we might just convince the American people that we are doing the right thing after all.

Go get em frat boy they are evil doers too. Because we all know that the pen is mightier than the sword.

I loved this article from the New York Times

http://www.nytimes.com/2006/03/20/national/20blackmen.html

This article was a must read. Scary stuff; unless of course you are in the house with massa.
I would like to thank my boy Atiba for this one.

THOUGHT I WOULD PASS THIS ALONG

Check out this link, these two negroes are upcoming candidates for the top ten house negroes list!http://wesawthat.blogspot.com/2006/03/smiling-negroes.html

Catching Up On The News

Well it's Sunday morning on a beautiful sunny day in the city of brotherly love. As I always do on Sunday mornings, I am reading from my local paper- The Philadelphia Inquirer- about the latest news of the day.

Allow me to share some thoughts with you.

The first headline that jumped out at me said this:
"U.S. warships fire on pirate suspects"
Now I have to ask myself, are these pirates insane?
They were in a thirty foot fishing boat and they fire on a war ship?
Why would you fire on a war ship from a fishing boat for crying out loud?
Anyway, the news goes on to say that one suspect was killed, and five were wounded. Obviously there were no injuries on the war ship.
Geeez! Where is Black Beard when you need him?

Let's see what else?
The Inquirer has a huge piece on the war effort in Iraq (It's been three years folks) and how it's not going all that great. "A Mission Imperiled" reads the headlines.

I have to ask this quesiton; after a quarter of a billion dollars, the sacrifice of 2,315 lives, and the squandering of good will with the world community, was it worth going to war with Iraq? I know there are people who mean well on the other side of this argument, people who will say that it was absolutely worth it. Their argument continues to be that it is better to fight the enemy on their turf than on ours.

I am sorry I am not buying it. This might have been the case if our entire war effort was focused in Afghanistan a country whose government protected bin Laden while he plotted 911. But to try to make an argument that we had to go into Iraq to protect us from Mad-man Hussein is ludicrous.

Also in the news; there are editorials calling for the impeachment of frat boy for allegedly lying about the war, and allegedly spying on Americans without authority.

Sorry, I gotta pass on this one . I have lots of issues with frat boy, one of them being that I think he is totally incompetent and should not be running a major league baseball team, let alone a country. But to call for his impeachment is a bit much. Democrats, take a lesson from history and don't make the same mistake those wack job republicans in congress did when they tried to impeach the first black President for having sex with that plump intern.

Finally, if you will recall I posted last week about the new President of Chile being a woman, and what a good thing it was for democracy and equal rights all over the world.

Well it looks like this stuff is contagious, because my home- land Jamaica, is on the verge of electing its first female Prime Minister. (Portia Simpson) You go girl!

That's my take on the news, and now I want to talk a little sports.

T.O. T.O. T.O. you are breaking my heart. If you are a regular reader of this blog, you know that I am a HUGE Eagles fan. And of course, in order to be an Eagles (or as we say in Philly, Iggles) fan you MUST hate the cowgirls. There is no compromising here, your love of the Iggles must be as strong and as pure as your hatred for the cowgirls.

So how do you think I felt when I woke up this morning and saw T.O.'s mug plastered all over the front page with the owner of the cowgirls Jerry Jones? To say that I am a conflicted man is an understatement. On one hand I am happy, because I will get to see the man I consider to be the greatest receiver EVER (Yes that includes Jerry Rice) play at least twice a year. On the other hand, I feel like a guy who used to date the home coming queen, and now I have to go to the prom and watch her dance all night with my arch enemy.

It's a sick feeling, but Eagles fans we better get used to it because something tells me we are going to be watching T.O. do some serious dancing in our end zone this year :(

Madd props to Bill Lester, who will be the first African American to drive in a major NASCAR race since Willie Ribbs. (Golden Corral 500 in Atlanta). My man blazed to a 19th place pole position ahead of NASCAR veterans like Toney Stewart and Dale Earnhardt, Jr.

I am not a big NASCAR fan for obvious reasons, but I think I will be watching this one just to see how things turn out for my man.

