I have the perfect Easter story from a lady named Lauren Casper."I was tired, hurried, frustrated and ready to just go home. My husband, John, was pushing our son, Mareto, in the cart as fast as he could to leave the store before the meltdown got worse. We were frantically trying to open up a cereal bar to stem the tears. Our daughter, Arsema, was strapped to my chest in the ergo carrier watching it all through wide eyes. Sweat beads were forming on my forehead, caused in part by my embarrassment but mostly from the heat and amount of energy I was exerting by running through Trader Joe’s with my 18 pound baby strapped to my chest and my toddler screaming behind me.
I sure didn’t feel like I was going to be in the running for any mom of the year awards. I felt like a hot mess. In fact, I was sincerely hoping no one was looking at us too closely… that somehow we were invisible to the people bustling around us. It was chaotic, exhausting and an unfortunately all-too-common experience for us.
Our family doesn’t exactly blend in with the wallpaper. Not only are we two white parents with a brown son and daughter (something that causes enough stares and questions all by itself), but our son has noticeable developmental delays and different behaviors because of autism, and our daughter has missing and webbed digits. In other words, when we all go out together, we stand out. Usually I don’t mind, and often I love it. My children are beautiful, and so is our story.
Sometimes though, on the days when we’re far from having it together, I do mind. Those days I just want to blend in with the crowd and hide far away from the curious stares. Some days I get tired of it all and just want to be a family — not the adoptive family, not the family with special needs children, not the unique family — just a family. This was one of those days.
I was close to tears as John took Mareto to put the cart away. I rushed through the doors with Arsema on my chest to get to the car as quickly as possible when a voice behind me slowed my steps.
“Ma’am!” she called out. I slowed, hoping and praying she wasn’t talking to me.
“Ma’am!” I stopped and turned to find a young woman rushing toward me. A bright smile covered her face, and I immediately noticed her beautiful black curls, just like the black curls snuggled on my chest, tickling my chin. Recognizing her shirt, I realized she worked there and assumed I must have dropped something. I looked at her, holding back my tears, waiting.
“I just wanted you to have this bouquet…” and I looked down to see the flowers in her hands. She quickly continued to explain…
“I was adopted as a baby, and it has been a wonderful thing. We need more families like yours.” I stared at her, stunned. Hadn’t she seen what a disaster we were in the store? Didn’t she see that we were barely able to keep it together? Didn’t she see what I felt were all my failures as a mom?
As she handed me the flowers I managed to choke out a thank you and tried to express that this meant the world to me. She patted my shoulder, told me my family was beautiful and walked back into the store.
My steps were much slower as I finally headed to the car with my arms full of flowers and tears that had spilled over onto my cheeks. On a day when I felt like we were the worst example of family… a day when I hoped no one noticed us… she did. But she didn’t see what I assumed everyone was seeing. She didn’t think what I assumed everyone was thinking. She saw beauty and love and hope and family. She thought we were wonderful and it made her smile.
I wish I had thought to get her name. I wish I could go back and tell her, two years later, what her gift continues to mean to me today. To the beautiful young woman in the parking lot of Trader Joe’s … thank you from the bottom of my heart. You are a treasure." [Source]
I must be getting soft in my old age. I don't have a single cynical word to write.
Wait, is that a tear?
39 comments:
Oh pleeeease,pleeease! Dry the tear will ya? xD
First of all as a woman and a mother, it immediately strikes me that any woman who cannot handle a little child's meltdown in a store, which happens often, to the degree that she's describing that she feels, AND she has help, she's with her husband, needs a couple of parenting classes and maybe even a little therapy! The husband is with her! Yeezus!
It's not even that she's handling all this by herself, as many, many young women whose husbands are working.
What's her problem? The child is having a meltdown and she can't even manage it? Does she know her child and the reasons for the meltdown?
So instead of handling the situation, they're both racing out the store ?
I'm just glad she didn't fall and crush the baby right along with her!
Cah-razzzzy!
Where did you get that crazy story?
What a lie! Nobody behaves like that Field, c'mon now! xD
ahahahaa!
