"Cooning is a verb derived from the word coon. A coon was/is a person of African decent whose sole purpose was/is to entertain white people. These 'coons' started out as wearing black face, characterized by having big eyes and painting big red lips on their face. These people would tap dance, play instruments and sing. Modern day coons are blacks who play stereotypical roles and black entertainers that promote ignorance.Cooning is someone is acting like a 'coon'."
~~Urban Dictionary~~
Folks, I am seriously retiring the "Coonies". I hate to do it, but I already have my daily Field Negroes and Lawn Jockey alerts. So, as a result, I don't think we need the Coonies anymore. The house Negroes among us have more than enough awards among themselves to go around. Hell, Clarence could build a shelf in his home to store all of his hardware.
Folks, I am seriously retiring the "Coonies". I hate to do it, but I already have my daily Field Negroes and Lawn Jockey alerts. So, as a result, I don't think we need the Coonies anymore. The house Negroes among us have more than enough awards among themselves to go around. Hell, Clarence could build a shelf in his home to store all of his hardware.
But before I officially hang up the Coonies; I am moved to recognize some life long coons; black folks among us who have taken cooning to whole other level. So, in their honor, I have decided to present the Lifetime Coonie Achievement Awards. This award is for the coons who have become a part of cooning lore.
But please, once again it is important to keep in mind -- with all due respect to the Urban Dictionary-- that cooning is not always singing, jigging, and making a fool of one's self. (See Eddie Griffin) There can be intellectual coons as well. Coons who might as well be jigging and singing, because the shit they prattle about on a regular is a joke. Sadly, it promotes just as much ignorance, albeit in a different way. (See Thomas Sowell)
So, without further adieu, I present my Lifetime Coonie Award winners:
1. CLARENCE THOMAS: The good justice recently wrote a book, which once again, put him on the national stage. Frankly, I have said everything that I am going to say about the affirmative action poster boy. So Clarence, make room on your shelf for one more Coonie.
2. WARD CONNERLY: Speaking of affirmative action. This brother has made it his mission in life to do away with programs that create an equal playing field for all A-merry-cans. He is from Cali, and I suspect that he has been in the California sun just tad bit too long. Like my favorite uncle, he hates his own peeps, and.....well... let's just say that they have other things in common.
3. LASHAWN BARBER: This one is personal to me, because Ms. Thing banned me awhile ago from her site, which is what made me get my own blog. I suppose I should thank her, but she is still a major coon.
4. THE TOM JOYNER MORNING CREW: This one hurts, because they actually do some good things. But honestly; what the fuck is so funny?
5. SAMMY DAVIS: Sorry Sammy, that whole rat pack shit was kind of cool and all that, but you were always the happy black guy. A posthumous Coonie for you.
6. FIFTY CENT: That shit you do is not hip hop, and it's not gangsta rap; it's cooning plain and simple. But it made you lots and lots of money, because A-merry-ca loves her coons.
7. BOBBY MCFERRIN: Sometimes one simple act can get you coon immortality. "Don't worry be happy"? Negro please!
8. GEORGE FOREMAN: Your grill might be all that, but I am sick and tired of that big goofy smile. Smoking Joe should have knocked your ass out in Kingston back in 1972.
9. JIMMIE J.J. WALKER: J.J., I know your family had some hard times in the projects, and they needed a little comic relief. But, damn it man, everything wasn't DYNOMITE!
10. NIGER INNIS: Like father like son. Who can forget what this coon said when CNN mistakenly called him "Nigger" Innis"? "Oh I though you guys thought I was a rapper or something.." Now that's classic coon behavior.
HONORABLE MENTION:
Jesse Lee Peterson: You are not popular enough just yet to be a major coon, but you have all the other coon credentials.
Snoop Dog: OK, true confessions, the only reason you are not up there with "fiddy" is because I like your flow. But all that glorification of the pimp culture is definitely coon behavior.
Jason Whitlock: Jason, you don't quite have the body of work yet, but you are getting there.
Jason Whitlock: Jason, you don't quite have the body of work yet, but you are getting there.
D.L. Hughley: It's a fine line between Richard Pryor and Eddie Griffin. Guess which side you are on?
Robin Quivers: All those years as Stern's side kick, putting up with his sexism,racism, and over all ignorance, makes you a major coon.
