The worst mistake Barack Hussein Obama made this past election season, was not when he made that comment about "guns and god" when referring to small town folks. It was not picking Joe Biden instead of Hillary as his running mate. And it wasn't failing to keep the good Reverend in the closet until after the elections. No, the biggest mistake his O ness made was promising those cute little daughters of his that they would get a puppy if he won.
Now, as to be expected, A-merry-cans are losing their natural minds over the prospect of this new pet in the White House. (Wasn't eight years of that little man biter, "Barney", enough for you people?) I told you all that white folks love their pets. Do you need any further proof than this? I swear, you white folks are more excited about the prospect of having a cuddly little pup in the people's house, more than you are of having that family from the South side of Chicago. Now the big question facing Obama isn't what he will do in the Middle East or Iraq; or even how he will try to solve this credit mess that we are in. No, the big question is what kind of pup he will pick for those precious little girls. Poor Michelle. I know she didn't have this dilemma growing up, because her parents were...well, both black. Obama, on the other hand,.....well, he can relate a little bit, at least half of him can....
Now the suggestions are coming fast and furious. It seems that picking a first pup will be a major decision for the new president, and A-merry-cans, bless their pet loving hearts, are waiting with bated breaths. Meanwhile, somewhere in A-merry-ca, a lab owner is furiously writing letters to his editor in hopes of influencing the process.
“We have two criteria that have to be reconciled. One, is that Malia is allergic so it has to be hypoallergenic. There are a number of breeds that are hypoallergenic,” he said. “On the other hand, our preference would be to get a shelter dog, but obviously a lot of shelter dogs are mutts — like me. So whether we’re going to be able to balance these two things I think is a pressing issue in the Obama household.”
Oh ohhh, so now we know that just not any little pup can become the first pet. Seems there are some "criteria". See, I knew you were no good O man, the republicans might have been right about you all along. How dare you practice partisanship and discrimination when it comes to picking the little guy? Well you might want to listen to some suggestions before you start setting up these parameters: No Poodles, you could be seen as elitist. No Rottweilers, too mean. (Although I think you might need a good guard dog) No Pit Bulls, we are trying to forget about Michael Vick and that "dark" chapter in our nation's dog loving history. And now, even the American Kennel Club is helping out; seems they have some suggestions too. Just what the hell is a "Bichon Frise"? And just so none of the breeds would be offended, they gave the Obamas a list to choose from. It's a short and distinguished list, all the"Bichon Frises" should be proud. Hell even the government of Peru has stepped in. They actually have a hairless dog over there, [*see pic above] which given Malia's allergies, they think would be perfect for the kids. You gotta love those Peruvians.
Me being the good citizen that I am, and wanting to do my civic duty; I was thinking of some pets the Obamas could bring to the White House as well. I thought, for instance, about a beautiful exotic African parrot. But then I realized that the first time the poor bird said: "Polly wants a cracker" in public, A-merry-cans would lose their red white and blue loving minds. See there? "Cracker"; the bird is only repeating what it hears those racist saying in private.....ahh let me stop I don't want to be too dogmatic about the whole thing.
But seriously, does it have to be a dog? Would Sasha and Malia settle for a nice goldfish, or a cute little fuzzy rabbit? The first rabbit has a nice ring to it. Still, if it has to be a dog, I have a suggestion for you O man; just make sure it comes from the animal shelter. It would send a huge message to every A-merry-can out there, that even a dog who came from a shelter can end up being the first pet some day. Think of the inspiration the little pooch will be to other animals in shelters all across the country? I get teary eyed just thinking about it.
If the dogs could bark "yes we can", they would.