Wow are YOU nasty! Human beings have hard times, and when other human beings make them better, that's a joy.
Sorry you think this sucks. Your world must be very dim.
Why Churchlady, you astound me! As a Churchlady you should be more kind and loving! and not quite as STUPID!!!
Not only do I not have anything cynical to say about the story, but instead of snapping at the comments above, I'm going to use this occasion to say something I often feel like saying when I read the comments here: When people are nice to one another, it's a good thing.
-Doug in Oakland
You can snap all u want!
Lawd have mercy! Talk about 'behind picket fences' oooowee!
I'm just being real okay?
And this woman remembers about that wonderful kind black young lady YEARS after the fact???
Gimme a break okay?
When somebody does me a kindness I give back in kind and in a timely fashion. and I've always done it even as a harried working mom!
"I'm just being real okay?"
Just being a real cunt.
Oh go to hell you coward! White people (or reasonable facsimiles) that would be u right? are such a bunch of sissies! Living in la la land!
Do you have anything to say other than "cunt". You know what? That's what your face looks like!
Go ahead and slop up that bs. You angry wimp! and good luck with that! That's why America is the way it is because of wimps like you!
Good night. I have better things to do than converse with idiots!!!
I remember when dumbocrats mocked white Mitt Romney for adopting a Black kid.
My how dumbocrats have changed.
Bill maybe if Romney hadn't paraded the kid around, he may have been cut some Dumbocrat slack.
Besides everyone knows that Rethugs use people of color as props for political gain.
PR, dude is a homosexual conservative upset that he can't come out of the closet. He's obsessed with vagina because he's the female in his relationship and is jealous he doesn't have one.
Probably best not to infuriate Dr. Queen. Seems like a real deal wack-job. Best not to respond to a psycho. That will only escalate the confrontations. Just do a search and you'll see this one should be ignored.
Yisheng,
You are clearly confused. Making obviously false claims is eroding your credibility.
W. CLOSSETTE
No I think I hit a closeted homosexual nerve there "boy".
Or it is girl? He-She? "Woman" with a prostate and an Adam's apple?
You know what the problem is on here? That when one states an opinion, rebuttal, to a post, instead of counter debating, the anons will attack the commenter with profanity and foul language.
So instead of debating the idea,the opinion,the thought, they instead just proceed attack the person stating it by calling them foul names.
It's ridiculous! Take the opinion I stated here, what was it countered with? "you're a such a nasty person" "you're a cunt" "you're not being nice to other people"
Hellooo! How about someone trying to CONVINCE ME OTHERWISE THROUGH THE USE OF DEBATE??? Hmmm?
How about maybe dissecting my comment/opinion, point by point, finding perhaps more sources for this particular story? and proving me wrong! That's what debate is all about!
But on here it's all about lets just insult, and this only leads to one countering with a little insult too!
No bueno!
Good night!
"As she handed me the flowers I managed to choke out a thank you and tried to express that this meant the world to me. She patted my shoulder, told me my family was beautiful and walked back into the store."
Field, this is a great story. Thank you for the post. This story stirs the heart and gives hope to those who want to kind and loving.
What makes this story so great is it proves there ARE some humans out there with heart.
However, most are like Lilac and Yisheng....mean-spirited and heartless.
Just think, they are out in full for all the world to see on Easter. Satan must be very pleased. Good work, Lilac.
lilacpr2000 said...
"Oh pleeeease,pleeease! Dry the tear will ya? xD
First of all as a woman and a mother, it immediately strikes me that any woman who cannot handle a little child's meltdown in a store, which happens often, to the degree that she's describing that she feels, AND she has help, she's with her husband, needs a couple of parenting classes and maybe even a little therapy! The husband is with her! Yeezus!"
Wow, no love here. I bet if Lilac and her husband were in the same boat they probably would have shot the kid. Isn't that what you cold-hearted folks do?
Bwaaaaaahaaaahaaa!
Yeah, well Blacks parent differently than Whites. That's the point Lilac is trying to make.
