Friday, February 14, 2014

My (not really an) ode to Valentine's Day.

Cupid is a slick little SOB. And honestly, I never really trusted the little guy. (Cupid is a he, right? Isn't he like the son of Mars or something?)
Sometimes the little asshole will shoot you with that arrow of his when you least expect it. ---Like he did to yours truly a few years back. And sometimes he will just do shit to be funny (Think Janet Jackson and Jermaine Dupree, J Lo and Ben Affleck, or Halle Berry and whoever.)
But you really have to wonder about a guy who wastes his time shooting people like Newt Gingrich and Elizabeth Taylor over and over again with that damn arrow of his, yet he can't find the time to shoot the Protestants and Catholics in Northern Ireland, the Muslims and Christians in Nigeria; the Sunnis and Shiites in Iraq, or the Jews and Palestinians, just once.

And now we have an entire day dedicated to this little asshole. --Like I need a day to be reminded that I have to bring Mrs. Field flowers, or that I have to take her to a really nice restaurant every now and then-- Ladies, if your man only does nice things for you on Valentine's Day, you might have a problem.


Valentine's Day is great if you are a florist or a chocolate maker, but for all of us left vulnerable and exposed to that damn arrow; it's anything but nice. (Hell here in Philly we literally have a love train for folks.) Now before you go ripping me for being all negative, I have some good things to say about Cupid as well: His arrow seemed to have been right on the mark with folks like Michelle and Barack, Will and Jada, and the Augers of Louisiana. So the little sucker doesn't always miss. Sometimes he shoots straight for the heart and hits his mark.


Still, you have to wonder why he doesn't do that all the time. If he did, I wouldn't have a problem giving him a day, a year, or whatever the hell he wanted.

So, for now, I am officially not feeling Valentine's Day. But I am going to wish you all a happy one. Maybe you can put it to better use than I can.

OK, I gotta go. I am still checking with florist online who can deliver by tomorrow. :(


(Originally posted on 02.13.11)

47 comments:

Cupido said...

'His arrow seemed to have been right on the mark with folks like Michelle and Barack'

Aren't they getting divorced?

Anonymous said...

Cupid needs to up his game and start shooting Blacks and Whites with a whole lot of arrows to end racism.

Field, I'm surprised you didn't jump on Cupid about this Black/White animosity thing. My God man, we need to love each other and you haven't noticed?

Fisted Porpoise said...

Like everyone else, Valentine's Day is my favorite holiday of the year. It's the one holiday that seems immune to corporate exploitation, steeped as it is in Judeo-Christian tradition. And, as anyone who knows me will readily tell you, I'm all about that old-time religion. Sadly, contemporary culture seems bent on rejecting the ancient teachings of the Bible that have helped to sustain mankind for thousands of years -- particularly the verse in Peruvians 8:42, which tells us, "Honor thine life partner with baubles and sweets and flowers and cards and lavish meals and sparkling wine. Bedeck her in splendorous, yet scant garments that she may wear but once and cast aside never to be seen again. For, should thou forsake such worshipful genuflection, thine ears shall ring with vituperative hectoring forevermore."

Bottoms Up said...

Sometimes the little asshole will shoot you with that arrow of his when you least expect it. ---Like he did to yours truly a few years back.
---
The same happened to me a few years back, when I met the woman of my dreams, the woman with the most beautiful anus in the world.

My lady does not like me to go on and on about her anus, but how can I resist? When I look into that one brown eye, it's like gazing into a deep, untouched lake. Sometimes, it's as if I'm gazing through a taut, puckered window into her very soul, placing myself in danger of being hypnotized by the swirls of her rectum. Her anus is like a vessel I can't seem to fill with enough love, no matter how hard I try. I am not what one would call a holy man, but when I am gently kissing my lady's fragrant anus, I am convinced that there must be a higher power out there who made this sacred aperture.

Whether I see it reflected in candlelight during a romantic dinner or after it has just awaken from a night's slumber, my lady's anus is still as lovely to me as the first time I saw it. My friends say I won't feel the same way about it when it's 60. I disagree. It may lose that youthful glow, but this is the kind of anus that will only ripen with age. As further assurance, I once caught a glimpse of my lady's mother's anus and, as we all know, the apple does not fall far from the tree.

I hope your Valentine's Day is as happy as mine.

PilotX:Freeing Slaves from the republican plantation since the 70's said...

I have totally disregarded VD for years. Ha! I let the wife choose her own day because why have others tell us when we should do things for our significant other? Hallmark and FTD are responsible for this!

Peter Rooter said...

PilotX:Freeing Slaves from the republican plantation since the 70's said...

I have totally disregarded VD for years.
-----

Maybe it's time for some penicillin.

focusedpurpose said...

the defeated sexually deviant demons are out in force tonight...letting folk know all 'bout their little feelings.

lol!