No chants of U.S.A. U.S.A. in world baseball. Even with the obvious blown call by the old homer umpire who had already robbed Japan, the Americans still choked and went on to lose to our friends from south of the border. Isn't this supposed to be our national pastime?

Finally in sports; good bye John Chaney.
You are a true field- negro and Temple basketball will not be the same without you. I love the fact that you are in the hall of fame, that you developed the match up zone, that you won a division two championship at historically black Cheyney State, that you had Temple in the tournament every year, that you didn't back down from any other program, and that you produced some classy and solid kids including pros like Eddie Jones, and Aaron McKie.

What I loved most about you though; is that like a true field- negro, you were never afriad to stand up to the "Man". Be it the NCAA, newspaper reporters, or phony college academic types; no matter who it was, you always kept it real.

You will be missed.

Now if you will excuse me, this field-negro has some house work to do.

TOP TEN HOUSE NEGROES UPDATE

I told you my TOP TEN HOUSE NEGROES list would be subject to change so here goes:

Dropping off the list is Will Smith and Donovan McNabb. Will is off because since putting him on my list I have heard some good things about my homey from West Philly. Seems he might actually come out to the fields more often than I thought. Will knows how to play Massa's game, but I guess that doesn't necessarily make him a house negro.

As for Chunky Soup man, well he is off becuase I am an Eagles fan and he is our quarterback. Nuff said!

Here are the additions:

The Reverend Jesse Lee. Peterson- My brother you are on this list becuase you hate yourself more than the massa hates you. How you got to your position of stature (FAUX News commentator, radio talk show host, book deal, and on and on) only the good Lord in heaven knows. I have listened to you on a couple of occasions, and besides being one of the most inarticulate speakers I have ever heard, I found your self hate diatribes to be total garbage.

I hope conservatives look a little harder the next time for their token black self-hater. At least black conservative commentators like Shelby Steele, and Uncle Thomas Sewell are intellectuals who can put two sentences together. With all due respect Reverend, you look like you were taken out of some south central crack house, given a suit and some talking points, and told to go get em.

Ronald Christie- Mr Christie is the opposite of Jesse Lee when it comes to intellect. He is obviously a smart guy (wrote a book about being black in the white house) but loves the house just as much as Jesse does. Ronald's rhetoric is straight from the republican talking points and there is nothing wrong with that, but he seems to relish his role as the former token negro on the VP's staff a little too much for my taste. So for that, he goes on the list.

The SuperSpade: The Right to be a Deadbeat

The SuperSpade: The Right to be a Deadbeat

Musings From My Local Paper

Yep, It's Sunday morning again and as usual, I am checking out the headlines from my home-town paper -The Philadelphia Inquirer.

I will start with the major headline of the day; the passing of Slobodan Milosevic. Now here is a guy that was single handedly responsible for the deaths of hundreds of thousands of his countrymen all in the name of nationalism. Like Hitler, he died before the relatives of the victims of his heinous acts could receive what they felt was the real justice they deserved. Seeing him suffer for his crimes against their loved ones.

Wacko Slobo's rise to power was fueled by the fall of communism in Eastern Europe. This led to the break up of Yugoslavia with all its different ethnic groups and provinces. Ultimately, a brutal and bloody civil war followed with ethnic cleansing of Muslims and Croations by his Serbian army, and para military thugs.

Now if this sounds alot like Iraq, it's because the situation is eerily similer to what is happening in that country. Tito was a communist who held Yogoslavia together after World War II. Like Sadam, he ruled over a country with different ethnic groups with strong ethnic pride. We might not have liked their methods, but their countries stayed unified and there was never a threat of civil war or uprising from the minority groups in their respective countries.

With Milosevic dead, maybe we can reflect on the history of that region and how we can prevent repeating it in other parts of the world.

Mmmm.... let's see now, Bush "shocked" by aide's arrest.
My question is why; given all that has happened to his administration lately, why should anything shock him?

What's sad, is that this negro was the number two man at the Department of Human Services who worked his way up to the inner circle of the White House. Ultimately, this house-negro threw it all away because of an alleged shop lifting problem. Come on brother Claude, you are making us all look bad. I mean how stupid can you be? Massa lets you in the house and you blow it because you couldn't stay out of Target?

