Mr. Morton, silence might be golden for you.

So now that it has been confirmed that the Breck Boy was getting some nooky on the side, the right wing attack dogs have been foaming at the mouth. Over at FUCK NEWS, as can be expected, it has been wall to wall coverage. One of their blond bimbo anchors and the house Negro with the fucked up toupee even had some clown on from the "National Inquirer" today. He was promising to give us more juicy headlines and drop another bombshell or two soon. *Yawn*. Can someone please wake me when this shit is over? Like we really care who or what someone is poking as long as they can do the job we elected them to do.

Here is the thing that a lot of these right wing crazies don't get: The only reason we are all over them when they are caught fucking around on their spouses, is because they are such a bunch of hypocrites. Bob Livingston going all out to get Bill Clinton, for the very same thing he was doing at the time, took balls. The lying piece of shit, Larry Craig, trying to get his freak on in a public bathroom, while publicly condemning gays and sponsoring legislation against homosexual behavior, took big ones. (No pun intended)

Which leads me to Mr. Morton. A word to the wise for the salty one: While this John Edwards thing is going down, you need to keep your damn mouth shut. You have been getting a pass from the A-merry-can people because you are a war hero, but you are no different or better than John Edwards. You did the exact same thing. You fucked around on your first wife. And from all indication, you have been fucking around on this one too.

But don't worry, your friends over at FAKE NEWS will realize this soon. And, as a result, they will ease up on the Breck Boy just a little bit. Let's hope that they do, because if they don't, folks will start pointing their fingers at you. And I am sure that this is the type of scrutiny you don't want.

MY PICKS FOR THE PEOPLE WHO DID THE MOST TO FUCK UP THE REPUBLIC IN 2007.

George Bush- Duh! We could have had him on this list every year since 2001.

Dick Cheney- See the previous post.

The Republican candidates for president- All male, all white, and all scary as fuck.

Mass murderers- Colleges, churches, malls; nowhere was safe from these sick mother fuckers.

Erik Prince-as CEO of Blackwater, this bible toting fascist has his own private army. God help us. Oh wait, god will only help him. We are truly fucked!

The U.S. congress- These assholes have an approval rating in the low twenties. Why? Because they allowed the frat boy to have his way; and, because they are as slimy and as sleazy as ever.

Larry Craig, Bob Allen,Richard Curtis,Donald Fleischman, and Glenn Murphy, Jr.-All these phony ass republicans have a sexual secret to hide, but openly act as if gays are trying to destroy the republic. You hypocritical dick heads can all kiss my black ass......correct that; you might enjoy it too much.

Britney Spears and her newly knocked up sister-Enough already!

Don Imus- "Nappy headed hoes"? But not to worry, he has shown his love for black people by putting two token house Negroes on his show.

Michael Medved- He doesn't think slavery was that bad. Hey, he is speaking for 30% of the folks here in A-merry-ca, so get used to it.

Rupert Murdoch- His FAKE NEWS empire just keeps growing, and A-merry-cans just keep tuning in.

Television political and social pundits-Out of touch, and out of things to say. You all should just shut up and stop stealing money from the networks.

Alberto Gonzales-This lying little twit set the justice department back 50 years.

Mitt Romney- All lies and all smiles. This phony with the Colgate smile deserves a special place away from the other re-puke-lican candidates for president because he is the most dangerous. Yes, even more dangerous than Rudy.

O.J. Simpson-After you killed those two people and got away with it, you should have gotten as far away from A-merry-ca as possible. But somehow you were still under the illusion that white folks loved your house Negro ass. Well they got you now, and trust me, they won't miss twice.

Television news producers-For giving us wall to wall news about missing white women, and failing to tell us about all the others.

Reed Walters- District Attorney LaSalle Parrish, Louisiana. For your handling of the Jena Six case. Nuff said!

David Patraeus-Because of your use of the frat boy's talking points we are still mired in this fucked up war. The "Move On" people were right.

Nancy Pelosi-If she spent as much time doing her job as she does on her fucking clothes and makeup we might get somewhere in congress.

And every single House Negro that I featured on my side bar in 2007.

With friends like these....

You gotta love those Republicans. Man they bailed on Larry Craig to the quickness didn't they? You would think the guy voted for a tax increase for crying out loud. Hey, he didn't do anything that any other sleazy hypocritical republican wouldn't do, why throw him under the bus (or should I say bathroom stall) now?

I know why; could it be because Idaho has a republican governor, and he will quickly appoint another republican to bathroom footsie man's seat? Ding ding ding ding; you are right field Negro, move to the head of the class.

Consider that David Vitter, that family values man from Louisiana, was actually making phone calls to call girls from the senate cloakroom. The last time I checked, soliciting call girls is illegal in D.C. So why no outrage or censor for Mr. Vitter? Could it be because Louisiana has a democratic governor and she would appoint a Democrat to Mr. Vitter's seat? Ding ding ding ding; field Negro, move to the head of the class again, you are so smart when it comes to your politics.