Angela McGlowan: Bamboozled huh? You are a big time coon, but one book doesn't qualify for major coon achievement status.
Tony Clayton: Long before Jena this infamous Louisiana DA was putting brothers away for notches in his belt. And, yes, he is black.
54 comments:
What annoys me about Angela McGlowan is that I'm already starting to see Angela in the same light as Ann Coulter. It's like getting an international Barbie set with Anne as Barbie, Bill O'Reilly as Ken, then other nationalities like Angela and Michelle Malkin, and Jason Whitlock.
In New York, we've replaced tokens with metrocards. There's nothing to replace these people yet?
I have really been asleep a long time. I can't see Niger Innis leader of CORE, the one I remember.
This is a quote of his from Wikipedia,
Niger has called protestors
against ExxonMobil's actions in
the third world "the anarchists,
socialists, communist types of
the 1960s".
Those types in CORE that help secure voting rights in Mississippi and Alabama were called by white supremacist; communist, socialist and northern extremist. I wonder if he listened to tapes of that time would he hear his own words.
I don't know, I think Jesse Lee should get a Lifetime award too man. Jesse Lee Peterson is the first Black Person Fox News calls when they want a black face to agree with them and a race issue. He's so bad that I remember there have been a couple of times when he's said something so messed up that Hannity has looked at him like "Dude...you can't be serious?" and if you got Sean Hannity telling you to slow your roll...you got problems.
Sammy Davis Jr. was no coon Field. You might have to rethink that one bro. he was the ultimate tripple threat.
I have something that I think should be tossed around the Afro Spear:
” John Edwards: Shouldn’t Black America Take a Closer Look?”
check it out at
www.thoughtmerchant.wordpress.com
Thought Merchant
"In New York, we've replaced tokens with metrocards. There's nothing to replace these people yet?"
Classic! Metrocoons anyone?
Hathor, Niger and his dad have come a long way to coondom. Yes they do have some issues.
kriss, I would really have loved to put JLP up there. But he is just not popular enough yet.
Don't worry though, with the FOX machine behind him, he soon will be.
If you retire the coonies, the coons won't retire and this work will fall to the next generation. Can't you make a Handy Dandy Do-It-Yurself Guide to the Coonies. You could post it or send it around...it's a legacy project!!
I went on Lashawn Barber's site just to see who this person is. She has a photo of her and Clarence Thomas, smiling away. 'Nough said, you don't lie.
I am so glad someone else said it first; Sammy David Jr. was the best. Yeah, he came off as happy-go-lucky, but so did Sinatra and Martin. It was the act those three had going on. SDJ made good music, and he projected an image of a sophisticated, suave black man... exactly at the time when racists were arguing that blacks were the opposite. Field, put me down as Vote #2 to take him off the list.
Jimbo
"Field, put me down as Vote #2 to take him off the list."
Yes "thought merchant" Sammy was a triple threat, and Jimbo, I feel you, but..... I don't know, I have to think about this one a little more.
Snoop having women of color on dog leashes, on a red carpet for the world's media, makes him a major coon in my book. I would rank him with or above Fiddy on the list, although Fiddy is no slouch in the coonery dept.
No Debra Lee or Tracey Edmonds? These women at least deserve dishonorable mention.
Why didn't Condoleezza Rice make your list? At least a "dishonorable mention"?
No no no!
How in the world could snoop dog and ole' Jesse Lee not make the full list???
They definitely deserve to be on there before McFerrin or Sammy Davis Jr.
Sammy was (and always will be) cool!!! I don't care what anybody says.
And McFerrins father was a St. Louisan...His dad was also a trailblazer for us in the World of music... It's a shame that most don't know the musical history of that family. But McFerrin Sr. knocked down a lot of doors. I don't see how McFerrin Jr. can be labeled because of one song...
It takes more than that to measure a man IMO. Who knows what kind of work he may be doing for others behind the scenes...in his own community.
But as for the others... you have a much larger body of work to go by to make your argument.
The rest of the list is o.k. :).
And we are keeping them coming in younger and younger versions.
Soulja Boy Crank Dat Lyrics
Im to fresh up in this bitch
Watch me shuffle
Watch me jig
Watch me crank my shoulder work
Super man that bitch
Not to mention the "Super man dat hoe".