Nice to see another country (Chile) step into the 21st century and elect a woman President. Could America be far behind ?

All this hoopla about border security; well they better start paying the border patrols a better salary. Otherwise, we will see more news like this:
TWO BORDER PATROLS ARRESTED FOR TAKING $300,000 IN BRIBES FROM MEXICAN SMUGGLERS.

Now some sports:

Mad props to my man Gary McNamara for his sick Big East tournament performance. Hey, it's close to St. Patty's day. "May the luck o the Irish continue to be with you mi boy".

And speaking of tournament; this is for the selection committee. Please, please, do not select nine teams from the Big East or any of the other major conferences for that matter. Give some poor mid-major that won twenty games and went 12 and 2 in their conference a shot. Forget the stupid RPI for once, and give some other kids a shot at the dance.

Finally, my take on Barry Bonds. Yes he took steroids, and so did a bunch of other major leaguers like Mark Maguire. But here is something to chew on.
He is still one of the greatest baseball players of all time. Even pre-steroid days the guy was awesome. (Check out his stats with the Pirates) Would he have broken all those home run records without the roids? Maybe not, but he still would have been one of the top three or four players over the past twenty years.

I know the guy is a jerk with the media, but back off already, he has no obligation to you fraud sports writers who have your own agendas and built in biases. Part of it of course is good old fashion racisim. No white baseball fan in America wants to see Ruth's record broken. (One was bad enough, but two of them, nooooo) So let's stop with the pretense like it's about steroids. Here is one field-negro who will be cheering like hell for Barry. And I hope no matter what, he will not bow to public pressure and hang up his cleats.

Now if you will excuse me, I have to get ready for the Sopranos.

TOP TEN HOUSE NEGROES IN AMERICA

I had to do it, it's hard out here in the fields.
Here are the top ten house negroes in America:

1. Clarence Thomas- Straight out of central casting for this role. Turned on his own sister, married outside of his race, makes decisions on the court that even his white colleagues find draconian towards minorities. The guys name is Clarence Thomas for crying out loud!

2. Lynn Swann-Good luck on your run for Governor of Pennsylvania Lynn. I hope all those western Pennsylvanians that say they will vote for you don't change their minds once they get in the voting booth.

3. Ward Connerly- Championed a proposition in California to do away with affirmative action in public schools. And like Clarence, married to a white woman.

4. Allen Keys- Ran for President as an extreme social and fiscal conservative. Embarrassed himself by running against Barak Obama for the vacant Illinois senate seat. I think he got 2% of the vote.

5. Will Smith- Yeah I am from Philly like my home boy Will. But I promised to keep it real on this blog. Now Will seems to be a good guy, but massa sure keeps him in the house a lot.

6. Donovan McNabb- While we are on a Philly theme. I might as well put chunky soup man down too. Hey, he campaigned management to get the best player in Eagles history out of town (T.O.) becasue the guy wouldn't toe the company line. Doesn't want to be percieved as a black QB , thus no scrambling. HELLO! Can you say Fran Tarkenton? The last time I checked he was white.

7. Colin Powell- Yes General, you too. I respect you, and I love your stance on affirmative action, but you love the house a little too much for my taste.

8. Thomas Sowell- See my comments on this blog about an article this arch conservative self hater wrote.

9. Oprah Winfrey- Yes girlfriend you too. That whole Aunt Jemima routine was old for me when you started your show years ago. Nothing has changed, you just have more money to dress it up a little more now. Besides, I can't get over what you are doing with this book club thing. (See article on this blog)

10. Wayne Brady- Still singing and dancing in the house the last time I checked.

Let me give an honorable mention to couple of people:

• A.M. Tony Clayton-Black prosecutor in Baton Rouge, Louisiana. OK, so he put away Derrick Todd Lee the Louisiana serial killer. But this guy only likes to prosecute his own people. He will take a plea bargain with a white defendant but never with one of his own. Has sent more innocent blacks to Angola, than twenty white prosecutors combined.
• Condi Rice-This was a bit tough for me because I must admit that I kinda like Condi, but she needs to come out here and spend a little more time with us field negroes.
• J.C. Watts-Black republican congressman from Oklahoma, who ran away from the field and swore he aint never going back. "Wasn't it his dad that said: "A black man voting republican is like a chicken voting for Colonel Sanders"
  Former member of the list.
• O.J., until he fooled around and killed missy. "Now he out here in the field with us".
  
