Sunday, January 14, 2007

The Stepin Fetchit Awards (The Coonies)

As we approach what would be the 78th birthday of a great American-Martin Luther the King-It is with great sadness and trepidation that the field brings you his semi-annual Stepin Fetchit awards.(The Coonies) Yes folks, in the great tradition of Mantan Moreland, Willie Best, and Stepin Fetchit, I bring you some more Negroes who are embarrassing the rest of us for all of white America to see.

I would like to congratulate some repeat winners like Clarence Thomas, and Cedric The Entertainer. And welcome some new winners to the list, like Paul Mooney, and Condi Rice.

So without further adieu, I bring you the latest winners of the Field Negro Stepin Fetchit awards (The Coonies):

1. Niger Innis- Mr. Innis this award goes to you, not because you are a black Republican conservative, but because like Jessie Jackson does with PUSH, you and your dad sell your organization (CORE) to the highest bidding republican benefactor. Also, when CNBC mistakenly placed Nigger Innis under your name, and profusely apologized to you. Your response was: "Oh God, I thought you guys thought I was a rapper or something" No sir, you are not a rapper, you are a Coon!

2. The Reverend Gary Hamm-Came out in support of the macaca man, George Allen, after Allen's true racial feelings were being exposed for the world to see. So you played football with him, and he helped line your pocket, and hooked you up when he became Senator. Still, you ought to be ashamed of yourself, I don't care how many hook ups he gave you. Don't you still have to look int the mirror?

3. Condi Rice- I tried to avoid this as long as I could. And on some levels I actually like the bad perm lady. But I must put you on this list, if only because you seem to have the Stockholm Syndrome. Like what the f**k? When will you get a back bone and tell the frat boy he is fu****g up American foreign policy? I know you know better, but it's like you have a blind spot for the guy. So for that, and being the frat boy's personal Coon, -he is the most powerful man on earth- you get a Coonie. (By the way, I might have to stop calling you the bad perm lady, your perm is looking much better these days)

4. Paul Mooney- Yeah I know you wrote material for Richard Pryor, and you helped quite a few black comedians get their start in the game, but your masquerading with Michael Richards after his "N" word issues was too much.

5. Clarence Thomas- No explanation needed. With all due respect to my man Plez. ,he will be a permanent fixture on any such list that I have. He might as well build a nice little Coonie trophy shelf in his house now, because he will be getting two a year for as long as I am doing this.

6. La Shawn Barber- This conservative blogger earns my respect and disgust at the same time. A true coon, who might be laughing all the way to the bank soon. I know she can't believe half of the self hate diatribe that she likes to expound upon. Yet it's working. Whites -especially red state white folks- eat her hustle up. She likes to brag that unlike many of us lowly black bloggers she uses her real name. No handle like "field negro", "skeptical brotha", or "free slave" for her, she keeps it one hundred with her white friends. Must work wonders when she tries to get tickets to those sold out NASCAR events. "Hello this is LaShawn Barber, I was wondering if you have any tickets left for tomorrows Talladega 500?" Of course Ms. Barber anything for you, just keep telling it like it is".

7. Cedric The Entertainer- Another repeat winner. Cedric goes on this list because he just keeps getting worse. (Have you seen his latest movie?) The sad thing is, that old Ced doesn't have to go the cooning route, because he has some real talent. Lets hope this brother comes around before it's too late.

8. Fifty Cent-You are a hip hop coon, and your ignorant ass statements and persona have only helped to reinforce stereotypes of what a typical ignorant ass rapper should look and act like. Fifty, please don't think you have made all that money by accident. (Think about it)

9. O.J. Simpson- Just when we thought we had seen the last of this Coon and murderer;desperate for money, he pens a book detailing how he might have murdered his wife and her friend. O.J. please go away.

10. Flavor Flav-I think I saved the best for last this time. Hard to believe that this Coon was at one time a member of one of the most conscious and influential acts to come along in decades. Yet there he is on national television embarrassing himself and his race, by starring in a coon fest called "Flava of Love". Folks, trust me when I tell you, it doesn't get much lower than this show.

That's my top ten for this award folks. As usual, there were some honorable mentions. People like Puffy, Snoop, the folks at BET,Armstrong Williams,Walter Williams,Ray Nagin,Marion Barry,William Jefferson, Arenda Troutman, The Reverend Jesse Lee Peterson,and many more. All contributing to cooning and coonery in America, and to the embarrassment of well meaning black folks everywhere.