+

awww...;( poor defeated 'lil things...

Shabbath Shalom all.

lilacpr2000 said...

Lord have mercy what a bunch of sour pots!

I thank God, I went to SJ today and we rode all the way there and back laughing and kidding and joking. We had such a great time. You gotta find the pleasure in the moment, the little things! 'cos that is life right there!!! :)

Even the therapy dogs were wearing red! I mean, people, cheer up! If you don't find pleasure in anything the bogey man is gonna give you a heart attack!!!

Y'all need a vacation! Bet if you came down here and hung around with me you'd never,ever,want to leave!

Lawdy, looks like the cold weather has frozen your feelings!!!

Anonymous said...

Preach, LP, you fresh breath of warm tropic air, you! Melt the ice & snow, make it go AWAY!!!

Anonymous said...

VD is bullshit! It has never meant a damn thing to me. My women never expected me to bring flowers or candy. and it's a good thing because that shit is expensive.

I swear, there are weak minded men on this blog. If you are so weak in the heart, why not use it for ending racism? Why not hug your white and black brothers and sistahs?

Field, you are the big R chaser. Why don't you call a "Kumbaya" on Valentines Day?

I'm sure Dunn wants a little love from everyone. And he might get it real soon. I anticipate Dunn will be a free man by Monday, if not earlier.

lilacpr2000 said...

and Field! What a dichotomy you are man!!!

You put up a picture of a warm and loving embracing couple,she with a huge heart of candy! THEN, you start in on the evilness of Valentines!???

I mean, really! If the Mrs. reads all that you wrote, Man! she's gonna throw those flowers back at you!!!Don't even bother getting them! I'm telling you!

I would! I'd say,"if you didn't want to buy them! Why did you??? It's not my intention to make you SUFFER on St. Valentines Day!!! It's SUPPOSED TO BE FUN! Hellooooo!

and then INSTEAD YOU HAD BETTER COOK ME DINNER AND CLEAN UP THE KITCHEN too. I want a sirloin steak and potatoes au gratin, a bay greens salad and....flan, homemade!

and after that, remember and never forget this: I run my bedroom like my office! and If you don't do a good job, you can and will be replaced by a machine!!! X)

AND if you refused, I'd divorce you, so there X( You better be careful....

lilacpr2000 said...

If Fields wife reads what he wrote...he's gonna know what REAL SUFFERING IS X() guaranteed! XD

Hahaha, he's the official St.Valentines Day GRINCH!!!

and that's what I'm calling him from now on! ;p

Hey Field! Why don't you make a T- shirt for your shop: "
I'm the Official Field St. Valentines Day Grinch! I hate St, Valentines! Don't ask..."
a mug too. I'd buy it, just so I could laugh! ;))))

Anonymous said...

Dear Mr Field, I warned you a long time ago about Desert. Now, you got her comments in writing on Valentine's Day.

All I can say is "I told you so."

Dawna said...

Yeah.. some could use a dose of cupid for sure. Hope you had a nice Valentines day Field

Kinky.Con said...

Yeah PilotX. That'll show whitey..

You pick your own day-not the day whitey picks for you!!!!

Do black people hate this day more than they do Columbus day?

The Purple Cow said...

Kinky's a one-trick pony isn't he?

His racism is the only thing that gives his life validity. It's the only thing that gets him out of bed in the morning. He has nothing else to live for.

Think about that for a moment and wonder. What a sad, shabby, depressing little life he leads..

field negro said...

Hey Desert, maybe if we didn't have 12 inches of snow and beautiful weather like u have down there in PR we could have enjoyed VD a little more.

It was all snow blowers and shovels for me yesterday. :(

I agree with PC, Kinky can't even enjoy the most "loving" day of the year without his race horns going up. *shaking head*.

Thanks Dawna, I hope u had a nice one as well..

And I agree with FP, must the perverts even come out on VD? Lord have mercy!

BKR said...

"Kinky.Con said...

Yeah PilotX. That'll show whitey..

You pick your own day-not the day whitey picks for you!!!!

Do black people hate this day more than they do Columbus day?"


I am puzzled about something. Why do white antagonists visit black Web sites? I just don't get it.

That would be like me visiting Stormfront and Stormfront Lite (a.k.a. Fox News) Web sites, when neither like or want nothing to do with them.

I guess they love black people or have an obsession with black sexuality. That's probably it because most of the are f****ts anyway who prowl for gay sex in airport bathroom stalls.

lilacpr2000 said...

field negro said...

Hey Desert, maybe if we didn't have 12 inches of snow and beautiful weather like u have down there in PR we could have enjoyed VD a little more.
It was all snow blowers and shovels for me yesterday. :(
6:23 AM
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Awwww, that's awful! How about why didn't you call the Mrs.and instead have a good snowball fight with her? Roll around in the snow and ENJOY???