  ***Just a note; this list is subject to change.

Field Negro 

My Take On The Latest News

OK, Just browsing through my local paper "The Philadelphia Inquirer"
and I happen to have some thoughts about today's news.
Here goes:

Props to W for at least attempting to play some cricket in Pakistan. I grew up in Jamaica, and I know a little about cricket it's a tough game. So he got hit by a pitch, big deal, trust me, it's tougher than standing in a batters box in baseball. Those bowlers (Their term for pitchers) can chuck it over a 100 miles an hour, and unlike baseball, they can bounce the ball off the pitch or come straight at you through the air.

Having given props to my man W, I have to rip him now. Not such a good idea to change the terms and cave in to India on our nuclear agreement with that country. Yes they are a democracy, and yes their economy is growing. (Trust me I know, I use my credit card customer service too ) but someone should remind frat boy of the constant fighting in that region between India and Pakistan. I mean do we really want to piss of the Pakistanis now? I don't think so; giving India essentially a blank check with their already thriving nuclear program is not a good thing, especially when we need the Pakistanies more than we need the Indians right now with our was on terror. Soon other countries will start asking for the same deal, what will we tell them? Sorry, no nukes for you, we gave it the Indians because they have good customer service reps.

OK another bombing in Baghdad, so what else is new? "Seven people killed when a bomb explodes at a bus terminal". The real news is that the President of that country declared that he was assured by America that we would be in Iraq as long as needed; no matter how long it takes. Mmmm....was that very smart Mr. Pakistani President?
Now someone should teach this President a thng or two about diplomacy. Yes someone from our government might have told him that, but is this really something we want to tell the press? Mr. Talabani you have just made it much harder for those in our country who want to stay the course with you, by creating another political problem for them right here in America with your careless rhetoric.

Mmmm... lets see now, what else is in the news? "Files offer glimpse into Guantanamo... "
Don't care, we move on. (Yeah I am a field negro, and I am used to hard work and abuse at massa's plantation. Like I really care about some guy in a prison on an Island in the Caribbean bitching about abuse?)

"Hammas Chief calls Russia key to peace".
Now this is troubling. Khaled Mashaal went on to say that "Russia can be a significant force in promoting stability in the Middle East" Yea, well how did they do in Afghanastan Khaled? Or in their own republic for that matter? Yeah I bet those Chectnians really see the Russians as a stabilizing force for peace. Give me a break!

Mmmm.. "Chinese lawmakers focus on poverty." Good for them. ARE YOU LISTENING CONGRESS? Can we focus on poverty here in America. It might actually solve some of our other social problems; like crime for example.

On a lighter sports note:
This is a message for coach K , Jerry Colangelo, and all the people at U.S.A. basketball. By not selecting A.I. to the olympic team you have destroyed all basketball credibility you ever had. How can you not select A.I.? Yes I am a homer, and I love the man, so I might be a bit biased in my opinion. But Allen Iverson gives you scoring, tenacity, and quickness. (Which the last time I checked, is about the only area the rest of the world hasn't caught up to us in) Not to mention, he is one of the five top players in the NBA, and probably one of the top fifty of all time. And please don't give me the behaviour and not a team player crap when you have solid citizens like Kobe Bryant, and gunners like King James on the squad. Hey, I know A.I.'s sponser is Reebok, and Nike will suit up the team for these upcoming games therefore a lot of cynics are saying that this influenced your selection. But hey, I am trying very hard to give you the benefit of the doubt and assume that you leaving my man off the team had nothing do with politics and money. Somehow though, in the end, I am sure it will be about politics and money. Having said that, I hope team U.S.A. loses every game by forty points, and you people come home hanging your heads in your Nike warmups in disgrace.