Know what you are singing...
Field,
a few more you might want to consider:
Armstrong Williams
OJ
Diddy
Ken Blackwell, the former Ohio Secy of State
Now I know OJ doesn't really do much for black people...but i can't call him a coon just because I can't think of anyone in recent years that makes white people as mad as OJ. I like going to white bars wearing a throw back Simpson Bills jersey just to see them get mad.
"No Debra Lee or Tracey Edmonds? These women at least deserve dishonorable mention."
~Duva~
"Armstrong Williams
OJ
Diddy
Ken Blackwell, the former Ohio Secy of State"
~LJ~
All good ones, and definitely worthy of consideration.That Debra Lee and the whole BET fiasco...mmmm she might be leading the pack of those that didn't make it.
A.I., I am sorry, I am sure there is some positive history with Mr.McFerrin. In fact, he lives in Philly now, and I actually know that he does some good things here. But that song..I am sorry, that was just too powerful on quite a few different levels.
And please believe that it hurt not putting JLP on my main list. But honestly, just how popular is that guy? Snoop? Well I explained why I didn't put him on, but he does deserve to be there as well.
UMM, what happened to:
Tyler Perry (Yes, I said it)
Armstrong Williams
Starr Parker (she has stated that the "Bell Curve" guy is her hero, not to mention she is Lashawn's "favorite person in the whole world"!!!)
Juan Williams
Al Sharpton (I'm sorry, but that perm KILLS me)
Alan Keyes
95% of Southern rappers (it pains me to say it!!!)
Bobby and Whitney (Remember that coonfoolery of a reality show?)
Finally, the Steppin' Fetchit Award for the most embarrising black person in the world.....FLAVA FLAV!!!! (Enough said)
I don't know Field; you may have to rethink retiring the coonies. There's a coon born every minute!!!
I remember watching a documentary on PBS that stated that Sammy dj was not allowed to stay in the same hotel he was scheduled to perform for white folks. I don't care how talented he was. where was his dignity? I nominate wayne brady too!
On the other hand I think it is better to be a coonie than some lazy a$$ laying around doing nothing.
"On the other hand I think it is better to be a coonie than some lazy a$$ laying around doing nothing."
august, that would be a House Negro.
"southern girl" you had some good ones. FLAV was saved because of his body of work with PE :) Wayne Brady... I don't know, dude has been trying to keep it real lately.
But you all are killing me with people I didn't consider. Oh Lawd there are so many of our folks out there holding us back :)
Not the Tom Joyner morning crew???? Since "a merry heart does good like a medicine" can they get happy credit for makin us smile in the a.m. on the way to the cotton field?? I'll trade the TJMS for Isiah Thomas and Starr Jones?? Come on, what do you say?? You know you wanna!!!
Bobby and Whitney (Remember that coonfoolery of a reality show?)
Finally, the Steppin' Fetchit Award for the most embarrassing black person in the world.....FLAVA FLAV!!!! (Enough said)
It might be coonfoolery, tomfoolery and foolywang but I'm not sure I have ever laughed as much as when I watched those shows ... except for I Love New York ... That show was my favorite "cartoon" of ALL TIME!
Just wanted to thank you for House Negro Donald Washington -see, I told you he was Black. Put him on that Lawn too. :)
Field
I've had it with that house negro too! Put his ass on the lawn!
FOLKS, PLEASE WATCH THE VIDEO ON THIS LINK
SEEMS THIS 15 YEAR OLD GIRL GOT OUT OF LINE (CURFEW VIOLATOR) AND HAD TO BE SUBDUED BY ANY MEANS NECESSARY.
MY ONLY QUESTION IS THIS: IF THIS INCIDENT HAPPENED IN JULY, WHY ARE WE JUST NOW HEARING ABOUT IT?
No comment on this post, but this sidebar reference exposes an abomination and what I would consider flat-out torture of a child at the hands of a person who doesn't belong in law enforcement.
Any idea on the outcome of this horror, field?
Hugh aka Repairman
rikyrah, thanks for turning me on to that brother. Hey you know I will give you your propers when you are right. Youn know what's scary? I think I went to law school with that cat.
And yes justice58 he belongs on the lawn :)
Sorry lisa, I like a little humor in the AM too, but come on, at some point all that grinning and cooning gets to be a bit much. I am not feeling you on Isiah. Is he an idiot? Yes he is. But a coon? I am not so sure.