There can NEVER be any excuse for not enjoying your life! Especially if you have your health!:)

That prolly would have been the best Valentine ever too ;)

Gotta snatch the joy! Before life snatches it from you...and it will...eventually...


I

Anonymous said...

BKR, "I am puzzled about something. Why do white 'antagonists' visit black Web sites? I just don't get it."

Brotha BKR, you ask a common question by some FN folks on this blog.

The simple straight forward answer is the same. It has been the same for 400 years:

"Because they are 'antagonists' who hate Blacks, want to demoralize Blacks, and want to Blacks off the face of the earth."

That's why they visit websites like FN where the majority of posters tend to be Black.

But don't forget that FN is NOT a black blog. Field welcomes everyone from every walk of life, of every color. That's what makes FN unique. Frankly, I'm glad it's this way.

Bill said...

“Our Constitution declares that ‘all men’ are created equal. Surely this means all of us,” Arenda Wright Allen wrote in her original opinion, issued late Thursday.
http://abcnews.go.com/blogs/politics/2014/02/oops-va-judge-confuses-constitution-declaration-of-independence-in-gay-marriage-ruling/


Hey FN, isn't there a civics or government class you have to pass to become a lawyer?

This sounds more like a jay leno skit asking people on the street questions.

The country is in the best of hands.

Bill said...

Chicago (AFP) - Americans are enthusiastic about the promise of science but lack basic knowledge of it, with one in four unaware that the Earth revolves around the Sun, said a poll out Friday.
http://news.yahoo.com/1-4-americans-unaware-earth-circles-sun-172238500.html


Another great example of the wonderful job government schools are doing.

PilotX:Freeing Slaves from the republican plantation since the 70's said...

Desert, that rolling around snow ball fight stuff may sound good to an island girl but come up to Chicago in -7 F weather and see how long that lasts. One time I threw a snowball at a girl friend when her back was turned because I though it would be funny but she chose that exact moment to turn around and it caught her in the face. I was mortified. After that no more snowball fights with girls. Damn.
I'm with Field on this one, I need one of those grinch t-shirts. Ha!

lilacpr2000 said...

Yeah,I know how cold it can get up there,and how painful it can be! But, I'm a dreamer :D

Colonel Corn said...

Well I learned today on this thread that PilotX is a women batterer who doesn't care that he has VD.

No wonder he is a democrat.

Kinky.Con said...

With apologies to those in the house and in the fields i humbly beg.


‘Knock That White Boy Out’: Arrests Made After Mob Of Teens Attack Disabled Vet

http://cleveland.cbslocal.com/2014/02/14/knock-that-white-boy-out-arrests-made-after-mob-of-teens-attack-disabled-vet/

This could have happen to Michael Dunn...

Maybe this is why Michael Dunn types are firing when ready on blacks?


Anonymous said...

Throwing a snowball when her back is turned! What a douche bag!!1

Kinky.Con said...

Happy v-day y'all. Hope everyone has a safe weekend.

Anonymous said...

Bill said...
Chicago (AFP) - Americans are enthusiastic about the promise of science but lack basic knowledge of it, with one in four unaware that the Earth revolves around the Sun, said a poll out Friday.
http://news.yahoo.com/1-4-americans-unaware-earth-circles-sun-172238500.html


Another great example of the wonderful job government schools are doing.

12:11 PM
---------------------
Bill, what are you trying to say? that everyone should know that the earth revolves around the sun? I mean, who cares?

Besides, that is something scientists should know not a brotha on the Southside. You are asking rather hard questions re: earth and sun.

It proves you are a wingnut with an antagonistic attitude toward Chicago and its citizens. Where the hell are you from?

Professor Palin said...

"Besides, that is something scientists should know not a brotha on the Southside"

Those "brothas" should join the Tea Party. Hanging around with Tea Party members, who have been found to more scientifically literate than democrats, will help them gain a better knowledge of the real world:

http://www.ijreview.com/2013/10/87474-yale-professors-surprising-discovery-tea-party-supporters-scientifically-literate/

Maybe then the ignorance and resentment that keeps Chicago down will begin to be cured.

Colonel Corn said...

In extensive exit polling after the 2008 election, the question that was MOST predictive of an Obama voter was if the voter incorrectly thought that Republicans had controlled Congress for the previous two years. The question most indicative of a McCain voter was if the voter correctly knew that Democrats had controlled Congress for the last two years.

Go figure.

A Black Panther Forever said...

Brother Field.... another Black male gunned down and once again no guilt associated with his death. The attempted death convictions will be overturned most likely. The value of young Brother Davis' life was again demonstrated as ZERO. As a Black Panther I am aware of the values we have placed on our own life. The difference is that our legal system- which should be fair- has not the moral stand to change these laws that allow any act by a Black male could be construed as threatening. Loud music??

