Cupid is a slick little SOB. And honestly, I never really trusted the little guy. (Cupid is a he, right? Isn't he like the son of Mars or something?)
Sometimes the little asshole will shoot you with that arrow of his when you least expect it. ---Like he did to yours truly a few years back. And sometimes he will just do shit to be funny (Think Janet Jackson and Jermaine Dupree, J Lo and Ben Affleck, or Halle Berry and whoever.)
But you really have to wonder about a guy who wastes his time shooting people like Newt Gingrich and Elizabeth Taylor over and over again with that damn arrow of his, yet he can't find the time to shoot the Protestants and Catholics in Northern Ireland, the Muslims and Christians in Nigeria; the Sunnis and Shiites in Iraq, or the Jews and Palestinians, just once.
And now we have an entire day dedicated to this little asshole. --Like I need a day to be reminded that I have to bring Mrs. Field flowers, or that I have to take her to a really nice restaurant every now and then-- Ladies, if your man only does nice things for you on Valentine's Day, you might have a problem.
Valentine's Day is great if you are a florist or a chocolate maker, but for all of us left vulnerable and exposed to that damn arrow; it's anything but nice. (Hell here in Philly we literally have a love train for folks.) Now before you go ripping me for being all negative, I have some good things to say about Cupid as well: His arrow seemed to have been right on the mark with folks like Michelle and Barack, Will and Jada, and the Augers of Louisiana. So the little sucker doesn't always miss. Sometimes he shoots straight for the heart and hits his mark.
Still, you have to wonder why he doesn't do that all the time. If he did, I wouldn't have a problem giving him a day, a year, or whatever the hell he wanted.
So, for now, I am officially not feeling Valentine's Day. But I am going to wish you all a happy one. Maybe you can put it to better use than I can.
OK, I gotta go. I am still checking with florist online who can deliver by tomorrow. :(
(Originally posted on 02.13.11)