Saturday, September 02, 2006

Looney Coons. (The Coonies)



You may have noticed some changes in the fields. Yep, it was getting a little gloomy around here. I mean, just because the world is going to hell in a hand basket, doesn't mean the fields can't at least try to look optimistic. Anyway, thanks to the boys at Blogger, the field updated his site a bit. It's also nice to be able to show some love to some fellow bloggers, and news organizations who the field has enjoyed reading from time to time. So now that we have that out of the way, I would like to recognize some individuals.

As you might or might not know, I previously handed out some awards to some individuals in the field of entertainment for their expertise in the art of cooning. People, who in fact, probably became American icons because of their cooning capabilities. People like Nipsey Russell, J.J. Walker, Al. Roker, Snoop,....and, well, you get the point. In that post, I also tried to explain the history of cooning and the harm that I think it has done to the plight and the perception of black people in this country. I am probably one of the few people in America who agreed with Adolph Caesar's character, Sgt. Walters, in the movie A Soldiers Story. Because even though he was hard on new recruit C.J. for his constant singing and shuffling, I agreed with him, because I dislike "shiftless lazy niggers" too.

But what I have noticed lately is a new form of cooning. It is an even more dangerous, and destructive form of cooning. Because it is cooning cloaked in intellectualism. This form of cooning hides itself behind legitimacy. And so called conscious thoughts, reasoning, and educated points of views are mixed in with it. The old cooning that Snoop, Nipsey, Martin, and the Wayans brothers do is not as dangerous, because we see it for what it is; entertainment. So although the imagery is not good, statements taking a particular position on important social issues of our day aren't being made, and books aren't being published, and there is no pontification about critical social issues on the nightly cable broadcasts from the Snoops of the world.

But make no mistake, the more dangerous coons are out doing these things. They are on blogs, writing books, on the news, and on talk shows every night. These "Looney Coons" as I like to call them [Sorry Warner Brothers & Walt Disney] are dangerous, and should be watched. Because many of the things needed to advance the cause of the poor and disenfranchised will be taken away because of these people. Why you say? I will tell you why. The people at the think tanks, and the politicians whose job it is to effect social and public policy, listen to these people. And the people who hold the purse strings to many of the private foundations and organizations listen to these people. And when these Loony Coons are making statements about black people needing to pull themselves up, and that we should start praying more, and we should do away with affirmative action, and we should let the free market control prices and.....blah, blah, blah, it effects us all in a negative way. You know the old joke: "If you want to hide something from a nigger put it in a book" Well, unfortunately, some of these Looney Coons found some books, and I will be damn if they didn't just lose their freaking minds in the process.

So without further delay, the top ten Looney Coons in America: (Not necessarily in their proper order.. well, except for Clarence Thomas)


1. Clarence Thomas-Yeah, like I would have anyone else here. (Read prior posts)
2. Thomas Sowell-An economist and so called intellectual who is the darling of the conservative movement. Unfortunately, the phrase compassionate conservative is an oxymoron to him.
3. Jesse Jackson-Why oh why is he still held out as the spokes person for black folks? May I suggest an ambassadorship to Syria?
4. Larry Elder- Someone forgot to tell Larry that the whole shock jock thing is played out now.
5. Cynthia McKinney-Yeah I know you got voted out, but girlfriend you are soooo embarrassing. And yeah, I know that cop that pulled you out of the line is probably a racist SOB, but you are a congresswoman for crying out loud; did you really have to go Russell Crowe on the guy with the cell phone? And memo to you; in the future, please surround yourself with smarter people. If you couldn't beat that Hank Johnson character it might be over for you in politics.
6. LaShawn Barber-Hard to believe I am even mentioning this loser in the same post with far more noteworthy and popular figures. But I must, because I suspect that it won't be long before, like Jessie Peterson, she will be propped up by right wing America to speak on all of our-black folks -behalf. And that my friends would be scary. Because this self hating, so called born again christian, (Whatever that is) thinks that god, and personal responsibility will solve all of our problems. She must have forgotten to pray when she say "Katrina" in the Gulf of Mexico; cause god sure wasn't listening to her or anyone else when that bad boy hit.
7. Ray Nagin-And speaking of Katrina, yeah I know the federal government f#$%*d up. ("Brownie you are doing a heck of a job") But my goodness man, did you have to totally lose it like that? "Tens of thousands dead in the streets of New Orleans.." Like what were you thinking? And your chocolate city remark; that was priceless. Yes I, and every other black person agrees with you, but the f#$%^%g mike was on, so you shut your mouth about stuff like that. You never ever ever let white folks know what we are thinking. Do you think they let us know what they are thinking? No, you shut up next time. So for those and other dumb comments, you are on this list.
8. Kofi Annan- U.N. what a joke! As long as that sh#* is going on in Darfur and your organization continues to sit on your ass, you are a Loony Coon in my book. Yeah you grin and smile a lot with world leaders, but you and your organization is a joke. Nice how you jumped all over brokering a deal and cease fire in Lebanon. Do you think your sorry black ass can try to do the same in Africa? Which by the way, the last time I checked, is where you are from.
9. Harold Ford, Jr.-Every time you talk your position changes, does it mean that much to you to get elected? And a little more about your personal life please Tig...I mean Harold.
10. Don King-You really should have been at the top of this list. You epitomize the Looney Coon character. From your hair, to your permanent grin, not to mention your phony loyalty to George Bush. I know you are a hustler from way back, but when you mix your hustle with political statements it's dangerous.