When we as a people respect the values of each other.....

PilotX:Freeing Slaves from the republican plantation since the 70's said...

Ha! Desert you better school these fools. As you stated the ladies dig a good snowball fight, especially when you throw it at the butts!

PilotX:Freeing Slaves from the republican plantation since the 70's said...

Aw man, Don Lemon is trying to get his blah card back going off about the Dunn verdict. I'm just surprised they got any charges with folks of a certain persuasion on the jury. Maybe that's progress.

OJ said...

What's the matter negroes? Wasn't Dunn convicted on 4 of 5 counts? There will be a retrial on the fifth, with a much better chance of conviction on the second go-around.

I guess you're all disappointed there won't be any looting going on tonight.

Anonymous said...

"The difference is that our legal system- which should be fair- has not the moral stand to change these laws that allow any act by a Black male could be construed as threatening."

Not any act, but maybe jumping out of the car and saying "I'm going to kill you" could be construed as threatening, ya think?

Whitey's Conspiracy said...

Cupid is Eros (Greek God of sexual desire) Latinized. That's usually a far cry from romance.

A Black Panther Forever said...

When Black kids shoot down white kids and DONT'T get convicted. These laws will be changed..

I have sons and the most anxiety I had was when they went out. Now, they are adults and I still don't trust America when it comes to their reactions to interactions.StillaPanther2

A Black Panther Forever said...

Why do some on this blog continue to fill in the blanks. IF YOUR CHILD THREATEN SOMEONE AND HE HAS NOT A SEEN WEAPON AND SOMEONE GUN HIM DOWN and you think that is right then something is wrong with your thinking. The law was not designed for this basement threshold of deadly responses that we are seeing. The people on this blog that respond with no common sense has not chick or child. If you believe it is alright to mow down someone for making a threat without the means... please go to Florida and test your theories close up.

Ring said...

Black Panther Forever said...

When Black kids shoot down white kids and DONT'T get convicted. These laws will be changed..
------

No they won't:

http://articles.baltimoresun.com/2009-08-04/news/0908030029_1_david-briggs-ring-found-not-criminally

Anonymous said...

A Black Panther Forever said...
" Why do some on this blog continue to fill in the blanks. IF YOUR CHILD THREATEN SOMEONE AND HE HAS NOT A SEEN WEAPON AND SOMEONE GUN HIM DOWN "
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Are you supposed to wait until you see the muzzle flash?

THOUSANDS OF PEOPLE ARE MURDERED BY YOUNG BLACK MALES EVERY YEAR.

Young black males are 75 times more dangerous than any other demographic.

It is completely rational to be hyper vigilant when around young black males.

Do something about the violence your children are inflicting on the rest of society, and the rest of society will stop looking at your children as killers.

GrannyStandingforTruth said...


Anon 8:46,

Well, do you think it is rational to feel the same way about white kids who tend to commit public massacres? I might want to go to a public theater or mall or parade or a school and I'd like to know if I need to carry a gun and stand my ground and be fearful of them.


GrannyStandingforTruth said...

What anon 8:46 basically said is that all blacks look alike to them.
They don't know how to tell the difference between a good kid minding their own business from a "real thug" with criminal intent, so just kill all black kids when you see them and claim syg. ALL black kids are "thugs" in their eyesight. There are no good black kids.

So, I'm wondering if that same logic applies to ALL white kids. Since that is what anon considers rational thinking.

Anonymous said...

Granny doesn't understand statistics.

There are hundreds of times more victims of random inner city killings than the number of victims from the occasional mass shooting.

A black teen is 75 times more likely to commit murder than a white teen.

And, contrary to popular belief, blacks are more likely to be serial killers:

http://www.kevinnelson.com/race-breakdown-of-serial-killers-2-2443

GrannyStandingforTruth said...

Oh, I understand statistics and that it is only a sample with a cutoff number and that it does not include every single black teen in this nation, only a few.

Btw, I truly believe that folks with biases cheat on those statistics and fudge the number too. Sorry, but I never put much faith in statistics because for some reason, no matter what it involves, it always paints whites in a good light.

GrannyStandingforTruth said...

Oops, I meant to say a good and superior light.

Not too long ago, someone claimed that all black women had AIDS and STD, which was some B.S.

Anonymous said...

Granny, "Btw, I truly believe that folks with biases cheat on those statistics and fudge the number too. Sorry, but I never put much faith in statistics because for some reason, no matter what it involves, it always paints whites in a good light."

9:46 PM
-----------------
Mark Twain once said, "There are three kinds of lies: Lies, Damn Lies, and Statistics."