Hey, all I know is that I wouldn't want to be in the foxhole with those senate republicans when the chips are down. I mean they dropped my man quicker than a bad habit. It must be tough for old Larry. All these people he thought were his friends bailed out on him for political expediency. Now if they would do that to a so called friend, what do you think they would do to you and me? Think about that for a minute. These slime balls only care about one thing, and that's holding on to power, period! Nothing else matters to them, nothing.

So Larry, as you prepare for life after Washington, I hope you have learned some valuable lessons from this: Never trust a republican, pick your friends carefully, and the next time you use a public restroom, make sure you keep your feet together.

THOSE FREAKY REPUBLICANS

Hey, say what you want to about the repubs--those boys sure know how to get their freak on. I know they are always preaching to the rest of us about family values, christian morality, and whatever other bull shit they can feed us to keep the spotlight away from them while they hide those skeletons. But, you gotta love 'em.

Let's see now...there was Newt Gingrich--you remember Newt, don't you? This scum bag had an extra marital affair behind his sick wife's back, while he was trying to impeach the first black Prez for getting his freak on. There's also Bob Livingstone--another cheating scumbag, who was exposed for the fraud that he is, for saying one thing and doing another.

And now...let's fast forward--shall we. Ladies and gentleman I give you another Louisiana republican, the Honorable David Vitter. Apparently, my man's number was found in a D.C. Madam's little black book. Of course, he has since held the mandatory press conference (wife-in-tow, of course) and declared, as Bernie Mac says; "it was a long, long time ago, a very long time ago, you know!" And ...he has since found God and family. There was also Mark Foley, (no explanation needed) Bob Allen, (Remember Bob? I posted about him. He is the guy who was going to fork over $20 for oral sex because he was intimidated by all the black guys in the park). And now, The latest playa in the republican freak parade is Airport Larry Craig himself.

Hey, they not only like to have extramarital sex in strange places, but it seems they like to do their drugs too--just ask Thomas Ravenel, Rudy Giuliani's state campaign chairman for South Carolina. Apparently my man was busted with some cocaine recently. OK, so they love sex and drugs. If only they had some rhythm. They could complete the trifecta. But hey, they are republicans, so the rock and roll stuff will have to be left to some other group.

Oh those republicans man, I swear. There are lots more of you, too. I just don't have time to write about you all right now. And folks, if you think I am lying, peep this site for a nice list.

"If we had a coach, the coach would take us into the locker room and scream at us"

~~~John Feehery, former press secretary to Dennis Hastert~~~

I am down with that, but may I suggest a good ass whopping first?

But senator, I just met you.

The field is stuck at the airport waiting for a flight. The field is bored because his flight is late. The field doesn't want to stuff his face with airport junk food , so he loads up on some ice cold mineral water. Not surprisingly, the field has to go and take a quick twinkle.

The field is in the men's bathroom, freeing his willy wonka, and spilling his yellow lemon aide in its appropriate place. So while he is, ahem ahem, flowing; an older white haired gentleman slides up to the urinal next to the field. Mmmm, the field is a little curios, there are plenty of empty stalls in the bathroom, and this older white gentleman comes right next to the field.

He is glancing around, he looks nervous, every now and then he glances down at the field, and now the field is getting a little pissed. The field starts to shake his willy wonka (This of course takes awhile :)) and the man is staring intently at the field's, ahem ahem tool. "Motherfucker are you looking at my dick? "The field is furious. "Oh, no, I was just admiring it," says the old white haired white gentleman. "Admiring it?""Yes, I am sorry.... may I touch it?"" Ahhh hell no! What kind of man do you think I am. First, I am not gay, so I don't think I would particularly enjoy you touching my Johnson. And second, if I was gay, you sure as fuck wouldn't be my type."" Well, I am a U.S. Senator, I could make it worth your time."" Ahhh no, I don't think so."" Please, I just got off of very a long flight, and I am feeling particularly horny right about now. I have always had jungle fever, we don't see too many of you people where I am from in Idaho. I see lots of you in D.C., but I am a well respected Republican, and I can't afford to mess up, I have to be careful."" Well you ain't being so fucking careful now. I mean we are in a public rest room, and I am a total stranger. Forget the fact that I could commence to whopping your ass, but if I were a cop, I could arrest you for lewd behaviour(British spelling woozie) in a public restroom . Did you say you were a Republican?" "Yes I am."" Well what is it with you freaky mother fuckers? Look man, if I were you, I would zip up my pants, and walk away. I am going to do you a favour(British spelling woozie) and pretend this didn't happen. You are lucky I am not a reporter or a blogger or some shit. Now go on man, before I call the cops on your ass. " :)

OK, so the above story was fictional. But I did get my inspiration from this report.

Hey, at least he didn't blame his behavior on being nervous because too many blacks were around.

Gotta love those conservative republicans. Here is a guy who endorsed his state's(Idaho) anti gay amendment, HJR2, which essentially banned gay marriages,civil unions, and domestic partnerships. Yet, the motherfucker is in a public bathroom trying to play footsie with an undercover cop from a bathroom stall.

Folks, that's called balls. Whoops, maybe I should have used another word.