Boy this cooning thing sure can be subjective can't it?
hugh, the police department is saying the officer acted properly. (@#$%^&*&) I think the young--I take that back, the child-- has a court date coming up this week. We will see what happens.
Trust me, I am all over this story.
Thank you for finally putting Robin Quivers on blast.
X
If not Flava Flav, Than the embodiement of strong, smart african queens everywhere, New York from the Flava of love should go on the list.
Also, Larry Elders belongs on the list. And a posthumous Coonie belongs to the late Nell Carter. I could never stomach "Give me a Break'.
@Wildmagnolia, I second your comment about Robin Quivers
JG from NY
JG, again
Here is a notable group that has truly earned great big COONIE,
about half to three quarters of the hip hip artists that appear on MTV's Crips, with a special Coonie to the Ying Yang Twins.
I have nothing against the artists showing of their material possesions, but how many times do I have to see their Scarface DVDs, bottles of Crystal,and six figure coleection of cheap looking lewelry? It would be nice to see someone w/ a library of books they read or even a framed college degree
I know you're accepting nominations for people to win the "Coonie" awards, Field, but how about a publication?
I hereby nominate Ebony magazine, because they always run fluff pieces on every person named here, and they always include them in their "100 Most Influential Black People" when the reality is, they haven't done anything but "coon" for massa while collecting a fat pay off for being House Negroes Extrordinaire.
You also forgot "Screaming A." Smith for his recent cooning. He should have gotten dishonorable mention...
Nell Carter? No way.
And as for the arrest of the 15 year old. That was a legitimate use of force.. To the untrained eye....to the avg person who doesn't have use-of-force training, everything looks like abuse.
Blacks freak out whenever they see another Black person being arrested (legit or not...it never matters). The post Rodney King era is a bitch for anyone who is a police officer. (which is why I walked away from the blue uniform in St. Louis). I'd have a nice career by now if I would have taken the opportunity but I didn't want to put up with the bull. Not every arrest = abuse.
He could have taken her to the ground. But he didn't... He also wanted to make sure that he got the arrest on video because he knew about the racial backlash.
She was not pepper sprayed for a curfew violation. She was sprayed because she decided to fight, bit the officer, and would not follow the verbal commands. She is given verbal commands and warnings throughout. A shot of spray to the face is often used as a way to get compliance. And the pepper spray is non lethal....looks dramatic when used though...especially when the recipient is animated.
What I want to know is where were the parents of this 15 year old?
Black folks seldom ask that question.
I was waiting for someone to post this video and scream "Rodney King". lol
And the "analysis" provided by the blogger of the linked site, shows that the writer doesn't know what the hell they are talking about regarding basic law enforcement procedure.
And things must be slow at these national news networks... They don't have enough real news to talk about, so they post every amateur video that they can and create stories around them to boost ratings. It's sad... but it shows how lazy Mainstream reporting and journalism has become in this country. It's not that there is no real news to report (there is plenty out there), it's just that the producers and reporters are too damn lazy to go out and find real stories.... whatever happened to good investigative reporting?
If they can still get their paychecks and make the same amount of money creating filler stories... why not sit in the office and do nothing? They can simply post a couple of amateur vids... a few I-reports...and make a story out of it.
You're missing Uncle Ruckus. Never before has one coon done so much cooning in such a small amount of time. Fictional character, yes, but still amazing.
Okay Angry Independent---
"Blacks freak out whenever they see another Black
person being arrested."
--Oh, and you know THIS why? Have you taken a poll? Visited every black family in America? Stood on a street corner with a sign in sheet?
"The post Rodney King era is a bitch for anyone in law enforcement."
--And why is that? Did that mean video of Rodney being almost beaten to death blow some fun assed cop culture of anybody being abused by cops just sucking it up. Broomstick up the ass--"Take it." Multitudes of bullets shot at an unarmed man--"Quiet now."
"I'd have a nice career now if I'd taken advantage of the opportunity but I didn't want to put up with all the bull."
--Ahah, hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahah.
After reading your comments--I doubt it.
I love when (ex)cops always come out to defend other cops. It's hilarious I mean really they talk about how the "criminals" they apprehend need to be accountable for their actions. But cops are never ever held accountable for their actions WTF.
