Musing From My Barber's Chair

Today I headed to my barber to get that straight razor on my dome. (The Bic throw aways can only go so far) Of course, while in my man's chair, I had some thoughts.

So here are a few of the things that were running through my mind today:

What the hell is wrong with Tim Hardaway's ignorant ass? Not only is he a homophobe, but he is a stupid one at that. He goes on a popular sports program in South Florida and declares to the world: "I hate Gay people". My brother, maybe you should reconsider your position. Especially given the fact that your ass belongs to a class of people that ain't exactly loved, if you know what I mean. All those NBA dollars must have made you lose touch with reality. You have nothing to fear from Gays. It's that straight ass white man that's sitting next to you that your ass better start worrying about.

And while we are talking about foot in mouth. Did the Prime Minister of Australia, John Howard, really suggest that Barack Obama is the Al Qaida candidate? Or some such dumb ass thing. Mr. Howard, may I suggest that you "slip another shrimp on the barbie" and shut the f**k up!

I am thinking that now all of a sudden the MSM has grown some, and are starting to get tough on the frat boy and his Iraqi war policies. Well too late. Where were you during the run up to this war, when the frat boy and his minions were lying to the American people to sell this fiasco? I will tell you where you were. Waving flags and cheer leading with the rest of the idiots over at the FAKE NEWS NETWORK. So too little too late as far as I am concerned. I will never trust the American media again. I will just as soon get my world news from the British press or any Third World rag which employees real journalist.

I am wondering why I can't get into Barack. I mean it seems every one else is, black, and white. Every thing seems in place with him. But something about the brother just doesn't sit right with me. Still, I am not going to knock him just yet. I am glad he is on the national scene and exposing white folks to a brother that's....well, articulate.

I am definitely not feeling Hillary. And I am not sure I get all the black love. I can't forgive her flip flopping on this war, and her seemingly perfect answers to every question. Girlfriend, could you let your hair down for just a minute? You are like a f*****g machine.

This blogging thing keeps popping up in my mind. I saw over at My DD where they are still talking about the "blogger apartheid ". (Yeah, they really do care) And I saw where a poster over there said I had some faux anger issues. "So the rage against the machine bit is self created. If you want to talk about Iraq, or oil, or campaign finance reform, or deficit/debt...there's none of that on FieldNegro" . No partner, my rage against the machine issue is not contrived. There is lots to be angry about. Maybe not for you, in your America, but the America I see everyday makes me really angry. So excuse me if I am not "happy" enough for you. If you want to see or hear happy black people, may I suggest you watch BET, or turn on Tom Joyner in the mornings; that's some happy for your ass. If angry black people scare you, you might want to stay the f**k out of the fields. ~~~sorry Mr. Barber, I was just thinking about something~~~ See that My DD poster, thinking about your ass almost got me a nick on my dome. My barber likes me to be very still when he is working his razor.

So I am thinking about this Anna Nicole thing, and how she allegedly went and hooked up with "Dexter" down in the Bahamas. Girlfriend did not play. But I wonder if she is going to be still America's pseudo sweet heart after that little nugget becomes known far and wide. Somehow I doubt it. I mean multiple lovers of the white persuasion is one thing. But Dexter? You see what happened to Madonna's ass, she had to move to England. Too many "Dexters" in her past.

Is that Colin Powell's picture I saw on the back of my milk box this morning? Where the hell is that brother? I am thinking he is with Condi somewhere, drinking shots and cursing the frat boy.

Thank you Mr. Barber, my dome is looking right. Sorry about flinching there for a minute, I was just thinking about some things.

A Not So Happy Day

Today the field is in a real shi**y mood. The East Coast is still feeling like we are in the fu****g ice age, and it has to be minus fifty degrees outside. To top it off, I was totally off my litigating game, and got my ask kicked in court by some ADA fresh out of law school.

So while driving home from work, I find myself filled with negative thoughts, and as a result, some things come to mind that really set me off. To insure that I won't be alone in my misery, I will share them with you:

Tip cups. Why does every freaking store have to have a tip cup? I am so sick of business people depending on my f*****g tips to offset their employees salaries it isn't funny. And have you ever noticed how some of those mother f*****s watch your tip as you drop it in the cup-Dunkin Donuts comes to mind-to make sure you are not stiffing them? Enough already!

Girl Scouts and their fu****g cookies. "Would you like to buy some cookies sir?" No little girl, I just bought cookies from the other little girl scouts camped outside my gas station, my grocery store, and my freaking front door. No I don't want to buy anymore girl scout cookies!

Co-workers who go around collecting for sh** for their kids school. OK you hit me up for $20 last week, can you wait at least another...oh, I don't know, maybe month or so before you hit me up again?

People with fake sh**. Folks, if it ain't real what's the point of wearing it? To fool people into thinking you have a real Louis Vuitton or Coach hand bag? News flash, it ain't working.
Stevie Wonder can see that your stuff is fake, and so can damn near everyone else you come in contact with. Trust me, you are far better off with a real handbag from K-Mart than with some knock off sh** you bought from the vendor on the street.

People who tell everyone via bumper stickers on their cars, that they are Christians, that their child is a straight A student at Main Street Elementary, or that abortion is wrong. Keep that sh** to yourself. The world doesn't need to know that your thoughts are thanks to a sign plastered on your car. Like I need to be looking at a sign that says "Jesus Saves" when I am on my way to deal with the sh** I deal with every day.

Republicans. OK, most republicans...no, fu** it, right about now I hate all those mother f*****s, if only because they voted in the frat boy. So yeah, republicans get under my skin big time! Most are self centered hypocrites who hate blacks,gays, immigrants, and atheist. (Not necessarily in that order) But then, some democrats get under my skin too. They pretend to be so progressive, but are no less ignorant and hypocritical than the republicans they claim to be so different from.

Politicians. They lie, they cheat, they steal, and will do damn near anything to get elected and hold on to power. The only thing worse than a politician in my book, is a republican politician.

I could go on, but I just heard Anna Nicole Smith was found dead in Florida. Now I know I am supposed to say something respectful and profound here but I can't. Sorry, I feel nothing. I am still not sure I understand the American fascination with celebrities and their lives. -and deaths- Here was a woman whose only connection to me was the constant tabloid and gossip rags detailing her life's excesses with various men, and an 89 year old billionaire. I never got her while she was alive, and I sure as hell and not going to pretend I get her now. Sorry if I am being a bit harsh on the former "Trim Spa" spokesperson, she has a five month old, and I feel for the kid. But....

You know what, I better call it a night, I really don't want to say something I might regret at a later time. This has just been a real f****d up day, and I don't want to make it any worse. I am not sure if it's the cold, my job, or the fact that I have an appointment with my accountant tomorrow to do my taxes....that's another thing that sets me off; The damn IRS!