Besides, Blacks don't have two parents in the family. That is superfluous, overkill.The mothers are doing just fine, thank you. That's the point Lilac was trying to make and that's why she believes this true story is a lie....poor thing.
“Some days I get tired of it all and just want to be a family — not the adoptive family, not the family with special needs children, not the unique family — just a family. ”
Typical woman completely oblivious to the consequences of her own choices. What I don’t want to imagine is what her husband must be like to go along with something like this.
Black, autistic and handicapped.
It’s a status whore trifecta.
Anon 12:46am, do you know there were 26000 twitters about this? and 90% understood how she felt? Not ONE said the mother was responsible. Not ONE degraded the father.
Except one: YOU...what a prick you are.
Lilac, Yisheng, and you should have a minajatwa, and then get married. You three are a perfect match.
"What's her problem? The child is having a meltdown and she can't even manage it? Does she know her child and the reasons for the meltdown?"
Lilac, having an autistic kid like this woman's son is challenging. They have out-of-control tantrums that are unlike what other kids go through. Sympathy and/or discipline will not sort it out.
If you found yourself constantly dealing with this sort of issue, you might understand why this woman is a little frazzled.
Maybe you want to walk a mile in her shoes before deciding she is some kind of spoiled, attention-seeking martyr.
Maybe in that case she might want to use her common sense and not take an autistic child to a place where he will be overstimulated. And maybe if she really, really, really has to take him there she should devote all of her attention to him and leave the baby with a sitter. When you have special needs children you have to live accordingly. Not race through stores with both of them like a dingbat!
"I remember when dumbocrats mocked white Mitt Romney for adopting a Black kid."
It's funny you remember that, because it didn't happen.
What did happen is that Melissa Harris-Perry and her chums made fun of the Republican Party for having about the same level of diversity as the Romney family (i.e., 97 white people and one black person).
Then Republicans decided to pretend they had actually been making fun of Romney's grandson -- which was never the case. He was vehicle for delivering that joke, not the target of it. (Unless the viewer is too stupid to understand how jokes work, which I'll admit many conservatives are.)
This was yet another typical case of phony right-wing victimhood. If MSNBC had had any guts at all, they would've had Melissa Harris-Perry flip her critics the bird on live TV, rather than give them an undeserved apology for an insult she never made.
"Maybe in that case she might want to use her common sense and not take an autistic child to a place where he will be overstimulated."
I see. If you have an autistic kid, you must live in a cave and never leave, even to buy groceries. Because that's a completely easy lifestyle for anyone to achieve.
Man, you are all heart.
"Black, autistic and handicapped.
It’s a status whore trifecta."
Yes, everyone's doing it these days. It's either a Maserati, or orphaned, disabled children.
Those show-offy, egotistical bastards. How dare they flaunt their decency in front of everyone?!
Anon...you give us a name we can converse with, or drop in the drain.
"(Unless the viewer is too stupid to understand how jokes work, which I'll admit many conservatives are.)"
We're talking about Bill here. The dumbest poster to grace FN. Be kind to him, he's developmentally challenged.
She shouldn't have been running out of the store because her baby was having a meltdown, that's what babies do. The same with people who get twisted about babies crying on airplanes, IT'S A BABY! Now if a 24 year old is melting down and crying then we have problems. They grow up really quickly so just accept the fact that your baby will cry from time to time and it should keep the stress level lower.
i hand the baton to lilacpr.
We cannot be 'reasonable', find solutions or treat each other with a minimum amount of dignity in our TYPED words.
I'm saddened. We are supposed to aspire to better levels, yet we always fall backwards.
I'll stick to sports, family and movie categories. I'll keep moving further into the suburbs, play golf, vacation away from the issues as if they didn't happen; right alongside my friends who offer me a pseudo kinsmanship of being a neighbor.
We will worship on diet Christianity of Joel Osteen remixed with Tony Robbins, support only gifted kids and act as if we cannot relate to the suffering of others.
I tried to encourage a more perfect union, risk free on a FN blog. I thank you all for your comments. Have a good week!