Honorable Mention:

Al. Sharpton - Rev. I don't know how you missed the top ten. I think I will make you 10A.
Ward Connerly-(See previous posts)
Star Parker-I hate myself, I hate myself, I hate myself, I hate myself.....
Michael Jordon - I will never forgive you for the Jessie Helms fiasco.
Jessie Peterson-(See previous posts)
Michael Eric Dyson-Just shut the F#%& up!
Oprah Winfrey-(See previous posts) Any black book of the month club nominee yet?
Joseph C. Philiips- Is there any agent in Hollywood listening? Joseph needs a job, and quick before he writes another book.
A.M. Tony Clayton- Tony, you are one of my best friends and like a brother to me, but until I hear that you take a deal from a black attorney like you do the white ones; you will stay on this list ;) Oh, and your "Coonie" is in the mail.

Sorry for some of the glitches on the site, but hey, if the field knew anything about computers he would not have gone into a field where he could take as little of the sciences as possible.
The field is out!

19 comments:

Kazembe said...

LOL!!! You nail it Bro! BTW thanks for the link

Aulelia said...

blogger has serious glitches coz each time i try and post on ur blog, it just rejects me.

Aulelia said...

oh blogger is such a wanker! now, it decides to post.

anyway, i'll just write what i wrote bare time ago >> i think if you wrote a female list of 'coon's, our girl O-prah would have to be the top of the list. i know i can't be the only one that cringes whenever she makes her really unfunny jokes on her show and all the white people burst into laughter -- O, they are looking at you as if you were a gorilla in a zoo, trust me!

but what about rev. al sharpton? i thought he was popular amongst black americans? educate me please as transatlanticness means i am lost. if anyone knows who ainsley harriott (british caribbean chef) or derek laud (british jamaican big brother contestant), they are DEFINITE candidates for your list if you did a UK version.

field negro said...

Aulilia, my dislike for Al. Sharpton is more from a personal experience. I actually saw him when the camera was off, and trust me, he doersn't care about black folks as much as he tries to let the world think. Also, he loses credibliity every time he jumps on every issue in America and makes it racil. (Thank God he stayed out of the Duke Lacrosse scandal) I don't want to speak for all black folks, but must of the people in my cirlce are tired of him and his act. He does more for Al, than for black folks.

And you are soooo right about Oprah. Maybe you have to be removed from this country to see it. But I am glad someone else sees it besides me.

Thanks for the UK Coons. I must confess that I don't know anything about them, so you will have to keep me updated.

Maybe you can do a list, (UK version) for your friends on this side of the pond :)

Peace!

field negro said...

Sorry about all the poor spelling, I am dyslectic, and I didn't feel like going over my post :)

Anonymous said...

I didn't disagree with a single person listed. Thank you for including that rhetorical fool Michael Eric Dyson on the Honorable Mention list. I have never understood Al Sharpton's appeal. The Tawana Brawley fiasco should have ended his days of representing anyone, including himself.

The Angry Independent said...

Oh my!!!! LOL

Very nice work... (although I don't agree with everything written). I recently discovered the site.

Nice list. I was pleasantly surprised to see some of those you listed. Ha haaa!!!

Aulelia said...

oh what's this Duke Lacrosse scandal? from what i have seen of sharpton, he seems so loud and boisterous so people like that always have murky interiors >> does he care solely about his ego?

ha, a UK list would include those 2 uppity negros but not that many politicians since black MPS are pretty underrepresented here :(

plez... said...

Yo, Field, the Looney Coons List is PRICELESS. I was pleased to see my Boo - Cynthia McKinney - on the list, but how did Condi Rice get a pass? From her mushroom cloud comments after 9/11 to the endorsement of the invasion and continued occupation of Iraq to her Salvatore Farragamo shoe shopping spree during Hurricane Katrina to her ineptitude during the latest Middle East flare up to her lack of cajones in relation to the Iranian and Korean Nuke 'Em Programs ... ole girl has missed the mark on every major policy decision since she's been W's personal nappy-headed lap dawg!

She must've wandered from the House to bring you some ice water out in the fields during the last heat wave! HA HA HA!

WodaabeMan said...

Yo Field, you seriously overlooked, not the #1 coon, but the #0.1 coon...YOU!! If this blog is your cintribution to the greater good, the you haven't contributed one-one hundredth of half the "coons" on your list. I suggest that you not quit your day job because only in a court of injustice will this shit fly as blogging!

field negro said...

Hey genius, do you really understand what you are posting? You do understand dont you, that 0.1 is les than 1.

Just a thought.

BTW, I don't think I will quit my day job either. But I will contiune to blog, if only to expose morons like you :)

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