That cop set the girl up for pepper spraying, honestly he must of outweighed her by at lease 110lbs yet he was acting like he just couldn't handle her at all. I mean he clearly dwarfed the child lol.
He took the time to make sure he was on camera, turned on his mic, positioned her just right to get the best shots lol.
He was really in a life or death situation and then he gets nipped it happened in the blink of the eye. To hear his side she almost bit off his hand hilarious.
Then he punches her.
I thought the courts were supposed to punish people??
I don't have any real problems with the list. I do have one request, though- could someone, anyone...please tell D.L. Hughley what the phrase "zero-sum proposition" really means?
"But cops are never ever held accountable for their actions WTF."
And when did I say this? You've never read that from me. I have highlighted Police abuse on my site... many times. I don't defend crooked cops. Despise them actually.
I was simply pointing out that in THIS particularly case, there was no excessive force. The "Rodney King" hysteria in this case isn't warranted.
I knew I would get this reaction when I posted. It has become an automatic response in the "Black community". There is never an acceptable use of force, regardless of the situation.
On one hand I understand the frustration among Black folks regarding Police, and they have good reason to be skeptical (Police have provided plenty of reasons), but I would like to see Black folks think more critically...rather than fall back on the knee jerk reactions that are so common.
It was probably pointless for me to try to bring up use of force procedures in this environment... it's a concept that people are not receptive to and probably never will be receptive to.
Black folks (many) already have their minds made up about Police...and anything having to do with this screwed up Justice system we have. This is the kind of divide that has allowed the "stop snitching" sub culture to thrive in so many Black neighborhoods across the Country.
Sorry... I don't always tow the line.
"Sorry... I don't always tow the line."
A.I. I respect your independent streak,and your willingness not to follow the group think. But sometimes the group think is actually right. I have looked at this tape over and over again, and I am sorry, but I just can't see any justification for the officer's actions.
Now to be fair, I have no background in this type of law enforcement, and I have no idea what proper police procedures are in Ft. Pierce Florida. But just to my untrained eye it all looked pretty messed up. Like someone previously posted, the officer must have outweighed this girl by over 100 pounds. It just seemed to me like he went over-board.
Hey, I have to be honest; when I see a black child treated in this manner it pisses me off. And I always have to wonder if she was a child of the majority she would have gotten the same treatment.
But you said it A.I., we have a "screwed up justice system" which makes many people of color think the way they do. And if that's the case, shouldn't we be working to change it?
I always thought Don't Worry Be Happy was supposed to be ironic, I kind of remember Bobby McFarrin saying as much back in the day.
Just went over and watched that video and you are right, he does obviously outweigh and probably could have easily subdued her. If he never wanted to work again. She was obviously resisting and he was obviously trying not to use his 100 pound advangtage to break her freaking arm. He did not position her just to spray her, she had just bitten him.The punch seemed instinctive and then he thought about his pepper spray as a less physical tool. We should be teaching our young people that if they are being arrested it's because they are going to jail and resisting won't change that, it will just get them hurt. No excuses for not submitting to this officer's rightful authority to stop her on a curfew violation. No excessive use of force that I saw, and I am not a retired officer, I am an active classroom teacher.
Poppi
saw your attack on Rush Limbaugh...he is an idiot entertainer...but the attack was based on something he was making a legitimate grievance about:
http://www.townhall.com/Columnists/WalterEWilliams/2007/10/10/attacking_talk_radio
The point is he was in full control of the situation and should have ended it before it escalated.
Who was the professional here?
Seems like to me the officer was putting on a show.
The punch was instinctive, huh, then so is resisting when in pain.
It's not instinctive to hit people weaker then you, it is malicious and shows a lack of respect that should not be tolerated.
Hell I was tought to never hit girls and I would never dream of punching a 15 year old girl for any reason.
Police should strive to gain the respect of the people they are supposebly there to protect and serve, it would make their jobs so much easier.
Videos like this do not help the police.
This sista hates to call out a former sista, but Queen Latifah?
Bring Down the House was COONTASIC!