Sincerely,
Leader of the Autobots
Bill has a severe case of PPS. (Partisan person syndrome) How he made this story about politics is beyond me.
Don't have kids, so I can't imagine what anyone with kids go through. Actually, I can. Every now and then I find myself in a situation where I have to spend time with one, and I am always pleased when I can give her back.
So yeah, it's a tough job.
And lilacpr, u are right; debating is a lost art.
Yīshēng said...
Bill maybe if Romney hadn't paraded the kid around, he may have been cut some Dumbocrat slack.
Since when is taking a family picture "parading the kid around'?
The stupid is strong in this one...
Yeah right, a photo that just happened to get leaked to the public.
The "oopid" is obvious in that thing....
"She shouldn't have been running out of the store because her baby was having a meltdown, that's what babies do. The same with people who get twisted about babies crying on airplanes, IT'S A BABY!"
Reread the story. It wasn't her baby that was crying. It was her older son who was having the meltdown. He may still probably be freaking out in public this way when he is fifteen -- because he's got mental issues.
People are making this into a story about the ordinary difficulties of parenting, but it's not. Parents of disabled kids have some additional burdens to deal with.
As to whether the parents should've been hustling their kids out of the store, there is no way to know whether this was an appropriate response unless you were there. It depends on how badly the son was freaking out. The parents were trying to be considerate to others. (Obviously, on an airplane, there's no way to leave, so the rest of the passengers just have to grit their teeth and deal.)
Yīshēng said...
Yeah right, a photo that just happened to get leaked to the public.
Except it wasn't leaked to the public.
The stupidity
is strong in the fields.
15 things Black Folks don't do:
http://madamenoire.com/327950/things-black-folk-dont-do/?gclid=CMKTsMXn4sQCFUWVfgoduEYAJg
Anonymous said...
15 things Black Folks don't do:
http://madamenoire.com/327950/things-black-folk-dont-do/?gclid=CMKTsMXn4sQCFUWVfgoduEYAJg
7:19 PM
---------------
ROFL! I am laughing because most of it is true. Brother Field, please do a post about this.
Field, "I must be getting soft in my old age. I don't have a single cynical word to write."
Brother Field, as one ages, one of two things happen:
1. You become hardened, callous and insensitive.
2. You become softer, more pliable, compassionate and kind.
Be thankful you are #2. Most are #1, esp our people. Look at Lilac's comments and Yisheng. There isn't an ounce of compassion between the two of them.
First thought was,"Man, these folks have no idea what they have gotten into?" Adoption, special needs, and race!
As far as handling badass kiddos in the grocery store, sometimes kids are going to behave how they are going to behave. My own father would disagree with a belt waiting at home:). Kids develop differently. I have three boys, two are "well behaved" and one is, well, a little crazy a lot of the time. Same environment. Now with an autistic kid (my newphew is autistic), parents have even less control over meltdowns and are especially sensitive to rude remarks by folks who haven't experienced it.
I can relate to the stares because I experience it. Most the time folks are curious and it's no big deal. But catch me on a bad day! Saturday I took my kids to a class with zero parking, took an hour travel time, hubby took the car the were snacks in, it's nap time for the toddler, add PMS, and Houston we have a problem! We walked in and everyone stares. I wanted to turn around and go home. But then a random dad helps my son change into his uniform and a mom helps by joking about the teen boy funk from the previous class. That's what good people do, they help each other.
I get where this mother is coming from. If this family didn't know before, they now know that having an autistic child can be isolating and the race issue is so thick you can cut it with a knife.
I showed my son the image and asked him to tell me what he sees and he said,"A mommy, a daddy, and a kid, and another kid." :)
The two of them look like crazy people.
The woman is anorexic.
I believe the white woman's story. There is a magazine called, Baltimore's Child, that advocates never offending shoppers with tantrumning children. They seem to think instead of hurting shoppers feelings with out of control kids, or kids feelings by setting limits with strong words, standing in a store corner, smacking etc. It would always be best to teach the kid victory by running like a beaten donkey with tail(tired,sick,belligerant kid) between legs.
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