OPRAH'S SHAME

I don't mean to gloat or rub in in anymore on our beloved Oprah Winfrey, because let's face it, she has been through a lot lately. But forgive me if I am not feeling sorry for Ms. Thing.

Here is the deal, unless you have been on another planet for the past few months, you are well aware by now of Oprah's embarrasing episode on the January 12th episode of Larry King Live. Remember Oprah giving her blessings to James Frey's fraudulent book, "A Million Little Pieces" while Frey's mother looked on with absolute glee? There was Oprah telling Larry King, that in spite of a little exaggeration and streching of the truth, she still believed in her shamed author. "What is relevant is that he was a drug addict.." Are you kidding me? No Oprah, what is relevant is that he lied.

Now I have had to endure Oprah for years. When she just started out as the man bashing maven of daytime talk I didn't get all bent out of shape like my other male buddies, because I figured, what the heck, women need somewhere to vent. Oprah of course created the perfect outlet with her living room styled girlfriend only daily talk fest about men, relationships, and all things personal and mushy. But as she continued to morph into America's favorite Auntie (You know the one ; the sweet innocent black Matriarch who you don't mind sharing your problems with , and who you don't mind letting into your home to cook, clean, and even help raise your children) I started getting more irritated with Ms. Thing . I found her daily dose of I need a hug television phony and contrived. I just could never shake the feeling that while these people were crying on her shoulders Oprah was laughing all the way to the bank.

Now finally in my opinion, Oprah has gotten too big for her own good. She has become an all powerful billion dollar industry all unto herself. One of the most, if not the most powerful women in America. Girlfriend now has the ability to make a career with a single endorsement (See Doctor Phil). Heck, she can even get someone elected President if they appear on her show. Check it out, that's a fact. When George W. Bush first ran for President his numbers got a huge boost after he went on Oprah allowing her millions of suburban swing voting housewives to see what a warm and compassionate guy he was. W never looked back, and he wrote those numbers all the way to Pennsylvania Avenue. Unfortunately, as her numbers and ratings continue to grow, Oprah has become a hero to darn near every woman in America. It doesn't matter if you are black, white, rich, or poor. Oprah's empire covers publishing, movies, and magazines. She is huge, and quicker than you can say Harpo, she has become a living breathing American icon.

So you can see why I am gloating a little at Ms. Thing. The male chauvinist in me is saying it's about time this man basher got hers. Also, I always love to see a hypocrite exposed. That's the field negro in me, call it house negro envy; when we see one of the negroes who got to the house get exposed we rejoice. But I have some pure motives as well, because Oprah never really used her immense power to influence, push, and promote people (I guess you could call them field negroes) who really need a break. Instead, she uses her influence to promote those who need promoting the least. For instance, other than the usual suspects like Maya Angelo, and Alice Walker, what up and coming black author has Oprah ever pushed for her boook club? I have friends who are writers (An excellent local Philly author, Solomon J0nes comes to mind) and I hear this lament all the time. I am guessing for instance that if poor Mr. Frey had been a field negro he would not have been in this position simply because Oprah would not have given him the chance to be.

There are so many struggling black authors who would die for just a mere mention of their book by Queen Oprah. And why not, if you are selected for Oprah's book of the month club you are guaranteed a New York Times best seller, sales and riches for future books, and fame beyond your wildest dreams. So what does Oprah choose to do? She chooses to promote obscure white authors who she thinks her significant white audience will be more appreciative of. The irony is that these people are so devoted to Queen Oprah that if she selected the New York City phone book for her book of the month it would be a best seller.

Come on Oprah, you don't need them, you had them at hello. You can stop pandering to this base now and start keeping it real. We know you are a field negro at heart so let your true colors come out, you can afford it. Heck you can build a house bigger than massa's now.

The other day I watched with the rest of America while Oprah finally ambushed her disgraced author on her show. She did it, she says, because she was embarrased and dissapointed that a book that was meant to help people, turned out to be a lie. Oprah, I hate to break it to you girlfriend, but that book seems eerily like you.

Gang Banging

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