I'm tired of calling Queen Latifah - Queen Latifah. I don't feel she deserves that title anymore, so we should call her Dana Owens, because Queen Latifah made songs like U-N-I-T-Y, Who you calling a bitch?, Ladies First, and Latifah's Had It Up to Here-hell. I've had it up to here. Dana Owens has made or produced films like Bringing Down The House, Cookout. The Queen was a strong, proud, black woman... Dana is cooning, and has somehow sold her soul sista 1# I.D Card.
I have to chime in about the police brutality.
I never worked as a cop, but I did work in a psych hospital.
The way a person in "authority" acts has as a tremendous impact on any potentially volatile situation.
People are afraid of the Police, and it's not just black people. Everyone I know be they white, black, short, tall, skinny, fat, whatever is afraid of the Police.
That's not how it should be, but that's the reality the Police created. Instead of wanting people to respect them, they want people to fear them. Fear and respect are not synonyms.
My scrawny ass was able, numerous times, to calm down people who were psychotic without ever putting my hands on them. The reason is because I established a relationship with the patients, and treated them like human beings.
They respected me, and I respected them, therefore they were more willing to listen.
This notion that we should feel sorry for "poor poor Johnny" is bullshit.
Police created this mess with the way they treat people. I've had several negative encounters with the Police, and I'm white and grew up in an upper middle class neighborhood. (One time I got thrown against the back of my car because I beeped my horn at someone who almost hit me).
They treat everyone like shit, and then wonder (Disingenuously) why people despise them.
The Justice Department investigated several police forces around the country in the 90's and found many of them were hiring recruits who either tested as anti-social or were leaning in that direction.
Part of the reasoning is people who are anti-social are fearless. And they are not bothered by that little thing we call a "conscience."
Yes, I'm sure being a Police Officer is stressful, and they come across some dangerous human beings. But so do teachers, counselors, Psychiatrists, Psychologists etc etc, and none of them are allowed to bash people with flashlights or pepper spray them.
When people have weapons or permission to use physical force, they are more apt to reach for those methods first.
Why should I try and reason with a person when I can pepper spray them and shut them up?
That's my humble opinion. You reap what you sow.
And thanks for the link Field.
Oh, great list, but I agree that Condi at least needs to be an "Honorable Mention."
She referred to Chimpy McStagger as her "husband."
Yeah, you didnt have a lot of women on this list, I wonder why? Do women not get the same amount of press as men? Are our words not as effective?? Hmm.
L
lola, at least I had three. But you are right, one out of ten on the top ten is pretty pathetic.
Hey, maybe you guys are smarter that us men :)
This fool here is worth keeping this Award alive FOREVER.
http://www.detnews.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=/20071012/METRO/710120405&imw=Y
Social Coon of the Century wanted to host a party where "light skin" black women get in free and airbody else gotsta pay.
I shoulda been a brain surgeon. This shit requires a medical procedure. Cut, cut, cut!
Under no circumstances should you diss Bobby McFerrin. It is only proof that you have no clue. He is a musical genius and I am dead serious about that. If you have not heard Medicine Man, Bang Zoom or his recent masterpiece Beyond Words, you have absolutely no idea who Bobby McFerrin is, you're just biting a 20 year old Public Enemy lyric.
A lot of hate for the police because of the incident with the 15 year old girl.
Why don't more blacks become police and work in their own communities. Wouldn't that solve the abuse problem?
Fairlane wrote that lots of other professions (teachers, counselors, Psychiatrists, Psychologists etc etc) deal with people without violence, yet none of these people have to incarcerate people against their will.
Yes cobb, Bobby must be dissed. I am familiar with all of his work. Not only on wax but here in Philly as well. And he deserves his coonie; If only for that song.
Sometimes an artist can actually become a victim of his art.
You said it yourself, PE felt moved to write about his song 20 YEARS AGO! And after over 20 years; "don't worry be happy" still drives the A-merry-can mindset.
And for the record; I think I know Bobby a little more than you do ;)
I would like to add the names of Dr. Bill Lathan (brother of Stan Lathan of HBO fame) and Roscoe Orman to this list as house negros. Yes Sesame Street Dad put The Free Southern Theater in his biography in an attempt to paint himself a positive black working for advancement of people of color. He also plays the character Steppin Fetchit in "The Confessions Of Steppin Fetchit", These house negros are cooning their way, they hope to Broadway keep your eyes open for this one...
You forgot will smith and his entire family
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