Oh, before I go, I want to say good luck to a sister that's fighting the good fight against corruption in Louisiana. Many people forget that even before Katrina there were many corrupt forces at work in the "Big Easy". Katrina has just made it worse. This lady is a whistle blower, and without getting into the details of her case, I will only say that if successful, allot of people will be exposed, and will go down like some of the areas of that great city after Katrina hit.

Check out her story at: Or e-mail her at:

I hope my man over at wesawthat follows up on this, and I want to thank him for bringing this sister's plight to my attention.

Just remember, justice never sleeps!


Julie said...

Too bad the list stops at 10, because Ward Connerly truly deserves a spot. Though I don't completely agree with affirmative action, I was absolutely disgusted that he would encourage and seek out the support of groups like the KKK in order to bring about it's end. He's not about equality for all, he's about exploting the prejudices against people of color for his own personal gain. Any American who embraces a known terrorist group should be arrested for treason. Yet Connerly is going cross-country with his delusional message. On my personal list, this guy is a NUMBER ONE.

field said...

Damn julie,how could I have forgotten about my good friend Ward. Clearly a gross oversight on my part.

I promise you it will never happen again. Like Clarence, he is a life long Coon in my book!

aulelia said...

good list and i for one am glad to see 50 cent on it. he is an absolute embarrassment. ever watched him in interviews? when the words come out of his mouth, he is a living example of what can go wrong with elocution lessons.

black moses said...

the list could prolly go to 100 w/o batting an eye - harold ford posing in front of the confederate flag, black folx joining the minutemen, cbc members voting against net neutrality - but this is definitely a good list. glad to see condi made it, anyone who works that hard in the service of white supremacy deserves a spot.

Anonymous said...

How about some from the world of sports! Terrell Owens, Chad Johnson, Barry Bonds, Tony Parker and many others! These people are becoming more and more embrassing with each dollar they make.

mark said...

Yo Field execellent post. I was listening to that Ward " Coonerlly" today what a jacka@s. I wanted to strangle him.

Please put the good reverends on thier too. Im talknig about Keep hope alive baby daddy and the Perm guy.Someone should kidnapp Permguy(Al Sharpton), cut here "silky hair off, video tape and upload to You tube. Wouldnt that be great.

plez... said...

Even with my brief lapse in judgement (re: Clarence Thomas' heroism on the High Court), I can appreciate and applaud your thorough list of Coonies. And I agree with an earlier comment that there has to be more than 10! Maybe Field needs to give Coonies out in different categories: Politics (Ward Connerly is always a unanimous decision), Entertainment (how can you leave out Michael Jackson?), Sports (I'm sure you wouldn't have much of a problem getting Terrell Owens to shuffle up for his award if the cameras were rolling), Business (whoever is running BET these days), Religion (Creflo Dollar comes to mind), etc.

Christopher Chambers said...

Add "Booker Rising" to that list. And Will Smith, maybe Mike Steele.

field negro said...

I swear we are going to get to the bottom of Christopher's feud with Shay over at Booker Rising:)

But thanks; you all are so right, a list like this could have 100 people.

Mat Johnson said...

I have this image in my head of Clarence Thomas's rec room wall, where four rows of uneven, homemade wooden trophy shelves hold two Coonies for each year. Some of the grinning statues sit on the floor in plastic wrap, waiting for him to hammer up another row.

MIB said...

Hey FN,

I'm not much for lists or awards, especially for acknowledging dubious achievement or notoriety. In its place I propose a system of fines for 'conduct detrimental to African-Americans'. Repeat offenders and/or particularly egregious violators would have their Black passes permanently revoked.

Sister Yeye Akilimali Funua Olade said...

Brother,don't know if you received my post just now-here goes again.Condi should make the list for in her interview with Essence,Sept.2006 she shows she loves slavemaster bush more than she loves her Black self!Reminds me of what Brother Malcolm X said about the house negro.I'm praying for the Sister to get an Afro and shock all of us!As a Sister who has gone "back to Africa" to raise 4 of my 5 children as culturally based Yoruba children, I don't fail to keep up with what's happening with my Brothers/Sisters in amerikkka!
Your Sister in Yorubaland,Nigeria,
Yeye Akilimali Funua Olade

field negro said...

Thanks for checking in sister yeye, and congrats on your trek back to the "motherland". I will definately check out your site.


Cocoa Goddess said...

You are now my favorite blogger! LMFAO! This was the best post ever!

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