On the day when his O ness had his first press conference (Damn it O man I heard you were 30 minutes late. White folks won't tell you, so I will: You better cut that "CP" shit out right now. You are POTUS damn it, set an example. At least I know you are black now), and the republicans continue to wonder just what the hell hit them on election day. I am going to try and help out my republican friends a little bit. I hope folks like Kevin Ross, Mhandisa, a2dak, and some of my other right leaning friends are reading this, because I want them to pass it on to some of the folks in the "R" tent.
Right now the rethugs are in some serious trouble. They are now clearly the minority party in this country and things aren't looking like they are going to get better anytime soon. They control just 14 out of the 50 state legislatures, just 21 governors, and they lost even more seats in this past general election. As Domenic Montanaro, writing for msnbc.com said: "The are perceived by many voters as being either incompetent, corrupt, or just not standing for much." Now that's a mouthful, but it's true. George Bush, backward thinking leaders, and the religious right (which, again, is neither) have pretty much assured the republicans that they will be playing second fiddle in A-merry-can politics for awhile to come. And, in a way, that's a shame, not because I agree with much of what they ever have to say, but because I believe that we need a strong two party system in this country. I love a rigorous debate.
It seems like not too long ago the democrats were in this very same position, and republicans and their conservative movement dominated everything politics in this country. Every A-merry-can wanted to be identified as a conservative, and every A-merry-can was running from the "L" word. (How dare you call me a liberal? Those are fighting words, take that back) But what a difference a bad president and poor campaign to become president can make. Now they are the butt of all of our late night jokes, and no one (except the folks at FOX) wants to be associated with these losers. Even the people who worked together to win the presidency are fighting among themselves . Can it get any worse than this?
I hate to tell you this my republican friends, but it can. In fact, it can get much worse. Your base is getting older, whiter, and more dogmatic when it comes to their religion. Meanwhile, the rest of the country is getting younger, more mixed, and more tolerant when it comes to religion.
So here is my suggestion to you: (You can thank me later)
Find a message that is more inclusive and stick to it. "Compassionate Conservative" was a good one, you just had the wrong guy talking about it.
Cut some of those religious fanatics loose. They scare people. No one, not even people who consider themselves religious, wants to hear a bunch of bible thumpers telling them how to live their lives and demanding that their politicians pass some kind of a god test. Trust me on this one, all those Southern white folks in those five thousand congregation mega churches ain't voting for a democrats no matter what you do to them, so just leave them alone.
Start getting more involved with African American professional organizations and groups. And start trying to recruit young African Americans to your fold. Go to HBCU's, go to churches, go to community organizations, and get engaged. Have open frank discussion, sponsor open microphone forums and debates, and put some of your people in there and tell your side of the story, and what it is that you think makes your party better. Go on in the hood, contrary to what you might have heard, black folks don't bite. And don't worry about getting shot or killed, we only do that to each other.
Stop being demagogues with issues like welfare, crime, and taxes. That is old now; most A-merry-cans can see right through that. You can only go to that well but so much. They know that you are trying to say that only black folks get welfare, only black folks commit crimes, and that all of your tax dollars are going to take care of black folks. But they know it's bullshit, because they know that most of the taxes are going to fund the war in Iraq, quite a few white families are having to depend on the government, and crime can happen anywhere. Even on college campuses, and in lily white high schools.
Lose some of your media people who have become the face of your party. Fred Barnes? Charles Krauthammer? Robert Novak? Come on now.
We need to see more of Bobby Jindal, and any other republican of color that you can find to prop up on the National stage. You have got to find your own version of Obama and fast. Maybe you can get Jessie Jackson, Jr. to switch parties.
And while we are on the subject of black folks representing your party; please send a memo to FAKE NEWS right now, and beg them to stop featuring Negroes like Jesse Lee Peterson as your token black republican. The shit is embarrassing to you, and to us black folks. Not one thinking black person in A-merry-ca will take a serious look at your party if they see Jesse on television as being indicative of the type of black folks that you attract . And another thing, tell the black folks that you do put out there to stop bashing their own people. That shit was played out with Cos. Tell them to offer what they think are real solutions to black A-merry-ca's problems. Tell them to talk about things like school choice, minority business empowerment zones, tougher gun laws, tax breaks for businesses who set up sho*[p] and hire from underprivileged neighborhoods. And tell them to talk about private and religious based volunteer programs, as well as community outreach organizations that your party would be glad to get involved with.
I mean there is more, but I a have given you enough free advice for one night. Besides, if you guys aren't smart enough to figure this thing out, you don't deserve our vote or our support.
Now, please keep in mind that this does not apply to the highest office in the land. I am talking about local governments, as well as congressional and statewide races here. The presidency you can pretty much forget until at least 2016. Because these Negroes ain't voting for nobody else but their man, Obama. And unless you can get a new and improved model of his O ness real quick, it's pretty much a wrap.
*Thanks Robert M